BROKEN
Chapter 12- Run
Alexandra POV:
I awoke to the sound of the ending credits and Niall and Liam’s muffled voices in the background.
When did I even fall asleep?
Sometime during the movie I guess?
Oh well.
My eyes felt so heavy, I couldn’t even apply enough force for them to open. Oddly enough, my body wouldn’t move either. Not one bit. It was like my mind was awake, but everything else was still sleeping.
Sleep paralysis.
I took in a deep breath as I let my brain focus on what was going on around me. At this point, I decided upon keeping my eyes clamped shut.
“Should I wake her up?” someone asked in a hushed tone. I could easily identify that distinct Irish accent anywhere- Niall.
“I don’t know lad, she looks pretty comfortable cuddling with you.”
I was 99% certain that was coming from Zayn, but I was too busy focusing on the eerie eight letter word he
had just said.
Cuddling.
I can’t even bring myself to say that term. Or even think it. Bleh.
I’m sure we weren’t even doing that, they must be over exaggerating.
I am not the ‘type’ who enjoys male affection nor attention. It’s so not my forte.
Here’s the thing:
I know how men are, unlike most girls. They are manipulative, immature, and so very conceited. If you haven’t learned this lesson now, you will some day. Trust me on this one.
Every male figure in my life HAS disappointed me. That’s what they were born to do. They were built up to let people down.
Yes, this includes my father and newly ex boyfriend as a perfect example.
A word of advice for any women out there: Don’t take any of their words for granted.
I’m saying this cause’ I comprehend how their brains are operated. I really do.
They enjoy the pleasure of watching the people (they claimed to ‘love’) fall apart. It’s almost amusing to
them.
What bugs me the most is how some asinine girls depend on men, like their the only thing that keeps them together.
The sad thing is, I used to be one of those girls. It’s true.
In my eyes, what’s worse is when youngsters crave attention from boys like their a drug or something.
Yep. I used to be like that too. Shocker right?
It’s like these idiotic females truly think their guy will stay with them through thick and thin. Sorry honey, that
aint gonna happen.
Likewise, it’s frankly disheartening to watch these innocent girls fall under their trap. Too bad they don’t know what’s coming.
Take this advice wisely from someone who’s been there from hell and back.
I mean, it’s only been one day since I broke free and now look at me, I’m a talking pole of wisdom.
Who knew I could be so philosophical?! Although, I feel like I’m kinda just lecturing myself.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not anti-male. No, no, no. I mean, we all gotta deal with them. They’re a part of
our everyday lives. The difference with me is that I don’t trust them or have any desire to have a ‘special lover’ in my life. From personal experience, I know what they are capable of.
I’m still trying to heal. All credits go to Jake.
But then why do I hate cuddling?
Simply because.
Snuggling up with a boy kinda makes you appear to look weak. As if you depend on the person next to you to stay there. Stay there forever.
In a way, it shows you can’t hold on without them. I don’t know.
All I do know is that I hate it.
Maybe its because me and Jake used to do that in the waaaay beginning of our relationship and now look how it turned out.
A mess.
All good things come to an end.
Which is why I don’t take things for granted. It’s pretty obvious that receiving affection from someone is everyone’s weak spot. It really is. So, I’d prefer just to receive no fondness whatsoever.
I’ll be friendly with guys, no doubt. I mean, I’m in a room with 5 boys aren’t I?
Truthfully, it’s already bad enough that I’m having such confusing feelings about Niall and Liam. Especially Niall….
I probably sound like such a pessimist right now, but its only because I prefer to stay independent. Even if I’m crumbling into millions of broken pieces on the inside, my outside deportment must always show I don’t need anyone for help.
Because I don’t. I’m capable of doing things on my own for now on.
But why? Cause I’m just so tired of everyone taking advantage of me. It’s been draining me out to the extent where I’m at a state of exhaustion from it all.
