
New Life, New Love
Again?!
*Thursday*
I walked out of that stupid self-actualization class quickly. I let out a sigh of relief as I was no longer by Harry, forced to inhaled his cologne.
Some girls came up to me from chemistry class and started talking. I gave them my best smile, it was genuine because I actually liked them. We were laughing and having a good time, when I saw Harry staring in my direction, glaring of course. He was with a group of people, Niall, Zayn, and Nicole included.
My smile turned into a frown and I rolled my eyes.
"Hey girls, I gotta go. See ya tomorrow!"
"Are you going to the party on friday?" One of them asked with a little too much excitement for my liking.
Ugh. I almost forgot about that.
"Yeah. I am..so I guess I'll see ya there?" They all nodded.
"Bye!" I waved as I made my way to the door.
Nicole stopped me in my tracks.
"Belle! Over here!' I groaned as I turned to face her and Harry's entourage.
"What?"
"I heard you were going to the party. Who with?"
"Why is that of your concern?"
"It's Harry, right?"
I shrugged. "Believe me. It wasn't my choice."
"Well, I hope you bring a condom." She let out a laugh, giving me her best smile she could muster. Niall joined and this other kid with blue eyes and dark hair laughed as well.
"Why?" My voice held a disgusted tone.
"Harry likes to fuck girls when he takes them out." The blue eyed kid said. "By the way, I'm Louis. Nice to meet you, love."
"Um, nice to meet you too?"
Nicole chirped in again. "Does it scare you?"
"Does what scare me?"
"Knowing you are about to get fucked by the biggest heartbreaker in the school?"
"Uhhh no, because it's not gonna happen."
"Are you serious?!"
"Yes." I passed the point of irritation and went straight to angry.
"Oh my god. Are you really?"
"Am I really what?!?!"
"You're a virgin aren't you!!!" Everyone started laughing as if it was the most pathetic thing on earth.
I balled my hands up. "That's none of your concern!"
She shrugged of my anger. I looked over and saw Harry smirking at me, his face seemed to say "Are you for real? Pathetic"
Nicole changed the subject. "I should let you know, these parties actually expect you to dress up. So, you might wanna put makeup on that face of yours and wear clothes that actually suit your body shape. You'll probably need to get fashion advice from one of your little friends....if you have any."
I looked over at Harry, a smirk still plastered on his face. He clearly was enjoying this.
My mind flashed back to Oregon, when the my bullies constantly told me how ugly and fat I was. I felt my cheeks turn red, a mixture of anger and embarrassment.
"Oh don't be so flustered, love! I'm doing you a favor. I'm telling you that need to work on your appearance so you don't look like a five year old boy who just rolled out of bed. Sometimes the truth hurts, but its good for you to hear it. Harry over here agrees with me. We talked about this earlier. Most people don't have the guts to tell you the truth. But I do." She stepped forward before finishing off her little speech. "Your face needs help." With that she turned towards Harry's friends and began chattering away.
They all were laughing when she was criticizing me. Usually, those kind of words about my appearance would wear off after awhile, I never cared what people thought I looked like, but this time her words actually stung...deep. I felt tears forming in my eyes. Not one of them stood up for me, they all went back to talking like I didn't exist, like Nicole hadn't just put me down, humiliating me. Not even Niall said something and I thought him and I were becoming good friends. I turned on my heels and ran out of the building, running towards home.
As I ran, I couldn't help the tears from flowing.
What if the bullying starts up again? What if this is just the beginning? I began to hear the words in my mind.
"Fat. Ugly. Worthless."
Now Nicole's words joined those, "Your face needs help."
And Harry agreed with her. He didn't tell me but she brought up a past conversation they had. He didn't object to what she said. So, Harry thinks I'm ugly?
Am I supposed to always be the victim, unloved and unwanted?
I raced towards home, plopped down on bed and pulled out my homework, hoping to distract myself from everything.
"Belle! Honey, come down here!"
I went to the kitchen where my mom was preparing dinner. She had a lot of food laid out. All the good china was sitting on the counter. What as going on?
She looked at me, "A british ambassador is coming over!"
"What? An ambassador?"
"Yes! You need to go upstairs and wear something nice. And I mean, nice. And would it kill you to throw on a little makeup and fix your hair?"
Normally, I would brush it off, but after what happened today my mom only deepened the wound I was feeling. I know she didn't mean to do it, but she really hurt me, more than necessary.
"Okay. Why is their an ambassador coming over?"
"Well, it's a long story. Anne is divorced. Her ex husband is an ambassador. He wanted to have a dinner with Anne and his kids, but she didn't want to do it alone. We've become very close these past few days, so I said they could all come over here instead. She agreed!"
"Harry's coming over, again!?"
"Something wrong with that?" My mom looked quizzical.
I let out a groan and stomped up the stairs.
"Jon and Grace and your dad will be home any minute now, I expect you all to be completely ready in an hour! It's 5:30 and our guests will be here at 6:45. Remember, please put some effort into your appearance tonight."
As I went into my room, I couldn't stop the stray tear that escaped my eye.
What was so wrong with my appearance?
I stared into my bathroom mirror, trying to pick out all my flaws. I shook my head in disappointment. I wanted to get rid of this feeling, but I needed to get ready.
I jumped in the shower quickly, allowing the tear stains on my cheeks to wash away. I did all I needed to do: shampoo, condition, and shave.
I quickly hopped out and proceeded to dry my hair. For once, I decided to wear it down. I even went an extra mile and reached for the mousse. I hadn't used it yet, my mom bought it for me a couple months ago, but I never was bothered to use it.
But I knew Harry was coming over and I felt I had to prove myself. I opened up the can and began to scrunch it through my dark waves as they continued to dry.
I went to the closet and started pulling out my unworn dresses. I picked a black dress with gold accents. It hit the middle of my thigh, a little shorter than what I was used to. The top came down lower than I would have liked but it still didn't show much. I took out my moon shaped necklace and put on black and gold heels. By this time, my hair was dry.
I went back into the bathroom to look. It actually looked...nice. At least, I thought so.
It was a little wavier than usual, there were slight curls present. I nodded in admiration.
I was about to walk out when I remember one more thing.
Makeup.
Now this was pushing it. I never wore makeup but that fact that Harry was coming over made me consider it.
I wasn't trying to impress him, I swear. I just wanted to prove to him that.... I don't know what it was, but I wanted to prove something.
But maybe also side wanting to prove something, I also wanted to prevent something. That something was bullying.
Maybe if I was prettier people would accept me more? Maybe people would think I was worthy of love?
I rummaged through my things and found a reddish/purple lip gloss, grazing it over my already plump lips. Now I wasn't an expert so I decided to remain low key on the eye makeup, only swiping a bit of mascara onto my eyelashes. I didn't bother with blush as my cheeks were "naturally rosey".
I took one last look in the mirror to make sure I wasn't forgetting anything.
I heard my sister getting ready in her room, she was running around excited. She loved any excuse to get dressed up.
Her and I are complete opposites in that respect.
When I heard the doorbell ring, my nerves kicked in.
Notes
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@AnonUserForever
Crap lol, I checked wattpad a while ago but I haven't recently. Thank you very much:)
6/28/14