Shattered

Angelica's P.O.V-

I breathe in deeply, inhaling the smell of the Christmas cookies I was making for the boys. It's only the 5Th of December but I like to begin celebrating early, that way, when the day actually comes, I'll be full on in the mood for it.

I smiled wide, thinking about how good it felt to let it all out three days ago. I refused to see a therapist, even though the police officers insisted. They were kind with me, and treated me like a brave soldier who just came back from war, which technically I was. I'm proud of how well I actually dealt with everything, not breaking down and killing myself, but I had and still have Little Liam to keep me going. He's my inspiration and the reason I'm alive today, other than the little sparks of faith and hope I still had.

"Angel, you work too hard, at least let us help you" Harry commented. I shrugged and continued mixing more cookie dough. With Niall in the house, I needed extra cookies just in case. A large hand wrapped itself around my smaller one and stopped my actions. I looked up to see Harry looking at me with pleading eyes. I sighed but didn't let go, instead I kept on mixing it even with his heavy hand on mine, trying to ignore the warm feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"I'm the governess here, I can't let you do anything, Mr. Cowell's orders" I said in a stern voice, not taking my eyes off the bowl in my hands.

Harry sighed and let go of my hand. When he did, I felt a bit cold but shook that off and continued mixing and mixing. When it was at the right consistency, I took a spoon and scooped some of the dough and placed it on the platter until I had made about 15 drops of cookie. Just as the oven dinged, signaling the first 15 cookies were done, I grabbed the gloves and took out the platter replacing it with the other. I placed the first platter on the counter and waited for it to cool while setting the time on my little clock and turning on the oven.

"If you guys want to, you can decorate the cookies" I suggested in a shy voice.

"YESH! COME ON BOYS!!" Louis squealed and sat down on the counter. I placed the sprinkles, M&Ms, food paint, etc, on the counter for them and they started drawing and coloring. I smiled and giggled lightly to myself, thinking they looked a lot like toddlers. Speaking of toddlers, in just a week, Little Liam is free from school until the 2nd of January.

"HEY!" Zayn whined as Louis smudged his nose with yellow food paint. I rolled my eyes and scolded Louis then I took a napkin and cleaned Zayn's nose like a mother would.

"Louis, try concentrating on your own cookie and not the other boys' faces" I told him with an blank expression. He pouted like a three year old and grumbled under his breath, Zayn on the other hand was smirking in victory and sticking his tongue out. I gave him a warning look and he stopped.

"DONE!!!" They yelled together. While they were decorating the cookies, I was cleaning up the kitchen for the third time today. The first time was because it's in my daily to do list, the second time was because the boys tried to make cookies and ended up with dough all over the kitchen, literally, and the third time was 'cause I made the cookies with minimal damage.

I looked the at both the cookie platters and they actually did a very good job. I smiled and nodded. They cheered and high-fived. I chuckled at their behavior and continued cleaning up, storing back the items used to finish the cookie painting session. I finished and told the boys to behave before placing both platters inside the oven and locking it. Yes, their oven has a special lock, actually it didn't, I had to make one since an incident with pancakes and Niall occurred a few weeks back.

I drove out of the complex and headed to pick up Little Liam. Once I was back, we sat together and ate the 35 cookies I had made. Like I said, with Niall around, having extra food is really necessary. I cleaned up yet again and decided to go through the house again with the broomstick. It took me some time but when I was done the boys were mysteriously gone, and so was Little Liam.

"Hello?!" I screamed from the stairs. Nothing. I walked a bit further into the hallway and looked in each room, using the opportunity to organize them. Still nothing. I ran downstairs to the living room. Nothing. They weren't in the kitchen either. Nope, not at the gym. Not in the movie theater. Not in the garden.

"How very strange" I whispered to myself. I shrugged and stored my cleaning items back into the storage closet. I walked back to my house and found the lights on. So that's where they were.

I walked in, looking around and sure enough they were all in my living room watching Adventure Time with Little Liam. I smiled and sighed in relief.

"You know, I thought you were all kidnapped" I smirked at them. Their heads swept around in surprise but they were soon smiling in a guilty manner.

