BROKEN
Chapter 16 Part 1- The Loop
Alexandra POV-
The car had come to a complete halt, indicating we arrived at our destination. I sighed in relief, hoping to just get some nice, cool, fresh air. It seemed like we were trapped in this stuffy car for ages, when really it was only like 45 minutes. But on top of that, there weren’t enough seats, which left me stuck sitting on Niall’s lap, his hands tightly wrapped around my waist.
This technically wasn’t a problem. But it was sufficiently awkward. The boys kept staring and whistling at us as if it was such a big deal.
When in reality, it was not.
In addition, I knew I was way too heavy for his body to handle, but was grateful he didn’t say any sly remarks about my weight. Clearly, it was obvious I was crushing his legs. Poor guy. I bet he wants to hop out of this vehicle just as quickly as I do.
Finally. The driver had stepped out of his seat and scurried over to our side of the car, opening the door politely for us all. I flashed an appreciative smile and flew off Niall’s lap, landing promptly onto the paved sidewalk. I wobbled slightly, but adjusted my position before I toppled over. Shockingly, I didn’t fall.
Once everyone piled out, the six of us were gathered together. Looking up for the first time, there was a large queue of people waiting to enter the busy club. I huffed, agitated that we would have to wait in such a long line. We would be standing outside for hours, not to mention how chilly it was out here. Mentally, I was slapping myself for not dressing warmer for the occasion. I should’ve known that if we were going to one of the best nightclubs in London, there would be a painfully long wait beforehand.
Dragging my legs past the crowd of slutty girls and drunken boys, I was making my way towards the end of the line, which was pretty damn far. It was almost a block stretched. Plainly, I assumed everyone had followed suit, but after a couple steps, a pair of hands gripped my open wrist while spinning me to face them. I was whirled around so quickly, I swear I almost had whiplash. But, once I blinked multiple times, my hazel eyes were mesmerized by a familiar pair of deep blue ones.
There was a long pause as we both kinda just stared at each other, confusion evident on both of our features.
“Where do you think your going, love?” Niall asked while smecking away as if this was some kind of joke.
My eyes shifted past him as I realized nobody had been trailing behind me. Scrunching my nose up, I was completely dumbfounded. I clearly remember all of us agreeing to go clubbing..so what the fuck are they all doing standing over there?
As I processed his jumble of words, I threw my hands up in exasperation.
“Going to the end of the line, what does it look like I’m doing!?”
Instantly, Niall bit down on his bottom lip attempting not to laugh, but failed miserably.
I groaned dramatically, snapping out of our stare down. I was not in the mood for his funny business.
& Since I didn’t understand what was so hilarious and because we were gonna lose the next spot in line, I flipped around on my heels, continuing to reach the end of the path.
The pitter patter of Niall’s Ramones sneakers hitting he pavement and the mixture of his obnoxious chuckles grew louder after every step I took. I didn’t get far until he had yanked my wrist again, a goofy smile still clear as can be.
“Follow me babe.”
I groaned, but allowed him to lead the way. Throwing his arms over my shoulders, we had retraced our footsteps, ending where we first began.
Niall’s arm dropped to my waist, as he ushered me over to the two burly men dressed in all black, guarding the door. I watched intently as Niall mumbled something in one of their ears, clearly amused as they let us walk in, cutting the entire line.
“Wow I’m impressed. How’d you do that?”
“One of the perks of being famous,” he winked as the other bouncer unhooked the red rope, allowing us to fully enter The Loop. (x) “Oh and the lads are already inside. They got us a table in the back.”
I nodded, feeling my heart beat quicken once the loud music began pumping through me. The bass echoed inside my head as I gathered my surroundings; there were people everywhere.
The smell of smoke, sweat, and whiskey filled my nostrils as I narrowed my eyes towards the crowd in the middle of the vibrant dance floor, dancing to the beat without a care in the world. Wow. I wish I could be that jaunty and self confident.
Pushing past the swarm of intoxicated teenagers, Niall was still leading us to our spot while I remained surveying the room. I couldn’t tell whether I was happy or not to be here, but its better than falling asleep in a public park again, right?
Ultimately, we had arrived and Niall gestured for me to slide into the faux leather booth and I did as requested. I scooted over so there was enough space for him and ended up next to Louis as well.
Leaning over, Louis was practically shouting in my ear, ” ARE YOU READY TO HAVE THE BEST NIGHT OF YOUR LIFE?!”
