Trapped

*Lily's P.O.V*

This was the first time in months I've actually woken up peacefully.
No stupid ass alcoholic hovering over me, forcing me to have sex with him.
Not scared.
Not tied to the bed.
Not being dragged by the hair, screaming at the top of my lungs for help.
Not having to fear that I was gonna die in that god forsaken house like it's the freaking Hunger Games.
Everything's just...
Calm.

I looked out the window, enjoying the view of the sun rising and the smooth movement of bus. I was finally free. I've been trapped inside that jail of a house that I almost forgot how beautiful it was outside. Jake kept me from everything. Kept me from friends, hang outs, fun, happiness.. I really wish it wasn't like this.

Somewhere down the road, I closed my eyes once more, just letting my mind drifted off to how things were before. This was never how it was when we first started out, you know? Everything was better way back when. You should have seen us. I was 17, he was 18. Just two teenagers who were foolishly in love. Or at least, I thought it was love. I never really knew what love was - I still don't know what it is or how to do it now - but with Jake, I thought he would teach me. I thought wrong.
The first year together were amazing. We bought a house together after graduation, planned out how we would live and start a family. He showed me a whole new world - things I've never seen before, things he's never showed anyone else before. It was exactly like a fairytale. I really thought we'd never end.
But around the middle of our second year together, something went wrong. I have no idea what but all I know is Jake started coming home later and later. He would say he was out with friends and come back smelling like booze. It was stupid of me to think that this shit was okay, but I pushed it aside. But here's when everything got real..
A year and a half ago, I came home, excited to tell Jake that I had just gotten accepted to UCSF in California, and already submitted everything I had to, to let them know I was coming there. I thought this could be a magnificent start for me and Jake. I would go to school, he'd get a job.. We'd find another house.. But as soon as I entered the house, the smell of cigarettes and alcohol filled the air, and an unfamiliar pair of red heels and panties greeted me by the door. I looked around and called for Jake, just hoping that this was a joke.
But it wasn't.
On my bed I saw my best friend, Kara, drunk as fuck laying on top of Jake. They hadn't noticed my presence, but I had to make sure they knew I was there. I grabbed Kara by the hair and dragged her ass out of my bed, not giving one single fuck if I was gonna rip her hair off. thinking back, I kinda wish I had taken the chance to. But Jake got up, and pulled her away from my grasp. He took Kara and whispered something in her ear. I couldn't quite make out the words, but it tore me apart to see how he cared for her much more than he cared for me. After making sure she was safe and sound ON MY BED, I stood there, broken hearted that my best friend and my boyfriend had backstabbed me. I yelled at him, "How could you do this to me? How long has this been going on?!" "4 months", she said shamelessly. I looked back at Jake, who still had his back toward me. "Oh so these two years together don't mean shit to you, do they?" Still no response. "And you, Kara!" She looked at me, surprised. "My best fucking friend. We grew up together! You were like my own sister and you throw me away like I don't mean shit!" I stood there, crying my eyes out and yelling to the top of my lungs. Jake still didn't look at me. "I hope you guys enjoy your fucking time together." Still, no response from either of them. It angered me how Jake was letting me go... Just like that. His lack of response basically made me feel as if he was holding the door for me to leave. Irritated, I grabbed my shoe and threw it at his head. He turned to me. His facial expression had me terrified. He looked ready to kill. I didn't even need to think, I started to run away but he sped towards me. He caught me, pulled me by my shirt, and dragged me to the other room. Without missing a single second, he grabbed me in a choke hold and whispered aggressively in my ear, "Listen, Lulu, you ain't leavin yet. Yeah, I fucked your best friend. So what? Fucked many other bitches before her anyways. I don't see the problem." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Did he not care that he was hurting me? And.. Lulu? That's not my fucking name. He let go of me. "So it wasn't just her?! There were more?!" I yelled. "Hell yeah there were. They gave a lot more than what you did." He turned around, back towards me and ready to leave the door. I raced to him, ready to punch, slap, kick or pull off any Karate Kid moves, but failed. He turned around, his back to me with the same terrifying look he shot at me minutes before. He raised his hand high and slapped me forcefully. If he had followed with some more hits, I swear he could've broken me.

