It Takes Patience III: Stripped
Chapter 27: On His Terms
*Reagan’s POV*
To: Harry Pleassssse?!
I was jealous and I’m sorry for that. I hate being away from you and the fact that she or anyone else for that matter gets to be there with you makes me crazy! Are you sure you’re okay?
I got out of the car after sending the message and walked with a bit more purpose into Dr. Stone’s office than I did on my first visit, even if it was because of a possible false hope that I had. When my name was called my palms immediately started to sweat. Dr. Stone sat in the chair across from me and smiled and even though I felt slightly uneasy, I smiled back at her, well enough to make it seem as if it was genuine.
“How are you today Reagan? Your ora today seems more open.”
“It is. I am. I’m good today.” I smiled again hoping that Dr. Stone wouldn't see my anxiousness.
“Thats good Reagan, very good. Did you–”
“I did my assignment.” I cut her off and as soon as I did, my cheeks reddened. I could feel the blush spread all the way down to my neck as an awkward feeling covered me like a sheet.
“You did? How did you feel afterwards and how do you feel about it now?” Can this session get anymore unrefined and mostly uncomfortable?
I shifted in my seat and became very interested in the coral coloring of my toenail polish before I answered the questions Dr. Stone had presented me with.
“Um, yeah I did...I felt fine afterwards and I feel fine about it now. Does that count as some type of breakthrough? Do I still need to come here and talk?” I looked her square in the eye answering her questions trying to be as assertive as possible, though I’m sure that my my entire body was consumed by a blush.
“You’re not being held here Reagan. It’s not mandatory that you stay, but I assure you that problems such as yours don’t just go away overnight and that one session has hardly changed anything. Dr. Koch also told me that your coming back to work for him depends solely on my professional opinion and unfortunately in my opinion, you’re still not ready.”
Problems such as mine. The statement repeated in my head. I know that I’m not over this, but right now the only problem that I have is not being where I feel that I need to be.I should have known that Dr. Koch had his overly controlling hand in this. It’s probably the reason that he sent me to another one of his ‘close associates’ instead of a doctor he wasn’t familiar with. I’m not required to stay, but at the same time my evil mastermind of a boss and professor made sure that I wasn’t able to leave freely either. Everything was on his terms and I have no choice other than to play by his rules. I nod my head at her and then cross my arms in my lap before I cross my legs, one over the other feeling more defeated than when I walked into her office.
“Not the news that you wanted to hear?”
I can feel my phone vibrate in my pocket before I shake my head no.
“I kind of knew the answer already…I was hoping that you would say that I could go back and that I was fine because I kind of had help with my, uh, my assignment, but hearing you say ‘problems such as mine’ puts a damper on things definitely.”
“Help in your assignment?”
Dr. Stone looked at me with questioning brown eyes and my own widened when I noticed that she wanted me to further elaborate. She put down her pen and stopped writing in my case file as she looked at me.
“I called my boyfriend and he...helped. Oh god, please don’t make me explain any more. You know what I mean, right?” This was somehow worse than talking to my mom about sex. I’ve always had trouble with the topic when speaking with people I didn’t know that well. As I think about the it, my lips curl into a small smile going against my feelings on the subject.
Remembering when Harry and I first brought up sex at Maudsley makes my heart beat quickly in my chest. If only I had known then what was in store for me now.
Dr. Stone’s lips turned up at the corners as well before she nodded her head slightly at my confession. She once again picked up her pen and began writing before addressing me any further.
“No no. No further elaboration is needed, but you didn’t tell me that at first. I would say that’s a step forward, but I still feel that you and I need to spend more time together.”
As she writes, I take out my phone to read the new message from H.
From: Harry Pleassssse?!
Its kind of sexy when you get jealous and to be honest it turns me on a bit but at the same time its annoying as fuck because I’ve told you before you have nothing to be jealous about! I’m fine. Didn’t realize what day it was...My mum’s kind of upset, but I’m fine. She’ll get over it.
