Falling Hard
He left. She left.
Harry's P.O.V.
I throw myself on the couch feeling exhausted. This was a great show tonight, the crowd was insane. I guess I'm a little extra tired because I haven't slept so good the past couple of nights. Sofia's been ignoring my calls and I get very short, impassive answers to my texts. She's blaming it on having so much to do, but I'm not sure that is true. She's still back home with her parents, and sure she can somewhat walk now, but I know she's still in some pain and still walks with crutches. So what is it that she does that she can't take two minutes to call me? I run my hands over my face. I'm over thinking this, like always. She said she were coming with the other girls to North Carolina, so she can't be that mad at me. I'm sure it's something I did to piss her off. I just don't know what. I pick my phone up and try, as I always do after a show, to text her.
From Harry
Hi love. When are you landing tomorrow? I miss you. Long for you to be here.
It's not always certain that I will get a reply. I don't know what happened, but it's frustrating. She keeps insisting that she's just buzzy and that nothing is wrong, but I haven't heard her voice in more than a week. My phone buzzes and I pick it back up.
From Sofia
16.00 but will wait for the other girls who'll come 16.30
I sigh. I need her to be here now so that I can ask her what's going on. This is driving me crazy. She really knows how to mess with my head, she is my weak spot. I get up as Liam calls on me, so we can get back to the hotel. I really needs some sleep, not that I'm going to get any.
Sofia's P.O.V.
I feel my heart beating fast in my chest as the plane lifts from the ground. I had to change planes in New York, so this is the second plane and the one that will lead me to Carlotte, North Carolina. I don't think that I've been this nervous in a long time, maybe ever. I can't believe that I'm about to do this, that I'm going to break his heart like this. I'm such an awful person. It's been such a hard couple of days, realizing that I have to do this, even though I don't want to. I feel bad for not really answering Harry's calls or texts, but I don't know how to. I know that I'm going to mess everything up now and I can't really fake happiness when I know what will happen. I screwed up.
I shake my head as the flight attendance ask if I want anything. I don't think I could eat, it's only going to come right back up. I'm so tense my whole body is shaking. I want to run to the captain and beg him to turn around, to please bring me back. Why am I doing this?
I remind myself of what I've been thinking this whole week. I need to do this. I need to tell him eye to eye. He deserves that much. I need to do it now. I think these things over and over in my head, trying to calm myself down.
As the plane starts to descend and soon hits the ground, I feel my breathing quicken, thankful that there isn't someone sitting right beside me. My hands shake as I take the seatbelt off and stand up to get off the plane. I get my bag almost first, throws it over my shoulder and head towards the place where I'm waiting for the other girls. Before I get there though, my stomach turns and I half run with my crutches to the nearest trash can to trow up. My nerves is really getting to me. I know that I'm seeing him in just a couple of minutes and I'm going to have to somehow fake my happiness because the others will be there. I can't let them know anythings wrong before I talk to Harry. I get into the bathroom that's not far from the trash can and wash my face and cleanse my mouth with some water. Thankfully I have some gum I can shew on to get the awful taste out of my mouth. I look myself in the mirror and I look terrible, my eyes has dark shadows under them and my face is whiter than usual, almost translucent. I sign before taking my bag and leaving the bathroom.
I stand, with my foot tapping on the floor, as I wait for the girls to land. I see the screens on the wall telling that their plane is only a couple minutes away from landing and I wish it would be delayed. As the screen flickers and the texts change to landed I take a deep breath, preparing myself to fake my happiness. I should be pretty good at this, I did it the first eight months after my best friend died. As I see the bright color of Perrie's hair I put a smile on my face. I don't run towards the girls, mostly because I can't run, but also because I don't know if my stomach would hold it. I don't want to puke in front of everyone. As they come closer I hug them all tight, I've really missed them badly. I've been Skyping with them a couple of times when they've had girls night and it have been fun, but I've missed being with them.
