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Show Me The Way

Chapter 20

ZAYN’S POV:

Evie and I have been running around London for hours, going to all the places she could think of that her brother could possibly be. She was frantic, unable to form a coherent sentence, let alone think straight or logically. Not that I blamed her. If I were in her shoes right now, I’d be freaking the fuck out.
“He has these stupid friends, those people you saw at our house that one time- god knows who they are, if they’re even in school, if they're even his age. I don’t know-” We were back in her neighborhood, Evie was practically running down the streets, and I was just trying to make sure she didn’t get hit by a car.
“You’re calling the shots here, babe. What do you wanna do?” She stopped, turning around to face me, her hair a mess and her eyes wide with fear and concern.
“I have no idea.” Her voice was small, a look of realization falling over her. “What are we even doing? We should go back, right? We should go home, in case he comes back. I think- um, I think that’s the best thing to do. Right?” She was looking at me as if I had all the answers, like I was going to be able to really fix everything. And shit, I wish I could. Anything to make her happy again.
“Yeah. Okay.” Honestly, I didn’t know if that was the right thing to do. But she needed me to take charge right now, that much I knew.

- -

We were sitting on the couch in Evie’s flat, waiting. She was calling her aunt and her brother, trying to reach one of them. Her phone had died, so she was using mine. She could barely sit still, her leg bouncing up and down and the hand that wasn’t holding the phone was shaking. I took her small hand in mine, holding it tight, hoping it was one thing that could help her, calm her just slightly.
“Why the hell isn’t Zoey answering her phone?!” She exclaimed, pressing ‘END CALL’ after being sent to her voicemail, again. She held the phone in her lap, waiting a few minutes before she would call again.
I was thinking, trying to come up with something to say to help, but was coming up blank. Thankfully for me, my internal struggle was interrupted by the house phone ringing. Evie bolted up, rushing into the kitchen.
“Hello?!” I heard the panic in her voice. “Holy shit, Will?! Where the hell are you, i’ve been out for hours looking for you, same with Zoey!-” She paused, I heard her pacing across the floor, tapping her foot to a silent rhythm. “Oh my god.” Her tone changed, shock and sadness in it now. “No. No, Will, no you didn’t. Oh my god.” She stopped, listening to him. “-Yes. Fine. Okay, alright, i’m coming.” I heard her hang up, slamming the phone donw on the counter. “Shit.” She said. I went into the kitchen to find her with her head down, her palms flat against the counter. She looked completely defeated.
“What happened? Where is he?”
“He was arrested.” She said quietly, a veil of hair covering her face from me. I took a step closer, tucking it behind her ear. She still didn’t look at me. “He was at a jail, but now, I don’t-” She stopped, pursing her lips, trying to hold back tears. “I don’t know what happened. But they brought him to a hospital. He’s there now.”
* * *

EVIE’S POV:

Zayn insisted on driving us to the hospital, rather than taking a taxi. I didn’t argue, I didn’t have the energy. Thankfully, his car was just outside my door. We drove in silence, my hands in my lap, shaking uncontrollably. Zayn didn’t say a word, he didn’t try to comfort me, or ask me if I was okay, which I really appreciated. I don’t think I could talk right now even if I wanted to. I was able to call Zoey and tell her what was going on. And thankfully she didn’t ask too many questions either, just said that she would meet us there.

It wasn’t a long drive, less than 20 minutes. But with thoughts running through my head of what Will could have possibly done to end up arrested, it felt like an eternity before we pulled into the small hospital parking lot. But I didn’t get out of the car, didn’t even unbuckle my seatbelt. I couldn’t.
“Ev?” Zayn said, reaching out to touch me, than rethinking it and pulling away.
“I haven’t been in a hospital, um, since-” No. No, I wouldn't cry. Not now. Not yet.
“Oh, god.” This time, Zayn did reach out and touch me. He placed his hand over both of mine.
“I’m okay. I’m fine, really. Sorry-”
“Shh. Don’t apologize.” He rubbed circles on my palm with his thumb.
“We should go in.” I mumbled.
“Can you?”
“I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