Now back to my inconsequential thoughts; I refuse to let people know how I’m actually feeling. It’s always best to stick with the ‘I’m fine’ or ‘ I’m just tired’ excuses. Not only is it much easier that way, it works out best for everyone.
Sure, I may keep things bottled up but I’m okay with that. I throw all my uncanny emotions capped inside a jar. Well, metaphorically speaking.
Shockingly, Liam was the first see me completely shattered, but lets not get into that.
By now, I’m sure he forgot all about that uncomfortable situation.
Hmpf. Okay, I don’t really even know where I’m going with my thoughts. Right now, I’m kinda just off in my own little world.
I guess one major drawback of mine is thinking tooo much.
I kinda just ramble on and on about nothing really important. Plus, half the time I don’t even make sense.
So, if you don’t fathom any of my sentiments, don’t worry. Most people don’t. But hey, I guess that’s why
everyone is so unique and different.
Now, pushing my babbling brain to rest, I put my ears to work.
“I know. I’d feel bad to wake her, like what if I disturb a dream she’s having?”
Hahaha funny. I’m actually awake. Too lazy to open my eyes, that’s all.
“Niall stop being such a wuss.”
“ Hey lads, I have an idea!” I heard Louis chime in.
“What!” multiple voices hollered in unison.
“We can draw on her face!”
……& now you can understand why I find boys so immature….
“I’ll go get a few markers! I call making the mustache!”
No.No.No. Don’t do that you idiot!
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea Lou.”
Yayyy! Niall to the rescue!
“…but it would be quite a laugh.”
Okay, screw you Nialler.
Suddenly, there was silence.
Perfecto. I’m taking this as my cue to wake up now. I’m soooo not giving these faggots the pleasure of
scribbling all over my face. They would ruin my makeup anyways. So hell nah.
Stifling a fake yawn, I fluttered my eyes open.
“Hey you, you’re up!” Niall cheered blissfully.
Rubbing my eyes, I let out a sigh, “Yeah I am, I don’t even remember falling asleep.”
“Love, you passed out during the first five minutes of the movie.” Harry said while adding in, “A really good
movie by the way, you missed out.”
I could feel my cheeks redden as I tried to cover them with my sleeves. Wow, what a great first impression.
Actually, more like second impression. But still, these guys probably find me so strange.
“Ha ha yeah, you were out like a light before the popcorn was ready!”
“Ni, why does everything you say have to revolve around food?”
“Hey! That’s not true!” he barked back. “I do love food though.”
“Me too” I grinned. Just the thought of some mac & cheese made my stomach grumble. Literally.
I guess the gastric noise was louder than I thought because all eyes turned to me. Shrugging slightly, the group of boys exploded into a fit of laughter.
“Hungry?” Niall asked in between a chuckle.
“Starving.” I admitted entirely.
Before any other words could be delivered, Louis rushed back into the room a little too excitedly with a fistful
of sharpies. “I got them!”
And in that moment, his orbs fell on mine as his smile faded into a childish frown. “Oh ratz, um never mind.”
From there, he stormed back out of the living room area.
Once he was out of sight, I realized Liam wasn’t gathered around us.
So, instead of making a sassy remark I decided to ignore Louis’ little display. Even though I knew exactly what those sharpies would’ve been used for, I let it slide.
“Hey, where’s Liam?” I asked.
“Talking to his girlfriend, Danielle” Zayn replied bluntly.
Oh. He never mentioned a girlfriend.
It’s not like I expected him to tell me that minor detail right?
Hmmm. More like major detail.
“Oh. Cool. ”
“ Yep he’s probably skyping her. Wait, do you want us to get you something to eat?
“ Well, I don’t wanna be a bother.”
“ Oh shush, your never a bother,” Niall said while nudging me a bit.
This time, I turned to face him and politely say ‘thanks,’ but something caught my attention.
I noticed we were cuddling…..
Aghh. I just wanted to jump out of his hold like he was some infectious disease. But no. That would be rude.
Plus, they’re making me some lunch, so why ruin the opportunity of a delicious meal?