"Sorry 'bout that" Liam said, nodding awkwardly. I walked over to them and plopped myself on the couch's arm. I was soon very into the show and totally forgot about the boys being there.

"FINN! KISS HER ALREADY! URGH!" I yelled frustrated with Finn. She was right there! Why didn't he kiss her?! Stupid human!

"COME ON! Urgh... Why am I even watching you?! YOU CAN'T EVEN KISS THE GIRL YOU LIKE!" I shouted at the TV, my arms flying everywhere.

Soon, I heard laughter and I remembered where I was and who I was with. My cheeks flushed and I looked down smiling embarrassed. I looked up and the boys were now rolling on the floor at my sudden outburst. I shook my head and kept quiet for the rest of the show, although what I really wanted to do was push Finn towards Princess Bubble Gum and make them kiss.

"We're sorry for laughing, it's just, it was so sudden and-" Niall cut short his own sentence by laughing again. I tackled him and sat on his stomach.

"In my little corner, I'm actually funny" I said in a matter-a-fact tone. They all nodded, trying their best not to laugh again. It wasn't even that funny, stupid boys.

"Yes it was!" Louis laughed. Oh, I said that out loud, oops? I don't know how, but I actually felt familiar with the boys for the first time since I got the job.

We talked about ourselves, played a few stupid games, I had to put Little Liam in bed, then we played 20 questions, then a bit of truth or dare, where I ended up having to stay in my underwear until the end of the game. Stupid boys. In the end, they fell asleep in my living room and I just left them be, heading to my bedroom. I took a quick shower, changed, brushed my teeth and sat under the covers. I opened the top drawer on my night stand and took out my Bible. I read through a few chapters, prayed and put it back in.

"Religious?" My head jolted to the direction of the door and I saw Harry leaning on the frame slightly.

"More like faithful" I said shrugging. I tried to act indifferent when I was around him, but it was close to impossible as I found myself falling for him. The only thing that really helped me keep my distance was the reminder that I am forbidden to get involved with these boys in that kind of way.

"Why though?" He asked knitting his eyebrows together.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, after all you've been through, I thought you hated God for letting you suffer like that" I nodded. It's understandable why he thinks like that.

"I understand your point of view, but I don't see it like that" I shrugged. He nodded, slightly confused.

"Then, how do you see it?" He asked, curiosity taking over his features. I smiled. I loved talking about this, it made me grow just a tad bit stronger to move on.

"Well, I used to be told, and I used to read, that God doesn't put us in situations we can't handle. Life is a test, to see if you're willing to be faithful until the end. Those who are get a prize in Heaven, those who aren't..." I trailed off, knowing he understood.

He nodded but seemed to be deep in thought. Then he looked up at me, staring straight into my eyes, making me shiver a bit from the sudden and deep eye contact. He walked towards me, never breaking our gaze, and sat down in front of me on my bed.

"Have you ever been kissed, like, other than by your dad?" He asked carefully. I see why though, it is a touchy subject for me.

"No, I've never had a proper boyfriend..." I trailed off. That wasn't completely a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth either. He nodded and continued to look at me.

"Actually, I kind of had one . He used to be my best and only friend in school at the time. He asked me out three weeks after my mother's murder. He took me to our favorite ice-cream shop one day, but he was kind of being tested so he could join the soccer team, so he dropped his ice-cream all over me and shouted at me all kinds of insults" I shrugged again. I didn't really care anymore, I moved on.

"He's a jerk for even thinking of doing that" Harry exclaimed, showing a bit of anger.

"I only started believing that after three months" I laughed at my naive self. Then Harry hugged me. I wasn't expecting it but I hugged back instantly. It felt so right to be held in his arms, but I knew it couldn't happen.

"I'd never do that to you, ever. I'd treat you right, Angel, I swear!" He whispered in my ear, making me smile.

"Thank you, but why do you call me Angel? You're supposed to call me Mrs. Greyson, remember? All of you" I broke the hug much to my dismay and chuckled lightly.

"We just think you're as kind and as strong as an Angel" He smiled at me. I nodded and he left, wishing me a goodnight. I wished him back and waved, flopping onto my bed and falling asleep. I think I might be finally letting go of my past and moving on...

Notes

Spoiler: She never celebrates her birthday!