Saved
Four
After a bit of arguing, we decided I would get a new room. As I was heading downstairs to tell the lady about my situation, I heard screaming and mad laughter. It was Jason. I was frozen as I watched him lick the damned bloody knife after he fucking stabbed someone. I let out a piercing scream and ran up the stairs so fast I nearly slipped. Jason started chasing me. I got in my room just in time, due to running really fast. i nearly slipped! As soon as I locked the door, I realized that it would've been better if I slipped, because then I would have a chance to kick Jason in the you-know-what. I dialled 112 (I think that's the emergancy number in spain. Sorry if it's not), well, almost. I was about to click the '2' when Jason knocked the door down. "AAAAAAHHHHHHH!"
Notes
Sorry if it's short. Thank you, narry_is_the_cure for the advice!!! Okay bye!
o.k. so just givin' u tips
1:make the story more suspensful.
2:get into more details
3:be more descriptive
4:explain more,dont repeat details,give a little twist at the end
5:finish off the chapter with the reader wanting to know more of whats going to happen and getting them excited 4 ur next update
i hope it goes well for you(; update soon!(:
1/13/14