Harry’s P.O.V
I wandered into my house to a room full of guys huddled around the pool table. Niall took a swig of alcohol from his beer before focusing the stick back on the ball.
“Oi Harry you came just in time, do you wanna put some money up?” Liam came pacing over, slapping me lightly on the shoulder. Before I could protest he drags me over to the pool table to join the rest of the guys.

I watched as Niall focus real hard on getting the right angle. When he was satisfied he slams the stick hard into the white ball, it collides with another and misses the socket by an inch. “Shit man!” he throws the stick on the table and crawls into his pants, digging out a 10 dollar bill.
“You want next Harry?” Zayn passes me over the stick. I look at him like he was crazy. “Come on, you know I don’t gamble anymore Zayn” He gives me a *suite yourself look* shrug his shoulders and pass it off to Liam.

I went over to the kitchen, searching for something to fulfill my strong hunger. “Where’s Louis?” I yell out. “He went to eat”

I open the refrigerator “Ugghh human food” I quickly slammed it and just settle for the left over alcohol on the table. After about 30 minutes or so the guys give up on their game and wander over to the table, with bored looks on their face.

“Hey Harry how’s you and Jessica?” they mocked her name in a girl voice, and started dancing around like a ballerina in unison. “Stop, come on guys”
I take another sip and shake my head in disapproval. “Is she going to disappear like your other girlfriend?” Niall mocked. I slammed my beer on the table, startling Zayn and Liam. “You cunt! That wasn’t my fault; she obviously couldn’t handle the truth”

I walk away from the table and over to the couch. They all followed me but sat a distance away. “You can’t fall for her Harry, that wasn’t the plan and you know it” Liam said daddy like. “Oh Liam always the good boy” Zayn slapped him on the shoulder. “Why do you even take time in her, she’s a nobody. You always go for the nobodies Harry”

I stared at Niall angrily. I balled up my fist, but restrained my cruel thought on the inside. Louis broke the tension by caving into the house, with a sack full of food. He threw them up onto the counter and walked over to join us. “How’d you get that entire food mate?” I asked curiously.
He rubbed the remaining residue off his lips “I took advantage of the cashier, that’s all I can say man” Liam and Zayn hopped up from the couch and made their way over to the sacks, but Niall was stuck in the corner of the apartment holding a low secretive conversation with someone.

“I don’t want you with her” Louis said nonchalant. He sat on the couch and strolled his eyes to the window looking over the illuminating lights towering over the city. “Well you can’t choose that now can you?”

“I’m being serious Harry” He turns his focus back to me with a stern look on his face. “We’re not going down this road again, you’re not careful and you’re careless and you know what happened last time. You know the rule, you can’t fall in love and you can’t be in a relationship. You choose that rule when you choose us”

I stared blankly at the table. As bad as I didn’t want to admit it, he was right. Once I got into this gang I agreed to not getting into a relationship and not falling in love. But it’s pretty hard to do when all you see is lovely women everywhere you go and its gets pretty lonely at night when I spoon with a pillow. Every night, I flip on to my back and stare at the dark room; escaping into my wildest thoughts.

Thinking of how I can’t have a normal relationship with a girl, even though I craved for that. I’ve always wanted to go on a normal date without worrying about if the guys will find out. But the only thought that seriously occurs in my head every night is, once I tell that girl the truth the darkness behind my life, will she still like me for me? Or will she run away.

I’m afraid to be alone; I’m quite frankly still scared of the dark. Just seeing the dark blackness consume a room, it’s scary and mysterious. When I ever have the presence of another companion I sleep better, knowing that I’m safe. I’m safe from what I got myself into; I’m safe from being swallowed into the darkness alone.

But since I don’t have a companion, for now I will just stay up at night; distracting my mind with my wildest thoughts.
Louis sighed getting up. He pat my leg; slipping me out of my thoughts. “Well either you break up with her, or we move far, far away mate. She’s just like the rest; once she finds out she’ll call you a monster and run away. Your chose”

I stared distant off into the window. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.
I didn’t even get a chance to love her!

I gradually got up from the couch and made my way pass the kitchen. “Aren’t you going to eat Harry?” Liam and Zayn both slather down the liquid. “Naw, bruv not today” I wave my hand nonchalant. They shrug their shoulders and indulge more into the wet substance.

I walk down the hallway slowly, getting caught by the image of me and Jessica this morning. I turned into my bedroom and immediately fall on to my bed. I close my eyes for a quick second, indulging into the peaceful serenity of being alone but the sacredness of it being too quiet. My bones let out a sigh of relieve as I exhaled and inhaled slowly. My lids were starting to get heavy from my exhaustion.

Suddenly my back pocket came to life with a vibration. I tiredly reached and eased it out, I squinted my eyes as the brightness blinds me. The text was from Jessica. That’s funny I always texted her first.
My hand hovered over the message. Should I? Should I not? What will happen if I do? Shit! I’m too involved now to back down; I’m too protective of her and aware of what I’m getting myself into. I just click my phone off and throw it up on to my pillow. Her we go.


I turn over on to my back, to once stare again at the ceiling; slipping into my wildest thoughts.

Notes

AWWWWW HARRY'S LIFE SEEMS DIFFICULT!



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