“Hiii.” Elenore yells as she wraps her arms around me. “You look awful.” She say as she pulls back and watch my face.
“Aw, thanks!” I say and make a face at her. “No, I just got a little sick from the plane.” I say and give her a reassuring smile, I hope.
“Yuk! Hope it doesn't lasts throughout the weekend.” She say as she puts a hand on my shoulder as we walk out of the arriving area. I know that it only is going to be a couple of moments before I see Harry. I take deep breaths, trying not to show the girls how nervous I am. As we get out all the girls shriek as they see the guys waiting for us. I try my best to put a big smile on my face. I see him standing there looking nervous too. I guess that's my fault. The other girls trow themselves at their boyfriends, but I walk over slowly to Harry. He meets me halfway. He wraps his arms around me and I put mine around his waist, the crutches hanging awkwardly behind him. His warmth and his smell is so familiar that it makes me want to cry. I bury my face in his chest as he holds me close.
“You okey?” He whisper against my head.
“Yeah, I just got a little sick from the plane rides. Puked in a trash can.” I try to snicker, but it didn't really come out normal.
“I'm sorry.” He kiss the top of my head. “Let's get you back to the hotel.” He kisses my forehead as he releases me and take my bag with one hand hold the other at the small of my back as I slowly walk with my crutches. The paparazzi has found us and we walk out to the cars waiting.
They guys have booked a table at a restaurant for tonight and we only have time to change clothes before we head there. Thankfully Harry has something he needs to do as I go into the shower, I don't want to talk to him right now, I will do it tonight when we get back from the restaurant. It's not something I want to bring up before dinner. The warm water doesn't really sooth me as it runs down my tense body. It usually does, but today is a totally different story. At least I feel a little cleaner as I get out and dry myself up. I blow dry my hair and put some makeup on to hide the shadows under my eyes. I also put some rouge on, to give me some color. As I stand in the big room and pull the top over my head, the door open and Harry comes in.
“You're already done?” He sounds a little disappointed as he comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me, kissing my neck. I tense and can feel that he's noticing it.
“Yepp.” I pop the t. “You should hurry up if we're going to make it.” I say, trying to sound normal and happy. I know that I don't fool him, but he doesn't bring it up.
“Yeah, I'll just be a couple of minutes.” He sounds a little sad and walk into the bathroom. Wow, this is hard. I sit down on the edge of the bed, taking a deep breath. I want to cry, I feel the tears waiting behind my eyes, but I can't let them go just yet. I will never get them to stop if I do. I can't believe this is happening, I can't believe I'm doing this.
We get to the small restaurant with the others. It's a very cosy and romantic place with small booths along the walls and round tables in the middle of the room. We're directed to a nearby room with a big table to fill about fifteen people. It's nice, because it's secluded and we can be for ourselves. I sit down with Harry to my left and Niall to my right. I can feel Harry's uncertainty beside me, it hurts me to see him like this, but I can't really say anything to reassure him everything's alright. Because it's not. I try to keep up my conversation with the others, asking Niall how he feels about the tour, asking Perrie how her music is going and so on. I smile and laugh at the right moments, even though it feels so false.
The night feels long. Harry has been drinking a couple of beers really fast, making me nervous. As the waiter comes around to ask for drink orders again I feel Harry start to ask for another beer. I put my hand on his leg and squeeze. I can't have him drunk if I'm going to talk to him and I need to do it tonight, I wont make it any longer. He looks at me and see my pleading gaze as our eyes lock. After a couple of seconds he turns to the waiter again and orders some sparkling water. I sigh in relief. I pull my hand away and take a sip of my own water as I feel his eyes on me. I want this night to end now. I need it to be over.
As we enter the hotel the others talk about seeing a move in the common room since the hour is pretty early. I feel myself sighing inside, hoping that I could just get this over with. My stomach is a mess, I didn't get much food down at the restaurant and I can't really concentrate until I have told him.
