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Two
"Socorro! Help!" I screamed. He slapped me. "Let me fucking go! You bastard! I'm not the slutty kind, I will not fuck you and be happy! I will put up a damn fight!" I shrieked. "I'm Jason Blee, by the way. Not like you'll remember." With that, he threw me in the bag.
••••••Harry••••••
I wondered why she left me. I mean, I didn't do anything wrong. I wore my beanie and sunglasses. How could my fans hurt her if they didn't even know I was here? Suddenly a guy walked by with an enormous bag. "Hey! What are you doing with that bag?" "That's my business, bastard." "Excuse me?" "That's right, man-whore. What ya gonna do?" "Call security." "What?" "My name is Harry Styles." Suddenly the bag wiggled. "Hey! Styles! I need your help to get away from this Jason bitch!" "Don't call me a bitch!" Jason hissed at the bag. "Well, I would call you a bastard, but that's too long to fit as your last name." Jason chuckled nervously, remembering me. "There's nobody in the bag." "Yeah there is! And her name is Zara Greens! Get me out of here!" Sara is in the bag?
o.k. so just givin' u tips
1:make the story more suspensful.
2:get into more details
3:be more descriptive
4:explain more,dont repeat details,give a little twist at the end
5:finish off the chapter with the reader wanting to know more of whats going to happen and getting them excited 4 ur next update
i hope it goes well for you(; update soon!(:
1/13/14