Pshhh. We probably weren’t even cuddling. Even I’m over exaggerating.
But wait.
I hadn’t even spotted Niall’s arm cradling my torso while he stroked my back lightly in such an endearing
manner. His gentle touch felt so affectionate, making goose bumps roll up my spine. My head was partially nuzzled into his chest with no objection. It fit perfectly and well, felt nice. I was close enough to smell his alluring cologne. Not too much, not too little. Just the way I like it.
WHOAH, WAIT WHAT AM I THINKING?
Um. Maybe my empty stomach is what’s making these hallucinations occur. Or worse, it’s playing with my
mind, thus causing me to think bizarre thoughts.
“Amanda, I’m calling room service. What would you like babe?”
“Harry, my name is Alexandra. Nice try.”
“I’m still gonna call you Amanda” he said with a cheeky grin, revealing his shiny white teeth and dimples.
“Alright, I’ll just call you Henry for now on.”
“Kay babe, whatever floats your boat. Now what did you want again?”
“I want a cheeseburger, extra fries, and some chicken fingers!” Niall butted in.
“Mac and cheese please”
“Good thinking add that to my order! Mac with extra cheese puh-lease!”
“Jeez, how are you not fat?” I joked.
“I wonder the same question every day.” Zayn grumbled while scrolling through his phone aimlessly.
Harry and Niall didn’t hear his little comment, but I sure did. I compressed my lips together to hold back my embarrassing giggles.
“They said room service will be here in like 20 minutes tops,” Harry announced with a groan from Niall following afterwards.
“It’ll be here in a blink of an eye, I promise,” I tried to reassure him as I rubbed his arm. He seemed genuinely upset about the time we had to wait for lunch, so I attempted to at least make him feel a bit better.
And I did.
He smiled back at me causing his mood to quickly shift back to normal. His lips were parted to respond, but
were interrupted by Louis yet again.
“HONEY I’M HOME!”
Louis slammed the door shut and sprinted over towards us while plopping himself on the ground. I wonder where he went…
“Where’d you go?” I questioned, as if I didn’t know what he was planning to do earlier.
“I called up my lovely girlfriend to check in on her,” he said proudly.
Jeez..Are they all in relationships?
In response, Harry made kissy noises while Zayn and Niall whistled and obnoxiously whined “awwwwhhhhhh howwww cuttttteeeeee”
Once that died down, Zayn asked, “How’s she feeling?”
“Not better, she’s still pretty sick,” he said in an unhappily tone.
“What happened?” I asked, kinda curious and kinda just wanting to start conversation.
“She’s got the flu, I just wish I could see her. You know?” he said while reaching for the remote on the
coffee table.
No.. I don’t know…
Turning the TV on, the channel E appeared with five familiar boys faces planted on the screen.
“Hey, that’s us!” Harry cheered.
“The famous boy band, known as One Direction sold out their new album Take Me Home in under 10 minutes yesterday. It’s already number one on ITunes and their worldwide tour is coming up. Speaking of which, Harry, Zayn-”
I guess the expression on my face was pure horror because someone shut off the screen, leaving it blank
as I just stared endlessly at it.
What flashed before my eyes was disbelief and completely unexpected.
Famous?
Boyband?
One Direction?
“Alexandra, you okay?” Zayn asked worriedly.
I didn’t respond. I just sat there with my fingers trembling and my heart pace quickening.
“You guys didn’t tell me,” the words fell from my lips unexpectedly.
“Alexandra, we uh, we thought you knew,” Niall said. Reaching towards me, I shrugged him off. Removing
myself from their presence, I stood up from the coach.
I couldn’t even dare to look at them, hate was filling up inside me.
Liars.
Liam didn’t even tell me. Was this some kind of a joke?
Bolting out the door, I left.
I ran away like I always do with the ringing of their shouts echoing in the back of my mind.
I awoke to the sound of the ending credits and Niall and Liam’s muffled voices in the background.
When did I even fall asleep?
