Not One Alike
Chapter 2
Kenzie
“Ell,”I try to rush after her, but Joey holds me back.
“She’ll be fine, Kenz,”
“No, she won’t!” I shout, not caring if people are looking.
“She hasn’t had an attack like that in at least 2 years!” I almost started crying, but I held it back.McKenzie Carson doesn’t cry, I told myself.
She never cried when she dislocated her knee diving for a soccer ball.
She didn’t cry when she found out about Ellabree’s secret and how her family was in 8th grade.
And, she especially didn’t cry when Zac Efron admitted he was two-timing her on national television last year.
The only time Kenzie had ever cried was-
No.
I will never remember that day again. For Jeffery.
But why was I (almost) crying now? I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up, surprised to see Niall. “It’s ok, McKenzie, Harry will take good care of her,”
Dammit!
Out of all the people who could’ve helped her, that dickhead Harry had to take her home with him. He’s probably going to rape her or something.
I can’t have Ell with him
“I can’t have Ell going to his house. She needs to go back to the apartment,” I said sternly, looking at Joey. “Right,” he said quickly.
“She needs to get something.”
And, suddenly, I remembered.
The pills.
McKenzie Ann Carson you fucking idiot! I don’t think Ellabree took them today!
“We really need to go now, Joey,” I said, getting up and walking to the exit.
“Wait!” I heard a think Irish accent say as Niall ran in front of me.
“Let us drive you guys to Harry’s. Then, when Ell wakes up, you guys will be there and ready to take her home.”
I thought that over. I would have to spend time with gay central, but at least we could get Ell home faster.
I actually wouldn’t mind spending time with Niall; he’s my favorite out of all the boys. I don’t even know why, but, when I look at him, I feel this little jolt in my chest, something I only felt when I was with…Zac.
I secretly had never gotten over Zac Efron when he told the whole world he loved Vanessa Hudgens more than me. I had only told Ell and Joey that, though.
Maybe if I dated Niall, he would get my mind off Zac.
Stop, Kenz! You’re not here to get a new boyfriend. Besides, I don’t even know Niall.
I had known Zac for 2 years before I started dating him.
I don’t even think I could get through 2 weeks with Niall and not explode. But, one night wouldn’t hurt, right?
“Yeah, I guess we’ll go to Harry’s,” I sighed, and when the boys erupted into cheers,
I couldn’t help but grin a little bit. What had I gotten myself into?
“Ok, Kenz, truth or dare?” I heard Zayn ask. We were at Harry’s house right now, sitting in his family room. Ellabree and Harry were nowhere to be seen, probably sleeping or something, but I didn’t really notice that factor because I was in the middle of some pretty intense ‘would you rather: truth or dare version’.
It goes like this. You pick truth or dare, and then you get asked a would you rather question. If it’s a truth, you just have to answer.
But if you pick dare, you have to actually do the thing you picked. It was Liam’s idea, a way for us to “bond” and “get to know each other”, despite the fact that I DON’T WANT TO!
I don’t want to know them! I hate them, I remind myself.
I always have.
Or have I?
*Flashback*
“C’mon, Kenz, sing along!” my older brother Jeffery shouted over the music in his car.
“No,” I refused with a smile as he belted along to What Makes You Beautiful.
“I thought you hate them?” I asked.
“I do, I just like making fun of them.” He replied, turning around a corner to drop me off at school.
As we drove by the lot, a sign, probably made by the student body, saying Honk if you hate One Direction was hanging from the school flag post. Jeffery leaned over to honk the horn, but I stopped him with my hand.
“What’s your deal, M? They’re douchebags.”
“I don’t hate them, and if you were famous, people would think you’re a douchebag. They’re like 18.”
“Well then don’t honk,” Jeffery retorted, moving my arm and banging on the horn
.
*End of Flashback*
Ok, Kenzie, that was one time. And that was also 2 years ago.
And that was with Jeffery, I thought miserably.
Things have changed. I think.
I realized I had to pick truth or dare and i felt everyone looking at me. “Dare,” I decided, shaking me out of my thought.
Zayn sat there thinking for a second, and the finally said,
“Ok. Would you rather twerk on Louis’ or grind on him?”
Shit.
I felt my face go red as I turned around to see Louis sitting on the couch, grinning stupidly and looking at me for an answer.
Perv.
“Umm,” I said, thinking. I don’t know why I was so nervous.
