Clarity

The next morning I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. Groaning softly, upset to be arisen from my slumber, I cuddled futher into my blankets,and nuzzled my face into my pillow.
I still felt achy and worn down from my wild night last night, and honestly just wanted to sleep. But as fate would have it the phone kept ringing, so I recluently sat up with a yawn and grabbed it off the bedside to answer it.
"Hello?" I mumbled, my morning voice showing through. "Hey Louis! It's your mum." My mum's chirpy voice said on the other end, and I woke up a just a little bit more. "Oh hey mummy." I said in response, glancing at the clock to see it was a little after eleven.
Great, that would probably explain why Harry wasn't here and I was.
"Hi love, I was just calling to ask if you were home from your trip yet?" She inquired, and I nodded even though she couldn't see me.
"Yup, just flew in yesterday then went to a party with Shailene and Marcus. You just woke me up actually." I informed, tossing back my covers which exposed my nude body to the piercing cold.
I had better get some clothes on before going downstairs.
"Oh okay! Well are you planning to come visit this weekend? We haven't seen you in ages." She whined, in the motherly way, and I shrugged.
""I hope I can. I've been really busy lately, but I will get back to you on that." I promised, feeling guilty I hadn't seen them in nearly a month.
My excuse was true though, Harry and school was keeping me on my toes, but I did need to set aside a couple of days to spend with them. If they had lived closer I would've definately gone to see them everyday, but sadly I didn't have enough time to drive fourty minutes away every day.
"Okay love. Well I'm afraid I'll have to cut this call short, I need to get the girls ready for school. Love you boo." She sighed, and I smiled to myself as I pulled on a pair of fresh boxers. "I love you to mum, kiss the girls for me." I requested, then we both hung up.
After ending the call I finished pulling on my boxers, which were technically Harry's, and I grabbed my t-shirt from yesterday and slipped it on. If I keep spending the night this frequently I may have to leave some clothes here.
At that thought reminse of Harry's request for me to move in came to mind, but even with the current events I felt as if two month's was to soon even though we had fallen for each other how Romeo fell for Juliet.
Hard.
Once I was dressed, and had used Harry's gel flecked comb to brush my hair, I proceeded to go downstairs and get a bite to eat before trying to make the last couple of classes at the University.
"Morning Maddie." I said the instant she came into my eye-line, and she looked up from the dishes she was drying with a grin. "More like afternoon Louis." She teased, then pointed to the microwave.
"Harry made you breakfest, again." She informed, and turned back to her work as I nodded and walked over to see what Harry cooked this time. In the microwave there was one of the glass plates, and on was an oversized omlete that had a note on top of it.
Of course.
Shaking my head at him with a smile, I pulled the plate out then walked over to the table before reading the note.
'I looooove you so much! I can't wait to see you in class ;) ~Your Sexy Mr. Styles xXXx'
Laughing at how cute the wording, and spelling of the note was, I folded it back up and placed it aside so I could begin to eat.
"It wasn't to much work cleaning up the party now was it?" I asked Maddie inbetween mouthfuls, feeling guilty that she had to take on the responsibility of cleaning that disaster.
''No not at all! Harry hired a twenty-four hour cleaning crew to come in after the party and clean up. All I had to do was watch." She shrugged, biting her tongue as she worked on the pot.
"Oh okay. I think that would make more sense." I commented, waving around my work before talking another bite as I rested my chin in my other hand. Then for the next couple of minutes there was silence.
The only sounds being heard was me chewing, and Maddie cleaning up the kitchen. She seemed to like cleaning the kitchen.
"Did someone die? It's so quiet in here." A groggy female voice then called out, and I glanced to the doorway of the kitchen to see Gemma. Hey I mean, I'm not one to judge, but her appearance was a bit surprising.
Her hair of course was messy from sleeping, but her pj's were awfully revealing.
"Hi Gemma." I said, quickly pulling my gaze away before I made a comment on her oufit choice. "Hi Louis." She purred back, winking at me before walking over and slipping onto the stool next to me.
Okay.
Maybe Gemma was drunk or I was just imagining things.
