Login with:

Facebook

Twitter

Tumblr

Google

Yahoo

Aol.

Mibba

Your info will not be visible on the site. After logging in for the first time you'll be able to choose your display name.

It Takes Patience III: Stripped

Chapter 45: Crutch

*Harry's POV*

“It was her. When you cheated, it was her.”

“You need to sit down.” I tried to keep my voice at a soothing level but there was no point in it.

“No, I think I know what I need–” Reagan spoke sternly as she walked to and fro in her room clothing herself quickly and slamming her wardrobe drawers as she went.

“– I need some goddamn answers! Is what I need!” Fully dressed quickly and in a hurry, Reagan walked back over to her closet door opening it as if she was in search of something and then slamming it shut again, causing the mirror attached to it to shake due to the overexerted force that she used. If she would have pushed any harder I’m sure that the glass would be lying by her feet in pieces.

“God, I knew it! I fucking knew it! There was something about her, about the two of you that never sat right with me. The way she looks at you and the way that you act about her. You made me seem like I was wrong about my suspicion, like I was crazy for even allowing the thought to cross my mind.”

“I don’t care about her the way that I care about you. I love you. If I didn’t I wouldn’t be here. I told you that night was a stupid mistake on my part. It meant nothing to me then and it doesn’t now.”

“Did you have sex with her?”

“What?! Why would you ask that? Don’t ask that.” Guilt covers me like an overcast. I hoped that it wouldn't get this far.

“Harry just answer the question!”

“...Yes.”

“You've go to be fucking kidding me.” Reagan chuckled humorlessly resting her hand on her forehead in bewilderment. To be honest I was shocked myself. I didn't want to tell her, but I know that its better this way.

“That day I let you wear my jacket, when you found the number in my pocket. I told you that there were four girls but I only talked about three...”

“She was the fourth?” Reagan’s voice was barely at a whisper, but it was laced with disgust.

“Yes.” I shudder after I admit it just as disgusted with myself as she is.

“Did anything happen when–” Reagan’s sentence is cut halfway through as we both hear the garage door open. Time had raced by us and it felt like this morning and this afternoon were a completely different day. Her mum calls for the both of us from downstairs, but seeing as how I’m not dressed yet Reagan walks past brushing my shoulder roughly as she left me to change.



I popped two capsules in my mouth before I finally went down stairs, greeting Reagan’s mum awkwardly as her daughter glared at me from the other end of the room. This relationship is full of unfinished conversations, but I intend to get this one over with as quickly as possible.

“How was you guys’ day? Did Reagan show you around, Harry?”

“No, I didn't. I really don’t have to. He knows how to get around well enough with out me.”

I bit my tongue while staring at her.I could tell by the overly sweet undertone of her voice that her last comment was nothing more than a dig at me. It was taking everything in my being not to say anything back to her and I know that if I did I would be the one in the wrong. Reagan raised her eyebrow, daring me to challenge her and even though I shouldn't have I allowed my disorder to take hold before the medication could.

“Oh, but you did show me this one place earlier this morning? We were there for quite a while. I can’t remember the name of the place though. I think it starts with a ‘p.’”

Reagan’s jaw drops, but she recovers quickly and I immediately feel like an ass as soon as the words are lashed out by my tongue. I would never tell her parents about the doctors if she didn't want me to and to even allude that I would was a shit move to pull. Her mum is oblivious to our argument, but if it continues nothing will be able to be hidden behind snide comments and remarks.

She doesn’t speak to me for the rest of the afternoon, but we both put up a facade during dinner, sitting next to each other closely, but not too close, acknowledging each other only when brought into conversation, but steering clear of each other when neither of us had anything to say.

I hate this.

I hate that she asked, I hate that I told her, and I hate that I jumped at the chance to say something that I know would hurt her after everything that went on today and the conversations that we had.

David watches me like a hawk through dinner, giving me either the ‘I know what you two were doing earlier in my daughters bedroom’ glare or the ‘you’re not good enough for her’ glance. Both of which are distrusting and enough to make me feel nervous.

“Did Reagan show you around today?” The same question is repeated to me by her father this time as glasses and her mum clear the table.

“No, not really.” I speak quietly catching Reagan’s eyes before she rolls them away from me.

“Hmm, that’s a shame. What did the two of you do all day when we were gone then sweetheart?”

As soon as David asks, my eyes widen as I try to hold back a smirk and Reagan begins to choke on the water that she’d just swallowed. I quickly stood to go by her side, rubbing her back and slightly patting it as I did in hopes to help even though I know if she could tell me to fuck off without her parents getting suspicious I bet she would.

I honestly wouldn’t blame her.

“Are you okay?” I whisper to her once her coughing fit stops and she looks at me nodding her head yes before she begins to reply to her father in a raspy voice.

“I uh, we– we went to lunch and then down by the pier, but we didn’t do much. Just lazed about the house and watched a few movies.”