“I need to change my shirt. We'll be there in a moment.” Harry says to the others and take my hand to pull me towards our room. I feel my heart kick up a notch.
“Don't do it, it will take too long.” Louis yells and laugh, the others snickering with him.
I feel my knees buckle as we get inside, I'm so scared. I sit down on the couch, taking a couple of deeper breaths.
“Talk.” He says as he sits down on the couch opposite me. I look up at him, feeling out of breath. I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. “You really need to tell me what's going on, you're freaking me out.” He say, running a hand through his hair. I can feel his uncertainty and confusion.
“I d-don't know h-how.” I stutter, looking down at my own hands.
“Just spit it out.” He say, trying to say it calm but the desperation coming through. This is it. I have to do it. I've practice to many times on what to say, how to tell him. How to break his world. I put my hands over my face. “Sofia!” He almost shouts.
“I'm pregnant.” I whisper. Wow. I can't believe I just said that – like that. I had planned on a whole long speech, but it just got out. I could hear his gasp, but I didn't dare look up at him. I didn't want to see those beautiful eyes in panic.
“How?” It was low, almost a whisper.
“How do you think?” I said, a little angrier than intended. He stood up and started pacing the room.
“But we've used protection.” He said it out loud, but it sounded like he said it more to himself.
“Not always.” I said and finally looked up at him as he stopped and looked my way. He looked in pain, his eyebrows pulled together. “My birthday... the shower...” I said and directly saw the pain in his eyes as realization hit him. He didn't breath for a long time, I saw sadness, pain and confusion in his eyes. He looked away from me and pulled his hair with both hands. I could see his brain working hard to handle this news. I've had some time to digest this.
“I need to get out of here.” He said, backing up against the door and going out. He didn't look back at me before he went and as the door clicked shut, my first tears rolled down my cheek. I knew this was going to be his reaction. I just knew it. He wasn't ready for this. Of course we had talked about kids before, but it was in a far future. He wanted to concentrate on his career and live this life he's living right now. I knew that. That's why I was so mad at myself. I know it's not totally my fault for getting pregnant, but still. It feels like it was my mistake.
I put my hand on my stomach, I hated those thoughts, because I didn't think it was a mistake. I was in some ways thrilled about this baby. I wanted kids, lots of them. But when I got the news that I was expecting, I knew that Harry wouldn't be in on it and I would loose him. He was nowhere ready for this. The tears streamed my face as the sobs made it hard to breath. He left. I wasn't really prepared for that though. I thought he might yell or cry...but...he left. My heart was breaking.
Harry's P.O.V.
I sat down on the couch next to Liam in the common room. I had walked around the block of the hotel a couple of times to try to think and straighten out my thoughts. I still felt like my head was filled with cotton as I stared at the screen. They were watching a movie, I had no idea which, but no one really paid attention to me, only Liam looked up as I sat down. I ignored his stare and he soon looked back at the screen. I felt so confused and bewildered. What was happening?
Apparently the movie got paused and everyone looked around to find out who did it as the lights flickered on. I barely reacted to the light.
“Harry.” Eleanor said my name with a worried voice and I looked up at her. “What happened?” She asked concerned and I looked confused at her. What is she talking about? Did she know? I've been sitting here for about fifteen minutes, so why would she wonder now? Everyone looked between me and Eleanor with questioning eyes.
“What do you mean?” I keep her stare, trying to determine if Sofia's told her.
“I just got an text from Sofia, saying she's in the airport on her way home.” She look at me with a mix of concern and anger. “What happened?” I look down at my hands in my lap, feeling a little ashamed.
“We had a fight.” I say low, not really sure how much I should tell them. I don't even understand this myself yet.
She's at the airport. She left.