I was on the floor, my body almost paralyzed. I was too weak to move. I couldn't even open my eyes. I was too scared of what would happen. He bent down, so that his face was near mine. "alright bitch, now that you've finally shut up, this is what's happening." I made no movement. "I'm gonna go into the other room and leave you here. But you ain't going nowhere. You're gonna stay here, as my bitch. Do everything I say, otherwise, the next beat down you get, you won't be so lucky." After that, he walked out the room and locked it, just like he said he would. I don't know how long I stayed on that floor. I was too scared to move.
Ever since then, his drinking and drug use got worse. The abuse got worse as well - mental abuse, drug abuse, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse... I don't know how I was even able to survive.

The bus jolted to a stop unexpectedly which caused me to snap up real quick.
I don't know why but with that rocky stop, I was scared. I knew it was impossible that Jake could be following me or have any clue as to where I was going, but my mind still feared the thought of it happening. He's not with me, but these thoughts of the past taunted me. I shook away his memory and continued to let the motion of the bus lull me to sleep. I know, I did hella sleeping lately, but.. Come on. I've never had this luxury of sleeping and waking up whenever I wanted, so shit. I'm gonna take this chance.
~

I finally woke up. I took my time opening my eyes because I was too excited to finally see San Francisco. Maybe this could be my new start.. UCSF was waiting for me anyways, so.. Maybe this could be good.

Instead of waking up to the beautiful sight of the city, I woke up to the bus driver, almost face to face with me.
"Hey lady," he said.
"You gonna get out of the bus now, or what?" He asked. I just stare at him, not understanding why he was mad. "Get your shit and leave. I got a family to go back to." "At least, you've got something to go back to, asshole." As soon as the words left my mouth I regretted them because he grabbed me by the arm & led me out the bus. He didn't care whether I got out safely, he just threw me. I let out a small cry as my body hit the cement floor. Are all the guys I'm about to meet gonna be assholes or what?? I picked myself up and started on my way.

I'm not really familiar with this place though. I've been here maybe once or twice and only for a short time. Before, my mom and dad liked to move all over the place. 1) because my parents loved to travel and 2) because my dad was apart of the U.S Military so we moved from here to there, all the time. But three years ago.. My parents were fighting about something.. I don't know what but it seemed a bit intense. They came into the living room, where I was, and went out for dinner, hoping they could figure something out.
I called them every now and then to make sure they were fine. On the last phone call I made, dad picked up the phone. His words were slurred as if he had been drinking.
"Hello? Dad?"
"Mmm.. Euhh.. Yes, Lily?"
"Where's mom? Are you guys okay?"
"Euhh.. Ya, Lily.. We're almost... HONEY, MOVE. "
I heard my mom scream and then later, a loud crash.
"Almost what?! Move where?! Dad?!"
No answer.
"Mom?!"
Still no answer.
The line was dead.

Hours passed and I grew worried.
But soon, I got a call from the police. They told me that my parents had died in a car accident. The police said they found their car at the bottom of the hill, smashed and flipped upside down. Later on they sent me out to live with my auntie, who lived in Oregon. My life with my auntie is another story that I won't get into as much, but all I know is when I was given the news of my parents and having to move in with my auntie, I stayed up all night, crying my eyes out. Because they're gone.. The two people who meant the world to me were gone just like that and ever since then.. I've been alone. Even with Jake, I felt completely alone. I didn't have my dad's shoulder to cry on when I had a broken heart.. I didn't feel the warm love and hugs from a mother.. Didn't experience true, genuine love and care from a man I shared my heart, my world and my dreams with..
I had nothing.
I have nothing.

Notes

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