It Takes Patience III: Stripped
Chapter 18: What's Left Unknown
*Harry’s POV*
I stood there for at least five minutes after she had left and everything around me seemed to move in slow motion. She’s gone. And even though the circumstances are much different than the first time, it doesn’t seem to dull the ache in my chest any less. I turn to leave when I remember that I didn’t drive myself here and staring at the doors won’t bring her back.
When I go outside, the day seems dull and I don’t really want to do much but sleep, surprisingly. I’ll deal with every nightmare and even force myself to sleep through them if it means that I can pass the days quicker , though I know that’s not humanly possible.
I don’t know exactly when she’ll be back.
The ticket I brought her was a one-way. There’s no set return date and that’s what puts me on edge the most. After talking to Laurie, she told me that Reagan could have to go to therapy and I of all people knows how that works and how long that could last for. Reagan didn’t see the ticket until I gave it to her just before she left and even then she didn’t really look at what she'd been handed, just took it in acceptance and defeat.
I know that Dr. Baker would have helped her without a problem and would have probably cut the costs of her hourly fee’s in half since Reagan did sort of work for her at one point and time, but she needed to leave and get a breath of fresh air away from London. It’s been nothing more than a parasite for her, slowly draining her of the energy and life that she once had and that I came to fall in love with.
It’s only been about fifteen minutes, and I’m already thinking like she’s been away for days. I sigh before I turn around to walk out of the airport. It's only been fifteen minutes and my anxieties are already telling me that this is one of the biggest mistakes that I've ever made. I try to put the negativity of the situation in the back of my mind, but it's the loudest thing in my head at the moment and it renders me unsuccessful in my efforts.
When I find Liam in the parking lot and get in the car, he and Sophia were being extremely flirty, holding hands and kissing. Its exactly what I don’t want to fucking see at the moment.
I put on my Ray Bans and my seat belt and try to keep from retching at the sight in front of me. It’s gross. Were Reagan and I that way? I know that I can be one for PDA sometimes but I highly doubt that we're as bad as them.
“Hey, hello back there?”
“What?!” I answer vehemently and full of envy.
“I said are we taking you home, or are you come out to eat breakfast with us? Niall might come with Laurie.” I furrow my brows at my invite to the obvious couples brunch.
“Great. So that way I can be a fucking fifth wheel. As if just watching the two of you snog isn’t awkward enough I can have a full on show of having Laurie and Niall grope each other in personal places!”
“So that’s a yes then.” Liam laughs at his unfunny joke and I fear that I might bite a hole through my tongue if I don’t get home to my aripiprazole soon. I don’t respond or crack a smile and Liam gets the hint that I’m in no mood to deal with his antics right now.
“Alright, alright I’ll take you home.” I nod my head as a gesture of thanks before he continues.
“You should really reconsider going to the party tonight Hazza. It might help take your mind off things.”
“Take my mind off what?” Am I really that obvious right now? I try my hardest to mask any weak emotion and not wear every feeling that comes on to me at once on my sleeve. I’ve put my sunglasses on to hide how traitorous my eyes have been lately. Usually the only one who can see through the façade and somehow sense everything that I feel is Reagan. Apparently I’m losing my touch.
“She’ll be back mate. You said yourself it’s just for her to see her family, a holiday.”
I don’t respond but look out the window instead and feel a thousand pounds lighter when Liam changes the subject.
“So the party then? The lads want you to come. You’ve kind of been a shut in these last few days with the exception of that one night when you-” I can feel my face contort with annoyance in myself and Liam's ability to remember things even after he's been pissed drunk. That night was a mistake and I don’t want to be reminded of it again.
“Okay Liam, I know,” I cut him off quickly before I rub my index finger and my thumb over my eyes with the sunglasses still on, “I’ll go if you'll all leave me alone afterwards. Just the party no pub crawls.” Liam grins and nods his head the way he does when he gets his way and my phone beeps in the seat beside me alerting me the way it does when I’ve missed a message.
