78.
Damn. What a headache. Was this the way it felt like to die? I didn’t know, but I most certainly wasn’t dead. No, I was alive as hell. I could feel every inch of my body, they were all complaining about how I had treated it last Sunday afternoon.
I really wished I was dead. Then I wouldn’t have to wake up. Then I wouldn’t have to go to work for seven hours. Jesus Christ, I hoped I would die halfway through the day then.

I dragged myself out of bed way too late, around 7 o’clock, and ended up scorching my tongue and throat on my piping hot coffee in the kitchen. I hadn’t bothered taking off my makeup from yesterday, so I just decided that it would have to look perfect enough for today since I had no intention of spending time on correcting anything at all.

The apartment was a huge mess; vinyls lying all around the floor, spilled whiskey on the end table right next to three half empty glasses and cigarettes filling the ashtray in the center of it all. I really tried to clean up some of the mess, despite the fact that I was really late for work, but the smell of alcohol immediately made my stomach turn and I ran to the bathroom to throw up the coffee that I’d just drunk.
God, that was awful. But a relief at the same time. I didn’t fucking know what I felt, cause no matter what the constant pain all through my body kept overshadowing everything else, I couldn’t feel a single thing else.

I decided to wear the most comfortable clothes as possible which would consist of my thick and soft sweatshirt that had a black and white picture of the rapper, Asap Rockey on the stomach, my tight black running leggings that weren’t so tight anymore – now I smiled widely at the lovely sight – and Em’s red Nike Air Max. I assumed that she weren’t going to use those today and I had no intention of spending any more time and energy on finding out other than writing her a text message when I was half asleep in the tube a few minutes later.
The harsh English winter cold had hit my pounding head a lot harder than usual, despite the fact that I was looking like a Greenlander with my black and white woolen winter coat, a black beanie, a pair of Aida’s sunglasses and my black scarf tugged up against my cheeks.
Having girls chasing me asking questions and taking pictures had been a part of my daily routine, it didn’t really feel like an actual burden anymore, but being hungover and in a terrible mood they suddenly seemed a thousand times more annoying than usual, it was almost like how I felt about them in the beginning. Or at least the ones that felt the need to tell me that my outfit looked rather horrible today.

If it hadn’t been for a cute text from Niall right before I arrived at Aunt Betty I would definitely have hit one of them, not being able to restraining myself at all.

Morning cutsie pie, hope your day with the girls yesterday was good. Louis is going crazy from not knowing how Eleanor’s dress looks like, him and I are on the way to rehearsals now. Have a good day at work! Miss you way too much… xx Nialler

Oh God, I loved when he called himself Nialler. And when he called me cutsie pie. And when he told me about Louis. And when he told me to have a good day at work. And when he told me he missed me.
I could just imagine how he’d been having a smile at the corner of his mouth when writing this text, it made me so happy that he would ever think about me this early in the morning. Or mainly just think about me at all.

Hello Nialler, I most certainly miss you too! Having the most terrible hangover right now, last night the girls and I went a little crazy on the whiskey. Still doing a gig tonight though, maybe we can see each other tomorrow??? Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I know the xo’s went a little out of hand for me, but I just couldn’t stop them from stumbling out of my fingers as I typed down on my iPhone. He answered just a few seconds later.

Oh, I’m so sorry, but it looks like we will be booked up for the entire week, don’t think I can find the time before the charity event on Saturday L Fuck!

Even though his answer wasn’t what I’d hoped for, I couldn’t blame him for being busy. After all, it might turn out to be nice to spend some time apart when we were both so stressed out as it was, but I still wanted to send him this answer:

I hope you still love your work, cause right now I most certainly don’t. Maybe I’ll do that on Saturday, depends on you guys’ performance…

He immediately answered:

Well okay, then I guess it’s a good thing that we’re rehearsing our asses off. Gonna miss you a bit too much though.

Gosh, what a cutie.

Phone sex then.

I smiled widely and insidiously at my answer, but I didn’t get to see his answer before I was inside Aunt Betty and because I was late as it was, I didn’t want to stand with my phone out when I had work to do.

Bagels. Damn. Not the thing I was grooving on at that point. Everything eatable was not the tiniest bit attractive to me whatsoever, hangovers were the only thing in the world that could make me feel so.
Or maybe this was just a part of my new slim self? What a joke. Even though I fucking sure hoped so.


The day at a busy Aunt Betty turned to be exactly how I expected and had feared. It was a living hell. Everybody was getting on my nerves and for some reason there was a million times more problems to deal with that day with picky costumers, an espresso machine that wouldn’t work and an insanely lack of buns – I really started to hate the normally lovely baker, Nick, for that. Because of Christmas, fuck Christmas, so many people were shopping gifts and they apparently got hungry when doing so. Idiots. Like. Who gets hungry?!
My stomach felt terrible the entire day and I when I could finally close the door behind me to my apartment, I went straight for my room where I collapsed on the bed with a smile on my lips though. Once again I could thank Niall for that, since I kept thinking about the answer that he’d texted me, while I was at work. It had said:

Damn. Can I call you late tonight at midnight or something?

Knowing that I’d texted back “yes” I was really looking forward to hear his voice, I already missed him so much and the thought of being without him all until Saturday was very depressing.
I fell asleep and the next thing I remember is Em waking me up to tell me that dinner was ready. We all ate together a dish of chicken with some steamed broccoli and I ate a big portion, since my long nap had helped my poor body recover from our hardcore whiskey afternoon yesterday.


