I was sitting on my bed in leggings and a big hoodie when the phone called. I'd just ended a skype-call with my parents and felt tired in so many ways. This weekend had been the best and the worst. I'd talked to Eleanor last night but all she said was that she didn't know why Harry had acted the way he had. I had ended the conversation not long after that, I wasn't up to talking. I didn't even want to talk to my parents, but they would start to worry if I didn't call when I said I'd would. We had our standard chat-nights. Wednesday and sundays. So I just had to fake being happy, I couldn't deal with their worrying right now.

I looked at my phone, seeing that it was Harry. He hadn't tried to contact me since breakfast yesterday. I considered ignoring it, but was too curios of what he had to say.

“Hi.” I answered and layed back on my pillows.

“Hi.” He breathed and then it was quiet. I wouldn't be the one who started this conversation, he should. It's he who called. We sat there not saying anything for at least a minute, maybe even two.

“I'm sorry.” He said very quiet.

“OK.” I didn't know what to say. “What was that about?” I asked when he didn't say anything more.

“Well...” He hesitated. “This trip to London was planned a long time ago, before I even met you...and well, I have a date there. She's coming from New York, so I can't really cancel it.” He said very fast, like ripping of a bandaid. Oh! So he's dating. It took a while before it hit me. He. Is. Dating. Other. Girls. I guess I shouldn't be too surprised about it, he did have a reputation.

“Okey, well it's not like we're in a relationship, you can do whatever.” I said quiet trying to protect myself from getting hurt. And I knew that I would get hurt by him if I didn't protect myself. I could feel myself getting colder as I talked. “We're casual.” I couldn't really believe that I'd just said that. Casual? I've never been casual with anyone. What did that even mean?

“Oh, okey. Good.” He took a breath before he continued. “I should go, I'll see you later?”

“Yeah, see you.” I hung up the phone, sitting and staring at it for a long while afterwards. The pain in my chest told me that I had lied to myself, I felt more for him then I'd realized. Shit! This was what I didn't want. I don't have the strength to get hurt. I don't know if I can ever trust somebody again. My ex really gave me scars for life.

How do you act to a friend that you've slept with? This was a question that I didn't know how to answer. I had only been in relationships before and one horrifying one nightstand with a guy I didn't even know the name of.

---

That friday I decided to call Eleanor and tell her about everything, needing to went. She was very comforting to talk to. But I needed something stronger.

“Do you want to go out with me and get shitfaced? I really need to get drunk right now.” I said needing to drown my sorrows in something.

“Of course, let me call the other girls and we can have a girls night. I call you back in a minute.” She hangs up the phone. She was a wonderful friend, I was so happy that I'd met her. She didn't even have to think about it.

She called me up not too long after to say that the other girls was in and that Perrie told her that there was a new club opening tonight and that she'd get us in. So tonight I was getting drunk and would dance my ass of. The perfect medicine for guy problems, right?

I'd decided to dress the part in a dark blue dress, it was pretty short but it would stay where it was since it was tight. High heels and I let my hair hang free on my shoulders. I met up with the girls around nine to start with a drink at a small cozy place just a few blocks from the club. I hadn't eaten all day so I could feel the first drink get into my blood. It made me relax a little and the second made me talk more freely. We talked about Harry which I think Eleanor had told them not to, but when I started they all got involved. It felt good to have their support and love. I really had made some nice friends here.

We went to the club after that, Perrie shouting in my ear as we stepped into the loud club.

“Let's get druuuunk!” and she headed for the bar, I walked close after her.

When I got there she had already ordered seven tequila shots for all of us. We all cheered as we took it and I saw Eleanor's scared expression when we did. I knew she didn't like hard liquor, so I took her's from her and drank that too when nobody saw. She gave me a thankful gaze. I didn't mind, I was here for one reason and that was to get drunk. The thing is that I wasn't that girl normally, I didn't drink too much and definitely didn't get wasted. But you need to let loose sometime right? She had promised to take care of me if I got out of control. Best friend anyone could ever have.