Sometime during the movie I guess?
Oh well.
My eyes felt so heavy, I couldn’t even apply enough force for them to open. Oddly enough, my body wouldn’t move either. Not one bit. It was like my mind was awake, but everything else was still sleeping.
Sleep paralysis.
I took in a deep breath as I let my brain focus on what was going on around me. At this point, I decided upon keeping my eyes clamped shut.
“Should I wake her up?” someone asked in a hushed tone. I could easily identify that distinct Irish accent anywhere- Niall.
“I don’t know lad, she looks pretty comfortable cuddling with you.”
I was 99% certain that was coming from Zayn, but I was too busy focusing on the eerie eight letter word he
had just said.
Cuddling.
I can’t even bring myself to say that term. Or even think it. Bleh.
I’m sure we weren’t even doing that, they must be over exaggerating.
I am not the ‘type’ who enjoys male affection nor attention. It’s so not my forte.
Here’s the thing:
I know how men are, unlike most girls. They are manipulative, immature, and so very conceited. If you haven’t learned this lesson now, you will some day. Trust me on this one.
Every male figure in my life HAS disappointed me. That’s what they were born to do. They were built up to let people down.
Yes, this includes my father and newly ex boyfriend as a perfect example.
A word of advice for any women out there: Don’t take any of their words for granted.
I’m saying this cause’ I comprehend how their brains are operated. I really do.
They enjoy the pleasure of watching the people (they claimed to ‘love’) fall apart. It’s almost amusing to
them.
What bugs me the most is how some asinine girls depend on men, like their the only thing that keeps them together.
The sad thing is, I used to be one of those girls. It’s true.
In my eyes, what’s worse is when youngsters crave attention from boys like their a drug or something.
Yep. I used to be like that too. Shocker right?
It’s like these idiotic females truly think their guy will stay with them through thick and thin. Sorry honey, that
aint gonna happen.
Likewise, it’s frankly disheartening to watch these innocent girls fall under their trap. Too bad they don’t know what’s coming.
Take this advice wisely from someone who’s been there from hell and back.
I mean, it’s only been one day since I broke free and now look at me, I’m a talking pole of wisdom.
Who knew I could be so philosophical?! Although, I feel like I’m kinda just lecturing myself.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not anti-male. No, no, no. I mean, we all gotta deal with them. They’re a part of
our everyday lives. The difference with me is that I don’t trust them or have any desire to have a ‘special lover’ in my life. From personal experience, I know what they are capable of.
I’m still trying to heal. All credits go to Jake.
But then why do I hate cuddling?
Simply because.
Snuggling up with a boy kinda makes you appear to look weak. As if you depend on the person next to you to stay there. Stay there forever.
In a way, it shows you can’t hold on without them. I don’t know.
All I do know is that I hate it.
Maybe its because me and Jake used to do that in the waaaay beginning of our relationship and now look how it turned out.
A mess.
All good things come to an end.
Which is why I don’t take things for granted. It’s pretty obvious that receiving affection from someone is everyone’s weak spot. It really is. So, I’d prefer just to receive no fondness whatsoever.
I’ll be friendly with guys, no doubt. I mean, I’m in a room with 5 boys aren’t I?
Truthfully, it’s already bad enough that I’m having such confusing feelings about Niall and Liam. Especially Niall….
I probably sound like such a pessimist right now, but its only because I prefer to stay independent. Even if I’m crumbling into millions of broken pieces on the inside, my outside deportment must always show I don’t need anyone for help.
Because I don’t. I’m capable of doing things on my own for now on.
But why? Cause I’m just so tired of everyone taking advantage of me. It’s been draining me out to the extent where I’m at a state of exhaustion from it all.
Now back to my inconsequential thoughts; I refuse to let people know how I’m actually feeling. It’s always best to stick with the ‘I’m fine’ or ‘ I’m just tired’ excuses. Not only is it much easier that way, it works out best for everyone.
