Manners

"Bye." I whispered. I caught myself staring, as his wet body trudged across the sand. I once again, tore my eyes away from his beautiful body and dived into the cool waters. I felt my muscles relax when they met the water, going into the familiar sink of breaststroke.

I lost myself in my swimming, forgetting all my problems and just letting my mind drift away like the tide. But eventually I would have to stop and everything I had forgotten was remembered again.

I lifted my head up to the sun and smiled, despite all my troubles, the sunset always made me happy. I reluctantly walked out of the water, but became happy again once my feet sunk into the deliciously warm sand. I love the beach more than anything and I always visit it, everyday. I'm here anytime I'm not busy, which I never am.

The smell of the salt water and the light breeze never ceased to make me happy. Nothing bad has ever happened to me on the beach, and I've come to think of it as my refuge, my home. I closed my eyes and let out a big sigh, the cold wind signaling me to leave. Groaning, I trekked through the sand and made my way back to my remote home. Wait no. "Home" isn't the right word, I think the correct term is lighthouse.

Yes, I live in an abandoned lighthouse. Lila insisted, she knew how much I loved the ocean. Every morning I wake up to direct rays of sunlight, streaming through the enormous windows and fall asleep to the sound of the waves slapping against the rocks.

I hope that when I'm older, I can actually earn enough money to pay for my lovely home. But I doubt it. I've never really had a job before. The only bad thing about the lighthouse is how empty and lonesome it is. When your alone, things always seem bigger and more frightening. The shadows lurking in the corners and the demons hiding in the dark are always laughing at me, cowering in a ball.

There are only three things that distract me, two of them I love dearly, and the third, not so much. Reading and spending time at the beach helps me forget, school on the other hand is different. I'm not alone, but I really am. I'm not scared, but school just adds on to my list of problems.

I've always been an outsider, with no friends. When I was in elementary, I was bullied daily because I'm a foster child and because of my name. In middle school, I was the freak who wore headgear. Now in high school, I'm isolated and blend in with the lockers. There have been a few instances where the new kid would befriend me for about a month. But they always deserted me when they figured out how Cape Cod Academy works: if you want to be someone, don't be friends with Gisselle Green.

Becoming my friend would be social suicide.

You would think that I would hate everyone at school for totally ignoring me. But it's quite the opposite really, I hate myself for being ignored. I've always hatted that I has put up for adoption and then no one wanted me. I hate the name that my birth mom gave me. I hate that my teeth were really screwed up. I hate that I'm only 5'3. I hate that no one likes me except for teachers (which only makes everyone hate me more). But what I hate the most is when people play with my feelings.

I've been played twice before, both times I really began to think maybe I'm not such a bad person. And both times when the hard truth was slapped across my face, I didn't react very well.

As I laid in bed, hair re-braided, and pajamas on, I felt my eyes tear up. The cool liquid stinging my cheeks and dampening my pillow.

Don't fall for him Gisselle! I thought as I squeezed my eyes tight, trying to cease the flow of tears. Louis will only hurt you like the others. Except more and this time he won't only break your heart, but he'll also trample it and tear it into a billion pieces.

You don't know that, said an optimistic part of my brain. Shut up, I told it. But that little voice in my head was already taking control.

His voice echoed in my mind, his face filled every cell in my brain, and his fingers repeatedly touched my hair, again and again in my dreams. I remembered when Louis smiled at me in English class, the way the skin beneath his eyes wrinkled and his eyes sparkled. As my dreams of Louis continued, my promise of never loving anyone ever again, was shattered.

Notes

I know this chapter is super short, but I'm going to post another because unlike One Thousand Songs Later, I've already wrote like nine chapters for it! Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this sad little piece! It's only the beginning to a long road of heartbreak...
Love You All,
-Louistomlinson