Breathe
Bones
Harry’s P.O.V
I stare at the sterile white walls of the hospital, I don’t move from my chair I just stare at them like I have for the past hour. The tears from my most recent sob are drying up, making my cheeks feel patchy. Where are they boys…. I lean my head back up against the wall.
A doctor, clearly dressed for surgery walks out of a doorway and stands in front of all the waiting room chairs.
“Family of Nina Marie Antoinette Vinci?” He calls out and my heart leaps into my throat. I stand and remove my sunglasses “Tha-That’s me” His eyes widen in shock; clearly he knows who I am.
“Nina is still in surgery and wont be out for a while, few more hours at least” He speaks, sounding so tired he might pass out. Pain and sadness find its way back into my stomach.
“Is- she okay?” I croak, blinking my eyes quickly.
“We’re doing everything we can” He gives me a small smile but his eyes look sympathetic. If she’s going to die why can’t he fucking tell me? Anger starts making its way up my body; I clench my fists and nod.
“We’ll keep you posted, if anything happens- he pauses- we’ll let you know, I’ll check back with you in a few hours” He smiles that fake doctor smile once again before returning back behind the door that reads “No visitors beyond this point” “Surgeons and patients only”
I cringe; she’s in there. My Nina is in there and I can’t go save her, I can’t go help her and the thought is rotting me from the inside out.
“Harry!” I hear a panicked voice from behind me. It’s Lou, Zayn, Niall, Liam, El, Perrie, Ella, Dani and Tia. The whole group came.
“Guys” I say, trying to sound excited but failing miserably. I break down into tears as I approach them. Their faces turn into something I’ve never seen, they don’t know how to react and I don’t blame them, El and Tia are crying quietly while covering their mouths.
“Harry talk to us” Niall presses on stepping forward revealing two more people behind him and Zayn.
“Mom?” I whisper and I could be happier, she rushes up to me, hugging me hard.
“I’m here son, everything is going to be okay,” She says into my ear.
“She flew in about an hour after you left yesterday,” Zayn divulges
“Now tell us, what’s happened” Mom asks me, holding my hands.
“She-“ I feel the tears build up “She’s not okay mom” my head falls onto her shoulder.
“She’s going to be okay,” she sounds so confident I don’t even want to start telling her the extent of Nina’s injury. All the boys look glossy eyed.
I shake my head slowly, curling my lips inward.
“Harold Edward Styles, Nina needs you to be strong for her, she needs you to think positive” She says sternly
“Where is she? Where’s my dad?” Tia says between sobs
“Nina’s in surgery fighting for her life and I don’t know where your dad is” I say with anger at the end, her dad did this to my Nina.
We make our way to the chairs and take up about a whole row of them. I can’t stare at these walls anymore, I feel myself break more and more every moment I sit here, but I’m going to sit here, because the love of my life needs me here and for once I’m going to be here for her, I’m not going to my band commitments I’m here for my Nina. I just want to see her; I miss seeing her big brown eyes light up when I entered a room she was in. I miss holding her at night, I miss the way her nose would crinkle when she was concentrating on homework, I miss the way she’d put her head on my chest when we’d be sleeping I miss smelling her perfume around my apartment, fuck I just miss her and I need her back, healthy and back.
“So what did you guys find? When you got there?” Liam asks me, I hold a sleeping Ella in my arms to distract me. I look up at him.
“We saw Nina from the aircraft on the floor, when we landed we saw Wyatt, he was in a frenzy saying all this crazy stuff and then he broke down”
“Where is Wyatt?” El looks over
“He went back on the emergency rescue boat that was near, I think they took him to the Sacramento hospital, it was closer and Nina’s injuries we’re worse so we flew her” Mom places her hand on mine and squeezes it gently
“She stopped breathing on the flight” I say staring at the walls, my voice so full of pain I barely recognize it.
“It was the worst thing I’ve ever been through” I look down at my shoes.
“I have to feed the baby Harry” Dani comes up and takes Ella out of my hands.
“I haven’t heard from my mom” Tia frowns
“Call her” Niall says while wrapping his arm around her
“Come with me please” She urges him, he obliges.