"Did you sleep okay? I know sometimes it can be hard sleeping in a new house." I asked, refocusing my attention back to the omlete, and taking small bites of it as she shrug.
"Yeah I slept good, the beds here are comfortable." She said, the purr draining from her tone as she watched me take nibble bites of my omlete with two sharp brown eyes.
"Are you hungry? I'm sure me or Maddie can get you something?" I asked, starting to feel a little uneasy with her staring at me, staring at me like a lion looks at a gazelle. For a moment she was quiet, biting her lip and playing with her hair as she continued to stare at me.
Would it be morally wrong to scoot away, because her gaze was making me uncomfortable? Gemma then gestured to my half eaten omlete. "I'm not hungry for that." She said, a smirk curling onto her face.
"Oh, well. I'm sure Maddie can get you something y-"I started, but my quick answer was cut off by her putting a hand on my thigh. "I really think you'd taste nice Louis." She said, the purr back in her tone.
For a moment all I could do was stare at her in silent surprise. Was she seriously asking me to sleep with her? Was this the same Gemma I met a couple of days ago? What kind of an older sister did this stuff!
"Sorry, only lips permitted are Harry's." I stated, shoving her hand off and scooting away as she rolled her eyes.
"You do know Harry doesn't have to know Louis. I mean he's use to having it happen to him. C'mon just one kiss." She pouted, leaning foreward with puckered lips, and I shoved her away with a nasty look.
"No. My loyality is to Harry and I won't betray it for fun time with his sister!" I said sharply, holding back no definence in my tone as I slid off the stool, and walked out of the kitchen. The absolute nerve of her asking me to screw her.
I was seriously starting to hate Gemma, and from the way she made it sound, she had done this stuff before with his other boyfriends.
"Fine! Fuck that arse! We all know you don't really love him, your just in it for the money!" She shouted, then the bang of the screen door followed a moment later. That was it. I couldn't believe she had the nerve to say that stuff!
There was no way I was letting her get away with it, I was going to defend myself, and suffer the consequences later.
"Excuse me? What on earth gives you the right to say something like that about the both of us?!" I shouted, storming outside after her.
Gemma had been splashing the water from the water fountain on her face when I walked out, and the instant she heard my voice she shot me a nasty glare.
"Harry is a fucking shagger! All he cares about is himself! You don't love Harry and I can see it. Harry is a no good ass and that's why I left him when he was seven! He cried every night like a pathetic baby wishing our parents would stop fighting! We both got abused and it didn't start until Harry came along! It's his fault this family is going to hell!" She shouted, venom in her tone as she spat on the ground, and all I could do was stare at her in another phase of silent shock.
I didn't know how to respond. I didn't even know where this outburst came from? It sounded more to me that her little temper tantrum right now was a result of pent up anger, not me sleeping with her, which my rejection might've pushed her over the edge.
"Until Harry came along?" I asked softly, my tone tight. "Yes! Once Harry was born our family turned to shit! He deserves to die!" She shouted, and I clenched my jaw.
"He does not deserve to die! It wasn't his fault that he was born! You can't blame a baby for your father being an asshole!" I shouted, wishing she was a boy so I could beat the crap out of her, because every word out of her mouth since the drive to the airport had been slandering Harry.
An effort that didn't work on me.
"Oh fuck yes I can!" She shouted back, the both of us stepping towards each with the nasty look the other could muster. I hated Gemma with in that moment, I hated more then anything.
My body was starting to shake, and stomach twist in the nauseated way.
"What is making you say all this? Is it because I won't sleep with you? I'm sorry that I'm not like the other boy-" I started, but then our brawl was cut short when the screen door swung open, and Mrs. Styles appeared.
"Gemma? Louis? I heard shouting, what's going on?" She asked, leaning against the door frame with a look of concern, and I instantly felt guilty. I was bickering with Gemma, and showing my not so nice side, I didn't want her mum to over hear that.
"Harry! He ruins everything! Even Louis! Why did you have that no good ass?" She snapped, using a tone I'd never dare use with my mum. Anne then held up an index finger as she pursed her lips.
