Shattered
Back Again
Angelica's P.O.V-
You'd think after some time I would feel ready and up to re-meet the guys, but I don't feel even close to ready. I have absolutely no idea how they're going to react. I'm scare they'll just be too hurt and shut me out. At least Niall is on my side, but it's just because he's this sweet and caring little Leprechaun.
"Relax! They're going to love seeing you again!" Niall beamed, squeezing my hand lightly. I sighed shakily and nodded smiling weakly at him. He gave me a small smile back and turned to face the road again. He was driving to the Liam's flat, where he told me all the boys were going to be.
"What if they hate me?" I asked, my fear growing with each second that past. Niall sighed deeply, almost as if he was thinking hard to answer me.
"I'm not going to lie. The boys don't know you're coming. They think I'm bringing one of my old friends from Ireland" He confessed. My mood just went from scared to horrified. I had to get out of the car now.
"Please, let me finish!" Niall began, almost as if reading my thoughts.
"Okay, finish" I ordered, a bit shakily.
"A few days ago, before I found you, I had asked the boys what would they do if you ever came back to us" He said, still looking straight ahead. I gulped a bit but managed to keep my posture.
"They said they would be hurt at first, but if you gave them a decent excuse, they'd take you back" He said smiling weakly and with sympathy.
"I don't have a decent excuse" I said sadly.
"What you told me two days ago was a good reason to me, let's just hope they're all okay today...." Niall trailed off.
"What do you mean by 'let's hope they're all okay today'?!" I asked, my fears growing bigger if possible.
"I mean.... Ever since you left it's been harder for them to joke and smile naturally" He said darkly. Right then I knew what I had done was far beyond selfish. I caused pain and sadness. I feel horrible...
"Oh gosh.... I feel so bad now! I can't face them! I just can't!" I began with teary eyes and a shaky voice. I gulped, trying to swallow the lump that was forming in my throat. I just couldn't.
"Hey, hey!" Niall whispered. He caught my hand and rubbed circles in them, soothing me.
"You have to face them, to tell them you're sorry. I'll be with you the whole time, don't worry!" He smiled weakly again. Why am I making this moment so dramatic?
"Thank you" Was all I whispered and we finally arrived.
We got out of the car after he parked and he locked the doors. We walked inside and he greeted the people around him. All of them looked very well dressed and fancy, making me cringe a little. I just hope the boys are still the simple guys I once met....
"We're here" Niall said as the lift's doors opened. I took a somewhat shaky step out and followed him to the third door to the left. We were on the 14th floor, so if anything went wrong, I could just jump out the window.... Wait... What? NO! No bad thoughts no matter how stressed and scared you are. Jake needs you. Niall now needs you too. Keep it together Ruby! My therapist's voice rang through my ears. She's been so helpful and kind, almost like a mother.
"Are you ready?" Niall asked looking at me with hope in his eyes. No matter how much he begged me with his eyes, I still yearned to yell no and run the opposite direction, back to the lift and back to the safety of my house. But.... I knew I couldn't disappoint him, I knew I had to stay strong. I knew I had to go through with it, because suddenly, a white sort of peaceful feeling washed over me, and all my fears were forgotten.
"Yes" I said, barely above a whisper as he knocked on the door twice. Footsteps and loud voices were heard before the door was thrown open to reveal a excited looking Liam.
"Oh hey there Niall! We thought you were coming later" Liam smiled and 'bro-hugged' his friend. I stood there, analyzing him. Call me a creep, but I do that quite often to people. I like reading, and that means others too. He had grown, that's for sure, a good three inches or more! He had more prominent muscles now and a very broad shoulder. His hair was shorted than usual and his beard was starting to grow. He looked like such a man now...
"Who's your friend? Is she the one from Ireland? I thought it would be a g-" Liam cut himself off as he stared into my eyes. I small smile made it's way to my face and I extended a polite hand.
