Target

It’s been five days since the funeral and I haven’t had some real sleep since. I’ve been skipping practise and basically, I haven’t left my house. It is the only place I can find some silence. Everybody wants to talk to me, wants to know how I’m doing… It is driving me crazy. At the same time, I despise the silence. What Gwenn said was right. I didn’t realize how noisy she was, or well, more how full of life she was. I hate being alone, but I can’t share anything with anybody. I keep pacing through the living room and thinking about everything. About Alysha, about what happened to Zayn, about the blood on my hands. It is driving me insane. Ever since Alysha died, I’ve had this voice in my had, saying that the only way to stop this, to stop Conrad from blackmailing me, is to quit. With everything. I’ve played with this thought often, every time to be honest. But before, I didn’t dare to. I had my friends and family to protect, I had people to live for, even though they do not know what kind of monster I am. But this is different. I loved her. Love her. I can’t live with myself without her by my side, knowing that it is my fault she is gone.

Today, Harry and Gwenn had decided that it was time for me to leave my house again. To say that it was a mistake, would be the understatement of this still very young century. Of course, we ran into some fans who wanted photos and everything and it reminded me of the first time I’d been out with Alysha and she had gotten completely upset. We had passed a lot of places Alysha and I had spent time together. It amazed me how many memories I had from those few short months. And it went on like that. I tried to keep up a smile, but it got harder. Everything reminded me of her and it hurt. A lot.

I threw my jacket on the floor and walked into the living room. I knew this would’ve happened sooner or later, but I would’ve preferred later. Al those people I saw today, they feel sorry for me. I freeze when I see somebody on my couch. “You kept me waiting Liam.” I take a step back. What is this? “What’s wrong?” she asks innocently. Her tone is sarcastic. She gets up and turns around. “What? We don’t hug anymore?” I close my eyes and hope she goes away. “I am not leaving Liam. I am here for a specific reason.” When I open my eyes again, she stands right in front of me. Then I see something that is wrong. Her eyes. They are blue. She uses my confusion to push me against the wall. “Liam Payne, you’re under arrest for 21 murders and the attempted murder of agent Alysha Parks,” another voice says. I recognize the guy that appeared out of freaking nowhere as the guy that was with Ilsa at the funeral. “Wait, attempt?” I say. Alysha rolls with her eyes. “Good morning Liam.” She lets me go. “Take him with you Nate.”

Notes

Xxx.