I glance quickly over at Reagan and I would be lying if I wasn’t impressed by how quickly she came up with that one. Her mom smiles at us in approval and her dad nods his head up and down almost as if he buys her story too. Fuck, I might have even bought it if I didn’t know the truth about how we really spent the day in a dismal doctors clinic and in bed, making love until the sheets practically burned us. Glasses begins to rub the palm of her hand over the top of her thigh and to me its a dead giveaway of her nerves and the lie that she just told, but her parents don’t seem to notice her little twitch. It makes me smile to think that I might be the only one who does.


*Reagan’s POV*

The night passes with all of us sitting in the family room watching reruns of Arrested Development on television. My mother and father both sat on the couch while Harry and I sat in arm chairs on opposite sides of the room from each other.

This is what it’s come to. This is what it always comes to and frankly I’ve become weary of the pattern that I see. I would love to have one day with him when it runs smoothly and we’re not at each others throats, but its damn near impossible when Harry goes for my jugular every time he see’s an opening. I can feel his eyes on me. Every few minutes or so his green eyes bore into my temple from the other side of the room as he leans his head on his fist while his elbow rests on the arm of the lazy boy, and every few minutes or so I force myself to ignore him.

I can hear his heavy sigh as he shifts in his chair and from my peripheral vision I can see him shuffling around in his pockets before my lap vibrates. Its an obvious message from him, but what I need to say can’t and won’t be said through texts. Two minutes pass and the same excessive buzz radiates from my lap reminding me that I have a notification. If I don’t at least check the message to see what he has to say, I know that more will start to pile up and take up space.

From: Harry Pleassssse?!
Your side profile is beautiful. Even with that vein popping out

I roll my eyes and set the phone back in my lap. I don’t even get an apology and he knows that I deserve one, not that I would have cared much for it. Saying I’m sorry in a text message has no real meaning and is just as impersonal and callus as a typed letter.

From: Harry Pleassssse?!
Glasses, please don’t ignore me. I didn’t mean it.

I stood from my seat drawing the attention of the room, including the one who I needed the attention of the most.

“It’s a nice night and we’ve been in the house all day for the most part, Harry come outside with me?” Even though it sounded like a question it was more of stern a demand and Harry quickly caught on to the seriousness in my tone. He stood from the chair and followed behind me until we made it to the backyard. The only lighting was the moon that had shown through the trees that lined the privacy fencing.

I removed my socks and threw them to the side of me before rolling up the leg of my jeans and allowing my feet to dip in the cool water of the pool. Harry balanced on one leg as he did the same, rolling up his pant legs before he sat next to me, gripping the pools edge as he looked up at the sky and all of the stars. His leg swung back and forth in the water causing it to splash onto both of our jean clad legs before he tried to speak.

“I’m–”

“Don’t talk. You’ve talked and talked and dug your hole. All I need you to do right now is listen.” Harry’s eyebrow raised in curiosity and shock and almost a sense of innocence, but he bit his bottom lip and stayed silent none the less while he waited for me to continue.

“I don’t care what you did with her. Thats not why I’m angry. It annoys me that she’s always seems to be there and that she’s sneaky and conniving and she was around you when we needed each other most, but thats in the past. You were right about one thing earlier,you’re here with me now and that’s all that matters, as long as nothing more happened between the two of you since we’ve been together. Let me know now because if anything more surfaces later on I don’t know if I’ll be able to stand it...” I paused and waited with bated breath, terrified yet eager to know what would come out of his mouth, if anything. Harry lowered his head as if to think over what he wanted to say since I’ve given him an opening, and as he began to fidget with the rings that he wore on his fingers time seemed to slow.

“I used to think that I loved her–” I could feel bile rise in my throat but I sat none the less and let him finish. “When I was younger I thought I loved her, but for the wrong reasons. Tamsin knew, about what was going on, and I asked her to keep her mouth shut about it. She did but it didn’t do me any good. When she told me she loved me, I did feel something but I didn’t figure out what it was until recently–” It felt as if the wind was knocked out of me, but before I could react, Harry’s hand enveloped mine.

“Its not what you think. I know what you’re thinking. Please, just let me finish.” I willed my heart to slow down in my chest and my body to stay seated so that conversation could continue. I still have something to say to Harry, but he needs to get this off of his chest first.

“I pitied her. I pitied her because I know that she loves me, but I feel absolutely nothing for her now except for pity and resentment. Tamsin will never have what we do and I will never feel anything for her as strongly as I do for you.”

I nodded my head in understanding. I can see why Tamsin feels the way that she does. It’s easy to fall in love with Harry, but she needs to learn how to admire from a goddamn distance.

“I know why you’re angry and I’m sor–”

“Stop right there. I heard what I needed to hear from you for the time being but I still just need you to be quiet now.” Harry’s eyebrows furrowed, clearly not liking being constantly cut off, but what I have to say needs to be said before anything else.

