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New Life, New Love

The Change

*WARNING THIS MAY CONTAIN BLOOD,. This is a little bit of a darker chapter, not all of them will be this way*
Ok, carry on :)




I woke up panting from my nightmare. It wasn't as bad as the one I had monday night, but it was bad enough that a goodnight's rest was ruined. I looked over at my clock. 5:55 am.
Well, at least I only woke up five minutes before my alarm went off.
I decided to wake up thirty minutes earlier this morning so I could put a little bit more effort into my look. I loved that Harry thought I was beautiful with a little appearance change.
What would he think if I dramatically changed my look?

I immediately ran into the shower and got out to give me enough time to get ready.
I grabbed my black lacy bra, throw a very see-through, sheer white tank over it. Sure, it was a little slutty, heck a lot slutty, but I wanted to prove to Harry I could be like the beautiful girls at school.
I threw on some ripped jeans and short, black boots with a bit of heel to them. I grabbed a sweatshirt to cover up because there was no way I would be allowed out of the house with my bra showing. I looked down at my clothes and smiled.

I ran to the bathroom and began to curl my wavy hair, something that I actually knew how to do as my friends back home always had me curl their hairs in different ways.
This is the part where things get tricky.
I scurried over to the makeup box I stole from my mom's room last night. I don't think she would mine as she doesn't use most of the stuff in here.
I grabbed some foundation and rubbed it all on my face. It looked a little light for my skin tone, but who was going to notice?
I wanted to go for a bold look.
Blue eyeshadow seems bold.
I pulled up my laptop and went on youtube, watching a video on how to do a bold, blue eye makeup look.
Once I finished that off with mascara and eyeliner, I searched for the reddest blush I could find. Score. I put that on, though I didn't know how much I needed so I guessed.
I went for the bronzer, I figured why not make my cheeks bones stand out more? Guys like that? Right?
I then searched more lipstick. I didn't know what color to do, but I really wanted to impress people.
I found this orangey-gold, glittery lipstick and smacked it on.
I took a quick look in the mirror and cringed. My face looked...odd, definitely not what I was expecting, but I knew boys like girls who were pretty, and pretty girls wore lots of makeup (from my observations).
I figured the reason I found my face to look odd was because I had never seen it with so much makeup, Also I only had my bed lamp on, so the lighting in my room sucked.

I didn't want to be questioned by my family over my makeup so I attempted to cover my face with my styled hair.
I felt my stomach growl. Should I go for some breakfast?
Nah, I don't need the extra calories.
Before I left my room, I sprayed on my usual body perfume. I managed to get to the front door without being noticed, everyone was in the kitchen. It was just about time to leave.
Before I walked out, I yelled, "Jon, I'll be waiting in the car, I'm already ready for school!"

When I got in the car, I pulled my hoodie over my head to help keep my hair pushed around my face. I stared out the window the whole car ride.
The second my siblings and I went our separate ways to classes, I pulled my hoodie off and threw it into my backpack.
I got multiple stares. Some look horrified as they stared at my face. Shock value. I felt good that they didn't know I could look this good. I was surprising them. I told myself.
Some guys licked their lips as they stared at my body, which was quite shapely yet slim. My clothes allowed them to see that.

Melody turned the corner, giving me a disgusted look. Her eyes widened as she ran towards me. She grabbed my arm forcefully.
"What the hell did you put on your face?"
"Relax Mel. It's makeup."
"Uuuhh have you seen yourself?" She shook her head.
"Well, kinda. Yeah." I was irritated. Why did Melody care so much? Maybe she was jealous...
"It...looks really...WHAT are you wearing?"
"Something I just threw on this morning."
"Do you realize you can see through that shirt?"
"Of course."
"Belle, you look like a tramp. I'm sorry, but it's the truth."
"Wow. Melody, thanks for the support." I shook off her tight grip on me, brushing past her as I walked away.

Harry's POV

I was standing in the hallway outside of the girls toilets as usual. Nicole was talking about something to Louis, Niall, and Zayn. I saw Liam approaching with Nicole's friend, Sierra, I think?
"So, how'd the dinner go with Belle's family?" Liam asked.
"It was alright, but, damn, did Belle look hot." I admitted.
"She wasn't that special. All she did was put on a nice dress and little makeup." Nicole crossed her arms.
"She sure surprised me."
I noticed a girl walking past. Her hair was shiny and curled. Her body was fucking amazing. I could see her black lacy bra through her shirt.
Black lace is my favorite. I nodded my head in her direction. Her back was to me but the guys turned around. They knew what I was hinting at.
I yelled out after her, "Hey sexy! What's your name?"
She stopped in her tracks, she began to fidget.

She slowly turned around to face us all. My eyes widened when I saw her face.

Belle's POV

I saw them, I didn't want to seem too desperate so I began to walk by, hoping one of them would notice me.
My hopes seemed to have failed me when I walked past and no one said anything until...

"Hey sexy! What's your name?" I could recognize that raspy voice anywhere. I stopped walking and smiled to myself. I turned around ready for Harry to see the big reveal.