"Hello, Liam. Nice to see you again" I said politely, waiting for him to shake my hand.
Harry's P.O.V-
"Liam! Who is it?!" I yelled from underneath Louis. No, it's not what you think! We're wrestling! Zayn's on the couch watching the T.V with a tired expression.
Liam didn't answer so I pushed Louis off and headed in the direction of the front door.
"Liam! I asked who's-" I stopped when I saw her. No. It couldn't be her! It's been more than a year! It isn't her!
"Harry. This is Angelica... Remember her?" Liam had a confused expression on his face as he stared at the wall in front of us.
"Hello, Harry. It's been a long time, hasn't it?" She said. It couldn't be her. She sounded so much softer and delicate and polite! Not to mention she looks different.... Maybe even hotter.... Is that possible?! Could I be really thinking that?! Urgh! Stupid Styles! React dimwits! Shake her hand!
"Hello, Angel. Yes it has" I smiled politely, shaking her hand. She smiled warmly at me and from the corner of my eyes I saw Niall smile a bit.
"So! Lets go in!" Niall cheered taking Angelica's hand from mine and placing it around his arm. She giggled softly and walked inside with him.
"What just happened?!" I whispered/ hissed at Liam who had now come back to reality.
"I don't know.... I think we just got her back.... But I think we also lost her" He simply said. We walked inside and Liam closed the door.
"Hello there, Louis and Zayn!" I heard her greet them cheerfully. I walked into the living room expecting her to be hugging them but instead she was shaking their hands.
"Where the hell did you pop out from?!" Louis yelled excitedly letting go of her hand and hugging her by the waist twirling her around. She giggled.
"Louis! Please, put me down! I'm wearing a skirt for heaven's sake!" She giggled. Louis put her down just as her skirt began to float up a little too much. Damn!
"Have you been working out?" I blurted out. Oops...
"Were you checking me out, Mr. Styles?" She teased with a smirk. New confidence, I see.... Hot.
"Maybe" I winked at her. She smirked but still rolled her yes.
"Yes, I have. In fact, I shall be leaving at around 5 p.m to pick Jake up and at 5:30 p.m I'm at the gym" She casually said checking her phone. I checked my watch and saw we still had about 5 or 4 hours.
"How could you..." Zayn was the first to speak up. Oh dear...
"How could I what?" She asked innocently. Jesus! The girl's totally different!
"How could you leave us? HOW COULD YOU FUCKING FORGET US AND JUST PLAIN OUT DISAPPEAR?!" He yelled. He's never had an outburst since she left.... I can't say I'm not curious, but I can't just push her like that...
"Oh that, yes sorry! That's the actual reason I'm here, Zayn. I'm here to clear things up, and apologize. I realize how selfish it was of me to just leave like that, but I can explain! It won't make it sound any less selfish, but it'll make you understand my point of view" She said, sadness clouding her almost teary eyes.
"Please do explain" Louis sad with seriousness in his voice. I sat on the couch next to Zayn and waited for her to start.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for just leaving like that. I'm sorry for never telling you guys why I was leaving or even where I was going to go. I'm sorry for everything I've cause, all the pain and sadness. I'm sorry because I was selfish. I was really selfish. I thought that you wouldn't want me around since I had such a messed up life. I thought I wasn't good enough. I didn't want you guys to be involved in all my madness and crazy life. I wanted you guys to be left alone, and not harassed even more by the media for being my friends. I'm sorry, I know it's not a good enough excuse or reason, but I'm sorry, I truly am!" She said. Her eyes were a lot more teary now, and it looked like she was going to cry at any moment now. Neither of us had the courage to speak up and tell her how we truly felt.
"I'll just leave" She spoke. Not even Niall, who I am guessing already knew that moved. She left and we just sat or stood there motionless, letting her go again. This time it wasn't our fault she left, although I have a feeling I was a big part in her leaving the first time...