Sure, I may keep things bottled up but I’m okay with that. I throw all my uncanny emotions capped inside a jar. Well, metaphorically speaking.
Shockingly, Liam was the first see me completely shattered, but lets not get into that.
By now, I’m sure he forgot all about that uncomfortable situation.
Hmpf. Okay, I don’t really even know where I’m going with my thoughts. Right now, I’m kinda just off in my own little world.
I guess one major drawback of mine is thinking tooo much.
I kinda just ramble on and on about nothing really important. Plus, half the time I don’t even make sense.
So, if you don’t fathom any of my sentiments, don’t worry. Most people don’t. But hey, I guess that’s why
everyone is so unique and different.
Now, pushing my babbling brain to rest, I put my ears to work.
“I know. I’d feel bad to wake her, like what if I disturb a dream she’s having?”
Hahaha funny. I’m actually awake. Too lazy to open my eyes, that’s all.
“Niall stop being such a wuss.”
“ Hey lads, I have an idea!” I heard Louis chime in.
“What!” multiple voices hollered in unison.
“We can draw on her face!”
……& now you can understand why I find boys so immature….
“I’ll go get a few markers! I call making the mustache!”
No.No.No. Don’t do that you idiot!
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea Lou.”
Yayyy! Niall to the rescue!
“…but it would be quite a laugh.”
Okay, screw you Nialler.
Suddenly, there was silence.
Perfecto. I’m taking this as my cue to wake up now. I’m soooo not giving these faggots the pleasure of
scribbling all over my face. They would ruin my makeup anyways. So hell nah.
Stifling a fake yawn, I fluttered my eyes open.
“Hey you, you’re up!” Niall cheered blissfully.
Rubbing my eyes, I let out a sigh, “Yeah I am, I don’t even remember falling asleep.”
“Love, you passed out during the first five minutes of the movie.” Harry said while adding in, “A really good
movie by the way, you missed out.”
I could feel my cheeks redden as I tried to cover them with my sleeves. Wow, what a great first impression.
Actually, more like second impression. But still, these guys probably find me so strange.
“Ha ha yeah, you were out like a light before the popcorn was ready!”
“Ni, why does everything you say have to revolve around food?”
“Hey! That’s not true!” he barked back. “I do love food though.”
“Me too” I grinned. Just the thought of some mac & cheese made my stomach grumble. Literally.
I guess the gastric noise was louder than I thought because all eyes turned to me. Shrugging slightly, the group of boys exploded into a fit of laughter.
“Hungry?” Niall asked in between a chuckle.
“Starving.” I admitted entirely.
Before any other words could be delivered, Louis rushed back into the room a little too excitedly with a fistful
of sharpies. “I got them!”
And in that moment, his orbs fell on mine as his smile faded into a childish frown. “Oh ratz, um never mind.”
From there, he stormed back out of the living room area.
Once he was out of sight, I realized Liam wasn’t gathered around us.
So, instead of making a sassy remark I decided to ignore Louis’ little display. Even though I knew exactly what those sharpies would’ve been used for, I let it slide.
“Hey, where’s Liam?” I asked.
“Talking to his girlfriend, Danielle” Zayn replied bluntly.
Oh. He never mentioned a girlfriend.
It’s not like I expected him to tell me that minor detail right?
Hmmm. More like major detail.
“Oh. Cool. ”
“ Yep he’s probably skyping her. Wait, do you want us to get you something to eat?
“ Well, I don’t wanna be a bother.”
“ Oh shush, your never a bother,” Niall said while nudging me a bit.
This time, I turned to face him and politely say ‘thanks,’ but something caught my attention.
I noticed we were cuddling…..
Aghh. I just wanted to jump out of his hold like he was some infectious disease. But no. That would be rude.
Plus, they’re making me some lunch, so why ruin the opportunity of a delicious meal?
Pshhh. We probably weren’t even cuddling. Even I’m over exaggerating.
But wait.