I felt my confidence boost when his eyes widened. I began to walk towards Harry, giving him my best seductive walk. I didn't necessary like him, as attractive as he was, but I liked his attention. I swayed my hips back and forth as I approached, casually flipping my hair over my shoulder.
I noticed Nicole and her friend laughing about something, their eyes wide as well. Whatever. I didn't have time for their immature behavior.

His friends look horrified. Niall let out a nervous cough. I noticed he did that a lot.
Harry looked frozen before I finally manage to mutter something under his breath.
"Can I help you?" I tilted my head to the side while fluttering my eyelashes.
"What happened to your face?" Harry's face contorted with disgust.
I immediately stiffened when I heard Nicole let out a maniacal laugh. "OH MY-Ha! You look like a clown!"

What?

Her friend, Sierra, started laughing too. "You look like a hooker that belongs in some horror movie!"
With that Louis, Niall, and Harry began to laugh. All they just kept laughing as I stood there feeling my face practically burn. I was so glad for the foundation that was covering my skin color right now.
The only person who wasn't laughing was that Liam kid. He just shook his head in disgust.
Nicole stopped laughing. She stepped forward, a wicked grin forming on her face.
"Is this because of what I told you yesterday? Did I hurt your feelings, ugly? Haha, you're so hideous that putting on makeup makes you look worse!" She began to laugh, the others following her lead. Tears were streaming down her face, she couldn't stop.
I could feel the tears forming in my eyes, but they were much different from her tears.
I made a complete fool of myself in front of them, in front of Harry.
Instead of avoiding being bullied, I put myself right in the situation!

I became disgusted with myself for being so stupid. I became disgusted that I tried to change for these egotistical pathetic excuses of human beings. A tear escaped from my eye. Harry calmed down on the laughing when he noticed. "Come on, Belle. Suck it up. You had to know how awful you look right now!"
"By the way your dressed, I can tell you are ready to have fun with Harry tonight! Who would have known you could look like such a slut?!" Louis laughed.
"Harry won't let that thing near him! Not with a face like that!" Niall piped in before erupting into a fit of laughter.
Liam shook his head and walked away. I didn't bother to look back at Harry, he was probably laughing just as hard, if not harder.
I immediately ran into the bathroom to look in the mirror.

I never did give myself a final check when I left home.
It couldn't have been that bad.

Apparently, the lighting in this place is much better than at mine.

I almost screamed when I looked in the mirror.
The foundation on my face was several shades too light, and because I didn't spread it down my neck, it stuck out against my natural tanned skin. The blush I had on was far too red. Nicole was right, I did resemble a clown. My blue eyeshadow was too bright, the bronzer far too dark, giving me a deathly look.
And my lips were an awful orange-gold! No wonder my mom never touched this makeup!

I fell to the ground in tears for being so stupid. I looked like a monster. I dressed like a prostitute.
My stomach began to knot from my embarrassment. My face started to sweat.
I ran into the stall and began dry-heaving into the toilet. I couldn't stop. I had no control over my body. I could still hear them laughing down the hall. I hoped they couldn't hear me.

Eventually, I stopped. I didn't remove myself from the stall, I brought my knees to my chest, rocking myself back and forth as I silently cried to myself for a while. I didn't care about getting to class.
I decided I would skip the first couple periods.
I managed to shakily walk over to the sink and wash my face. It took a while but I got all the makeup. I stared down and watched the horrific colors washing down the drain.

I looked up at myself.

I looked so...broken.

It was second period now and I was still in the bathroom, but I couldn't allow myself to leave the restroom.
I felt this huge burden on my shoulder. I needed some sort of release, but I didn't know how to get it.

I began to cry again.
I heard footsteps outside the door.
"Are you okay in there?" That voice sounded familiar.
All I could manage was a sniffle.
The door opened and a girl with red hair meekly walked in.
"Belle? Oh my god, are you okay?"
She wrapped her arms tightly around me as I released my sobs into her shoulder. I began to shake and I could tell she was struggling to hold me up.

"What happened?"
"I'm so embarrassed. I just thought...I could be more beautiful. I didn't realize I looked so so...bad. The lighting, my judgement. Nicole. Niall and Louis. Harry. I'm so embarrassed."
"Ssshh, it's okay, it's okay."
She stayed with me for the rest of the period, not caring if she got in trouble. We didn't talk but she continued to comfort me with her warm embrace.
I felt so ashamed. Not only did I look like a some crazy hooker, but I acted like a fool, trying to seductively capture Harry's attention, only to be made fun of and.....bullied.

She had to leave for third period to take a test, but she said she would try to look for me afterwards. I nodded as she kissed my forehead. "Hang in there, okay?"

I decided I didn't want stay any longer. I needed to go home. My dad was at work and my mom was out running errands with Anne. I knew that because they talked about it over dinner.

I walked out the school buildings and began to jog.

Once I reached my house, I barged through the front door before falling to the ground as I cried and screamed.
The burden was still on my shoulders.

I needed release. Release.

