Rate: 9-9.5/10

It is great so far. I love the back story and how you didn't make it some dumb ass gang story like most of the others. Also, it is a wonderful and unique plot. It would be nice if you updated though, so I could get a better feel on it.


It is a little confusing between Ally and Alycia, and since Ally is only going to come into the story more, I recommend replacing her name to get rid of any confusion later on. Also, I have trouble pronouncing Ally's real name in my head but that doesn't matter.

Your grammar is nearly perfect. The few mistakes are barely noticeable and do not change the story's epicness. Spelling is as close to flawless as it can be (without being completely flawless).

I have a bit of trouble following what happens at times, but within a few sentences, it is more understandable.

Overall it is amazayn, but you might want to update more to keep readers interested. I love it!

Notes

Please note that this is my opinion. If you do not agree then that is ok. Also, this is constructive criticism, so DO NOT go all bitch mode on me. This is a note to EVERYONE who has a story I rate.


Keep commenting!

-Kennedy