HALF A HEART
Chapter 38
Annie’s POV
**Flashback**
“You’re going where?” My mom asked me as she followed me up the stairs to my room. Harry had left ten minutes ago and it took me all of five minutes to make my decision.
“I’m going to the States for the weekend mom. I have to get out of here. I’ve been so stressed lately.” I said as I walked over to my closet and pulled my suitcase out and plopped it on the bed.
“Don’t you think you should stay here for Harry?”
I stopped what I was doing and closed my eyes as I took a deep breath. A knot formed in my throat as tears rimmed my eyes. “He doesn’t remember me mom.” I looked at her, “I’ve tried everything.”
“But he may in time. Or maybe you just have to rekindle what you guys had before?” She sat on my bed and watched me begin to pack.
“I love him more than words can describe mom,” I let the tears stream out of me eyes, “I don’t want to make him feel like he HAS to date me again. I don’t want him to feel tied down to me. It’s not fair especially when he just doesn’t remember.” I turned around and walked over to my closet to grab a couple outfits out for the weekend.
“That’s incredibly mature of you Annie.”
I smiled at her from my position in front of my dresser. “I just need to get out of here for a couple days. I think both of us just need to think about something else. Harry needs to focus on what he DOES remember and that’s the guys and his music. That’s all of his friends at school. I’m just getting in the way of him getting back into a normal routine…” The tears continued to pour down my cheeks and it was hard to speak around the knot that had enlarged in my throat.
I stopped messing with the jewelry on top of my dresser and let the tears come more easily. My body was so emotionally weak from the past few months. My fight with Harry about Celine seemed centuries ago and it didn’t bring me pain anymore. My heart beat with a new poison: knowing that the man I love doesn’t remember who I am and the incredible friendship we had. I’ve never met a single person as genuine and caring as Harry.
My mom walked over to me and gave me a hug. She kissed the top of my head and then rubbed my back in small circles before she stepped away. “I’ll see you on Sunday my love.” She whispered and with that she turned around and walked out of my room.
**End of Flashback**
I laid my head back against the airplane chair and closed my eyes as the memory washed over me. I’d give anything to go back to how things used to be. I wish I could go to the bakery where Harry works and admire him as he made bread, getting flour literally EVERYWHERE. I missed coming down my stairs in the morning to the smell of freshly made pancakes drowning in syrup and seeing him in my mom’s pink apron. I miss him doing anything he could to make me laugh and I missed how he would laugh at how much I was laughing. I miss going to the boys’ gigs and staring into Harry’s emerald eyes as he sang to me.
“Are you alright miss?” The man next to me asked and I lifted my head and wiped my dripping cheeks.
“Yessir. I’ve just been through a lot lately and having an eight hour plane ride really lets me think about it.” I chuckled a little bit.
“Can I offer a word of advice?” He removed his spectacles as he set down his book and I took in his appearance for the first time. He looked middle aged with black hair that had individual strands of gray hair scattered sporadically throughout his scalp. He had wrinkles on the corners of his eyes and mouth telling me that he’d had a life FILLED with laughter and good times.
“Of course.”
“Smile.” He said simply and when I looked at him quizzically he explained. “Smile, because everything else is uncertain. Smile, because everything happens for a reason. Smile, because you can’t control the majority of the things that happen in your life. Smile, and let the wind take you where it wants to take you.” I felt the corners of my mouth twitch into a smile. “There yah go love.” He smiled at me and put his spectacles back on his nose before he opened his book again.
I walked the stoned path like I had done a hundred times before. A mass of memories resurfaced in my mind as I continued to walk, ignoring the wind that blew my curls around my shoulders. I crammed my hands into my pockets. Tears streamed down my cheeks again…but not for the same reason as the past few months…
I remembered the first time I walked this path… I was eight… I was too young to understand what was going on… I was too young to understand that lasting impact the events of the past week would have on me… I sniffled as I tried to remember the few memories I had before that tragic day…
…He’d take me to the park and push me on the swings until I couldn’t go any higher. I remember feeling like I could fly.
…Every other Saturday in the summer he’d take me for ice cream down my the beach and then we’d watch the ocean to see if we could spot any dolphins or whales.
… He would turn the radio up to full blast as he cooked steaks for Sunday night football.
…Each time I saw him he’d pick me up as he hugged me and would say, “How’s my sunshine?”