“Harry the media is surrounding the hospital, we need to talk about our move in the tour” Zayn and Lous stare at me while Liam speaks
“That’s the last thing I want to talk about right now” I state sharply
“You can’t just avoid it” Lou says harshly
“Oh sorry, where’s your girlfriend lou?” I ask, aware that Eleanor is sitting beside him.
“She- she’s right here?” He says confused
“Exactly, where’s my girlfriend? Where’s Nina lou?” I shout at him, his eyes look like he takes back his last five minutes of talking.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that” he says frantically
“Whatever” I stand and walk out of the waiting room. Marching down a random hall.
Louis’s P.O.V
“I didn’t mean it like that!” I say to Anne, who is completely composed.
“We know, but Harry isn’t himself right now” She reassures me
“Should I go after him?” I look from Perrie to El
“Maybe give him some space, he’s going through allot, wait a bit” Perrie smiles a broken smile at me.
“I just, I didn’t know this was going to happen, I never thought in a million years” I run my hand through my hair
“None of us saw this coming” Zayn places his hand on Perrie’s thigh.
Doctor Sheppard (Nina’s Surgeons P.O.V)
“Can I get some suction?” I say as I finish reviving the patient for the 4th time.
“There’s so many bleeders” Doctor Hange observes the patients destroyed cavity.
“How is she still alive” I whisper
“This is really a miracle,” Hange says again for the 15th time in the past 2 hours.
“She was a kidnap victim,” I answer
“She’s not meant to die yet”
“Even if we do this stabilizing surgery she’s not going to be able to go home for months- at least” Hange changes tools
“At least she’s going to be alive”
I speak too soon.
“She’s crashing! We have no pulse”
“Turn on bypass!” I command
“Hange massage the heart!” I yell and attach the electric pads to her chest.
“Clear!” I yell
“Push one on eppy!”
“Clear!”
“Beep… beep… beep” We hear the flat line noise from the monitor end and regular pulse steadies
“That’s the fifth time she’s flat lined” Hange speaks while bowing his head.
“Hinge calls the pediatrician wing”
“Why?”
“Our patient is pregnant, we can’t go any further until we know we aren’t harming the baby” I speak loudly making sure everyone hears me.
“You, go alert the family that the baby as of right now is safe but could be potentially harmed,” I point to a random intern and he scurries out of the room like a lost dog.
Louis P.O.V
It’s been twenty minutes and Harry isn’t back.
“I’m going to go find him” I stand and walk down the hallway he did.
I find him sitting on the floor, staring at his fingers.
“I didn’t mean it like that” I say, he looks up.
“I know,” He states
“You know we’re brothers and no matter what happens I’m always here for you” I sit down beside him
“I just can’t leave Lou” He looks distraught
“I know how hard this must be for you, Simon understands” I look over at him; he’s still staring at his fingers.
“I just never knew it would feel like this you know? Being so close to someone and then losing them” His voice breaks
Harry's P.O.V
“You haven’t lost her, she’s still alive” Lou reasures me
“Mr. Styles!” the doctor who talked to me before walks up the hallway with a smile on his face. My face lights up
She’s safe
She’s okay
She’s awake
“I have good news and bad news” He looks from me to Lou, Lou stands up.
“Tell me the bad news” I brace myself
“We can’t continue surgery until we have the clear from the Peds unit” He frowns and I have no idea what that means
“I don’t understand” My eye brows furrow
“Well that’s the good news, the baby is safe right now but the-“ Everything he says mutes, I stare at him in shock
“Wait…” I cut him off; Lou is wide eyed and scared
“Did you say baby?” I clear my throat
“Yes, she’s about 12 weeks” He looks as confused as Louis and I
I don’t know how to react, I’m so emotionally drained I’m at loss for words. I run my hands through my hair and exhale.
“Does this come as a surprise to you?” The doctor inquires
I nod and my head falls into my hands.
“We can do a paternity test if…” I look up at him in horror and Lou is quick to answer
“No the baby is defiantly his”
“Okay, well I’ll check back once we hear from Peds” He turns away and walks back
I stare at Lou and he stares back at me.
“I don’t know what to say” I frown and the lump comes back into my throat.
A kid… I don’t want a kid… Nina doesn’t want a kid…
“Fuck!” I yell and throw my water bottle across the hallway.