I roll my eyes at Harry’s callous response. He still doesn’t feel any type a guilt in being the reason behind his mother’s delayed happiness and I hate it that he’s so relaxed with what he did.
“Is that him that you’re messaging?” Dr. Stone asked me causing me to put my phone in my lap and pay more attention to what’s going on in the room.
“It is… I’m sorry. What were you going to say?”
“I wasn’t going to say anything. Just that your entire face lit up when you were texting. You love him?”
I nodded my head yes as soon as the question escaped her lips, but I find it odd that the session had made a turn for my relationship with Harry more than any other topic that I’m sure could be discussed.
“And he loves you?” Dr. Stone interrupted my thoughts again.
“Yes, but what does this have to do with anything? Not to be rude, I just don’t understand where the line of questioning is coming from.”
Dr. Stone crossed her legs and put down my case file before she looked at me fixatedly. I could tell that she was deep in thought by the way that her eyebrows knotted. What ever would come out of her mouth next would be something detrimental to me and my time here, or at least I hoped it would be.
“Your relationship has a lot to do with the way that you handle what’s happened to you, Reagan. It can either be a great help or very hurtful. The fact that you’re still continuing in your relationship, is a big ordeal within itself because many don’t. If I’m not mistaken, you want to be finished with your sessions to get back to work, but most importantly back to him. Am I correct?”
I nod my head again in agreement as she reads me like an open book. Harry told me that he finds it uncomfortable when Dr. Baker looks into him so closely, but I for one find it refreshing to have someone to confide in without having to go too much into detail.
Dr. Stone looked at me again before biting her bottom lip.
“I would recommend that I see you in person for two more weeks three times a week,” My heart felt as if it would drop in my stomach at the thought of being away from H. for longer than I expected. I know its meant to help me, but right now it feels like another weight added on my back. “After that, if your progression continues, I’ll tell Dr. Koch to let you come back to work with my blessing and we can continue with skype sessions after that.”
I release the breath that I didn’t know was being held. I honestly don’t think that I can handle two more weeks of this. It’s nice being at home and if it were just time off I would look at the entire situation differently, but knowing that I didn’t come here to simply relax agitates my anxieties.
*Harry’s POV*
Work seemed to go by faster today than usual, and I can only assume it’s because I’m dreading what’s to come afterwards. The universe has a funny fucking way of getting back at me for the things I’ve done in the past whether they be in the form of nightmares, impending marriages or Tamsin. None of which I’m particularly happy about.
“You alright mate?” Zayn has been asking me the same question it seems since I’ve stepped foot in the damn bar.
“I’ll be fine if you stop asking me every five minutes, Zayn!” He puts his hands up in defense before he hops on top of the bar to comfortably talk to Perrie during his break. He bends down to give her a kiss and remove a strand of hair off of her face and I can’t help but scowl at the two of them. The bar is slow tonight so I don’t have much to distract me from the happy go lucky couple.
“Zayn get your ass off the bar top so I can wipe it down please? Hi Perrie.” She smiles and waves at me and I have to force myself to return the small gesture. My subconscious wants everyone to be as miserable as I am.
“The bar top is clean. You’ve wiped it down already.”
“Yeah but now your arse is on it so I’ve got to wipe it down again, just move!”
“Oi! Lighten the fuck up! You’ve been walking around here brooding all day.” Louis throws a dish rag at me and I catch it before it can hit me in the face. “Did you take your meds mate?”
“It has nothing to do with meds Lou and you know it.” Louis nods his head once in understanding before he claps me in between my shoulder blades.
“She’ll be back soon Harry and the lads and I will be there for your court date. Me dad will have the bar covered.”
I look over at Louis and thank him for both reassuring me about Reagan and for bringing up the court date that I had since put in the back of my mind. I chose to ignore the fact that he's obviously told the other lads about what's going on with me and Reagan. My stress level is high enough today as it is and according to Dr. Baker that's exactly what I don't need.