… He always played Queen and The Beatles in the car and he would belt the words out even if he was completely out of tune.
I wiped my eyes as the memories flooded over me. I made a turn and continued walking down the path. I took another turn and walked up a few stairs as I came into a grassy field with different stones lined in perfect columns. I walked down the rows not having to look for what I came here for… I knew where it was…
I stopped in front of one stone and stared down at it as more tears rimmed eyes and spilled down my cheeks. “H—Hey daddy…” I whispered. I knelt down next to the stone, ignoring the moisture that seeped into my jeans as I sat. I stroked the stone a couple of times before I was unable to move; my sobs came out of me hurriedly as I bent over in pain.
“Daddy, I don’t know what to do.” I whimpered, “What do I do when I feel like everything I had is gone. What do I do when everything was perfect and now could hardly get worse?”
There was one memory that stuck in my mind like glue… My last conversation with him…
**Flashback**
“Come here and sit on my lap sunshine.” My dad said from the couch in the living room of my LA house. His oxygen tank beeped periodically and his skin looked pasty and worn.
I skipped over to him and hopped into his lap. “What’s the matter daddy?” I asked. My eight-year-old eyes watched in worry and fear as my dad’s eyes rimmed with tears. “Don’t cry daddy.”
“Daddy’s sick sunshine.” He croaked.
“But you’ll get better! Right daddy?” I smiled at him, but my smile was instantly wiped off my face when he didn’t return the gesture.
“Do you know what cancer is Annie?” He asked simply and I shook my head. “Cancer doesn’t like us sunshine. Cancer likes to take over our body,” He coughed, “And make our body stop working. And sometimes it’s hard to get the cancer out,” He paused, “And sometimes it can’t be taken out.”
“Do you have cancer daddy?” I asked quietly. He nodded as tears streamed down his cheeks. “But you’ll get cancer out right daddy? Cancer doesn’t deserve to be in you daddy.”
“I know sunshine. Sometimes life doesn’t do what we want it to and sometimes it takes a turn for the worst,” He paused, “Daddy can’t get the cancer out sunshine. Daddy’s body isn’t working right.”
“No daddy!” I cried and wrapped my short arms around his neck.
“I have to talk to you about something sunshine.” He said and I looked at him as tears streamed down my cheeks. “You have to go through life with your head held high. Show the world how amazing you are and never doubt yourself. You’re strong and you can conquer anything you put your mind to.”
“I don’t want you to go daddy.”
“It’s my time sunshine. It’s just my time.” He continued speaking after I nodded. “Now at some point in your life you’re going to meet a boy that will claim your heart. Just make sure that he’s your best friend and makes you feel like you’re a princess. If he doesn’t do that then he doesn’t deserve my sunshine.”
“Okay daddy.” I said quietly though at the time I wasn’t entirely positive of what he meant.
“Now when you do meet that special someone, I want you to give him this okay?” He said and he handed me a CD in a clear case that was titled “For Him.” I took it from his hands and wrapped my arms around his neck again and cried into his shoulder…
He died the next day…
**End of Flashback**
I thought of the CD that occupied a space in one of my dresser drawers at my home in London. I couldn’t imagine being in my father’s shoes as he tried to tell me every life lesson he had up his sleeve in a few hours whereas a few decades. The funeral the next day was one of the hardest days of my life… I stood up from where I sat as I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and continued looking at the headstone. I’d give anything to have him here with me again; to hear his voice again and for him to call me sunshine. I missed him…
“Annie?” I heard a voice say.
I felt myself flinch. I hadn’t thought anyone else was here. I knew that voice but my mind couldn’t fathom that this person could be here. I looked up and saw a figure masked by the sunlight behind him.
“Harry.” I breathed.
**Flashback**
“You’re going where?” My mom asked me as she followed me up the stairs to my room. Harry had left ten minutes ago and it took me all of five minutes to make my decision.
“I’m going to the States for the weekend mom. I have to get out of here. I’ve been so stressed lately.” I said as I walked over to my closet and pulled my suitcase out and plopped it on the bed.
“Don’t you think you should stay here for Harry?”
I stopped what I was doing and closed my eyes as I took a deep breath. A knot formed in my throat as tears rimmed my eyes. “He doesn’t remember me mom.” I looked at her, “I’ve tried everything.”