*Reagan’s POV*
I woke up to the sound of the pilot giving California’s weather credential s at the moment. It was currently seventy-nine degrees and sunny at 2 o’clock in the afternoon. I tried to wrap my sleep filled mind around everything the pilot was saying just as we landed but it only made my head hurt worse than it already had been.
Once I had boarded the plane, the tears wouldn’t stop falling. It was so bad that it was to the point that the sweet older woman who sat next to me asked if I was afraid of flying. I usually don’t take pills from random strangers, but somehow I knew that when she offered me the valium that’s all it was. By the time I got off of the plane, my face was raw and I felt dried out. My body had expelled every last tear that it could and I wasn’t capable of shedding anymore. Now all I felt was tired and anxious.
I’ve yet to call Channel to let her know that I’ve landed in fear of how her voice would sound on the other end of it. I don’t want any more fuss or sympathy over the matter than I’ve already had over the last few days. As far as I see it, this is my vacation time and the speedier the recovery, the faster I can be there for Harry.
I got my things from baggage claim and as soon as I made it to the pickup area, I saw her. She slapped her hand over her mouth before she ran to me and enveloped me in a hug that I had returned. She was crying and even though I was undeniably happy to see her, no tears of joy came.
“Oh my God Rea-tard,” Channel brushed hair off of my face and then cupped it as if she were a mother giving her child a once over, “are you okay how are you? I’ve missed you so much!”
Channel talked a thousand words a minute and I could only laugh in response to her reaction to see me. The last time we talked, it felt as if we had to pull teeth to get a sentence out edgewise to each other and it had never been that way before. I was honestly afraid that I would lose my best friend. Seeing her now like this healthy and happy to see me brought a sense relief to me that I haven’t felt in a long time.
“I’m okay Nel,” I smiled and hugged her again before she grabbed my other roll along luggage to bring to the car, “I’m so happy to see you.” Channel laughed and then wiped the running mascara from under her eyes before she looked me up and down and laughed.
“Aww Rea-tard... you’re so pale.” We laughed again and I was eating up the lightness of the mood not wanting to go down the inevitable conversation path that I know that we'll eventually be headed for any time soon.
Channel started the car and let the sunroof down reminding me again of how I needed vitamin D before we pulled off, passing the same spot that we did on my last tragic visit home. Memories of that day flashed in my head and sent a chill down my spine before I forced myself to shake it off.
This time is different. I have to repeat it in my head as many times as possible.
Different doesn’t necessarily mean better. My focused subconscious kicked in with her snarky remarks. I almost say ‘shut the fuck up’ out loud, but because I don’t want to seem like I’ve lost my mind completely, I keep it to myself and chuckle once I realize who I remind myself of.
Channel and I catch up in a major way as we make our way towards home on the expressway. Even though I was silently dreading coming back, it feels extremely good to know that I am truly back home again. The car fills with music as jet lag slowly creeps up on me like a thief in the night. I only speak up again when I notice that Channel has passed the street that leads to my house.
“Where are we going?” I ask her with confusion clear in my voice.
I can see her glance over at me out of the side of her oversized sunglasses before she focuses on the road again.
“Um, just to my place for now.” She smiles at me but I can tell that something is up.
“Okay.” I speak slowly and she nods her head before she starts to sing along to the radio that blares in the car, making me laugh at her horrible singing voice.
When I change the station, I look at the time. It’s two forty-five here now meaning that it’s ten forty-five in London. The time zone shock makes me feel like I’ve traveled into the past, almost being able to restart my day entirely. My body however, has yet to receive that message. It’s past ten in London and my body still wishes to function as if that’s where I am. My mind runs wild with what I would be doing right now and I know that it would be something that involves having H. beside me.
I take out my phone to text him and let him know that I’ve landed safely before I begin to wonder what he’s doing and if right now he’s thinking about me as well.
*Harry’s POV*
We started drinking around seven o’clock and haven’t stopped since. I told them that I only wanted to have one shot, but one quickly turned into seven shots three beers and a random glass of wine. All of them are bad influences and they all put me up to it.