I shrugged, not believing that could ever be true. People always say that partying is so fun, but I don’t really see the point. I guess it’s too early to judge though, considering I’ve never been to a place like this. Nor have ever expected to go to one. But here I am… so, I might as well try to enjoy it.
Suddenly, cheers erupted from the table once Zayn came back with a tray of shots and drinks of all kinds. I may have never drank before, but I know alcohol when I see it. It’s not that I’m underage and legally can’t drink, I am nineteen. It’s just that I have never had the desire to shove such a toxic liquid down my throat and I’m not gonna start now.
I’ve had some terrible memories involving people being drunk, not only from Jake. Those past events have scarred me and on top of that, I don’t want to do anything I’ll regret.
“Here ya go, Alexandra.”
I glanced over to see Louis handing me a bright green shot glass, filled to the brim. I shook my head, pushing the tiny cup away from my view. Furrowing his eyebrows, he had a baffled look on his face, as if I had just punched square in the nose.
“Nah, I think I’m gonna pass,” I muttered, partially embarrassed.
“WHY!?” Louis whined, pouting like a baby.
“Um..erm…I forgot to bring money? I don’t want you to pay for my drinks,” I lied terribly.
“Don’t worry about it! They practically give it to us for free!”
“Well..somebody has to watch you guys and make sure nothing bad happens!” I managed to lie again, trying to come up with every excuse.
“That’s why we have Liam babe!”
“He doesn’t drink?” I questioned, now fully interested in our conversation.
“No way! He only has one kidney so he has to be careful!”
I brought my palm up to my face, slapping it in frustration. There was absolutely now way they were going to let me order a Coke or any type of soda by the looks of Louis’ persistence.
But before either of us could manage to retort back at each other, Niall piped in. He brought his warm lips close to my ear, obviously not wanting anyone to hear what he was about to say.
“Love, I suggest you take that unless you wanna be stuck with Liam for the night,” he sniggered.
I groaned, punching him slightly. He was the only one who knew about the silent treatment I was giving Mr.Payne and I knew he wasn’t kidding when he said I would be stuck with him if I didn’t do as told.
“But-“
“Babe, I promise I’ll watch over you and make sure your okay.”
He seemed so sincere and reassuring, yet I was still scared out of my mind. How do I tell him I’ve been sober for my entire life?
19 WHOLE YEARS.
“But Niall-“
“But what? C’mon love, you’ll have a great time,” he insisted, while kissing my cheek afterwards, lingering much longer than he should have.
I glared over at him while he picked up the green shot glass once again, taunting me.
Its just one shot.
Just one.
How bad can that be?
“Fine,” I mumbled.
Everyone must’ve been paying attention to our little discussion cause after I gave in, the five boys bursts into a fit of ‘hoorays!’ I let out a sham laugh as we all extended our arms to the middle of the table, a glass in each hand. Once they all clinked together Louis announced, “Cheers to another unforgettable night!”
And unforgettable it was.
The burning sensation had finally left my throat, leaving a horrid after taste. I was barely able to hold myself back from throwing up in repulsion.
“Wanna go sit at the bar?” Niall asked, already slurring a bit-which didn’t go unnoticed by me.
Not seeing why that could be an issue, I nodded as he reached for my hand. Everyone else had gone their separate ways, only Liam and Zayn were left sitting in the back.
Arriving at the bar, I hopped up on the stool. Niall waved over the bartender while the sound of Pursuit of Happiness, by Kid Cudi was echoing in the background. (x)
“Would you care for another drink?” Niall asked, rubbing my thigh as he sat down.
It was like I was under a trance that I couldn’t pull myself out of. Anything Niall wanted from me, I felt obliged to do. He’s been so helpful and caring towards me when nobody else has been. I felt the need to repay him and every time he touched me I’d get this weird tingly feeling.
I already took one shot.
How bad can two be?
Just two.
Just for Niall.
“Sure,” I nodded, grinning like a fool beside him. He just had such a strange effect on me- Like I was casted under some weird ass spell.
I blame magic.
Or peer pressure.
Either one works.
After ordering, the bartender placed our drinks on the counter, sending me a flirtatious wink as he did so. I couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable; he looked like he was 40 years old. #creeperalert
Without hesitation, I poured the straight vodka down my mouth entirely. I might as well get it over with. Coughing afterwards in disgust, I watched Niall repeat my movements, although the taste didn’t seem to faze him. He looked like he was just drinking a cup of water if I didn’t know any better.
“How did you do that?” I asked, bewildered.
“Do what?” He chuckled, as he set the shot glass back down.