After our second tequila, my fourth, we went to the dance floor. It was pulsating with loud music and bodies were swaying along to it. I just let go and started to move to the music. Those shots didn't take long to hit. It was nice to not think, only to follow the rhythm of the music. I knew somehow that some of the girls went to get some more drinks after a while, but I didn't really notice them too much. I was in my own world. I concentrated only on the music and nothing else. Perrie came over with another shot and I gladly took it. Feeling myself drifting.

Somewhere I noticed faces that I recognized in the crowd, at first I thought it was the tequila that made me hallucinate, but then I realized that it was Niall and Liam. They came over and started dancing with us. I was laughing and moving my body in ways that felt so good. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that the possibility for Harry being here was big, but I didn't care. I was too drunk.

At a moment when the music changed I looked over at the bar to se if Eleanor was there and if Louis had come too, I saw him. He was looking my way and we locked eyes for a few seconds before I turned around. A song pretty much based on sex came on, it had a great beat and I started to dance closer to Niall who was closest to me. Liam had started dancing with Danielle and it looked really hot. I turned my back against Niall and danced close, he even put a hand on my lower back as we danced. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that this wasn't a smart move, but I was too drunk to record why. And he didn't seem to mind.

When that song ended and turned into another, I looked over at the bar again, but he was no longer there. I was dehydrated and motioned to Niall that I needed something to drink. He started walking me over to the bar when I froze. There in the corner was Harry. He was bent over a girl kissing her. No it was more than kiss, he was basically dry humping her. I felt my heart stop and wasn't sure that it ever started again. If I had eaten anything today I know that it would be coming back up right now, but my stomach was empty. I could feel Niall beside me, he shouted something in my ear, but I didn't hear what. When I was able to move I looked over at the bar and Eleanor, she just turned around and saw me. She looked happy and smiled at me when she registered my expression. She looked questionably at me, I just looked back at Harry and the girl in the corner. Not able to move or speak yet. My inside on the other hand was screaming loudly.

A moment later she was at my side, yelling something at Niall who pushed me towards the doors. When we was outside and the music wasn't so loud anymore she whispered in my ear.

“It's fine. I'll get you home.” As she called for a cab to come get us.

“Can you keep her company for just a minute, I will just tell Louis that we're leaving.” She said to Niall who was holding my arm for support. She was back in what felt like two seconds, but my perspective wasn't that good at the moment.

“Thank you, we will go now.” She said to Niall as she put me in the cab and then she said something else to him that I didn't hear.

The next thing I remembered is walking out of the cab to their apartment. I did question why I was here and not at home, but I didn't have the energy to ask out loud.

---

Eleanor's P.O.V
I was sitting in bed when I heard Louie come home, I walked out to greet him and make sure he was quiet so that he didn't wake Sofia up. It had taken me some time to get her to sleep. When we came home she ran straight to the bathroom to throw up. I was glad that she made it in time, I didn't want to clean that up. But she did and I sat with her as the next came, and the next... when the vomiting stopped she started to cry. The poor thing was destroyed. I felt so bad for her. I can't even imagine. I got her to the couch and layed her down in my lap with a blanket on her. I was patting her hair while she cried. It was heartbreaking so see. But after an hour or so she finally fell asleep, still sniffling.

We walked into the bedroom.

“How is she?” Louie asked as he took his jacket off.

“Not good. She puked so much and then she cried her eyes out. I hate seeing her like this.” I really didn't like to see my friends feel this bad. Louie came to wrap his arms around me.

“I know, me neither. I yelled pretty loud at him when you left.” He says with a sad voice.

“You did?” I have never seen him yell at any of the guys before. They were always goofing off with each other. Never really mad, even if they were irritated.

“Yeah. He's being a jerk. I don't like it.” He kissed my head. “I'm gonna get ready for bed.” He said and walked to the bathroom.

I just wish there was something that I could do for her. I knew she felt more for Harry than she would confess to. I also know that he likes her, so I don't get what he's doing. He is, like Louie said, being a jerk. I just hope that he gets his act together and soon.

Notes

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