I throw myself on the couch feeling exhausted. This was a great show tonight, the crowd was insane. I guess I'm a little extra tired because I haven't slept so good the past couple of nights. Sofia's been ignoring my calls and I get very short, impassive answers to my texts. She's blaming it on having so much to do, but I'm not sure that is true. She's still back home with her parents, and sure she can somewhat walk now, but I know she's still in some pain and still walks with crutches. So what is it that she does that she can't take two minutes to call me? I run my hands over my face. I'm over thinking this, like always. She said she were coming with the other girls to North Carolina, so she can't be that mad at me. I'm sure it's something I did to piss her off. I just don't know what. I pick my phone up and try, as I always do after a show, to text her.
From Harry
Hi love. When are you landing tomorrow? I miss you. Long for you to be here.
It's not always certain that I will get a reply. I don't know what happened, but it's frustrating. She keeps insisting that she's just buzzy and that nothing is wrong, but I haven't heard her voice in more than a week. My phone buzzes and I pick it back up.
From Sofia
16.00 but will wait for the other girls who'll come 16.30
I sigh. I need her to be here now so that I can ask her what's going on. This is driving me crazy. She really knows how to mess with my head, she is my weak spot. I get up as Liam calls on me, so we can get back to the hotel. I really needs some sleep, not that I'm going to get any.
Sofia's P.O.V.
I feel my heart beating fast in my chest as the plane lifts from the ground. I had to change planes in New York, so this is the second plane and the one that will lead me to Carlotte, North Carolina. I don't think that I've been this nervous in a long time, maybe ever. I can't believe that I'm about to do this, that I'm going to break his heart like this. I'm such an awful person. It's been such a hard couple of days, realizing that I have to do this, even though I don't want to. I feel bad for not really answering Harry's calls or texts, but I don't know how to. I know that I'm going to mess everything up now and I can't really fake happiness when I know what will happen. I screwed up.
I shake my head as the flight attendance ask if I want anything. I don't think I could eat, it's only going to come right back up. I'm so tense my whole body is shaking. I want to run to the captain and beg him to turn around, to please bring me back. Why am I doing this?
I remind myself of what I've been thinking this whole week. I need to do this. I need to tell him eye to eye. He deserves that much. I need to do it now. I think these things over and over in my head, trying to calm myself down.
As the plane starts to descend and soon hits the ground, I feel my breathing quicken, thankful that there isn't someone sitting right beside me. My hands shake as I take the seatbelt off and stand up to get off the plane. I get my bag almost first, throws it over my shoulder and head towards the place where I'm waiting for the other girls. Before I get there though, my stomach turns and I half run with my crutches to the nearest trash can to trow up. My nerves is really getting to me. I know that I'm seeing him in just a couple of minutes and I'm going to have to somehow fake my happiness because the others will be there. I can't let them know anythings wrong before I talk to Harry. I get into the bathroom that's not far from the trash can and wash my face and cleanse my mouth with some water. Thankfully I have some gum I can shew on to get the awful taste out of my mouth. I look myself in the mirror and I look terrible, my eyes has dark shadows under them and my face is whiter than usual, almost translucent. I sign before taking my bag and leaving the bathroom.
I stand, with my foot tapping on the floor, as I wait for the girls to land. I see the screens on the wall telling that their plane is only a couple minutes away from landing and I wish it would be delayed. As the screen flickers and the texts change to landed I take a deep breath, preparing myself to fake my happiness. I should be pretty good at this, I did it the first eight months after my best friend died. As I see the bright color of Perrie's hair I put a smile on my face. I don't run towards the girls, mostly because I can't run, but also because I don't know if my stomach would hold it. I don't want to puke in front of everyone. As they come closer I hug them all tight, I've really missed them badly. I've been Skyping with them a couple of times when they've had girls night and it have been fun, but I've missed being with them.
“Hiii.” Elenore yells as she wraps her arms around me. “You look awful.” She say as she pulls back and watch my face.
“Aw, thanks!” I say and make a face at her. “No, I just got a little sick from the plane.” I say and give her a reassuring smile, I hope.