After I had finished wiping off the counter top for the third time in less than half an hour, I took out my phone to send Reagan a message only to see that I had already gotten one from her first. Before it could even be opened, another message rolled in making my annoyance spike. My shift was over and I hadn’t even noticed it.
From: Unknown
Im outside.
I saw no point in saving Tamsin’s number, every time it’s in my phone I only get into trouble.
To: Unknown
Then come in? I’m not getting in your car and you're not getting in mine. Whatever you need to say you need to say it in the open or forget having the conversation.
From: Unknown
Why is that Barry? Do you not trust yourself around me? I wonder why that is??
Her words ate away at me but I refuse to give her the pleasure of knowing they did. I grabbed my coat from the back and looked at the clock before I sent her another message.
To: Unknown
It would be in your best interest not to taunt me today Tamsin. I’m not in the mood for your bullshit! Either come inside or fuck off!
I could see the doors open on the aerial camera in the break room as Tamsin walked into the bar. She stopped Louis from helping a customer to presumably ask for me and from what I could see, he motioned her towards the back of the bar where I was. Before Tamsin made her way to me I opened up the text from Reagan and wished that in that moment that I hadn’t
From: Glasses
I’ll be home for two more weeks than expected. I miss and love you so much Harry. Call me when you can.xx
To: Harry Pleassssse?!
I was jealous and I’m sorry for that. I hate being away from you and the fact that she or anyone else for that matter gets to be there with you makes me crazy! Are you sure you’re okay?
I got out of the car after sending the message and walked with a bit more purpose into Dr. Stone’s office than I did on my first visit, even if it was because of a possible false hope that I had. When my name was called my palms immediately started to sweat. Dr. Stone sat in the chair across from me and smiled and even though I felt slightly uneasy, I smiled back at her, well enough to make it seem as if it was genuine.
“How are you today Reagan? Your ora today seems more open.”
“It is. I am. I’m good today.” I smiled again hoping that Dr. Stone wouldn't see my anxiousness.
“Thats good Reagan, very good. Did you–”
“I did my assignment.” I cut her off and as soon as I did, my cheeks reddened. I could feel the blush spread all the way down to my neck as an awkward feeling covered me like a sheet.
“You did? How did you feel afterwards and how do you feel about it now?” Can this session get anymore unrefined and mostly uncomfortable?
I shifted in my seat and became very interested in the coral coloring of my toenail polish before I answered the questions Dr. Stone had presented me with.
“Um, yeah I did...I felt fine afterwards and I feel fine about it now. Does that count as some type of breakthrough? Do I still need to come here and talk?” I looked her square in the eye answering her questions trying to be as assertive as possible, though I’m sure that my my entire body was consumed by a blush.
“You’re not being held here Reagan. It’s not mandatory that you stay, but I assure you that problems such as yours don’t just go away overnight and that one session has hardly changed anything. Dr. Koch also told me that your coming back to work for him depends solely on my professional opinion and unfortunately in my opinion, you’re still not ready.”
Problems such as mine. The statement repeated in my head. I know that I’m not over this, but right now the only problem that I have is not being where I feel that I need to be.I should have known that Dr. Koch had his overly controlling hand in this. It’s probably the reason that he sent me to another one of his ‘close associates’ instead of a doctor he wasn’t familiar with. I’m not required to stay, but at the same time my evil mastermind of a boss and professor made sure that I wasn’t able to leave freely either. Everything was on his terms and I have no choice other than to play by his rules. I nod my head at her and then cross my arms in my lap before I cross my legs, one over the other feeling more defeated than when I walked into her office.
“Not the news that you wanted to hear?”
I can feel my phone vibrate in my pocket before I shake my head no.
“I kind of knew the answer already…I was hoping that you would say that I could go back and that I was fine because I kind of had help with my, uh, my assignment, but hearing you say ‘problems such as mine’ puts a damper on things definitely.”