I hadn’t even spotted Niall’s arm cradling my torso while he stroked my back lightly in such an endearing
manner. His gentle touch felt so affectionate, making goose bumps roll up my spine. My head was partially nuzzled into his chest with no objection. It fit perfectly and well, felt nice. I was close enough to smell his alluring cologne. Not too much, not too little. Just the way I like it.
WHOAH, WAIT WHAT AM I THINKING?
Um. Maybe my empty stomach is what’s making these hallucinations occur. Or worse, it’s playing with my
mind, thus causing me to think bizarre thoughts.
“Amanda, I’m calling room service. What would you like babe?”
“Harry, my name is Alexandra. Nice try.”
“I’m still gonna call you Amanda” he said with a cheeky grin, revealing his shiny white teeth and dimples.
“Alright, I’ll just call you Henry for now on.”
“Kay babe, whatever floats your boat. Now what did you want again?”
“I want a cheeseburger, extra fries, and some chicken fingers!” Niall butted in.
“Mac and cheese please”
“Good thinking add that to my order! Mac with extra cheese puh-lease!”
“Jeez, how are you not fat?” I joked.
“I wonder the same question every day.” Zayn grumbled while scrolling through his phone aimlessly.
Harry and Niall didn’t hear his little comment, but I sure did. I compressed my lips together to hold back my embarrassing giggles.
“They said room service will be here in like 20 minutes tops,” Harry announced with a groan from Niall following afterwards.
“It’ll be here in a blink of an eye, I promise,” I tried to reassure him as I rubbed his arm. He seemed genuinely upset about the time we had to wait for lunch, so I attempted to at least make him feel a bit better.
And I did.
He smiled back at me causing his mood to quickly shift back to normal. His lips were parted to respond, but
were interrupted by Louis yet again.
“HONEY I’M HOME!”
Louis slammed the door shut and sprinted over towards us while plopping himself on the ground. I wonder where he went…
“Where’d you go?” I questioned, as if I didn’t know what he was planning to do earlier.
“I called up my lovely girlfriend to check in on her,” he said proudly.
Jeez..Are they all in relationships?
In response, Harry made kissy noises while Zayn and Niall whistled and obnoxiously whined “awwwwhhhhhh howwww cuttttteeeeee”
Once that died down, Zayn asked, “How’s she feeling?”
“Not better, she’s still pretty sick,” he said in an unhappily tone.
“What happened?” I asked, kinda curious and kinda just wanting to start conversation.
“She’s got the flu, I just wish I could see her. You know?” he said while reaching for the remote on the
coffee table.
No.. I don’t know…
Turning the TV on, the channel E appeared with five familiar boys faces planted on the screen.
“Hey, that’s us!” Harry cheered.
“The famous boy band, known as One Direction sold out their new album Take Me Home in under 10 minutes yesterday. It’s already number one on ITunes and their worldwide tour is coming up. Speaking of which, Harry, Zayn-”
I guess the expression on my face was pure horror because someone shut off the screen, leaving it blank
as I just stared endlessly at it.
What flashed before my eyes was disbelief and completely unexpected.
Famous?
Boyband?
One Direction?
“Alexandra, you okay?” Zayn asked worriedly.
I didn’t respond. I just sat there with my fingers trembling and my heart pace quickening.
“You guys didn’t tell me,” the words fell from my lips unexpectedly.
“Alexandra, we uh, we thought you knew,” Niall said. Reaching towards me, I shrugged him off. Removing
myself from their presence, I stood up from the coach.
I couldn’t even dare to look at them, hate was filling up inside me.
Liars.
Liam didn’t even tell me. Was this some kind of a joke?
Bolting out the door, I left.
I ran away like I always do with the ringing of their shouts echoing in the back of my mind.
Notes
Sorry if there is mispelling or mistakes, I haven't read over this chapter entirely! They will be fixed.!Make sure to comment and subscribe! I would really love to know what you all are thinking so far! i tried to make this chapter a bit longer! AND if you want your name to be one of the boys girlfriends, COMMENT!! It could be you(:
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10/14/13