- -

Walking through the halls of this hospital I realized that it doesn’t matter what country you’re in, all hospitals are depressing. The bright florescent lights, tiled floors, stark white walls, strong smell of disinfectant, the people; everything made me want to run in the opposite direction. But Zayn held firmly onto my hand, leading the way.
“You sit down, I’ll go and talk to the front desk, alright?” He whispered, placing me in a waiting room. I nodded. He kissed the top of my head before leaving. I felt bad, making him take care of me and do everything I was too afraid to do. But I didn’t complain, I watched as Zayn talked quietly with the woman behind the desk. She was shaking his head at something he was saying. But he didn’t give up, he put on the charm, leaning forward and flashing his perfect smile at her. I saw her type something into her computer and pull out a file, writing something down onto a piece of paper and handing it to him.
“You aren’t able to see him yet, they’re still doing an evaluation. But this is his room number and the name of his doctor.” He handed me the paper.
“Did she say what was wrong with him?”
“She said she didn’t know. He was only brought in a little less than an hour ago.” He sat down next to me, stretching his long legs out in front of him and stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jacket.
“I know you don’t want me to say this, but, I’m so sorry this happened tonight. It was- uh, this has been such an amazing weekend. And now, this’ll be all we can remember of it.” I let a few silent tears fall, quickly wiping them away. I felt him shift in his seat, turning towards me. he nudged my shoulder, urging me to turn and look at him.
“Evie, look at me, please.” His voice was so low and raspy, how could I ever say no to him? I turned to my left, seeing the concern written across his face.
“You need to know how much these past few days have meant to me. I’ve never brought a girl home, ever. No one had ever matter this much, and the fact that my family loves you is just an added bonus. You can trust me, 100%, when I say this this will definitely not be what I remember from this weekend.” He stared at me intently. I reached up and smoothed the worry lines in between his eyebrows.
“Who knows what I would do without you. I’m glad I don’t have to know. No one’s ever done so much for me.” He smiled a tiny smile, holding onto my hand.
“You should never have to deal with this alone...” he looked so sad, like my pain was somehow hurting him. Three words, very important words, rang in my head, begging to be said. but I didn’t want to do that now, not here. Not under these circumstances. I wanted to say them, so much. but I wanted it to be at the right time, at the right moment. And although I knew what I was feeling was real, a small little part of me was scared of telling Zayn those three words that could change everything. I know him well enough by now to know this wouldn’t be something that came easily or naturally to him. What if I scared him away? I don’t know how I would be able to get through something like that.
I was about to open my mouth to say something else, when I heard my name called, by my Aunt Zoey.
“EVIE?! Jesus Christ, I got here as fast as I possible could, where is he?! Why can’t we see him?!” Zoey came rushing in, her heels clacking on the floor. She had clearly been at work, unaware that Will was going around London, getting arrested for doing who knows what.
“Apparently they’re still doing an evaluation, I think we’ll get to see him afterwards.
“Oh my god. I can’t even think straight, I feel like such a screw up. HOW could I let this happen?!”
“It’s not your fault Zoe, he’d have done it no matter what. You know Will...”
“But I could’ve been there, to at least try and stop him. God, I really can’t believe this.” She was hysterical, pacing around with her hand over her eyes.
“Excuse me, family of Will Baylor?” We all turned to see a nurse standing by the door.
“You go ahead, I’ll be right here when you get back. Don’t worry.” Zayn said quietly into my ear, squeezing my hand one more time before I let go of it. I stood up, and went with Zoey down a long hallway, and into Will’s room. There were a few quiet beeps coming from different machines, mostly from the person he was sharing the room with, a curtain was pulled around them. I took a few more steps, coming face-to-face with my brother. Except, he looked different. And it wasn’t only due to the bruises and cuts on his face, or the sling on his right arm.
“Oh my god.” Zoey gushed, rushing to the side of his bed. “Oh my god, Will, what happened?! Who did this to you?!” He didn’t say a word, just looked back and forth at each of us. His eyes were hard and cold, his jaw clenched. He looked so angry. “Will?!” Zoey said again, touching his shoulder, attempting to get his attention. he flinched away.
“Stop it. I’m fine. It was a misunderstanding. I don’t want to talk about.” He said, his voice a monotone. He didn’t look us in the eye, but instead down at the blanket that covered him.
“Will?” I managed to get out, wanting to see a hint of the brother I thought I knew. “Just tell us what happened, pl-”
“Shut up, Evie.” His words stung, bringing tears to my eyes. Why was he being like this? What could’ve happened for him to be so mean to us?
“What’s wrong with you?” I said, taking a step closer to the end of the bed, trying to get him to look at me.
“Nothing. I’m fine. Just leave me alone.” I know I shouldn’t leave, walking away from him like he said he wanted me to. But I did. I knew if I stayed there a second longer, I would either cry or yell at him, and I didn’t want to do either of those things. Zoey didn’t try and stop me, which I was thankful for. I just shut the door behind me, walking quickly back to the waiting room where Zayn sat, just like he said he would.
“What’s wrong? Is he okay?” He bolted up, immediately pulling me against him. I shut my eyes, breathing in the smell of mint gum, cigarettes, and hair product that made of the personal scent of Zayn Malik. He wrapped his arms around me, holding on tight as I clutched the fabric of his coat for dear life, needing something concrete to hold onto.
“Can we just go home?” I muttered, hearing my own voice crack. But he didn’t mention that, or the fact that a few tears had fallen on his shirt, or the fact that my hands were trembling. He just nodded, placed a gentle arm around me, and led me out the door.

