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Show Me The Way

Chapter 8

EVIE’S POV:

The way Zayn looked at me earlier, for a second I thought he might kiss me. But he didn’t, and I don’t know why I had been so sure. But the moment was over, and we walked the rest of the way to the movie theatre; him making normal conversation, and me feeling really confused and awkward.

Now, sitting in the darkened theatre, with Zayn just inches away from me, It was a miracle that I wasn’t drooling. We each had a soda, and were sharing a box of candy. He handed it to me, our fingers brushing. I felt my cheeks blush, my heart racing as he smiled at me. What the hell was wrong with me? I wasn’t supposed to be like this! We were friends, why was that so difficult ?!
“This is my favorite part.” I whispered, leaning over towards Zayn. John Bender was crawling through the school’s ceiling, telling that ridiculous joke, when he fell through, into the library. My eye’s drifted from the screen, finding Zayn’s, who I noticed was looking right at me.
A minute later, Claire was with John in the supply closet together, and they were this close to kissing. I suddenly felt slightly more uncomfortable, the realization that Zayn was right next to me... It was all a bit much.

The rest of the movie went by in a blur that I was unable to completely remember. The movie is one i’d seen a million times, I could say every single word without faltering. I had just been distracted by Zayn’s hand resting behind my head on the back of my seat, and when he would ask me question or something, the heat from his skin giving my goosebumps, or the overwhelming scent of his cologne filling my senses.
I was so distracted by Zayn, I had almost forgotten about what happened earlier, with that girl on the street.

I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, but I wasn’t really able to completely let it go. It hurt, it was scary. I didn’t know how to react, or what to do when people say the types of things to me like what that girl said.

“Hey, talk to me.” Zayn said as we left the movie theatre.
“What?” I said, forcing a smile in his direction. I wasn’t angry, just overwhelmed. my head was filled with so many thoughts.
“You seem like you’re in another world. What’s goin’ on in there?” He said, tapping my head jokingly. I laughed lightly.
“I dunno... A lot. Just, earlier- it was just, really weird. And I don’t wanna be dramatic or anything, but I never thought it would be something I would have to deal with. I’m nothing special, getting stopped on the street is still a foreign thing, you know? So yeah, that’s kinda it I guess...”
“You’re wrong.” He said simply.
“Huh?”
“You’re something special. Really special.” I stopped walking, looking at him. And I got that same feeling I had earlier, the one where I wanted to kiss him, and it sort of seemed like he wanted to kiss me too. But again, neither of us did. because I was insane and delusional and of course he doesn’t want to kiss me, because why the hell would he ?! This wasn’t just anyone; This was Zayn Fucking Malik. I was well aware that he could get any girl he wanted. And that fact that we were actually friends was still kind of insane to think about. I mean, I may not have really known too much about him. But since we first met, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t done a bit of research. So I now sort of knew who I was dealing with; The guy who breaks girl’s hearts on the regular, who got wasted at nightclubs and comes stumbling out at 3 AM with a different variation of the same leggy bimbo every night, the guy who had pictures of him smoking weed leaked online and never managed to get around to apologizing publicly about it. But, If personal experience was any indication, I don’t actually think he was sorry.
But even after learning all that, I still couldn’t help myself. I still liked him; As a friend, or more.
“...You’re doing it again.” I heard Zayn say, snapping me back into reality.
“What?”
“That thing you do when your eyes glaze over and even if i’m talking, it’s obvious that you’re not listening to a word I’m saying.” He chuckled.
“I’m sorry. I was just... thinking. What were you saying?”
“Well, I was saying, I think you need to let off some steam. So, we should go to that place around the corner from my flat, and... get a drink.”
Without a minute’s hesitation, I responded;
“That sounds perfect.”

ZAYN’S POV:

So, taking a girl who was barely 5’3” out drinking maybe wasn’t the best idea. Evie was adorable; she was trying to stay all cool, but it was obvious that she didn’t know how to hold her liquor. I’m not exactly sure how many drink’s she’d had, but it was enough for her to be at the phase of drunkenness where you’re just tired; completely and utterly exhausted. Which is why she was currently sitting at a bar stool, her head resting on my shoulder.
“Alright, babe. I think it’s time we got you back to my place, sleep this off.” It hadn’t been my plan to get her smashed; that one honestly had been all her. She took some shots, had a beer, and since then it was all downhill. I couldn’t help but think that there was more going on with her than the altercation with that girl earlier. There had to be something else.
“But i’m not even tireddd...” She said, her words slurred.
“I know, but trust me. You’ll thank me for this later.”
“I trust you...” She said quietly, linking her arms around my neck. I held her around her small waist, holding her up and walking us out of the pub.
Once we were outside the cold air seemed to wake her up a bit.
“You know, I actually like it here? I never thought I would.”
“London, you mean?”
“Yeah; London. It’s nice. You’re nice. You make it even nicer...” She said, pulling away from me and walking unsteadily down the cobblestone roads.
“Well, thanks.” I laughed. I’m glad she wasn’t actually paying attention to me that much, since I was pretty sure my face would’ve told her how much I liked hearing that.
“I mean, I thought I would hate it, you know? Moving around so much sucks. but this... was good... It’s making me forget...” I looked up at Evie, who was still just walking ahead of me aimlessly, like she didn’t have a care in the world. But it was clear that wasn’t true, especially from what she had just said. I didn’t want to respond in this way, because I knew it was me taking advantage of her. But I couldn’t stop myself;
“Forget about what?”
She didn’t even flinch; “Just, everything that happened... It’s a really long story. I’ll have to eventually tell you about it.” She spun around on her heels, her hair falling down her shoulders. Her smile fell when she looked at me. I must’ve had a serious look on my face.
“You just, wait until you’re ready to tell me about it. Okay?” The corner of her mouth twitched upwards.
“Yeah, yeah I will.” She responded, walking back towards me, flinging her arms around my neck again. I just stood and watched, taking in her glimmering eyes and wicked smile.
I just fucking wanted her.
I didn’t know what to say. Because everything I wanted to say (or do) wasn’t “allowed”.
“It’s bloody freezing. Let’s get inside, yeah?”