You'd think after some time I would feel ready and up to re-meet the guys, but I don't feel even close to ready. I have absolutely no idea how they're going to react. I'm scare they'll just be too hurt and shut me out. At least Niall is on my side, but it's just because he's this sweet and caring little Leprechaun.
"Relax! They're going to love seeing you again!" Niall beamed, squeezing my hand lightly. I sighed shakily and nodded smiling weakly at him. He gave me a small smile back and turned to face the road again. He was driving to the Liam's flat, where he told me all the boys were going to be.
"What if they hate me?" I asked, my fear growing with each second that past. Niall sighed deeply, almost as if he was thinking hard to answer me.
"I'm not going to lie. The boys don't know you're coming. They think I'm bringing one of my old friends from Ireland" He confessed. My mood just went from scared to horrified. I had to get out of the car now.
"Please, let me finish!" Niall began, almost as if reading my thoughts.
"Okay, finish" I ordered, a bit shakily.
"A few days ago, before I found you, I had asked the boys what would they do if you ever came back to us" He said, still looking straight ahead. I gulped a bit but managed to keep my posture.
"They said they would be hurt at first, but if you gave them a decent excuse, they'd take you back" He said smiling weakly and with sympathy.
"I don't have a decent excuse" I said sadly.
"What you told me two days ago was a good reason to me, let's just hope they're all okay today...." Niall trailed off.
"What do you mean by 'let's hope they're all okay today'?!" I asked, my fears growing bigger if possible.
"I mean.... Ever since you left it's been harder for them to joke and smile naturally" He said darkly. Right then I knew what I had done was far beyond selfish. I caused pain and sadness. I feel horrible...
"Oh gosh.... I feel so bad now! I can't face them! I just can't!" I began with teary eyes and a shaky voice. I gulped, trying to swallow the lump that was forming in my throat. I just couldn't.
"Hey, hey!" Niall whispered. He caught my hand and rubbed circles in them, soothing me.
"You have to face them, to tell them you're sorry. I'll be with you the whole time, don't worry!" He smiled weakly again. Why am I making this moment so dramatic?
"Thank you" Was all I whispered and we finally arrived.
We got out of the car after he parked and he locked the doors. We walked inside and he greeted the people around him. All of them looked very well dressed and fancy, making me cringe a little. I just hope the boys are still the simple guys I once met....
"We're here" Niall said as the lift's doors opened. I took a somewhat shaky step out and followed him to the third door to the left. We were on the 14th floor, so if anything went wrong, I could just jump out the window.... Wait... What? NO! No bad thoughts no matter how stressed and scared you are. Jake needs you. Niall now needs you too. Keep it together Ruby! My therapist's voice rang through my ears. She's been so helpful and kind, almost like a mother.
"Are you ready?" Niall asked looking at me with hope in his eyes. No matter how much he begged me with his eyes, I still yearned to yell no and run the opposite direction, back to the lift and back to the safety of my house. But.... I knew I couldn't disappoint him, I knew I had to stay strong. I knew I had to go through with it, because suddenly, a white sort of peaceful feeling washed over me, and all my fears were forgotten.
"Yes" I said, barely above a whisper as he knocked on the door twice. Footsteps and loud voices were heard before the door was thrown open to reveal a excited looking Liam.
"Oh hey there Niall! We thought you were coming later" Liam smiled and 'bro-hugged' his friend. I stood there, analyzing him. Call me a creep, but I do that quite often to people. I like reading, and that means others too. He had grown, that's for sure, a good three inches or more! He had more prominent muscles now and a very broad shoulder. His hair was shorted than usual and his beard was starting to grow. He looked like such a man now...
"Who's your friend? Is she the one from Ireland? I thought it would be a g-" Liam cut himself off as he stared into my eyes. I small smile made it's way to my face and I extended a polite hand.
"Hello, Liam. Nice to see you again" I said politely, waiting for him to shake my hand.