“I’m sorry for the getting around comment that I made in the kitchen. I was wrong and I’m big enough to admit that sometimes I antagonise you with the things that I say, but you’re just as wrong as I am. I understand your disorder, Harry but I also understand that most of the time its you. You use the disorder as a crutch and an excuse to lash out on other people and then blame it on being the way you are when its not. That is not who you are, its something that you have to deal with but I will not sit and let you tell me that’s how you are so stop fucking acting like it and stop letting it define you. You saying you’re sorry and you actually meaning it are two different things.”

Harry’s jaw tightens and flexes as he continues to twist the rings on his fingers and a night breeze blows that soothes me into a relaxation state. I know that he doesn't like what I said, but I’m only doing what needs to be done in order to end the vicious cycle that we put ourselves through. I yawn before I stand up as my body succumbs to the hour and the strenuous exercise that it gained today from Harry.

“I’m gonna go to bed.” Harry doesn’t move to stand, only holds on to the pool edge when I bend over to give him a kiss on the cheek. Even though I’m still annoyed with him, my heart and feelings for him continue to show through.

“I love you.” H. nods his head, not intending to be rude only thinking over what I’d just said to him as he brushes his hair away from his face and into a lopsided quiff.

I go back inside, leaving the door open for H. hoping that he knows that I only said what I did out of love.

*Harry’s POV*

Hours seemed to pass like seconds after I’d gotten into bed with Reagan’s words on a constant repeat.The more I tried to ignore it, the louder it got. She’s annoying. She manages to annoy the shit out of me even when we’re not in the same room. The worst part about it is that she was right. I grabbed my phone before getting out of bed using the light in order to navigate through the unfamiliar house without knocking anything over. I quietly climbed the stairs and opened Reagan’s door to find her sleeping peacefully with her body curled into one of her long lumpy pillows.

Closing the door behind me before I climbed into bed with her, I moved the pillow that she had herself wrapped around and replaced it so that she would lie on me the same way.

“Reagan?” I shook lightly, hoping that she would rouse, but only got a content sigh in response as she hugged her arms around my waist. I began to run my fingers through her hair like the sop that I am, before I spoke.

“The last person that I want to hurt, intentionally or unintentionally by anything that I say or do is you. I love you, you’re right, and I’m sorry. I’ll try and do better even if it means biting a hole through my tongue.” I bend down to kiss her temple, before making myself tear away from her warmth. I've missed sleeping in the same bed as her almost more than I missed making love to her.

When I shift to move, a sleepy groggy voice stops my actions.

“Stay here with me.”

“You’re a cheeky little shit, glasses. You heard what I said?”

“Every word Harold. Stay here with me.” I can tell that she’s smiling even though my eyes haven’t completely adjusted to how dark her room is yet.

“I'm sure your mum and dad wouldn't like it if they found me in your bedroom in the morning, especially since your dad checks. Did you see the way that he looked at me after he asked what we'd done all day?”

Reagan laughed while rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

“Then I’ll come down to the guest room with you and you can blame it on me.”

Reagan stood from the bed and lead the way back into the empty bedroom where I was staying. She curled into me, lulling me into the most peaceful sleep I’ve had in weeks as her fingers traced a familiar lazy pattern over the tattoo on my abs.



Notes

Hello to my beautiful bunch! Late update because I love you all! How was your day anddd what did you think of this chapter? I'm sorry if it was a snooze lol but tell me what you thought about it regardless to if you liked it or could have done without it. Load me up with tons and tons of comments because I still live off of them!Do you all agree with Rea or do you think that she expects too much from Harry? Are you all eager to see what's been going on in London? ;} I know I am ;) Its coming up soon enough! If you're enjoying the third ITP (I really hope you are) and you haven't subscribed or voted yet, please please do? I love to see those numbers go up as well as comment numbers. They all literally make me so happy! I LOVE YOU ALL BUNCHES FOR READING AND YOU'RE ALL TOTAL BEAUTIES!!!~Xx

PS: Don't forget to tweet me if you'd like @_XOXOHES_ :*

Comments

@XOXOH

Hi there lovely, I am a big fan of your books and you don't know how happy I am to see you back here. I LOVE THIS TRIOLOGY so dam much......so let me get this straight....you are not updating this story anymore on here? You are only going to continue this story on wattpad?? .....despite what decision you make I will be waiting for you because I want to know what will HAPPEN ....sorry I am weird xxx

@MACxx
No problem xx

@polisson just added you on watt pad can't wait to see what you have in store! Starting uni daze as we speak thank you for replying to me!!! :)

@MACxx
Hi love! I am XOXOH I unfortunately can't log into my account on here for whatever odd reason??? Google gives me an access denied message but it still shows me when people comment here.Anyway, I will be posting this story again on wattpad under the user polisson it's gonna be a revamp so it will probably be a bit longer and have new parts. I wish I could log in to tell everyone about it. I also have another story that you may like there called Uni Daze. I'm sorry that I can't post here anymore :(

MISSING THIS SO BAD. My favorite book ever and ive been rereading to fill the whole in my heart! Truly miss your writing it's the only thing I have to look forward to when I get on here! Miss you hope to hear from you soon!