I stare at the sterile white walls of the hospital, I don’t move from my chair I just stare at them like I have for the past hour. The tears from my most recent sob are drying up, making my cheeks feel patchy. Where are they boys…. I lean my head back up against the wall.
A doctor, clearly dressed for surgery walks out of a doorway and stands in front of all the waiting room chairs.
“Family of Nina Marie Antoinette Vinci?” He calls out and my heart leaps into my throat. I stand and remove my sunglasses “Tha-That’s me” His eyes widen in shock; clearly he knows who I am.
“Nina is still in surgery and wont be out for a while, few more hours at least” He speaks, sounding so tired he might pass out. Pain and sadness find its way back into my stomach.
“Is- she okay?” I croak, blinking my eyes quickly.
“We’re doing everything we can” He gives me a small smile but his eyes look sympathetic. If she’s going to die why can’t he fucking tell me? Anger starts making its way up my body; I clench my fists and nod.
“We’ll keep you posted, if anything happens- he pauses- we’ll let you know, I’ll check back with you in a few hours” He smiles that fake doctor smile once again before returning back behind the door that reads “No visitors beyond this point” “Surgeons and patients only”
I cringe; she’s in there. My Nina is in there and I can’t go save her, I can’t go help her and the thought is rotting me from the inside out.
“Harry!” I hear a panicked voice from behind me. It’s Lou, Zayn, Niall, Liam, El, Perrie, Ella, Dani and Tia. The whole group came.
“Guys” I say, trying to sound excited but failing miserably. I break down into tears as I approach them. Their faces turn into something I’ve never seen, they don’t know how to react and I don’t blame them, El and Tia are crying quietly while covering their mouths.
“Harry talk to us” Niall presses on stepping forward revealing two more people behind him and Zayn.
“Mom?” I whisper and I could be happier, she rushes up to me, hugging me hard.
“I’m here son, everything is going to be okay,” She says into my ear.
“She flew in about an hour after you left yesterday,” Zayn divulges
“Now tell us, what’s happened” Mom asks me, holding my hands.
“She-“ I feel the tears build up “She’s not okay mom” my head falls onto her shoulder.
“She’s going to be okay,” she sounds so confident I don’t even want to start telling her the extent of Nina’s injury. All the boys look glossy eyed.
I shake my head slowly, curling my lips inward.
“Harold Edward Styles, Nina needs you to be strong for her, she needs you to think positive” She says sternly
“Where is she? Where’s my dad?” Tia says between sobs
“Nina’s in surgery fighting for her life and I don’t know where your dad is” I say with anger at the end, her dad did this to my Nina.
We make our way to the chairs and take up about a whole row of them. I can’t stare at these walls anymore, I feel myself break more and more every moment I sit here, but I’m going to sit here, because the love of my life needs me here and for once I’m going to be here for her, I’m not going to my band commitments I’m here for my Nina. I just want to see her; I miss seeing her big brown eyes light up when I entered a room she was in. I miss holding her at night, I miss the way her nose would crinkle when she was concentrating on homework, I miss the way she’d put her head on my chest when we’d be sleeping I miss smelling her perfume around my apartment, fuck I just miss her and I need her back, healthy and back.
“So what did you guys find? When you got there?” Liam asks me, I hold a sleeping Ella in my arms to distract me. I look up at him.
“We saw Nina from the aircraft on the floor, when we landed we saw Wyatt, he was in a frenzy saying all this crazy stuff and then he broke down”
“Where is Wyatt?” El looks over
“He went back on the emergency rescue boat that was near, I think they took him to the Sacramento hospital, it was closer and Nina’s injuries we’re worse so we flew her” Mom places her hand on mine and squeezes it gently
“She stopped breathing on the flight” I say staring at the walls, my voice so full of pain I barely recognize it.
“It was the worst thing I’ve ever been through” I look down at my shoes.
“I have to feed the baby Harry” Dani comes up and takes Ella out of my hands.
“I haven’t heard from my mom” Tia frowns
“Call her” Niall says while wrapping his arm around her
“Come with me please” She urges him, he obliges.
“Harry the media is surrounding the hospital, we need to talk about our move in the tour” Zayn and Lous stare at me while Liam speaks
“That’s the last thing I want to talk about right now” I state sharply
“You can’t just avoid it” Lou says harshly
“Oh sorry, where’s your girlfriend lou?” I ask, aware that Eleanor is sitting beside him.