- -

We drove in silence,. I felt Zayn’s gaze on me at every chance he got. I didn’t want him to have to worry about me, but I was too exhausted to fight him on it. The car stopped in front of my building. I didn’t get out. not yet.
“Do you want to come up?”
“Do you want me to come up?”
“Yes.”
“Then, yes.”
He got out of the car. And before I could even unbuckle my seatbelt, he was opening my door. I took the hand he offered me, and held onto it all the way to my front door. Unlocking it, I stepped inside and realized we had left everything this way; lights on, TV on, cups on the coffee table. I dropped my things, straightening up the room, putting magazines in a drawer, fluffing the pillows, bring the cups into the kitchen. I felt Zay’s heavy footsteps behind me as I stood in front of the kitchen. I was breathing heavily, this only intensified when he came up right behind me, his chest pressed to my back, his hands leaning on the counter on either side of me, caging me in.
“Evie, can you please talk to me?” His warm breath fanned over me, giving me goosebumps. I shuddered when his lips grazed my skin, pressing a gentle kiss to the exposed skin of my shoulder. If he wanted me to talk to him, this wasn’t really the best way of going about doing that. I could barely think straight with him doing this to me. I leaned back against him further, tilting my head back slightly.
“I’m really trying to be good here, babe. I want to help you through this. but when you do things like that, you’re making it pretty damn hard.” His husky whisper sent shivers down my spine. I liked hearing these things from him. I didn’t want to talk about what had just happened, I wanted to forget. I wanted Zayn.
“Shhhhh....” He didn’t flinch as I lifted one arm, tangling my fingers in his hair and pulling him down to kiss me. But this wasn’t enough. I managed to wiggle around so we were now facing each other. I trailed another hand up his chest, cupping his stubbly cheek in my hand and guiding his perfectly pink and full lips towards mine, wanting to kiss him more than I wanted to breathe. I don’t know why, but I just needed him. In the strongest sense of the word, I had to have him with me right now, just like this.
“Ev, baby, are you going to be okay?”
I pulled away, gazing up at him, stroking his cheek with my thumb, he cared, I saw the look in his eyes that told me that. I know he did. “I don’t know. I just want this- you. I want you. Now.” My words seemed to surprise him, his eyes widening when he understood what I was saying.
“Evie, I can’t do this. You’re upset, I can’t take advantage of you like this-”
“You’re not. I promise you you’re not. You’re the only person I can trust. You’re the only person I feel safe with. I want to feel good, and happy. And I want you to feel that way too. Please.” Suddenly, I wasn’t against begging him. If it was what I had to do to get him to believe the things I was saying to him, I would do it.
Zayn hung his head, shaking it once, like I had defeated him. Then, I felt him run a hand up my side, moving a few times over the curve of my hip, waist, and breast.
“You do some crazy things to me...” He mumbled, before grasping the back of my neck and pulling me towards him, this time kissing me first. His lips left small pecks on either side of my mouth, along my jawline, my neck, my cheeks... everywhere. I sighed, falling into him.
“Come here.” I held onto his hand, leading him to my room. It was dark, except for the strand of Christmas lights I had strung over my bed, hoping to give my room a bit more personality. The warm light fell over Zayn’s face, making him look even more perfect than normal. He stood close to me, and I leaned in, wrapping my hands around him, wanting him to realize that there was no possible way he could be pressuring me to do something I didn’t want to do. I wanted this. I really did.
“Zayn, please.” So I really was going to have to beg? Well, that was a little pathetic.
But, it worked. His hands were big and strong and everywhere. he pushed my jacket off my shoulders with ease, letting them rest on the small of my back for a moment as he looked down at me. Right then, I had wanted so badly to say those three words to him that had been running through my mind all night. But still, I didn’t. I’m not sure why. but I couldn’t think too much about it currently, because suddenly his lips and teeth and tongue were working havoc on the sensitive skin of my neck and it felt so good, I couldn’t be bother with anything else.
We stood like this for a bit, until I was aware of how many stupid layers of clothing were separating us. Way too many. I took a step forward, forcing him to step back, and eventually pushing him down onto my bed. He stared up at me with sparkly eyes as I crawled on top of him, straddling his waist.
“You are so beautiful.” He whispered, letting both of his hands travel all over my body, causing it to tingle all over. He lifted my shirt slightly, going down my thighs, my waist, my arms, eventually resting them on my waist. I tugged at his sweater, pulling it over his head.
“It’s my turn...” I smiled, feeling the muscles in his chest and arms, the warmth of his skin... having him this close to me was exactly what I needed right now. But then, I was forced to remember why we were here. And then, of course, my eyes blurred with tears. This didn’t need to happen now- It shouldn't! Now Zayn would see the pain I was feeling, he would stop us, I know he would.
“Evie, baby. Please, god, look at me.” He begged, tilting my chin down to meet his eyes with mine. He looked so pained. “What do you want to do?” he asked calmly, a determination in his voice, letting me know he was serious. He needed to know the truth.
“I want you, Zayn. That’s it. I need to forget, at least just for now-”I stifled a sob, covering my mouth with my hand, tears falling to my cheeks. “-And you’re trying to do what you think it right. And I really appreciate it. But It’s not what I want from you right now.”
He grasped my thighs, pulling me against him forcefully. My breath hitched in my throat. Zayn sat up, grasping the bottom of my shirt and pulling it over my head. He threw it down somewhere next to us, holding my face in his hands. His thumbs brushed away the tears, then went down to tracing the outline of my lips.