"Gemma stop! Last time Harry heard you talking like that he had a rope around his neck! I will not tollerate it. Harry is trying to help us, and you aren't acting the least bit grateful." She snapped, and I nearly doubled over.
I mean, I knew deep down Harry had attempted before, his mum said so herself, but to hear those words made me feel sick.
Especially to think his own sister pushed him to do such a thing. Gemma then screamed, stomping her foot as she stormed into the house, and slammed the screen door behind her, leaving me alone with Anne.
"Gemma has pushed Harry to attempt before?" I squeaked, feeling a lump the size of a rock appear in my throat.
She then sighed, walking down the steps as she pulled the light jacket tighter around her shoulders.
"Perhaps we shuld talk about this at the pinic table?" She suggested, and I nodded silently as I followed her over to the perfectly polished wood structure of the table, and we both sat down across from each other.
"What happened?" I asked immediatly, my stomach twisting hard, and heart beating irrationally fast in my throat.
I would've said more, but I felt as if that one question alone was enough to sum up the whole fight.
Anne then sighed, it was a long ragged sigh, and she leaned forward on her elbows.
"Harold's father started to drink and do drugs; a little bit after Harold was born. When he got stressed he would kick me, and smack me. Stuff like that. Then around the time I got pregnant with M-Maya, he started to abuse Harry and Gemma. Gemma left when she was eleven, and left Harry alone with the monster when he was seven. So with her being absent, he started taking out his anger more on Harry,and as the years went on it only seemed to get worse. By the time Maya was four he was beating Harry with belts, bashing stuff over his head, all sorts of awful things. By the time he was thirteen he had tried to kill himself twenty times, but Maya stopped most of the attempts because he didn't have the heart to leave her, and I was often ill so I couldn't care for her the way he did. After Maya died he tried almost everyday, but I couldn't bear loosing another child. That's when he went out on the streets, and started selling drugs. Three month's after Maya's death Harry thought he fell in love. Well he caught the guy cheating and he was heartbroken. He did drugs, dyed his hair, piercings, became an addict to the drugs and alcohal. Harry also took many pain killers, he said it eased the ache in his heart. In his heart he was so close to dying. He kept telling me, 'Mummy just let me go, I don't belong here. I want to d-die."
Anne's voice then broke as she wiped at brimming tears in her eyes furiously.
"I still couldn't believe he skipped grades and went to collage early! My baby still would cut, and it hurt to see that but I couldn't take care of him. Gemma then started stealing and sleeping with his boyfriends which made him try to kill himself more then last time. The last time he almost killed himself was right before he moved here to be a teacher at the University. My baby is so broken and I don't know what I would do if he died to."
We were both then perfectly quiet.
My heart was hammering and twisting so hard in my chest I felt as if I was on the verdge of heart failure. Harry had never told me the full story of his past life, beside his dad and Maya.
I was starting to believe there was much much much more to Mr. Styles story then I had assued, and this depression thing was alot more serious, and went alot deeper then I thought.
"I'm so sorry Anne." I sighed, reaching out and rubbing her arm. "If I had known there was so much hot blood between Gemma and Harry I would've just told Harry to get her somewhere else to live." I said honestly, but she brushed me off.
"It's good Gemma is here, you'll be a good example of loyalty to her." She said, sniffling a bit as she dabbed at her eyes with the sleeve of the jacket, and took a shaky breath. Then at that moment I began to wonder, what did she mean by Gemma left?
"How did Gemma manage to leave if she was just a child?" I inquired softly, resting my elbows on the table as I continously swallowed to keep the lump out of my throat.
"Gemma would sneak out, and go hide who know's where. I never knew much, because she didn't tell me much." She said, and I nodded. "Oh." I simply said, keeping any other comments to my head.
If I had been Gemma in that situation, I would've protected Harry and taken the beatings for him. "Yeah." She sighed, then slipped off the bench before standing up, and brushing her backside off.
"Well, I have a job interveiw today so I'm going to get going now." She informed, giving me a weak smile.
"Okay, I wish you luck. Be yourself." I said, smiling encouragingly at her, and she gave me a thumbs up before slipping inside, and shutting the screen door behind her.

Notes