“She- she’s right here?” He says confused
“Exactly, where’s my girlfriend? Where’s Nina lou?” I shout at him, his eyes look like he takes back his last five minutes of talking.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that” he says frantically
“Whatever” I stand and walk out of the waiting room. Marching down a random hall.
Louis’s P.O.V
“I didn’t mean it like that!” I say to Anne, who is completely composed.
“We know, but Harry isn’t himself right now” She reassures me
“Should I go after him?” I look from Perrie to El
“Maybe give him some space, he’s going through allot, wait a bit” Perrie smiles a broken smile at me.
“I just, I didn’t know this was going to happen, I never thought in a million years” I run my hand through my hair
“None of us saw this coming” Zayn places his hand on Perrie’s thigh.
Doctor Sheppard (Nina’s Surgeons P.O.V)
“Can I get some suction?” I say as I finish reviving the patient for the 4th time.
“There’s so many bleeders” Doctor Hange observes the patients destroyed cavity.
“How is she still alive” I whisper
“This is really a miracle,” Hange says again for the 15th time in the past 2 hours.
“She was a kidnap victim,” I answer
“She’s not meant to die yet”
“Even if we do this stabilizing surgery she’s not going to be able to go home for months- at least” Hange changes tools
“At least she’s going to be alive”
I speak too soon.
“She’s crashing! We have no pulse”
“Turn on bypass!” I command
“Hange massage the heart!” I yell and attach the electric pads to her chest.
“Clear!” I yell
“Push one on eppy!”
“Clear!”
“Beep… beep… beep” We hear the flat line noise from the monitor end and regular pulse steadies
“That’s the fifth time she’s flat lined” Hange speaks while bowing his head.
“Hinge calls the pediatrician wing”
“Why?”
“Our patient is pregnant, we can’t go any further until we know we aren’t harming the baby” I speak loudly making sure everyone hears me.
“You, go alert the family that the baby as of right now is safe but could be potentially harmed,” I point to a random intern and he scurries out of the room like a lost dog.
Louis P.O.V
It’s been twenty minutes and Harry isn’t back.
“I’m going to go find him” I stand and walk down the hallway he did.
I find him sitting on the floor, staring at his fingers.
“I didn’t mean it like that” I say, he looks up.
“I know,” He states
“You know we’re brothers and no matter what happens I’m always here for you” I sit down beside him
“I just can’t leave Lou” He looks distraught
“I know how hard this must be for you, Simon understands” I look over at him; he’s still staring at his fingers.
“I just never knew it would feel like this you know? Being so close to someone and then losing them” His voice breaks
Harry's P.O.V
“You haven’t lost her, she’s still alive” Lou reasures me
“Mr. Styles!” the doctor who talked to me before walks up the hallway with a smile on his face. My face lights up
She’s safe
She’s okay
She’s awake
“I have good news and bad news” He looks from me to Lou, Lou stands up.
“Tell me the bad news” I brace myself
“We can’t continue surgery until we have the clear from the Peds unit” He frowns and I have no idea what that means
“I don’t understand” My eye brows furrow
“Well that’s the good news, the baby is safe right now but the-“ Everything he says mutes, I stare at him in shock
“Wait…” I cut him off; Lou is wide eyed and scared
“Did you say baby?” I clear my throat
“Yes, she’s about 12 weeks” He looks as confused as Louis and I
I don’t know how to react, I’m so emotionally drained I’m at loss for words. I run my hands through my hair and exhale.
“Does this come as a surprise to you?” The doctor inquires
I nod and my head falls into my hands.
“We can do a paternity test if…” I look up at him in horror and Lou is quick to answer
“No the baby is defiantly his”
“Okay, well I’ll check back once we hear from Peds” He turns away and walks back
I stare at Lou and he stares back at me.
“I don’t know what to say” I frown and the lump comes back into my throat.
A kid… I don’t want a kid… Nina doesn’t want a kid…
“Fuck!” I yell and throw my water bottle across the hallway.
Notes
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There were two versions of this chapter that I wrote, be happy i picked this one ;)
@march5th
Please update again pwease!
2/22/16