I had waken up next to Evie before, but this one was different.
This time, we were in my bed. And I was shirtless. And she had wiggled out of her jeans at some point.
And we were practically spooning.
I had woken up first, realizing that my arm was wrapped securely around her, her back pressed firmly to my chest. I didn’t want to move, so I just stayed there for a few minutes, enjoying the moment. I felt her chest rise and fall, her steady heartbeat, the little breaths that escaped her mouth as she slept. I never got to experience these little things about her, so I was thankful for the opportunity. But eventually, I knew I needed to pull away. And I did, extremely hesitantly.

I’m not sure how long It had been since I fell back asleep. But when I woke up, apparently hours later, I was shocked to see that the space next to me was empty. I got up, shuffling through my flat, hoping to find Evie on the couch, or in the kitchen. But she was nowhere. Her jacket was gone from the hook near the door, and she hadn’t texted or called.
“Where the hell did she go?” I asked Niall, who was in his room lying on his bed with his laptop next to him and his TV blasting some football game.
“Who?”
“Evie.”
“She was here?” he asked, completely oblivious. As usual.
“Fuck...” I mumbled, leaving Niall.
I felt awkward calling or texting. Obviously she didn’t want to deal with any of the morning-after shit. But there shouldn’t be any to deal with, should there? I mean, I was a friend, helping out a friend, who happened to get pissed drunk the night before. We should be able to wake up the next morning and laugh about it.
So why didn’t I feel like laughing?

__________________________________________________________

I’ve been in a shitty mood for the past few days. Like, a shittier mood than usual.
Actually, that’s a lie.
I’ve been in a shittier mood than i’ve been in since meeting Evie. Sad, but true.
She called and texted a few times, trying to meet up, but I pretended like I was busy. I wasn’t busy. Well, only if you count busy as getting high in my flat and shutting out every single person who tried to come into contact with me. I even ditched Dr. Block.
I don’t know what it was, it didn’t really matter if I knew or not. That’s why I go to a therapist.

Niall was with Grace 99.9% of the time, the other .1% was spent either eating or sleeping, both of which he tried to do with Grace too. It was making me sick, seeing such a fucking happy couple. That sounded terrible; I should be happy that my best mate is happy. I want to be, but I can’t help but still feel that same jealousy.

“It reeks of pot in here, mate. Crack a window or something.” Niall complained, coming into the flat after dinner with Grace. I was surprised she wasn’t with him, usually they retreated into his room and didn't come out for hours.
“Whatever.” I grumbled., not caring or noticing the smell.
“We saw Evie, she said you haven’t been returning her calls” He said, sitting across from me on the couch.
I just shrugged at him, rolling the joint between my fingers.
“Is it true?”
“I guess so.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t feel like talking to her.” That was a lie. Well, not really. I didn’t want to talk. I want to kiss her and touch her and all of the things I couldn’t do with her. I thought of the way she had looked the other night; all messy hair and pouty lips and sparkly eyes. She had fallen onto my bed, tugging off her coat and sweater, so she was just in a thin white t shirt. She eventually got under the covers. I laid down next to her, wondering what I should do, what she wanted me to do. I didn’t touch her, at least not at first.
“She seemed kinda upset...” Niall was saying, I had stopped listening for a few seconds.
“I don’t know what to tell you.” I said, hoping to project my annoyance to get him to leave me alone.
“I’m not leaving you alone.” He said simply. Was Niall a mind reader? “Evie’s the best thing that’s happened to you in ages, don’t fuck it up.”
“I just want to be by myself, Niall. Is that a fucking crime?”
“No, but I don’t really think it’s a good idea.” He shrugged, getting up and going into his room. I held the joint between my fingers for a moment longer, eventually setting it down on the coffee table.
Niall was right.
I hate it when Niall’s right.

Notes

So sorry for the semi-filler chapter, but I hope you still like it :) Thank you so much for your comments and reviews, I appreciate it so so much, like, more than you could imagine. So please let me know what you think, I love talking to you !! also, feel free to message me on tumblr; notarealhipster.tumblr.com

Thanks again !!!

Comments

Love it!
Maura_E Maura_E
10/30/13
unfortunately, i am STILL not able to post on this site for unknown reason, but i just posted the new chapter on my blog yayyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!! so yeah, you can go to notarealhipster.tumblr.com and click on the 'fanfics' tag and all my fics with their newest chapters are there :)
also, i started writing a non-fic story (it's a New Adult romance-fiction thing) called 'Change My Mind'. There's a tab for that on my blog too, so i hope maybe some of you will read it and like it. thank you so much if you do !!!!! <3
notarealhipster notarealhipster
8/20/13
** IMPORTANT **

I'm really sorry guys, but for some reason it isn't letting me post Chapter 28 on here. I've tried a bunch of time,s but it isn't working. But I posted the chapter on my blog HERE so if you wanted to read it, it's there :)
notarealhipster notarealhipster
7/13/13
Its like you never update UGHHH