“Yuk! Hope it doesn't lasts throughout the weekend.” She say as she puts a hand on my shoulder as we walk out of the arriving area. I know that it only is going to be a couple of moments before I see Harry. I take deep breaths, trying not to show the girls how nervous I am. As we get out all the girls shriek as they see the guys waiting for us. I try my best to put a big smile on my face. I see him standing there looking nervous too. I guess that's my fault. The other girls trow themselves at their boyfriends, but I walk over slowly to Harry. He meets me halfway. He wraps his arms around me and I put mine around his waist, the crutches hanging awkwardly behind him. His warmth and his smell is so familiar that it makes me want to cry. I bury my face in his chest as he holds me close.
“You okey?” He whisper against my head.
“Yeah, I just got a little sick from the plane rides. Puked in a trash can.” I try to snicker, but it didn't really come out normal.
“I'm sorry.” He kiss the top of my head. “Let's get you back to the hotel.” He kisses my forehead as he releases me and take my bag with one hand hold the other at the small of my back as I slowly walk with my crutches. The paparazzi has found us and we walk out to the cars waiting.
They guys have booked a table at a restaurant for tonight and we only have time to change clothes before we head there. Thankfully Harry has something he needs to do as I go into the shower, I don't want to talk to him right now, I will do it tonight when we get back from the restaurant. It's not something I want to bring up before dinner. The warm water doesn't really sooth me as it runs down my tense body. It usually does, but today is a totally different story. At least I feel a little cleaner as I get out and dry myself up. I blow dry my hair and put some makeup on to hide the shadows under my eyes. I also put some rouge on, to give me some color. As I stand in the big room and pull the top over my head, the door open and Harry comes in.
“You're already done?” He sounds a little disappointed as he comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me, kissing my neck. I tense and can feel that he's noticing it.
“Yepp.” I pop the t. “You should hurry up if we're going to make it.” I say, trying to sound normal and happy. I know that I don't fool him, but he doesn't bring it up.
“Yeah, I'll just be a couple of minutes.” He sounds a little sad and walk into the bathroom. Wow, this is hard. I sit down on the edge of the bed, taking a deep breath. I want to cry, I feel the tears waiting behind my eyes, but I can't let them go just yet. I will never get them to stop if I do. I can't believe this is happening, I can't believe I'm doing this.
We get to the small restaurant with the others. It's a very cosy and romantic place with small booths along the walls and round tables in the middle of the room. We're directed to a nearby room with a big table to fill about fifteen people. It's nice, because it's secluded and we can be for ourselves. I sit down with Harry to my left and Niall to my right. I can feel Harry's uncertainty beside me, it hurts me to see him like this, but I can't really say anything to reassure him everything's alright. Because it's not. I try to keep up my conversation with the others, asking Niall how he feels about the tour, asking Perrie how her music is going and so on. I smile and laugh at the right moments, even though it feels so false.
The night feels long. Harry has been drinking a couple of beers really fast, making me nervous. As the waiter comes around to ask for drink orders again I feel Harry start to ask for another beer. I put my hand on his leg and squeeze. I can't have him drunk if I'm going to talk to him and I need to do it tonight, I wont make it any longer. He looks at me and see my pleading gaze as our eyes lock. After a couple of seconds he turns to the waiter again and orders some sparkling water. I sigh in relief. I pull my hand away and take a sip of my own water as I feel his eyes on me. I want this night to end now. I need it to be over.
As we enter the hotel the others talk about seeing a move in the common room since the hour is pretty early. I feel myself sighing inside, hoping that I could just get this over with. My stomach is a mess, I didn't get much food down at the restaurant and I can't really concentrate until I have told him.
“I need to change my shirt. We'll be there in a moment.” Harry says to the others and take my hand to pull me towards our room. I feel my heart kick up a notch.
“Don't do it, it will take too long.” Louis yells and laugh, the others snickering with him.
I feel my knees buckle as we get inside, I'm so scared. I sit down on the couch, taking a couple of deeper breaths.