“Help in your assignment?”
Dr. Stone looked at me with questioning brown eyes and my own widened when I noticed that she wanted me to further elaborate. She put down her pen and stopped writing in my case file as she looked at me.
“I called my boyfriend and he...helped. Oh god, please don’t make me explain any more. You know what I mean, right?” This was somehow worse than talking to my mom about sex. I’ve always had trouble with the topic when speaking with people I didn’t know that well. As I think about the it, my lips curl into a small smile going against my feelings on the subject.
Remembering when Harry and I first brought up sex at Maudsley makes my heart beat quickly in my chest. If only I had known then what was in store for me now.
Dr. Stone’s lips turned up at the corners as well before she nodded her head slightly at my confession. She once again picked up her pen and began writing before addressing me any further.
“No no. No further elaboration is needed, but you didn’t tell me that at first. I would say that’s a step forward, but I still feel that you and I need to spend more time together.”
As she writes, I take out my phone to read the new message from H.
From: Harry Pleassssse?!
Its kind of sexy when you get jealous and to be honest it turns me on a bit but at the same time its annoying as fuck because I’ve told you before you have nothing to be jealous about! I’m fine. Didn’t realize what day it was...My mum’s kind of upset, but I’m fine. She’ll get over it.
I roll my eyes at Harry’s callous response. He still doesn’t feel any type a guilt in being the reason behind his mother’s delayed happiness and I hate it that he’s so relaxed with what he did.
“Is that him that you’re messaging?” Dr. Stone asked me causing me to put my phone in my lap and pay more attention to what’s going on in the room.
“It is… I’m sorry. What were you going to say?”
“I wasn’t going to say anything. Just that your entire face lit up when you were texting. You love him?”
I nodded my head yes as soon as the question escaped her lips, but I find it odd that the session had made a turn for my relationship with Harry more than any other topic that I’m sure could be discussed.
“And he loves you?” Dr. Stone interrupted my thoughts again.
“Yes, but what does this have to do with anything? Not to be rude, I just don’t understand where the line of questioning is coming from.”
Dr. Stone crossed her legs and put down my case file before she looked at me fixatedly. I could tell that she was deep in thought by the way that her eyebrows knotted. What ever would come out of her mouth next would be something detrimental to me and my time here, or at least I hoped it would be.
“Your relationship has a lot to do with the way that you handle what’s happened to you, Reagan. It can either be a great help or very hurtful. The fact that you’re still continuing in your relationship, is a big ordeal within itself because many don’t. If I’m not mistaken, you want to be finished with your sessions to get back to work, but most importantly back to him. Am I correct?”
I nod my head again in agreement as she reads me like an open book. Harry told me that he finds it uncomfortable when Dr. Baker looks into him so closely, but I for one find it refreshing to have someone to confide in without having to go too much into detail.
Dr. Stone looked at me again before biting her bottom lip.
“I would recommend that I see you in person for two more weeks three times a week,” My heart felt as if it would drop in my stomach at the thought of being away from H. for longer than I expected. I know its meant to help me, but right now it feels like another weight added on my back. “After that, if your progression continues, I’ll tell Dr. Koch to let you come back to work with my blessing and we can continue with skype sessions after that.”
I release the breath that I didn’t know was being held. I honestly don’t think that I can handle two more weeks of this. It’s nice being at home and if it were just time off I would look at the entire situation differently, but knowing that I didn’t come here to simply relax agitates my anxieties.
*Harry’s POV*
Work seemed to go by faster today than usual, and I can only assume it’s because I’m dreading what’s to come afterwards. The universe has a funny fucking way of getting back at me for the things I’ve done in the past whether they be in the form of nightmares, impending marriages or Tamsin. None of which I’m particularly happy about.
“You alright mate?” Zayn has been asking me the same question it seems since I’ve stepped foot in the damn bar.
