Second Chances

Mom is waiting for me when I walk inside our house.

She is looking at me intently, expecting me to tell her everything.

I shut the door behind me and place my brochures on the nearest counter.

Mom’s eyes never leave my sight.

I take my cardigan off and drape it over the kitchen chair, taking a seat.

My breathing quickens, and I begin.

“The appointment went good.” I start.

“What did the doctor tell you? What all happened.” Mom asks.

“Um. He showed Zayn and me the sonogram of the baby. He gave us pictures. And he provided me with information of what to do when the baby comes. About the decision I’m choosing.”

“Decision?” Mom repeats.

“Yes.”

“What is the Doctor’s name?”

“Dr. Jacob Thames.”

“And what is your decision?” Mom asks.

“I am going to give the baby up for adoption.” I state clearly.

Mom gasps and puts her hand over her mouth.

Her eyes widen.

She also isn’t happy about my choice.

“Mom.” I begin. “I know that it sounds rough, but it’s what I have to do.”

“Anastasia. Why would you do such a thing?” she pouts.

“I am unfit to be a mother. I can’t do it by myself.” I defend.

“Ana, you won’t be by yourself.”

“Who is going to be with me Mom? I’m not going to drag you down with me.”

“And what about Zayn?” she points out.

“What about him?”

“Does he know that you’re going to give the baby away?”

“Yes. He doesn’t like it.”

“He wants to raise it? He wants to take care of the baby?” Mom says raising an eyebrow.

“It sounds like it.”

“Then give him a chance Ana.”

I sit back and start inhaling and exhaling.

Mom says to give him a chance.

He hasn’t proved that he’s worth being a father.

Should I give him a chance?

“Mom. I-I…”

“Ana. That boy is willing to give up everything to help you.”

“You don’t know half of it Mom.”

“I know that he isn’t going to run. He went with you to your first doctor’s appointment. Let him in.”

I shake my head disapprovingly and turn away.

I can’t listen to this.

“Zayn is willing to help you raise the child Anastasia. You cannot give your first child away. It will be the biggest mistake you make. And you cannot turn Zayn out. He’s the father.”

“Since when did you decide to show mercy for him? You don’t even know him.” I snap.

“He is the father and he doesn’t want you to give your child away. You cannot let that baby be born into this world without a father.”

“What’s so great about having a father?”

“Oh Anastasia stop it.”

“No Mom. I don’t have a father. Zayn doesn’t. What makes the baby any better?”

“Zayn wants to have the child. He wants to father it. Why can’t you just accept it Ana?”

“I’m not going to depend on Zayn. A father doesn’t make a difference in a person’s life anyway. And I’m going to tell you this just like I told Zayn. I am going to give this baby up for adoption.” I say with my voice rising.

I am fuming.

Why can’t anyone accept my decision?

“I don’t need you or Zayn telling me what to do.” I scoff before storming off.

I grab the brochures and stomp to my room, slamming my door shut.

I look through all the brochures before throwing each one away.

The sonogram picture catches my attention.

Without thinking, I throw them into the trash as well.

I collapse onto my bed and scream into my pillow.

I don’t care what anybody thinks.

It’s my life, my body, and my willing to give.

Dear ignorance, I might just see you in Hell.

But I am giving this baby away.

Adoption is what I’m going with.

Notes

You probably hate me. :(

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