“How do you take a shot and not have any sort of reaction!?”
“It’s in my Irish blood,” he laughed, while throwing a few coins into the tip jar.
“Excuse me, I have to use the lou,” he blushed, nodding towards the restroom. I responded with a simple ‘okay’ as he began to drift away in the darkness,
Once he was out of sight, I smiled to myself. This night hasn’t been that bad. Turning around on my stool, I rested my head in my hand as I watched the crowd on the dance floor. My eyes wandered from person to person as I giggled to myself when I saw Louis standing on top of a table, holding a bottle of beer and singing with it as if it was a microphone.
I could easily see all the phones and video cameras out, directed perfectly towards him. Oh boy, this will be all over YouTube by tomorrow.
Chuckling, I drifted my view over to this boy and girl grinding against each other whilst making out sloppily on the light up dance floor. His hands were all over this blonde sluts body as her fingers were toying with his straight brown hair, messing it up completely. Her skin tight, sparkly, pink strapless dress was riding up and you could clearly see she wasn’t wearing anything underneath. Ew, I just puked in my mouth a little.
I would’ve turned my gaze back to singing Louis, but I had this urge to keep watching. Their bodies were so close that it looked like they were practically fucking in the center of club, their crotches firmly against one another. Ew. Just stop looking. Just stop looking. Just stop look-
Is that?
No. It can’t be.
But it was.
My stomach dropped and I felt like my heart was just thrown out a window, falling down a fifty-story building. It was destroyed in a matter of seconds.
But, is it possible for a heart so broken, to get even more damaged?
Feeling dizzy and lightheaded, my eyes began to water. Holding back the urge to sob in front of so many bystanders, I shook my head repeatedly. Blinking repetitively, I just wanted this painful feeling to go away.
Tears were brimming my eyes and I immediately wiped them away in fear of smudging my makeup.
Why was Jake here?
Why was he with making out with that thing?
The room began to spin and I couldn’t control the red, hot anger boiling inside me. I wasn’t sure whether I should be furious, upset or concerned, but all I knew was that my mind was whirling with questions.
Questions I refused to find out the answer to.
I needed a quick escape and did the first thing I could think of.
“Excuse me, could I have five shots of vodka please?”
And from there, the night continued to grow worse.
The car had come to a complete halt, indicating we arrived at our destination. I sighed in relief, hoping to just get some nice, cool, fresh air. It seemed like we were trapped in this stuffy car for ages, when really it was only like 45 minutes. But on top of that, there weren’t enough seats, which left me stuck sitting on Niall’s lap, his hands tightly wrapped around my waist.
This technically wasn’t a problem. But it was sufficiently awkward. The boys kept staring and whistling at us as if it was such a big deal.
When in reality, it was not.
In addition, I knew I was way too heavy for his body to handle, but was grateful he didn’t say any sly remarks about my weight. Clearly, it was obvious I was crushing his legs. Poor guy. I bet he wants to hop out of this vehicle just as quickly as I do.
Finally. The driver had stepped out of his seat and scurried over to our side of the car, opening the door politely for us all. I flashed an appreciative smile and flew off Niall’s lap, landing promptly onto the paved sidewalk. I wobbled slightly, but adjusted my position before I toppled over. Shockingly, I didn’t fall.
Once everyone piled out, the six of us were gathered together. Looking up for the first time, there was a large queue of people waiting to enter the busy club. I huffed, agitated that we would have to wait in such a long line. We would be standing outside for hours, not to mention how chilly it was out here. Mentally, I was slapping myself for not dressing warmer for the occasion. I should’ve known that if we were going to one of the best nightclubs in London, there would be a painfully long wait beforehand.
Dragging my legs past the crowd of slutty girls and drunken boys, I was making my way towards the end of the line, which was pretty damn far. It was almost a block stretched. Plainly, I assumed everyone had followed suit, but after a couple steps, a pair of hands gripped my open wrist while spinning me to face them. I was whirled around so quickly, I swear I almost had whiplash. But, once I blinked multiple times, my hazel eyes were mesmerized by a familiar pair of deep blue ones.
There was a long pause as we both kinda just stared at each other, confusion evident on both of our features.
“Where do you think your going, love?” Niall asked while smecking away as if this was some kind of joke.
My eyes shifted past him as I realized nobody had been trailing behind me. Scrunching my nose up, I was completely dumbfounded. I clearly remember all of us agreeing to go clubbing..so what the fuck are they all doing standing over there?