I mean, you’re looking at McKenzie Carson. I am probably the vainest person you will ever meet. Ellen DeGeneres made that clear when I was on her show with Ell and Joey.
“Wait,” Zayn said. “You can twerk, right?”
Are you fucking kidding me Zayn! “Noooo,” I said sarcastically. “Of course I can!”
I am fucking amazing if you ask me! You know what, I’ll do that!
I’ll twerk! Old Kenzie is coming back!
“I’ll twerk,” I said, laughing, as Zayn got up and walked over to the sound system, pulling out his phone. The stereo started playing Gas Pedal as Louis got up and walked to the center of the room, giving me a cheeky grin as a smiled and winked at him.
I got in position in front of Louis, making sure everyone could take it in.
I started twerking, and everyone cracked up.
well, almost everyone. I looked at Niall and Joey, who were both suppressing a smile, but they looked fake. Was Niall jealous of Louis? And what was Joey’s deal?
I don’t know, I mean I just met Niall, and Joey’s like my brother. They can’t like me!
What the hell?
“Stop, please, I can’t breathe!” Zayn said between laughs. I got off of Louis and turned around, seeing his huge smile. “Damn Kenzie, you’re better than Miley.”
I smiled and gave him a hug. “That was fun!”
I giggled as I sat down on the couch with Louis holding my arm. “You can sit on my lap if you want.” Louis offered, but, after seeing the looks of Niall and Joey, I didn’t want to risk anything.
God, what are their fucking problems?
“I think I’ll pass,” I said. “But thanks Lou,” Your welcome, love.” He grinned and scooted over on the couch, making room for me to sit.
“So, let’s take a little break from this,” Liam prompted. Don’t say it, Liam. Don’t bring up Ell.
“And let’s talk about what happened with Ellabree at the interview.”
Fuck.
“Kenzie, what actually happened?” Zayn asked me, having everyone look at me.
Shit, should I tell everyone? I don’t know what to do. I mean, Ell is my best friend and she’s trusted this secret with me since 8th grade.
But, i can’t stand lying to the boys. Ugh Kenzie, would you rather keep your best friend’s biggest secret or spill it to 5 people you just met?
“Well, sometimes,” I started. “Ell gets a lot panic attacks from stress, and it really messes up her breathing pattern and stuff.”
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I am a horrible friend
.
I could feel Joey was looking at me with disapproval, but I couldn’t take it back right now. “She has to take pills to balance out her brain, and she forgot to take them today.
So, she get stressed out for some reason and so she must have fainted or something.”
"Wait,” Niall asked, “How could anything stress her out during an interview? Not meaning to be rude or anything.”
“Ell had a really bad childhood, so a lot of things stress her out now. It’s just the way she grew up; the way she was raised. She adapted and felt like she had to
expect the worse,” I got out, tears now streaming down my face.
“God,” Liam looked really upset. “I feel terrible.” I nodded, suddenly remembering I was wearing a ton of mascara, and looking down to see my white tank top splattered with black puddles.
Fuck, I'm a mess.
“Kenz, it’s ok,” Louis said, putting his arm around me and guiding my head into his chest, having me sob into his (now black) t-shirt.
“Ell is like a sister to me,” I cried. “I’ll do anything to protect her and it breaks my heart to see that she has to expect the worse.”
“That’s really brave of you Kenz,” Louis comforted me, stroking my hair.Lou reminds me of Jeffery, so I was ok with him doing all of this.
But I don’t really give a fuck about what he thinks right now. I'm preoccupied at the moment.
It’s like I’m back at the doctor’s office in Seattle, sobbing into Jeffery’s shirt.
That was the only time I had ever cried.
But I can’t think about that time right now. You’re already losing it, Kenz, you can’t make this worse.
“You know what, Kenz and Kenzie is kind of overused. Can I call you M, you know, like in McKenzie?” Louis asked me, resting his head on mine.
M.
Jeffrey called me M. that was his name for me. I continued to cry as I heard everyone leave the room.
“It’s alright.” Louis said, as I felt a few tears fall on the top of my head.
Was Louis crying?
He is.
Why, though? Why does he care?
“I’m here for you, M.”
M.
“Ell,”I try to rush after her, but Joey holds me back.
“She’ll be fine, Kenz,”
“No, she won’t!” I shout, not caring if people are looking.
“She hasn’t had an attack like that in at least 2 years!” I almost started crying, but I held it back.McKenzie Carson doesn’t cry, I told myself.