My vision is blurred beyond belief and as I step outside of the party, I start to wonder how the hell I got out here in the first place. Various people litter the yard and I try to find a familiar face, but the harder I squint, the more everyone starts to look exactly the same. I take a seat on the steps of the back patio to try to stop my head from spinning, but I think sitting is only making it worse.
“You alright mate?” I look up and block my hand over my eyes out of the patio light to see who it is I’m speaking to. Zayn sits down next to me making it easier and I nod my head slowly, grinning and then frowning as the dizzy spell gets worse.
“Where’s Niall? Wanna go home.” My words run together as I try to swallow down the feeling of bitter liquid filling my mouth.
Zayn laughs at my overly drunk state and I feel my phone vibrate against my leg. I move my hand towards my pocket, but stop when I forget what I was going to go in it for.
“Niall and Laurie left a bit ago to-“ I cut him off waving my hand in the air already knowing what he was alluding to even in the mindset I’m in. They’re still in the honeymoon stage of their relationship and all they do is shag.
“Fuck, I miss shagging. I miss her.” Zayn laughs at my outburst before he continues.
“Oh Christ, It’s only been a day mate. A few hours. Reagan will be back soon,” I scoff and nod my head sarcastically. If only he knew what was really going on, “If you’re ready to go, I can take you home, or your sister can. She’s here. That’s what I was I really coming out here to tell you.”
My eyes pop in my head and almost as if on cue, Gemma walks outside with her boyfriend in hand. In my drunken stupor, I can faintly make out the figure behind them to be none other than Tamsin.
I stood there for at least five minutes after she had left and everything around me seemed to move in slow motion. She’s gone. And even though the circumstances are much different than the first time, it doesn’t seem to dull the ache in my chest any less. I turn to leave when I remember that I didn’t drive myself here and staring at the doors won’t bring her back.
When I go outside, the day seems dull and I don’t really want to do much but sleep, surprisingly. I’ll deal with every nightmare and even force myself to sleep through them if it means that I can pass the days quicker , though I know that’s not humanly possible.
I don’t know exactly when she’ll be back.
The ticket I brought her was a one-way. There’s no set return date and that’s what puts me on edge the most. After talking to Laurie, she told me that Reagan could have to go to therapy and I of all people knows how that works and how long that could last for. Reagan didn’t see the ticket until I gave it to her just before she left and even then she didn’t really look at what she'd been handed, just took it in acceptance and defeat.
I know that Dr. Baker would have helped her without a problem and would have probably cut the costs of her hourly fee’s in half since Reagan did sort of work for her at one point and time, but she needed to leave and get a breath of fresh air away from London. It’s been nothing more than a parasite for her, slowly draining her of the energy and life that she once had and that I came to fall in love with.
It’s only been about fifteen minutes, and I’m already thinking like she’s been away for days. I sigh before I turn around to walk out of the airport. It's only been fifteen minutes and my anxieties are already telling me that this is one of the biggest mistakes that I've ever made. I try to put the negativity of the situation in the back of my mind, but it's the loudest thing in my head at the moment and it renders me unsuccessful in my efforts.
When I find Liam in the parking lot and get in the car, he and Sophia were being extremely flirty, holding hands and kissing. Its exactly what I don’t want to fucking see at the moment.
I put on my Ray Bans and my seat belt and try to keep from retching at the sight in front of me. It’s gross. Were Reagan and I that way? I know that I can be one for PDA sometimes but I highly doubt that we're as bad as them.
“Hey, hello back there?”
“What?!” I answer vehemently and full of envy.
“I said are we taking you home, or are you come out to eat breakfast with us? Niall might come with Laurie.” I furrow my brows at my invite to the obvious couples brunch.
“Great. So that way I can be a fucking fifth wheel. As if just watching the two of you snog isn’t awkward enough I can have a full on show of having Laurie and Niall grope each other in personal places!”
“So that’s a yes then.” Liam laughs at his unfunny joke and I fear that I might bite a hole through my tongue if I don’t get home to my aripiprazole soon. I don’t respond or crack a smile and Liam gets the hint that I’m in no mood to deal with his antics right now.
