New Life, New Love

"I really like this dress..." His whispered words warmed my ear. I was practically frozen as I felt him hardening against my leg.

His larger hands slowly glid down my sides to my hips. He began to forcibly move my hips to meet his. I felt extremely dirty.

Not horny. Just dirty.

I also felt like I was being watched. I slowly scanned around the room, incredibly self-conscious of what I was engaging in right now. I jumped slightly when my eyes met darkened green eyes. Harry's face held a bit of a scowl as he continued to dance with Nicole. He looked slightly irritated? In response to my focus, his hands crept up to Nicole's chest and began palming her breasts. His eyebrow raised up as he gave me a small smirk.
I could feel my face pull into a frown.

Why was I angry? I don't like Harry like that...so why was I angry?



I stepped away quickly from Toby's grasp, and turned around to face him. I said the first thing that came to my mind.

"Will you get me a drink?" Toby's eyes seemed intrigued with my words. He quickly went to retrieve my drink and came back in a matter of seconds.
He held the cup up to my lips. "Tilt your head back." I could hear the humor in his words.
Still aware of Harry's eyes on me, I complied to Toby's demand. I bent my head backwards as Toby held the alcohol to my mouth, allowing it to slowly burn down my dry throat. When I had gotten the last drop, Toby pulled the cup away from my lips. He gave me a wink before getting another red cup, repeating his actions. The burn of the alcohol soon coursed through me. I could feel myself getting drunk.

There was something about Toby that intrigued me. The way his cool, blue eyes contrasted with his dark shiny hair made my stomach do small flips. There was something about him that seemed dangerous. Not "he's gonna break my heart" dangerous, but literally dangerous.
It's actually really sexy.

Wait, what? I don't think I'll ever drink again........

I could tell he knew a lot more about the world than me, and I found myself wanting to learn from him.

A slower song came on, and it must have been the alcohol, I boldly put my arms around Toby's neck. His hands travelled to my lower back and he forced me forward into him.

"You smell fucking sexy."

Something about the way he said those words really frightened me, but I was drunk, so I decided to take them as a compliment.
"Thanks." My voice came out quieter than I intended.

"I would love to wrap my hands round your arse." Wow. This guy was bold. His words sent a frightened shiver done my spine. "Do I frighten you?" He asked, clearly amused. As I was trying to process his words, I felt his hands glide down to my butt, putting my cheeks in a firm hold. I glanced over Toby's broad shoulder and saw Harry and Nicole staring at me. Nicole's mouth was slightly open, clearly she was in shock.
Harry also looked a little shocked, but he looked....well, he didn't look happy. I felt my heart quicken when he looked down at the ground. Why is Harry angry? I just don't understand. I would say he's jealous, but he doesn't like me. If he likes me, he wouldn't have danced like that with Nicole, not when he brought me here.

"Well..do I?" Toby's voice broke me out of my thoughts. I fixed my eyes to his. What was his question again?
Oh yeah...

"A little..." I said as Toby's face broke out into a full grin. He had a nice smile, despite his grumpy appearance.

"Good."

I felt another shiver run down my spine.
"Why is that good?" Our eyes were still concentrated on each other.

"Your fear gives me power. Power gives me control." My eyes widened. His lips were barely touching mine. "I love control." His mouth pressed to mine and before I knew it, his tongue was engaging mine.
The kiss gave me an adrenaline rush. And I'm sure I wouldn't have allowed him to kiss me if it wasn't for the alcohol I had previously consumed, but something about making out with a total stranger excited me.

"Bella, what the hell?"
I immediately noticed that Toby's lips were not against mine. I also noticed that Toby was sprawled out on the ground. Harry was standing over him with clenched fists.

"Don't touch her you bastard." Harry's words were forced through his gritted teeth. He didn't make eye contact with me but he grabbed my wrist and tugged me around the house, pulling me past bodies and through different hallways, up the stairs, and, finally, into an empty room.


He tugged me toward the bed and let go of my hand. He walked back to the door and slammed it, causing me to jump a little. His back was faced towards me but I could see his shoulders moving up and down quickly, as if his angry was taking over his breathing.

He stood there like that for what seemed like ages, not speaking.

"Harry?" The second I mention his name, he snapped around on his heels and walked over to me.

"What the actual fuck, Bella?! You can't do that!" He still wasn't making eye contact with me. At this point, he was standing about a foot away from me, his eyes fixed on the ground between us. I noticed he was still balling his fists, and the vein in his neck was protruding.

I sighed. "I can't do what?"

"Act like a whore!" His words cut deeply the wounds that had already been engraved by my previous bullies.

"I'm not a whore." My eyes joined his in looking at the ground. I could hear that my voice was shaky, signaling my vulnerable state.

"I didn't say you were a whore, but, damn, you were certainly acting like it out there!" Harry threw his hands up in the air.

"Why does it even matter to you if I act like a whore?! You hang out with girls who do worse things than me...and I...I was only kissing him! He frightened me into it or something...I don't know..but you have no right to judge me Harry! No right!" I yelled back at him. Now my fists were clenched tightly at my sides. My words were slightly slurred and I couldn't think clearly. I was no regretting the alcohol I had consumed.

"I don't know...." Harry said, surprisingly quiet. I knew very well he did know why, but for some reason he didn't want me to know why. But I'm not having it. He will tell me exactly why, even if it takes me all night to get it out of him.

"Tell me why or I'm going back out there and I'll let Toby have my damn virginity!" Harry looked as shocked at my words as I was myself.

"Fuck! You will not!" He yelled back. No, he was right, I wouldn't have sex with Toby, but Harry couldn't be sure of that.

"Oh, you don't want to challenge me right now..." I threatened. Harry remained silent as he ran his hands through his hair. I started walking towards the door.

"Fine! Fuck....I just..."

"Now, Harry! Or I'm leaving..."

"Stop!" He grabbed my arm to pull me to face him. He looked...almost frightened. "You're different, okay?"

"What is that supposed to mean?!" I found myself getting angrier and angrier with the more time he took to explain himself.

"You're different! You aren't like other girls. You don't feel like you have to dress super sexy or wear makeup to get a guy's attention..you respect yourself....I don't know..how else to...there is something about you that I...I just...you're different, okay?" He looked frustrated that he, himself, couldn't give a solid explanation.
My heart beat raced as I slowly realized something. He thinks I'm different? He said I respected myself. The way he looks so...nervous and not like himself. What was he trying to say?

"Harry, do you....do you have feelings for me?" I asked quietly as my eyes traveled up to meet his widened green ones. The intensity in them alone sent electricity through my body. He opened his mouth to reply.

Notes

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