“But he may in time. Or maybe you just have to rekindle what you guys had before?” She sat on my bed and watched me begin to pack.
“I love him more than words can describe mom,” I let the tears stream out of me eyes, “I don’t want to make him feel like he HAS to date me again. I don’t want him to feel tied down to me. It’s not fair especially when he just doesn’t remember.” I turned around and walked over to my closet to grab a couple outfits out for the weekend.
“That’s incredibly mature of you Annie.”
I smiled at her from my position in front of my dresser. “I just need to get out of here for a couple days. I think both of us just need to think about something else. Harry needs to focus on what he DOES remember and that’s the guys and his music. That’s all of his friends at school. I’m just getting in the way of him getting back into a normal routine…” The tears continued to pour down my cheeks and it was hard to speak around the knot that had enlarged in my throat.
I stopped messing with the jewelry on top of my dresser and let the tears come more easily. My body was so emotionally weak from the past few months. My fight with Harry about Celine seemed centuries ago and it didn’t bring me pain anymore. My heart beat with a new poison: knowing that the man I love doesn’t remember who I am and the incredible friendship we had. I’ve never met a single person as genuine and caring as Harry.
My mom walked over to me and gave me a hug. She kissed the top of my head and then rubbed my back in small circles before she stepped away. “I’ll see you on Sunday my love.” She whispered and with that she turned around and walked out of my room.
**End of Flashback**
I laid my head back against the airplane chair and closed my eyes as the memory washed over me. I’d give anything to go back to how things used to be. I wish I could go to the bakery where Harry works and admire him as he made bread, getting flour literally EVERYWHERE. I missed coming down my stairs in the morning to the smell of freshly made pancakes drowning in syrup and seeing him in my mom’s pink apron. I miss him doing anything he could to make me laugh and I missed how he would laugh at how much I was laughing. I miss going to the boys’ gigs and staring into Harry’s emerald eyes as he sang to me.
“Are you alright miss?” The man next to me asked and I lifted my head and wiped my dripping cheeks.
“Yessir. I’ve just been through a lot lately and having an eight hour plane ride really lets me think about it.” I chuckled a little bit.
“Can I offer a word of advice?” He removed his spectacles as he set down his book and I took in his appearance for the first time. He looked middle aged with black hair that had individual strands of gray hair scattered sporadically throughout his scalp. He had wrinkles on the corners of his eyes and mouth telling me that he’d had a life FILLED with laughter and good times.
“Of course.”
“Smile.” He said simply and when I looked at him quizzically he explained. “Smile, because everything else is uncertain. Smile, because everything happens for a reason. Smile, because you can’t control the majority of the things that happen in your life. Smile, and let the wind take you where it wants to take you.” I felt the corners of my mouth twitch into a smile. “There yah go love.” He smiled at me and put his spectacles back on his nose before he opened his book again.
I walked the stoned path like I had done a hundred times before. A mass of memories resurfaced in my mind as I continued to walk, ignoring the wind that blew my curls around my shoulders. I crammed my hands into my pockets. Tears streamed down my cheeks again…but not for the same reason as the past few months…
I remembered the first time I walked this path… I was eight… I was too young to understand what was going on… I was too young to understand that lasting impact the events of the past week would have on me… I sniffled as I tried to remember the few memories I had before that tragic day…
…He’d take me to the park and push me on the swings until I couldn’t go any higher. I remember feeling like I could fly.
…Every other Saturday in the summer he’d take me for ice cream down my the beach and then we’d watch the ocean to see if we could spot any dolphins or whales.
… He would turn the radio up to full blast as he cooked steaks for Sunday night football.
…Each time I saw him he’d pick me up as he hugged me and would say, “How’s my sunshine?”
… He always played Queen and The Beatles in the car and he would belt the words out even if he was completely out of tune.
I wiped my eyes as the memories flooded over me. I made a turn and continued walking down the path. I took another turn and walked up a few stairs as I came into a grassy field with different stones lined in perfect columns. I walked down the rows not having to look for what I came here for… I knew where it was…
I stopped in front of one stone and stared down at it as more tears rimmed eyes and spilled down my cheeks. “H—Hey daddy…” I whispered. I knelt down next to the stone, ignoring the moisture that seeped into my jeans as I sat. I stroked the stone a couple of times before I was unable to move; my sobs came out of me hurriedly as I bent over in pain.