As I processed his jumble of words, I threw my hands up in exasperation.
“Going to the end of the line, what does it look like I’m doing!?”
Instantly, Niall bit down on his bottom lip attempting not to laugh, but failed miserably.
I groaned dramatically, snapping out of our stare down. I was not in the mood for his funny business.
& Since I didn’t understand what was so hilarious and because we were gonna lose the next spot in line, I flipped around on my heels, continuing to reach the end of the path.
The pitter patter of Niall’s Ramones sneakers hitting he pavement and the mixture of his obnoxious chuckles grew louder after every step I took. I didn’t get far until he had yanked my wrist again, a goofy smile still clear as can be.
“Follow me babe.”
I groaned, but allowed him to lead the way. Throwing his arms over my shoulders, we had retraced our footsteps, ending where we first began.
Niall’s arm dropped to my waist, as he ushered me over to the two burly men dressed in all black, guarding the door. I watched intently as Niall mumbled something in one of their ears, clearly amused as they let us walk in, cutting the entire line.
“Wow I’m impressed. How’d you do that?”
“One of the perks of being famous,” he winked as the other bouncer unhooked the red rope, allowing us to fully enter The Loop. (x) “Oh and the lads are already inside. They got us a table in the back.”
I nodded, feeling my heart beat quicken once the loud music began pumping through me. The bass echoed inside my head as I gathered my surroundings; there were people everywhere.
The smell of smoke, sweat, and whiskey filled my nostrils as I narrowed my eyes towards the crowd in the middle of the vibrant dance floor, dancing to the beat without a care in the world. Wow. I wish I could be that jaunty and self confident.
Pushing past the swarm of intoxicated teenagers, Niall was still leading us to our spot while I remained surveying the room. I couldn’t tell whether I was happy or not to be here, but its better than falling asleep in a public park again, right?
Ultimately, we had arrived and Niall gestured for me to slide into the faux leather booth and I did as requested. I scooted over so there was enough space for him and ended up next to Louis as well.
Leaning over, Louis was practically shouting in my ear, ” ARE YOU READY TO HAVE THE BEST NIGHT OF YOUR LIFE?!”
I shrugged, not believing that could ever be true. People always say that partying is so fun, but I don’t really see the point. I guess it’s too early to judge though, considering I’ve never been to a place like this. Nor have ever expected to go to one. But here I am… so, I might as well try to enjoy it.
Suddenly, cheers erupted from the table once Zayn came back with a tray of shots and drinks of all kinds. I may have never drank before, but I know alcohol when I see it. It’s not that I’m underage and legally can’t drink, I am nineteen. It’s just that I have never had the desire to shove such a toxic liquid down my throat and I’m not gonna start now.
I’ve had some terrible memories involving people being drunk, not only from Jake. Those past events have scarred me and on top of that, I don’t want to do anything I’ll regret.
“Here ya go, Alexandra.”
I glanced over to see Louis handing me a bright green shot glass, filled to the brim. I shook my head, pushing the tiny cup away from my view. Furrowing his eyebrows, he had a baffled look on his face, as if I had just punched square in the nose.
“Nah, I think I’m gonna pass,” I muttered, partially embarrassed.
“WHY!?” Louis whined, pouting like a baby.
“Um..erm…I forgot to bring money? I don’t want you to pay for my drinks,” I lied terribly.
“Don’t worry about it! They practically give it to us for free!”
“Well..somebody has to watch you guys and make sure nothing bad happens!” I managed to lie again, trying to come up with every excuse.
“That’s why we have Liam babe!”
“He doesn’t drink?” I questioned, now fully interested in our conversation.
“No way! He only has one kidney so he has to be careful!”
I brought my palm up to my face, slapping it in frustration. There was absolutely now way they were going to let me order a Coke or any type of soda by the looks of Louis’ persistence.
But before either of us could manage to retort back at each other, Niall piped in. He brought his warm lips close to my ear, obviously not wanting anyone to hear what he was about to say.
“Love, I suggest you take that unless you wanna be stuck with Liam for the night,” he sniggered.
I groaned, punching him slightly. He was the only one who knew about the silent treatment I was giving Mr.Payne and I knew he wasn’t kidding when he said I would be stuck with him if I didn’t do as told.
“But-“
“Babe, I promise I’ll watch over you and make sure your okay.”
He seemed so sincere and reassuring, yet I was still scared out of my mind. How do I tell him I’ve been sober for my entire life?