My stomach was screaming at me. I was hungry. I ran to the fridge and opened it up to see four cupcakes and half a pie leftover from yesterday.
I pulled it all out and stuffed it down my stomach.

It wasn't enough, and now I was worried I would gain weight.
I ran up the stairs as best I could. My legs were weak and my head began to spin as I ran to my toilet. I proceeded to gag myself, emptying the contents of my stomach.

I had never done this before.....it didn't work.

What else was there?

I looked in my shower and saw my razor.

Was this the answer?
I began to reach for it as I stopped myself.
"NO! Bella Hope Wood, you can't do this! You promised yourself you would never do this. No matter how bad it gets, you must remember your promise!" Anyone would've thought I was crazy as I screamed at myself.

But the release! How could I continue living without some sort of release?
The inner battle was waging within me. I no longer was crying. I had already cried my last tear. I had nothing more to express, my pain was at its peak, numbing me to the core.

My eyesight seemed to fade, everything around me looked dull, black and grey.
I began trembling. I couldn't control myself. My body didn't listen to my words as I reached for the razor.
I grasped it firmly in my hand as I proceeded to scrape along my arm, not too deeply. At least I could manage that.
I screamed in pain.
Pain. I felt pain, physical pain. This pain, it wasn't the emotional pain I was trying to escape from. My burden wasn't lifted, but it was masked.

I found a temporary release.
I looked at the two inch streak running from my wrist down my arm.
I placed the razor next to the mark, placing a another cut similar to the one I had just made.
I looked down at my arm, blood was flowing, now dripping to the ground.
I screamed as I realized what I had just done, I threw the bloody razor across the bathroom floor. My body continued to tremble in fear, but the darkness around me seemed to subside as I took control of my body, refusing to continue cutting.
I clenched my arm in pain.
The burden grew on my shoulders.

I broke the one promise I made to myself.
I cut for the first time.

Blood had gotten onto my shirt, but I didn't mind. I would never have worn this again anyway.
It was too painful of a reminder.


I got the first aid kit to clean out my cuts, placing bandages over them.

I walked up to my room and collapsed onto my bed, drifting off into a deep sleep, soon to be met by more nightmares.


Melody's POV
It was finally lunch time and I went to go search for Belle. I pulled out my phone to call her when I saw a text message from her.

Belle:
Went home. Couldn't take it anymore

The text worried me a bit, but I knew Belle would be fine eventually. She was a strong person, I could tell. I just don't know why she felt the need to use so much makeup today. She's one of the most beautiful girls I had ever seen without makeup, and I couldn't believe she didn't know it.
How could she not know that?

I felt a wave of anger as I remember my conversation with her in the bathroom earlier. She mentioned Niall, Louis, Nicole, and Harry.

I stormed my way into the lunch room and furiously looked around for those jerks.
I spotted them. I stormed my way over to their table. Liam, Sierra, and Zayn were also with them. I swear if Liam was in on this too.....

"What the hell is wrong with you people?!" I shouted.

"Whoa honey, no need to cause I scene." Nicole smirked.

"What are you talking about?" Louis looked seriously confused. The nerve of this kid.
Were they really this clueless?

"You." I glared at Harry.

"Me? What did I do to you, Melody?"

"All. of. you." I closed my eyes, not being able to stand the sight of these disgusting creatures.
Liam stood up. "Is this about Belle?"
"Of course you twat!!!" I snapped at him, he looked hurt. I didn't mean to snap at him, but I was just so angry.
"She looked like a freak, it's not like we could help it!" Nicole shrieked.
"She's a fucking human being! Humans don't treat other humans like that!" I spat.
"Look we didn't think it would hurt her that much. We were just having a little fun. Anyone looking like that would have needed to realize it was coming there way." Harry explained as if he had every reason to do what he did.
My hand met his cheek at a quick rate. People were watching but I didn't care. Belle's brother, Jon, came up to us.
"What's going on?" His face was full of concern.
"These people thought it would be in their best interest to make fun of Belle. They hurt her, and now she ran home."
"She went home?" Harry said, his face finally showing a small hint of concern, as he rubbed the red spot on his cheek. Bastard.
"Are you kidding me?! We came here to get her away from that!!!!" Jon boomed.
Everyone went quiet. Everyone was shocked, even me. We all knew Jon, in the short time we had gotten to know him, as a calm fellow.
But what shocked us more was what he said.

"Get away from what?" Harry stepped forward.










Notes

Okay, so this was really hard for me to write..I'm gonna try my best to lighten the mood of the story in the next few chapters. But Belle's makeup...lolol. That was some ugly shiz.

Tell me what you think! And I added Nicole to the character list so you can see what she looks like.

Vote, subscribe, and COMMENT so I can get to work on the next update! :)


Comments

@AnonUserForever
Crap lol, I checked wattpad a while ago but I haven't recently. Thank you very much:)

@JennStyles

you have to find the story on wattpad for the updates...im actually already on the second book lol

When are you going to update:(

love it!!!!!!!!!! update soon:)

This story is good love it !!!! :D