“Daddy, I don’t know what to do.” I whimpered, “What do I do when I feel like everything I had is gone. What do I do when everything was perfect and now could hardly get worse?”
There was one memory that stuck in my mind like glue… My last conversation with him…
**Flashback**
“Come here and sit on my lap sunshine.” My dad said from the couch in the living room of my LA house. His oxygen tank beeped periodically and his skin looked pasty and worn.
I skipped over to him and hopped into his lap. “What’s the matter daddy?” I asked. My eight-year-old eyes watched in worry and fear as my dad’s eyes rimmed with tears. “Don’t cry daddy.”
“Daddy’s sick sunshine.” He croaked.
“But you’ll get better! Right daddy?” I smiled at him, but my smile was instantly wiped off my face when he didn’t return the gesture.
“Do you know what cancer is Annie?” He asked simply and I shook my head. “Cancer doesn’t like us sunshine. Cancer likes to take over our body,” He coughed, “And make our body stop working. And sometimes it’s hard to get the cancer out,” He paused, “And sometimes it can’t be taken out.”
“Do you have cancer daddy?” I asked quietly. He nodded as tears streamed down his cheeks. “But you’ll get cancer out right daddy? Cancer doesn’t deserve to be in you daddy.”
“I know sunshine. Sometimes life doesn’t do what we want it to and sometimes it takes a turn for the worst,” He paused, “Daddy can’t get the cancer out sunshine. Daddy’s body isn’t working right.”
“No daddy!” I cried and wrapped my short arms around his neck.
“I have to talk to you about something sunshine.” He said and I looked at him as tears streamed down my cheeks. “You have to go through life with your head held high. Show the world how amazing you are and never doubt yourself. You’re strong and you can conquer anything you put your mind to.”
“I don’t want you to go daddy.”
“It’s my time sunshine. It’s just my time.” He continued speaking after I nodded. “Now at some point in your life you’re going to meet a boy that will claim your heart. Just make sure that he’s your best friend and makes you feel like you’re a princess. If he doesn’t do that then he doesn’t deserve my sunshine.”
“Okay daddy.” I said quietly though at the time I wasn’t entirely positive of what he meant.
“Now when you do meet that special someone, I want you to give him this okay?” He said and he handed me a CD in a clear case that was titled “For Him.” I took it from his hands and wrapped my arms around his neck again and cried into his shoulder…
He died the next day…
**End of Flashback**
I thought of the CD that occupied a space in one of my dresser drawers at my home in London. I couldn’t imagine being in my father’s shoes as he tried to tell me every life lesson he had up his sleeve in a few hours whereas a few decades. The funeral the next day was one of the hardest days of my life… I stood up from where I sat as I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and continued looking at the headstone. I’d give anything to have him here with me again; to hear his voice again and for him to call me sunshine. I missed him…
“Annie?” I heard a voice say.
I felt myself flinch. I hadn’t thought anyone else was here. I knew that voice but my mind couldn’t fathom that this person could be here. I looked up and saw a figure masked by the sunlight behind him.
“Harry.” I breathed.
Notes
AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I CANT BELIEVE HALF A HEART HAS 100 VOTES AND IT'S ON THE FIRST PAGE OF THE POPULAR SECTION!!!! I saw that it was today and I actually started crying I'm so happy :') Thank you to everyone who has been reading this story and commenting on it. Like I've said before, it means the WORLD to me when I see that people are enjoying what I write(:
***COMMENT RATE AND SUBSCRIBE***
Did I mention it's on the First Page of the Popular Section? Yes? AHHHHHHHH!!!! ARBGASBEGAIEBGA[WEBGAW[EOIFDFAOS!!!!!! :D
Questions:
How is this reunion gonna be?
*** Btw guys what the man on the plane said is something that I strongly believe in(: I wanted to incorporate some of those things in this story.***
Please go read "A Love Story" by Leila Judeh. She's a good friend of mine on this cite so go read her story and rate and comment what you think(: Thanks guys .xx
Inspirational Quote: "Everything happens for a reason so embrace life and live it to its fullest." <3
LOVE YOU GUYS MORE THAN I LOVE FOOOOD!!!! <3 :D
~JoseyWhite
Chapter 22 is my fav chapter!!
11/9/16