“Alright, alright I’ll take you home.” I nod my head as a gesture of thanks before he continues.
“You should really reconsider going to the party tonight Hazza. It might help take your mind off things.”
“Take my mind off what?” Am I really that obvious right now? I try my hardest to mask any weak emotion and not wear every feeling that comes on to me at once on my sleeve. I’ve put my sunglasses on to hide how traitorous my eyes have been lately. Usually the only one who can see through the façade and somehow sense everything that I feel is Reagan. Apparently I’m losing my touch.
“She’ll be back mate. You said yourself it’s just for her to see her family, a holiday.”
I don’t respond but look out the window instead and feel a thousand pounds lighter when Liam changes the subject.
“So the party then? The lads want you to come. You’ve kind of been a shut in these last few days with the exception of that one night when you-” I can feel my face contort with annoyance in myself and Liam's ability to remember things even after he's been pissed drunk. That night was a mistake and I don’t want to be reminded of it again.
“Okay Liam, I know,” I cut him off quickly before I rub my index finger and my thumb over my eyes with the sunglasses still on, “I’ll go if you'll all leave me alone afterwards. Just the party no pub crawls.” Liam grins and nods his head the way he does when he gets his way and my phone beeps in the seat beside me alerting me the way it does when I’ve missed a message.
*Reagan’s POV*
I woke up to the sound of the pilot giving California’s weather credential s at the moment. It was currently seventy-nine degrees and sunny at 2 o’clock in the afternoon. I tried to wrap my sleep filled mind around everything the pilot was saying just as we landed but it only made my head hurt worse than it already had been.
Once I had boarded the plane, the tears wouldn’t stop falling. It was so bad that it was to the point that the sweet older woman who sat next to me asked if I was afraid of flying. I usually don’t take pills from random strangers, but somehow I knew that when she offered me the valium that’s all it was. By the time I got off of the plane, my face was raw and I felt dried out. My body had expelled every last tear that it could and I wasn’t capable of shedding anymore. Now all I felt was tired and anxious.
I’ve yet to call Channel to let her know that I’ve landed in fear of how her voice would sound on the other end of it. I don’t want any more fuss or sympathy over the matter than I’ve already had over the last few days. As far as I see it, this is my vacation time and the speedier the recovery, the faster I can be there for Harry.
I got my things from baggage claim and as soon as I made it to the pickup area, I saw her. She slapped her hand over her mouth before she ran to me and enveloped me in a hug that I had returned. She was crying and even though I was undeniably happy to see her, no tears of joy came.
“Oh my God Rea-tard,” Channel brushed hair off of my face and then cupped it as if she were a mother giving her child a once over, “are you okay how are you? I’ve missed you so much!”
Channel talked a thousand words a minute and I could only laugh in response to her reaction to see me. The last time we talked, it felt as if we had to pull teeth to get a sentence out edgewise to each other and it had never been that way before. I was honestly afraid that I would lose my best friend. Seeing her now like this healthy and happy to see me brought a sense relief to me that I haven’t felt in a long time.
“I’m okay Nel,” I smiled and hugged her again before she grabbed my other roll along luggage to bring to the car, “I’m so happy to see you.” Channel laughed and then wiped the running mascara from under her eyes before she looked me up and down and laughed.
“Aww Rea-tard... you’re so pale.” We laughed again and I was eating up the lightness of the mood not wanting to go down the inevitable conversation path that I know that we'll eventually be headed for any time soon.
Channel started the car and let the sunroof down reminding me again of how I needed vitamin D before we pulled off, passing the same spot that we did on my last tragic visit home. Memories of that day flashed in my head and sent a chill down my spine before I forced myself to shake it off.
This time is different. I have to repeat it in my head as many times as possible.
Different doesn’t necessarily mean better. My focused subconscious kicked in with her snarky remarks. I almost say ‘shut the fuck up’ out loud, but because I don’t want to seem like I’ve lost my mind completely, I keep it to myself and chuckle once I realize who I remind myself of.