“Let’s wipe away those tears first, baby. You way too pretty for that.” My heart thudded uncontrollably, my hands holding firmly onto his shoulders, straddling Zayn’s waist and putting pressure on his crotch, His obvious erection excited me, reassuring me that I wasn’t the only one who wanted this.
“Fucking. Christ.” He groaned, burying his head between my neck and shoulder, kissing frantically. I pressed down harder, our hips bucking together. “Shit, I need to get these off.” He grumbled. He reached for his belt, but I got to it quicker. Finally, I slid his jeans off of his narrow hips, seeing a large bulge in the front of his navy boxer briefs. My eyes traveled up his chest, landing on his dark eyes, which were studying me intensely. It was then that I took notice of myself and what I was wearing; a plain white bra and matching underwear. It was boring, plain. All of the things I didn’t want to be seen as. But as Zayn’s hands moved up to cup my bra-clad chest in each of his hands, I realized he didn’t care. It didn’t matter to him in the slightest. I felt my nipples get hard under his gentle touch, pushing my chest out more, silently letting him now I was enjoying this. Very. Much.
“Holy shit, baby. You can’t keep doing that or i’m gonna be a goner...” His thick accent made every single thing he said sound a million times sexier, only fueling the fire he had ignited in me. I pressed down once more, slowly moving my hips against him. But, before I could do anything else, he grabbed my, pulling me down onto the bed, and flipped so he was no on top of me.
“We gotta do it this way for your first time.” These words scared me. I wasn’t nervous about being with Zayn, just the overall experience.
“Is it gonna hurt?” I asked, biting my bottom lip.
“Baby, if I could take away the pain, I’d do it in a second. I swear.” I knew he was telling the truth. But I didn't know if he was just talking about sex, or, everything. But I just nodded, pulling him back down towards me so I could nibble on the plump bottom lip. I felt his fingertips graze the thin fabric of my underwear. I jolted, wishing he would keep doing that. because that felt amazing, just like I had remembered.
“Take them off of me, Zayn.” I panted heavily. He looked me directly in the eye, apparently seeing no hesitation. So, he did what I asked. And now, in the span of just a few minutes, there was no only one single layer of fabric separating us.
“These too.” I smirked, running my hand up his leg and tugging at the waistband of his underwear. He happily obliged. Now, finally; no layers. Well except for my bra. But sooner or later, I saw that going too. An with the way that Zayn looked at me in it, I realized that this was different, for both of us. There was none of the sexy lingerie or back-alley promises like before. And I couldn’t have cared less. I knew that I didn’t need tricks like that to get Zayn, I was pretty sure I already had him.
Suddenly, his erection touched the most sensitive area between my legs, snapping my right out of my mind and sending a shot of electricity through me.
“Oh, god. Yes!” I moaned. My eyes had been shut. And when I finally did open them, Zayn’s perfect golden brown eyes were staring directly at me.
“Listen to me Evie, alright? I’m gonna put on a condom. And then I’m gonna do everything I can to make you feel good. I promise.” He pressed his lips to mine one more time, moving slightly to grab a small foil package from the wallet that had been in the pocket of his jeans. Once he was back in place, just where I wanted him, I felt his tip press against my center with a bit more determination now.
“I’m going slow for you, I really am. But you’re just so amazing, you feel so good. it’s damn hard for me.” His low whispers made the pain subside as he swiftly thrust into me. I let out a small yelp, but Zayn quickly covered my open mouth with his. The look of pleasure on his face made all of this worth it. His brows knitted as he stayed very still for a few seconds.
“You can move, Zayn. I’m okay, I swear. I just want to feel you.” This seemed to calm him. And finally, he slowly moved in and out of me, growing confident along the way and moving faster, little by little.
“Wow.” I breathed, feeling a heat inside of me brewing. He moved more, and more, and his eyes squeezed shut and he bit his lip with concentration and I thought about how his face, right this second, was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
“You have no idea how wonderful this is-” Zayn managed to get out, being cut off my a growl escaping his throat. I nodded. The pain was slowly subsiding. And it still wasn’t the best thing in the world, but it was all worth it for the way Zayn was looking and apparently feeling. I knew it would take some time before I felt comfortable like this, and I was willing to wait.
“God, baby, shit, i’m gonna come.” He rained kisses down my neck and between my cleavage. I gasped, a particularly special and sensitive spot being hit. And then, I felt Zayn’s entire body tense, his jaw set and a low groan sounding from somewhere deep inside him. “Dear god, Ev, baby, you’re perfect. So damn perfect, you’ve got no idea.” Eventually, his orgasm had subsided, and he opened my eyes to look at me. “I’m sorry, babe. I really am. I wanted this to be for you, I just couldn’t help myself. You felt too damn irresistible to me.” I smiled.
“It’s alright, next time.” His eyes crinkled in the corners, the signs of a real smile on his face. I seemed to now know when he was smiling because he had to, versus smiling when he wanted to. Personally, I preferred the real smile to the small grimace I saw plastered on magazine covers. When he looked happy, really happy, that was him. The real him.
Suddenly, I felt his hand move down between my legs. His thumb gently brushed over my clit, making my entire body tingle.
“Oh, wow...” I breathed, balling my hands into fists at my sides.
“I said I was gonna make you feel good. I never break my promises...” Suddenly, I felt his mouth over my breast, his tongue flicking at my nipple, and my entire body went up in flames.
“Oh, god, Zayn.” I couldn’t control myself, whimpers and moans escaped my lips, and I praised him until I couldn’t muster up another word. Zayn collapsed on top of me, clammy skin against clammy skin. I felt so good, and so happy. Zayn's fingers ran through my hair, detangling the knots that i’m fairly sure he had formed. He rolled off of me, pulling my body against his. And that was how we fell asleep, with one of his arms wrapped securely around me, the other one still in my hair.