“Talk.” He says as he sits down on the couch opposite me. I look up at him, feeling out of breath. I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. “You really need to tell me what's going on, you're freaking me out.” He say, running a hand through his hair. I can feel his uncertainty and confusion.
“I d-don't know h-how.” I stutter, looking down at my own hands.
“Just spit it out.” He say, trying to say it calm but the desperation coming through. This is it. I have to do it. I've practice to many times on what to say, how to tell him. How to break his world. I put my hands over my face. “Sofia!” He almost shouts.
“I'm pregnant.” I whisper. Wow. I can't believe I just said that – like that. I had planned on a whole long speech, but it just got out. I could hear his gasp, but I didn't dare look up at him. I didn't want to see those beautiful eyes in panic.
“How?” It was low, almost a whisper.
“How do you think?” I said, a little angrier than intended. He stood up and started pacing the room.
“But we've used protection.” He said it out loud, but it sounded like he said it more to himself.
“Not always.” I said and finally looked up at him as he stopped and looked my way. He looked in pain, his eyebrows pulled together. “My birthday... the shower...” I said and directly saw the pain in his eyes as realization hit him. He didn't breath for a long time, I saw sadness, pain and confusion in his eyes. He looked away from me and pulled his hair with both hands. I could see his brain working hard to handle this news. I've had some time to digest this.
“I need to get out of here.” He said, backing up against the door and going out. He didn't look back at me before he went and as the door clicked shut, my first tears rolled down my cheek. I knew this was going to be his reaction. I just knew it. He wasn't ready for this. Of course we had talked about kids before, but it was in a far future. He wanted to concentrate on his career and live this life he's living right now. I knew that. That's why I was so mad at myself. I know it's not totally my fault for getting pregnant, but still. It feels like it was my mistake.
I put my hand on my stomach, I hated those thoughts, because I didn't think it was a mistake. I was in some ways thrilled about this baby. I wanted kids, lots of them. But when I got the news that I was expecting, I knew that Harry wouldn't be in on it and I would loose him. He was nowhere ready for this. The tears streamed my face as the sobs made it hard to breath. He left. I wasn't really prepared for that though. I thought he might yell or cry...but...he left. My heart was breaking.
Harry's P.O.V.
I sat down on the couch next to Liam in the common room. I had walked around the block of the hotel a couple of times to try to think and straighten out my thoughts. I still felt like my head was filled with cotton as I stared at the screen. They were watching a movie, I had no idea which, but no one really paid attention to me, only Liam looked up as I sat down. I ignored his stare and he soon looked back at the screen. I felt so confused and bewildered. What was happening?
Apparently the movie got paused and everyone looked around to find out who did it as the lights flickered on. I barely reacted to the light.
“Harry.” Eleanor said my name with a worried voice and I looked up at her. “What happened?” She asked concerned and I looked confused at her. What is she talking about? Did she know? I've been sitting here for about fifteen minutes, so why would she wonder now? Everyone looked between me and Eleanor with questioning eyes.
“What do you mean?” I keep her stare, trying to determine if Sofia's told her.
“I just got an text from Sofia, saying she's in the airport on her way home.” She look at me with a mix of concern and anger. “What happened?” I look down at my hands in my lap, feeling a little ashamed.
“We had a fight.” I say low, not really sure how much I should tell them. I don't even understand this myself yet.
She's at the airport. She left.
Notes
I guess it wasn't too surprising that she was preggers! But what about Harry's reaction?
I feel like this story is going to it's end soon though. Even if I love it and never wants it too end, it should. I feel like I'm dragging it out a little too much. I don't know how many more chapters, but I have a few more things to write on this. But I have several ideas for other stories and especially one that I'm going for next. Hope you will like and read that one too! :)
Please keep the voting, subscribing and comments coming. I love your comments! And over 200 subscribers!! Wow! You make me so happy!
xx.
Did you make a sequel for this?
6/30/16