Tainted

"Hey," I smile weakly.

The door is wide open now.

"Spencer?" Harry asks.

What is he doing here? I specifically told MY BOYFRIEND that I was showing up at his house aka my new home today. True, I didn't say not to invite his best friend, but it kind of implied the obvious.

"Hi, Harry," I tuck some of my hair behind my ear. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing." Harry replies smoothly. He leans against the crack of the door and smiles cockily.

I sigh loudly and try not to grit my teeth.

"Look Harry, I'm not in the mood." I pause as wait for him to move; he doesn't, "I just really want to go see Derek."

He looks at me for a moment and I guess the desperation in my voice makes him move.
I push past him and walk into the Derek's flat.

"Where is he?" I ask.

Harry shrugs, "He went out. Said he couldn't be in the house when..."

He runs his hands through his hair and looks away.

I glare at him.

"So, how are you, Spencer?" he says

I raise one eyebrow and cross my arms.

"I'm fine, Harry. Do you know when he'll be coming back?"

"Didn’t say." He shrugs again and a look of confusion crosses his face, "Uh, what exactly are you doing here?"

I turn away from Harry, suddenly embarrassed. If only he weren't standing right behind me. Maybe I don't have to answer him.

I freeze for a second to avoid inevitable and then, it dawns on me.
I point one finger at Harry and start to accuse him.

"You just think you're so funny, Harry. I know all about how Derek told you my parents threw me out. And yes, I will be staying here. I'm sorry to put a little damper on your so called "guy time", but there's one thing I know that you don't know, Harry Styles,"

He stares at me blankly and I take that as my cue to speak.

"I love Derek and Derek Christopher Bane loves me."

I grin instantly and cross my hands. I look at Harry again and he still has that blank face.

"I'm sorry, Spence. I didn't know that." He says sincerely.

My grins falters just a little bit.

I believe him. I curse myself for believing in the greater good of others, but also for not giving my boyfriend the benefit of the doubt. Derek wouldn't do that to me, even if that is his best friend. How could I lose in trust in him that quickly? Deep in thought, I remember Harry's still beside me. I cover my mouth, but the damage is already done.

"First of all, don't call me Spence. And second, the only reason I told you that is because I thought Derek told you." I say this with some authority and try to regain some of my dignity.
Harry follows, "I do think I remember him saying something along the lines of loving a certain Spencer Marie Masse.”

I revel in his comment and blush.

Though he doesn’t let me bask in my mood for long. “If you’re homeless, how come you don’t have any shopping carts or pillowcases.”
What a moodkiller…

“My BAGS are in the car, thanks for asking.” I snort, “If you could stop being a jerk one second it would be nice if you could help me take some of them out of the car.”

I stand my ground; refusing to be humiliated for having to stay with Derek.

Harry counters, “Wow, homeless people are rich these days.” He grins.
I roll my eyes.

“Come on.” I say, feigning anger, “I’ll unlock my car.”
~~~~~~~

“And naturally, I say to him, “You want some of this?”” Harry puffs out his chest as we unload the last few boxes.

I laugh, “What happened next?”

“Very curious Spencer.” He waggles his eyebrows, “Well, if you must know. I told him to scram and that if I ever saw his face in my town again he’d be in big trouble.”

Harry sets the last box down as I roll my eyes.

He looks at me and flexes his muscles and after that, I’m doubling over with laughter. I don’t remember a time when Derek made me laugh so hard.

I open my mouth to tell Harry just that when Derek walks right through the door.
If looks could kill, I’d be dead. Derek looks furious.

“Um, hey babe.” I walk over to Derek and kiss his cheek hesitantly, “Harry let me in.”
“I can see that.” he murmurs.

I’m still standing; watching as Harry and Derek look back and forth at each other.
“Some mate, making me do all the heavy lifting,” Harry jokes.

Derek snorts and just like that the awkward moment is gone.

I kiss my boyfriend’s cheek once more and then go busy myself in the kitchen.

A few minutes later, I hear Derek and Harry talking in hushed tones. I’m curious to go around the corner and hear what they’re saying, but I stay planted in the kitchen.

About the time that Harry leaves, it’s late. I come back out into the living room and Derek is sitting with his hands in his lap.

I look at him and quickly down to the floor, because I know Derek isn’t big on vulnerability.
“Det be a fear, Spence?” He mumbles.

I start to answer, but shut my mouth quickly realizing I didn’t understand a word Derek just said.
He mutters again and I reply with a confused look.

Suddenly, Derek shots up at of his seat.

“I said get me a fucking beer, Spencer.”

He stares at me with bloodshot eyes and I wonder if he’s been like that the night.
“I-um just didn’t hear you Derek, I’ll go get you something to drink right now.”
I stumble off the ground, a perfectly natural reaction to Derek having just yelled at me for the first time and go off into the kitchen. I open the refrigerator door and see a six pack of Bud Light that I must not have noticed before. I grab one of the cold beverages and make my way to the kitchen, but I trip.

I get up to go back to the kitchen and look up to see Derek.

“I fell.” I respond lamely.

He jerks me upright and pushes me to the side.

“I could’ve gotten to it myself.” He grunts.

I follow him into the kitchen, desperate not to start a fight and try to apologize.
“I’m sor-” I begin.

The slap hits me hard and I blink my eyes a few times to understand. Derek turns and all at once it’s like it never happened. I touch my cheek to make sure I’m not daydreaming and when I realize I’m not, I run to the bathroom. I close my eyes and turn on the lights in the enclosed room. I prep myself to face my reflection and when I do I’m disappointed to see a plain red mark. No bruising, just coloring. I think back to all the Lifetime movies that I’ve watched about abusive relationships and I know this is definitely not one of them. Derek is drunk. Intoxicated, even. He’s my boyfriend of six months and I love him.

I repeat that chant to myself a few more times and then walk out of the bathroom.

Derek is waiting for me in the living room and he wears the most remorseful look I’ve ever seen.
“I apologize, babe.” He says guiltily, “I don’t know what just happened there. It’s like I blacked out back there, and when I came to, something told me that I’d hurt you.”

I take it his cheeks in my hand and smile.

“I know, Derek. You don’t have to explain it to me. We weren’t ourselves back there.” I kiss him, “Let’s just forget about that. I love you.”

He kisses me back, “You’re in love with me?” He grins and we play the game that we’ve played so many times before.

“So in love.”

Notes

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