I woke up in the middle of the night to find him fast asleep right next to me, lying on his back. The duvet covered him from the waist down, so only his tan chest was exposed. I propped myself up on one elbow, looking down at this beautiful boy who had changed everything about my life. He looked so innocent now, so calm. His eyelashes fluttered in his sleep, i wondered if he was having a dream. My hand aimlessly traveling to gently trace the contours of his face, brushing across his lips, down his neck, across his collarbones...
“I’m falling in love with you, Zayn Malik...” I felt him shift slightly. I pulled away, terrified that he was awake and had heard what I said. But he just repositioned himself closer to me, his breathing returning to it’s even pace.

Notes

I am so so sorry for the suppper long wait on this chapter. But it's fairly long, and these some smut there at the end, so I hope it was worth it :) please let me know what you think, i'm super excited to hear from you guys !! Also, I decided that I think the best way to handle wirting 2 fics at once is to promise to alternate posting chapters. So, I won't be updating this fic until i've updated my other one. But, hopefully, that'll be fairly soon :)
thank you so much for reading !!!!! i really really appreciate it so much.

Comments

Love it!
Maura_E Maura_E
10/30/13
unfortunately, i am STILL not able to post on this site for unknown reason, but i just posted the new chapter on my blog yayyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!! so yeah, you can go to notarealhipster.tumblr.com and click on the 'fanfics' tag and all my fics with their newest chapters are there :)
also, i started writing a non-fic story (it's a New Adult romance-fiction thing) called 'Change My Mind'. There's a tab for that on my blog too, so i hope maybe some of you will read it and like it. thank you so much if you do !!!!! <3
notarealhipster notarealhipster
8/20/13
** IMPORTANT **

I'm really sorry guys, but for some reason it isn't letting me post Chapter 28 on here. I've tried a bunch of time,s but it isn't working. But I posted the chapter on my blog HERE so if you wanted to read it, it's there :)
notarealhipster notarealhipster
7/13/13
Its like you never update UGHHH