Harry.


Days have passes and with those days fading so did my eagerness to get Louis' attention. For a couple of days, I tried and tried but obviously none of them worked. I decided that if Louis wasn't going to care any more than why should I? A friendship can't work if the other doesn't try.
It upset me but what's done is done. Zayn is able to get his best friend back if he wants. No more Harry in the way to ruin it again. Who needs a best friend any way? I can get my own strength, I am there for me, I wont let myself down and I dont need someone to be my protector if I can be it for myself. Louis doesn't need to help me any more, I can do it myself.

"Harry, eat your breakfast. You're going to be late for school"

"yes mum." School has improved a lot in the past few days despite losing Louis. Nick doesnt bother me any more and my grades have been well. My teachers say I can be in my regular classes again and if I have trouble i can be taught alone again. To be put in regular classes made me pani a lutle but I can at least try.
Δ

The whole class was silent when I walked through the door and sat down next to Niall. They all stared at me like I was a ghost. I tries to ignore it but how can you when 22 people are looking at you?
"Hey! You're back in class." Niall said excitedly.
I nodded, "Yeah, they felt it would work out well and we're going to give it a try. Im just not used to all these people staring at me."
Niall looked around and told people to stop staring.
"Eh, they're just shocked. Leave them be. Oh shit. here comes Nick. Dont say anything okay?"
I look up to see Nick looking down on me.
"So Styles, you're back in class. You know I heard what happened to you. Quite dramatic to be honest."
I was confused. What did he hear? Please dont tell me it's about what I think it is.
"Um. What did you hear?" I didnt want him to respond, yet I wanted to know what.
"About the hospital and why you were there. Also heard that Louis Tomlinson is your boyfriend? I knew it all along that you were gay. Never expected Louis though. Man, did i think he was cool. oh well things change." He just laughed and started to leave.
"He's not my boyfriend any more. That was before. Please dont bring him up." It made me uncomfortable to talk about him but at the same time all I wanted to do was talk about him.
"Aww. What's wrong? He broke your heart? Well maybe he didnt want to date a loser like you. Man Styles, no one wants you. So this time how about you actually leave? Louis wont be there. That's for sure."
I just wanted to punch him in the face. Seeing him laugh at me was irritating but what he had said infuriated me. This rage inside me was getting bottled up and needed to come out. I looked Nick in the eye and punched him as hard as I could.
I did not regret it at all.

When the teacher finally came in class all she saw was Nick on the ground and people all around. No one said a single thing. When the teacher asked what happened, all they said was that he fell. They all looked at me and smiled. What did I do to make them do that? Niall just laughed as low as he could and high fived me.
Δ

During lunch time, Louis sits alone. What bothers me is that he never seems to look up and at least glance at me. He probably didnt even miss me. All of this bullshit was getting annoying and it was time to put a stop to it.
I looked over to him and gained the confidence to get up and walk to the table where he was sitting.
"Louis, stop ignoring me. This is ridiculous and i know you probably dont care but i still do."
He didnt even look at me.
"Stop fucking ignoring me! Do you even care any more? What the fuck happened to always being there? What kind of friend are you? This is bullshit Louis"
The only thing he looked at was his hands. He pretended like i wasnt there.
"You know what? Fuck you. Keep ignoring me. How does it feel without me? It must be great. I'll just leave then. Enjoy yourself."
This time he looked at me and opened his mouth.
"It is great. With you not being around I dont have to worry as much."
Well that's just lovely. It is true.
"I dont have to worry about falling in love again with a boy who doesnt remember what we had. One who will never love me like before. You can leave now."
And I will.
I studied him for a while before asking, "Do you still love me?"
I was afraid of the answer. In both ways of yes or no. I wasnt even sure which one i wanted to hear.
All he replied with was," Trying not to."

Notes