She never cried when she dislocated her knee diving for a soccer ball.
She didn’t cry when she found out about Ellabree’s secret and how her family was in 8th grade.
And, she especially didn’t cry when Zac Efron admitted he was two-timing her on national television last year.
The only time Kenzie had ever cried was-
No.
I will never remember that day again. For Jeffery.
But why was I (almost) crying now? I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up, surprised to see Niall. “It’s ok, McKenzie, Harry will take good care of her,”
Dammit!
Out of all the people who could’ve helped her, that dickhead Harry had to take her home with him. He’s probably going to rape her or something.
I can’t have Ell with him
“I can’t have Ell going to his house. She needs to go back to the apartment,” I said sternly, looking at Joey. “Right,” he said quickly.
“She needs to get something.”
And, suddenly, I remembered.
The pills.
McKenzie Ann Carson you fucking idiot! I don’t think Ellabree took them today!
“We really need to go now, Joey,” I said, getting up and walking to the exit.
“Wait!” I heard a think Irish accent say as Niall ran in front of me.
“Let us drive you guys to Harry’s. Then, when Ell wakes up, you guys will be there and ready to take her home.”
I thought that over. I would have to spend time with gay central, but at least we could get Ell home faster.
I actually wouldn’t mind spending time with Niall; he’s my favorite out of all the boys. I don’t even know why, but, when I look at him, I feel this little jolt in my chest, something I only felt when I was with…Zac.
I secretly had never gotten over Zac Efron when he told the whole world he loved Vanessa Hudgens more than me. I had only told Ell and Joey that, though.
Maybe if I dated Niall, he would get my mind off Zac.
Stop, Kenz! You’re not here to get a new boyfriend. Besides, I don’t even know Niall.
I had known Zac for 2 years before I started dating him.
I don’t even think I could get through 2 weeks with Niall and not explode. But, one night wouldn’t hurt, right?
“Yeah, I guess we’ll go to Harry’s,” I sighed, and when the boys erupted into cheers,
I couldn’t help but grin a little bit. What had I gotten myself into?
“Ok, Kenz, truth or dare?” I heard Zayn ask. We were at Harry’s house right now, sitting in his family room. Ellabree and Harry were nowhere to be seen, probably sleeping or something, but I didn’t really notice that factor because I was in the middle of some pretty intense ‘would you rather: truth or dare version’.
It goes like this. You pick truth or dare, and then you get asked a would you rather question. If it’s a truth, you just have to answer.
But if you pick dare, you have to actually do the thing you picked. It was Liam’s idea, a way for us to “bond” and “get to know each other”, despite the fact that I DON’T WANT TO!
I don’t want to know them! I hate them, I remind myself.
I always have.
Or have I?
*Flashback*
“C’mon, Kenz, sing along!” my older brother Jeffery shouted over the music in his car.
“No,” I refused with a smile as he belted along to What Makes You Beautiful.
“I thought you hate them?” I asked.
“I do, I just like making fun of them.” He replied, turning around a corner to drop me off at school.
As we drove by the lot, a sign, probably made by the student body, saying Honk if you hate One Direction was hanging from the school flag post. Jeffery leaned over to honk the horn, but I stopped him with my hand.
“What’s your deal, M? They’re douchebags.”
“I don’t hate them, and if you were famous, people would think you’re a douchebag. They’re like 18.”
“Well then don’t honk,” Jeffery retorted, moving my arm and banging on the horn
.
*End of Flashback*
Ok, Kenzie, that was one time. And that was also 2 years ago.
And that was with Jeffery, I thought miserably.
Things have changed. I think.
I realized I had to pick truth or dare and i felt everyone looking at me. “Dare,” I decided, shaking me out of my thought.
Zayn sat there thinking for a second, and the finally said,
“Ok. Would you rather twerk on Louis’ or grind on him?”
Shit.
I felt my face go red as I turned around to see Louis sitting on the couch, grinning stupidly and looking at me for an answer.
Perv.
“Umm,” I said, thinking. I don’t know why I was so nervous.
I mean, you’re looking at McKenzie Carson. I am probably the vainest person you will ever meet. Ellen DeGeneres made that clear when I was on her show with Ell and Joey.
“Wait,” Zayn said. “You can twerk, right?”
Are you fucking kidding me Zayn! “Noooo,” I said sarcastically. “Of course I can!”
I am fucking amazing if you ask me! You know what, I’ll do that!