Harry's P.O.V-
"Liam! Who is it?!" I yelled from underneath Louis. No, it's not what you think! We're wrestling! Zayn's on the couch watching the T.V with a tired expression.
Liam didn't answer so I pushed Louis off and headed in the direction of the front door.
"Liam! I asked who's-" I stopped when I saw her. No. It couldn't be her! It's been more than a year! It isn't her!
"Harry. This is Angelica... Remember her?" Liam had a confused expression on his face as he stared at the wall in front of us.
"Hello, Harry. It's been a long time, hasn't it?" She said. It couldn't be her. She sounded so much softer and delicate and polite! Not to mention she looks different.... Maybe even hotter.... Is that possible?! Could I be really thinking that?! Urgh! Stupid Styles! React dimwits! Shake her hand!
"Hello, Angel. Yes it has" I smiled politely, shaking her hand. She smiled warmly at me and from the corner of my eyes I saw Niall smile a bit.
"So! Lets go in!" Niall cheered taking Angelica's hand from mine and placing it around his arm. She giggled softly and walked inside with him.
"What just happened?!" I whispered/ hissed at Liam who had now come back to reality.
"I don't know.... I think we just got her back.... But I think we also lost her" He simply said. We walked inside and Liam closed the door.
"Hello there, Louis and Zayn!" I heard her greet them cheerfully. I walked into the living room expecting her to be hugging them but instead she was shaking their hands.
"Where the hell did you pop out from?!" Louis yelled excitedly letting go of her hand and hugging her by the waist twirling her around. She giggled.
"Louis! Please, put me down! I'm wearing a skirt for heaven's sake!" She giggled. Louis put her down just as her skirt began to float up a little too much. Damn!
"Have you been working out?" I blurted out. Oops...
"Were you checking me out, Mr. Styles?" She teased with a smirk. New confidence, I see.... Hot.
"Maybe" I winked at her. She smirked but still rolled her yes.
"Yes, I have. In fact, I shall be leaving at around 5 p.m to pick Jake up and at 5:30 p.m I'm at the gym" She casually said checking her phone. I checked my watch and saw we still had about 5 or 4 hours.
"How could you..." Zayn was the first to speak up. Oh dear...
"How could I what?" She asked innocently. Jesus! The girl's totally different!
"How could you leave us? HOW COULD YOU FUCKING FORGET US AND JUST PLAIN OUT DISAPPEAR?!" He yelled. He's never had an outburst since she left.... I can't say I'm not curious, but I can't just push her like that...
"Oh that, yes sorry! That's the actual reason I'm here, Zayn. I'm here to clear things up, and apologize. I realize how selfish it was of me to just leave like that, but I can explain! It won't make it sound any less selfish, but it'll make you understand my point of view" She said, sadness clouding her almost teary eyes.
"Please do explain" Louis sad with seriousness in his voice. I sat on the couch next to Zayn and waited for her to start.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for just leaving like that. I'm sorry for never telling you guys why I was leaving or even where I was going to go. I'm sorry for everything I've cause, all the pain and sadness. I'm sorry because I was selfish. I was really selfish. I thought that you wouldn't want me around since I had such a messed up life. I thought I wasn't good enough. I didn't want you guys to be involved in all my madness and crazy life. I wanted you guys to be left alone, and not harassed even more by the media for being my friends. I'm sorry, I know it's not a good enough excuse or reason, but I'm sorry, I truly am!" She said. Her eyes were a lot more teary now, and it looked like she was going to cry at any moment now. Neither of us had the courage to speak up and tell her how we truly felt.
"I'll just leave" She spoke. Not even Niall, who I am guessing already knew that moved. She left and we just sat or stood there motionless, letting her go again. This time it wasn't our fault she left, although I have a feeling I was a big part in her leaving the first time...
Excuse me, I have read this before on a different website... but I can't remember which one. Do you mind telling me which one it was on???
Thank You!!
6/9/15