“I’ll be fine if you stop asking me every five minutes, Zayn!” He puts his hands up in defense before he hops on top of the bar to comfortably talk to Perrie during his break. He bends down to give her a kiss and remove a strand of hair off of her face and I can’t help but scowl at the two of them. The bar is slow tonight so I don’t have much to distract me from the happy go lucky couple.
“Zayn get your ass off the bar top so I can wipe it down please? Hi Perrie.” She smiles and waves at me and I have to force myself to return the small gesture. My subconscious wants everyone to be as miserable as I am.
“The bar top is clean. You’ve wiped it down already.”
“Yeah but now your arse is on it so I’ve got to wipe it down again, just move!”
“Oi! Lighten the fuck up! You’ve been walking around here brooding all day.” Louis throws a dish rag at me and I catch it before it can hit me in the face. “Did you take your meds mate?”
“It has nothing to do with meds Lou and you know it.” Louis nods his head once in understanding before he claps me in between my shoulder blades.
“She’ll be back soon Harry and the lads and I will be there for your court date. Me dad will have the bar covered.”
I look over at Louis and thank him for both reassuring me about Reagan and for bringing up the court date that I had since put in the back of my mind. I chose to ignore the fact that he's obviously told the other lads about what's going on with me and Reagan. My stress level is high enough today as it is and according to Dr. Baker that's exactly what I don't need.
After I had finished wiping off the counter top for the third time in less than half an hour, I took out my phone to send Reagan a message only to see that I had already gotten one from her first. Before it could even be opened, another message rolled in making my annoyance spike. My shift was over and I hadn’t even noticed it.
From: Unknown
Im outside.
I saw no point in saving Tamsin’s number, every time it’s in my phone I only get into trouble.
To: Unknown
Then come in? I’m not getting in your car and you're not getting in mine. Whatever you need to say you need to say it in the open or forget having the conversation.
From: Unknown
Why is that Barry? Do you not trust yourself around me? I wonder why that is??
Her words ate away at me but I refuse to give her the pleasure of knowing they did. I grabbed my coat from the back and looked at the clock before I sent her another message.
To: Unknown
It would be in your best interest not to taunt me today Tamsin. I’m not in the mood for your bullshit! Either come inside or fuck off!
I could see the doors open on the aerial camera in the break room as Tamsin walked into the bar. She stopped Louis from helping a customer to presumably ask for me and from what I could see, he motioned her towards the back of the bar where I was. Before Tamsin made her way to me I opened up the text from Reagan and wished that in that moment that I hadn’t
From: Glasses
I’ll be home for two more weeks than expected. I miss and love you so much Harry. Call me when you can.xx
Notes
Hi loveesss first of all Sorry for the Late update, but I have a legit reason for it. This week and last week have been hell at school! My brain hurts! And AND I wrote this chapter twice and it got deleted both times!!! Third time is the charm! I'm sorry if there are typos I will fix them later but anywayyy What did you think? Poor HaRea :( I miss them together too guys :'( What do you think Tamsin wants to talk about? I assure you it's juicy ;} Please Leave me loads and loads of comments because I obviously live off of them and it would mean a lot to me because you guys are my inspiration! I'm literally so excited for the next chapter to come! It's writing itself in my head as I write this note!
THANK YOU ALL MAJORLY FOR THE VOTES and SUBS (ITP 1 IS ONE SUB AWAY FROM 100 ahhh!) KEEP THEM COMING PLEASE? THE LOVE YOU GUYS SHOW ME DEFINITELY DOESN'T GO UNNOTICED! I APPRECIATE IT SO MUCH!!! I LOVE YOU ALL FOR READING!!!
@XOXOH
Hi there lovely, I am a big fan of your books and you don't know how happy I am to see you back here. I LOVE THIS TRIOLOGY so dam much......so let me get this straight....you are not updating this story anymore on here? You are only going to continue this story on wattpad?? .....despite what decision you make I will be waiting for you because I want to know what will HAPPEN ....sorry I am weird xxx
8/22/15