19 WHOLE YEARS.
“But Niall-“
“But what? C’mon love, you’ll have a great time,” he insisted, while kissing my cheek afterwards, lingering much longer than he should have.
I glared over at him while he picked up the green shot glass once again, taunting me.
Its just one shot.
Just one.
How bad can that be?
“Fine,” I mumbled.
Everyone must’ve been paying attention to our little discussion cause after I gave in, the five boys bursts into a fit of ‘hoorays!’ I let out a sham laugh as we all extended our arms to the middle of the table, a glass in each hand. Once they all clinked together Louis announced, “Cheers to another unforgettable night!”
And unforgettable it was.
The burning sensation had finally left my throat, leaving a horrid after taste. I was barely able to hold myself back from throwing up in repulsion.
“Wanna go sit at the bar?” Niall asked, already slurring a bit-which didn’t go unnoticed by me.
Not seeing why that could be an issue, I nodded as he reached for my hand. Everyone else had gone their separate ways, only Liam and Zayn were left sitting in the back.
Arriving at the bar, I hopped up on the stool. Niall waved over the bartender while the sound of Pursuit of Happiness, by Kid Cudi was echoing in the background. (x)
“Would you care for another drink?” Niall asked, rubbing my thigh as he sat down.
It was like I was under a trance that I couldn’t pull myself out of. Anything Niall wanted from me, I felt obliged to do. He’s been so helpful and caring towards me when nobody else has been. I felt the need to repay him and every time he touched me I’d get this weird tingly feeling.
I already took one shot.
How bad can two be?
Just two.
Just for Niall.
“Sure,” I nodded, grinning like a fool beside him. He just had such a strange effect on me- Like I was casted under some weird ass spell.
I blame magic.
Or peer pressure.
Either one works.
After ordering, the bartender placed our drinks on the counter, sending me a flirtatious wink as he did so. I couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable; he looked like he was 40 years old. #creeperalert
Without hesitation, I poured the straight vodka down my mouth entirely. I might as well get it over with. Coughing afterwards in disgust, I watched Niall repeat my movements, although the taste didn’t seem to faze him. He looked like he was just drinking a cup of water if I didn’t know any better.
“How did you do that?” I asked, bewildered.
“Do what?” He chuckled, as he set the shot glass back down.
“How do you take a shot and not have any sort of reaction!?”
“It’s in my Irish blood,” he laughed, while throwing a few coins into the tip jar.
“Excuse me, I have to use the lou,” he blushed, nodding towards the restroom. I responded with a simple ‘okay’ as he began to drift away in the darkness,
Once he was out of sight, I smiled to myself. This night hasn’t been that bad. Turning around on my stool, I rested my head in my hand as I watched the crowd on the dance floor. My eyes wandered from person to person as I giggled to myself when I saw Louis standing on top of a table, holding a bottle of beer and singing with it as if it was a microphone.
I could easily see all the phones and video cameras out, directed perfectly towards him. Oh boy, this will be all over YouTube by tomorrow.
Chuckling, I drifted my view over to this boy and girl grinding against each other whilst making out sloppily on the light up dance floor. His hands were all over this blonde sluts body as her fingers were toying with his straight brown hair, messing it up completely. Her skin tight, sparkly, pink strapless dress was riding up and you could clearly see she wasn’t wearing anything underneath. Ew, I just puked in my mouth a little.
I would’ve turned my gaze back to singing Louis, but I had this urge to keep watching. Their bodies were so close that it looked like they were practically fucking in the center of club, their crotches firmly against one another. Ew. Just stop looking. Just stop looking. Just stop look-
Is that?
No. It can’t be.
But it was.
My stomach dropped and I felt like my heart was just thrown out a window, falling down a fifty-story building. It was destroyed in a matter of seconds.
But, is it possible for a heart so broken, to get even more damaged?
Feeling dizzy and lightheaded, my eyes began to water. Holding back the urge to sob in front of so many bystanders, I shook my head repeatedly. Blinking repetitively, I just wanted this painful feeling to go away.
Tears were brimming my eyes and I immediately wiped them away in fear of smudging my makeup.
Why was Jake here?
Why was he with making out with that thing?
The room began to spin and I couldn’t control the red, hot anger boiling inside me. I wasn’t sure whether I should be furious, upset or concerned, but all I knew was that my mind was whirling with questions.
Questions I refused to find out the answer to.
I needed a quick escape and did the first thing I could think of.
“Excuse me, could I have five shots of vodka please?”
And from there, the night continued to grow worse.
Notes
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10/14/13