Channel and I catch up in a major way as we make our way towards home on the expressway. Even though I was silently dreading coming back, it feels extremely good to know that I am truly back home again. The car fills with music as jet lag slowly creeps up on me like a thief in the night. I only speak up again when I notice that Channel has passed the street that leads to my house.
“Where are we going?” I ask her with confusion clear in my voice.
I can see her glance over at me out of the side of her oversized sunglasses before she focuses on the road again.
“Um, just to my place for now.” She smiles at me but I can tell that something is up.
“Okay.” I speak slowly and she nods her head before she starts to sing along to the radio that blares in the car, making me laugh at her horrible singing voice.
When I change the station, I look at the time. It’s two forty-five here now meaning that it’s ten forty-five in London. The time zone shock makes me feel like I’ve traveled into the past, almost being able to restart my day entirely. My body however, has yet to receive that message. It’s past ten in London and my body still wishes to function as if that’s where I am. My mind runs wild with what I would be doing right now and I know that it would be something that involves having H. beside me.
I take out my phone to text him and let him know that I’ve landed safely before I begin to wonder what he’s doing and if right now he’s thinking about me as well.
*Harry’s POV*
We started drinking around seven o’clock and haven’t stopped since. I told them that I only wanted to have one shot, but one quickly turned into seven shots three beers and a random glass of wine. All of them are bad influences and they all put me up to it.
My vision is blurred beyond belief and as I step outside of the party, I start to wonder how the hell I got out here in the first place. Various people litter the yard and I try to find a familiar face, but the harder I squint, the more everyone starts to look exactly the same. I take a seat on the steps of the back patio to try to stop my head from spinning, but I think sitting is only making it worse.
“You alright mate?” I look up and block my hand over my eyes out of the patio light to see who it is I’m speaking to. Zayn sits down next to me making it easier and I nod my head slowly, grinning and then frowning as the dizzy spell gets worse.
“Where’s Niall? Wanna go home.” My words run together as I try to swallow down the feeling of bitter liquid filling my mouth.
Zayn laughs at my overly drunk state and I feel my phone vibrate against my leg. I move my hand towards my pocket, but stop when I forget what I was going to go in it for.
“Niall and Laurie left a bit ago to-“ I cut him off waving my hand in the air already knowing what he was alluding to even in the mindset I’m in. They’re still in the honeymoon stage of their relationship and all they do is shag.
“Fuck, I miss shagging. I miss her.” Zayn laughs at my outburst before he continues.
“Oh Christ, It’s only been a day mate. A few hours. Reagan will be back soon,” I scoff and nod my head sarcastically. If only he knew what was really going on, “If you’re ready to go, I can take you home, or your sister can. She’s here. That’s what I was I really coming out here to tell you.”
My eyes pop in my head and almost as if on cue, Gemma walks outside with her boyfriend in hand. In my drunken stupor, I can faintly make out the figure behind them to be none other than Tamsin.
Notes
Hello Beuties!!! Sorry the update is so late, but I've been a very busy girl today and I kind of rewrote this chapter twice aha! I will only post the best for you all! Before I begin, Let me Tell you that I'm super excited again because I just found out that this story has made it to the popular pages along with the First ITP YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST EVER!!!! Thank you so much! But what did you all think of this chapter :( and how will you think that Reagan will react when she finds out about the one way trip home? What do you think will unfold next? ;] I cant wait to post again for you all! I see I drew some emotions with the last chapter lol I love when you all let me know that you're emotionally invested in something that I put out! (It's literally like the best feeling ever!) Hopefully I can keep up this streak I have of posting every day for a while!! As always, I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH IT HURTS IN MY BODY! Xx
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Hi there lovely, I am a big fan of your books and you don't know how happy I am to see you back here. I LOVE THIS TRIOLOGY so dam much......so let me get this straight....you are not updating this story anymore on here? You are only going to continue this story on wattpad?? .....despite what decision you make I will be waiting for you because I want to know what will HAPPEN ....sorry I am weird xxx
8/22/15