I’ll twerk! Old Kenzie is coming back!
“I’ll twerk,” I said, laughing, as Zayn got up and walked over to the sound system, pulling out his phone. The stereo started playing Gas Pedal as Louis got up and walked to the center of the room, giving me a cheeky grin as a smiled and winked at him.
I got in position in front of Louis, making sure everyone could take it in.
I started twerking, and everyone cracked up.
well, almost everyone. I looked at Niall and Joey, who were both suppressing a smile, but they looked fake. Was Niall jealous of Louis? And what was Joey’s deal?
I don’t know, I mean I just met Niall, and Joey’s like my brother. They can’t like me!
What the hell?
“Stop, please, I can’t breathe!” Zayn said between laughs. I got off of Louis and turned around, seeing his huge smile. “Damn Kenzie, you’re better than Miley.”
I smiled and gave him a hug. “That was fun!”
I giggled as I sat down on the couch with Louis holding my arm. “You can sit on my lap if you want.” Louis offered, but, after seeing the looks of Niall and Joey, I didn’t want to risk anything.
God, what are their fucking problems?
“I think I’ll pass,” I said. “But thanks Lou,” Your welcome, love.” He grinned and scooted over on the couch, making room for me to sit.
“So, let’s take a little break from this,” Liam prompted. Don’t say it, Liam. Don’t bring up Ell.
“And let’s talk about what happened with Ellabree at the interview.”
Fuck.
“Kenzie, what actually happened?” Zayn asked me, having everyone look at me.
Shit, should I tell everyone? I don’t know what to do. I mean, Ell is my best friend and she’s trusted this secret with me since 8th grade.
But, i can’t stand lying to the boys. Ugh Kenzie, would you rather keep your best friend’s biggest secret or spill it to 5 people you just met?
“Well, sometimes,” I started. “Ell gets a lot panic attacks from stress, and it really messes up her breathing pattern and stuff.”
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I am a horrible friend
.
I could feel Joey was looking at me with disapproval, but I couldn’t take it back right now. “She has to take pills to balance out her brain, and she forgot to take them today.
So, she get stressed out for some reason and so she must have fainted or something.”
"Wait,” Niall asked, “How could anything stress her out during an interview? Not meaning to be rude or anything.”
“Ell had a really bad childhood, so a lot of things stress her out now. It’s just the way she grew up; the way she was raised. She adapted and felt like she had to
expect the worse,” I got out, tears now streaming down my face.
“God,” Liam looked really upset. “I feel terrible.” I nodded, suddenly remembering I was wearing a ton of mascara, and looking down to see my white tank top splattered with black puddles.
Fuck, I'm a mess.
“Kenz, it’s ok,” Louis said, putting his arm around me and guiding my head into his chest, having me sob into his (now black) t-shirt.
“Ell is like a sister to me,” I cried. “I’ll do anything to protect her and it breaks my heart to see that she has to expect the worse.”
“That’s really brave of you Kenz,” Louis comforted me, stroking my hair.Lou reminds me of Jeffery, so I was ok with him doing all of this.
But I don’t really give a fuck about what he thinks right now. I'm preoccupied at the moment.
It’s like I’m back at the doctor’s office in Seattle, sobbing into Jeffery’s shirt.
That was the only time I had ever cried.
But I can’t think about that time right now. You’re already losing it, Kenz, you can’t make this worse.
“You know what, Kenz and Kenzie is kind of overused. Can I call you M, you know, like in McKenzie?” Louis asked me, resting his head on mine.
M.
Jeffrey called me M. that was his name for me. I continued to cry as I heard everyone leave the room.
“It’s alright.” Louis said, as I felt a few tears fall on the top of my head.
Was Louis crying?
He is.
Why, though? Why does he care?
“I’m here for you, M.”
M.
Notes
OMG this is so sad! What’s all of this about Jeffery? What the deal with Ell’s childhood and anxiety? What is with Joey and Niall? Why does Harry care about Ell and take her home? Why does Louis care so much for Kenzie? I’ll explain in chapters to follow! Sorry if it's all really confusing, but i hope a Harry POV coming up will make up for that fact! Please don't be a silent reader, i want to hear EVERY opinion you guys have! the good, the bad, just throw em at me! it would mean a lot to see that you guys would listen and give feedback. But anywaaaaaaaaays, happy monday!
Sorry for the long notes :P
NOOOO!!!!! WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?!?!?!
7/14/15