I wake up and it takes me a few seconds to realize what is happening. My head is pounding and my right arm hurts like hell. An unknown face looks at me. “He is awake,” she says. I slowly realize that I am in an ambulance and that the woman holds an IV which is connected to… me. I pull the needle out and want to push myself up, but I am strapped to the stretcher. “Relax,” the woman says. “Where is Alysha?” I ask panicked. “She is in the other ambulance.” “How is she?” “Impossible to say right now. It was quite a blow and it’s a miracle that you probably only have a concussion and broken wrist.” I feel tears burning in my eyes. “Relax, we’re almost there.” “What about the bastard that caused this?” The woman frowns upon my use of language, but I don’t care. He is going to pay for it. “He was gone.” The ambulance stops right at that moment. Somebody opens the doors and takes me out. I close my eyes and try to fight back the tears. I see a flash and realize it is the same hospital Zayn is and that some idiots were probably still waiting for news. Well, they got it.

The woman in the ambulance was right. I had a concussion, a broken wrist and a cut on my forehead from where I’d hit the steering wheel. Anyway, I was pretty impatient when the doctor took care of my wrist. It can wait. Alysha is more important right now. She was rushed to the IC and I can’t see her. “Liam!” It’s Louis. “You know anything about Alysha?” I immediately ask. “What? No, is she here too?” “Yes, I wanted to take her to my parents and some idiot hit us.” I was shaking. “And they won’t let me see her.” “Sir, can you please leave the room. You can talk to the patient when I am done,” the doctor says irritable. He finishes within half an hour, a very slow half hour. I go to the IC, but meet Louis, Niall and Harry half way. “Liam,” they shout in unison. They want to hug me, but I step away. “You know anything about Alysha?” I ask. They exchange a look and I already know. I search for support at the wall. “Come on,” Niall says. They bring me to the IC. The closer we come, the slower I walk. I am afraid to see her. “Come on, she’s been asking for you as well.” “It’s my fault,” I whisper. “It’s all my fault. Zayn, Alysha…And you’re next. I wanted to, really, but I couldn’t and now you are going to pay for it.” “Wow, Liam, sit down. You’re making no sense,” Harry says. “Where is she?” I whisper. “Room 2.25,” Louis replies. I get up and walk slowly to her room. The door is closed and I am hesitant to go in. But my desire to see her wins it from my fear. She is not alone. There is a nurse at her bedside. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it,” she says. “Thank you,” Alysha says. She looks up. I am hurt when I see how she looks. Bruises on her face, in her neck and she has obviously trouble breathing. “Hey,” she whispers. “I’ll leave you two alone,” the nurse says. I nod and walk to Alysha’s bed. “Hey.” “How are you?” Alysha asks. “I’m fine. You?” “I feel kind of high. Those painkillers they gave me can knock out an elephant, easily.” It is quiet for a while. “Liam?” Alysha breaks the silence. “Will you stay with me?” I nod. “Of course.” I kiss her forehead. I look at her. Despite the injuries and all the cords around her, which almost make her look like a robot, she is still beautiful. “Liam?” she asks after a while. “Have you seen Gwenn?” I shake my head. “She is probably on her way. Harry is here as well, so he probably called her. Why?” She bites her lip. “I want to talk to her… about… you know. She knows who to call.” I was kind of surprised. I hadn’t expected her to think about it in such a way. She seems, well not okay with dying, but she doesn’t fight it. “What?” she asks when she sees the look on my face. “It’s just that… You seem so calm with this happening…” “What is the point fighting it. If I have to die now, than my time is over.” “But still…” “You know Liam, what’s the point in living if you fear death. How can one run from death when running only brings you closer?” “You’ve lost me.” She shakes her head. “Seneca,” she murmurs. “Epistulae Morales. His point is that fear for death is nonsense.” There is some truth in that. I decide to change the subject, since I don’t think this is the time to discuss some writing of a long gone Roman. “You want me to call your parents? Since… you know…” I can’t finish my sentence. “My parents… they… are gone. Died in a car crash when I was fifteen.” She laughs sarcastically. “The irony.” “And your brother?” She looks at me confused and I kick myself mentally. I don’t think we’ve ever talked about family, I am not supposed to know. “I don’t have a brother.”

Notes

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