Our gig was at quite a fancy restaurant actually, I would say. It felt a bit weird to be sitting there playing background music, when we’d gotten all used to the dirty dark bars and more underground-like places and venues, but it was also nice at the same time to be sitting there in your slightly bit more fancy outfit and playing a more quiet and beautiful set of our now many songs.
Even though all I could think about was talking to Niall when we would finally get to go home.

We got home pretty late, since we’d been hired for the entire night at the restaurant, and I only managed to get out of the shower and back in to my room just in time for when I phone started buzzing on the bed.

“Well hello there,” I said in the most sarcastically insidious tone when I picked up and just the sound of Niall’s beautiful laugh through the phone send goose bumps all over my still slightly wet skin.

“Hi love,” he replied still chuckling. I always smiled every time he called me love. “So you did manage to get through the day, I can tell. How was it?”

“So what are you wearing?” I kept on teasing him in the same tone that I’d used before and this time I cracked up along with him.

“Uhm…” he began, “a white t-shirt. And some black jeans. And uhm… a green flannel shirt.”


I could tell that he just said that in the most awkwardly normal way that only made me laugh even harder, even though the picture in my mind of his trained and muscular body wearing that outfit was making me go crazy.

“What are you wearing?” he asked back at me and we were still both chuckling when I answered:

“Nothing.”

“You’re not serious…” he replied and I could tell that he was still smiling widely through the phone.

“Well no, I’m wearing a towel, just got out of the shower the minute you called,” I answered honestly.

“Damn,” he sighed and his voice had now suddenly switched to a deeper one. “Wet skin and all?”

“Wet skin and all,” I repeated still not knowing how to get something like this going. I wasn’t sure of how I even felt about it, I don’t think I’d ever done it before.

“What were you wearing at your gig?” he then asked, his voice still holding that deep tone.

“The black dress that I wore on our date at The Ledbury,” I said glancing over at the black balloon dress from Mark and Spencer hanging on the door to my little closet, I loved that dress so much.

“I liked that one,” he replied and I started to feel the pitching and poking feeling in my lower stomach grow at the sound of his breath. He just sounded so confident and dirty, and not like a fool like me, he’d probably tried this many times before because of his job and all. With other girls. Like Barbara Palvin. Beautiful girls, compared to myself.


Oh God, stop it, Maja! He doesn’t deserve you thinking about any of this. He deserves your full fucking attention! So knock it off.


And I actually managed to. I pushed other beautiful girls like Barbara far away from my mind and concentrated only on the voice coming through the phone.

“Where are you?” he asked.

“Sitting on my bed, you?” I responded.

“Same. Take off your towel.”


Wow, he certainly was commanding. I fucking loved it. He must’ve sensed my kind of insecurity and lack of confidence when it came to something like phone sex.


“Okay,” I whispered already starting to feel my breathing enhance by the second while I did as he told me.

“Have you done that?”

“Yes.”

“Are you completely naked now?”

“Yes I am.”

“Good. Take your right hand. And place it on your neck…”


My neck? Why my neck? Well. Okay then.


“Close your eyes…” His voice was so deep and tender, I could literally feel his breath coming through the phone and hit my ear and send shivers down my entire exposed skin. I closed my eyes.

“And let your fingertips trail across your soft and wet skin…”


It tickled a bit and the whole situation made me smile, but my smile was quickly replaced by a bite on my lower lip when he continued:

“Imagine it’s my fingers. Imagine I’m lying right next to you, resting on my elbow and looking down at your naked body…”


His blue eyes popped in my head, they were meeting mine with both a kind but also hungry sparkle to them.


“I was lying in bed with you, I would… Yes, trail your skin with my fingertips, all the way from your neck and down to your chest between your breasts. That spot between them is so sensitive on you, you love when I touch you there, don’t you?”

“Y-yes…” I breathed deeper at the thought of it while my hand acted like his lightly travelling down my chest.

“I would then have no will power to stop myself from grabbing on to your tits…” His breath was getting faster as well by now. “And massage them, kiss them, lick them, bite down on them, that always makes you crazy.”

“Yes…”

“I would kiss down your stomach slowly. Very slowly. To tease you. Until I reached all the way down to between your thighs…”

“Oh God…” I quietly moaned at the thought of his tongue about to caress me on the most sensitive spot on my entire body. I had let my hand travel with the imagination of his mouth and it was now resting on my lower stomach, I didn’t dare continue before he told me so.

“At first I would just caress you with my hand real slow and softly to make you nice and wet…”


Fuck, he was good at this.


“… while kissing up and down your thighs, your skin is always so soft and smooth, it feels like silk against my lips. All the way up to your ankle and then I would take my time on the way back down and your eyes would stare at me begging me to hurry, you would look so desperate and your beautiful eyes would suddenly be a lot darker than usual…”


My hand was now moving around the way that he used to do it, softly and teasingly and the sound of his voice made the poking feeling in my lower stomach grow minute by minute. I didn’t think it actually mattered what words he said to me, since I just enjoyed every second of hearing him speak to me, but his dirty and also loving speech didn’t only make me horny as hell, but also emotionally hungry for him. I didn’t only miss his touch but also his person, whenever he was near me every bad thing in the world would vanish from my mind, I felt completely anxious without him by my side.

“I would then give in and start licking you…”


Sweet mother of…


“Softly to start with, but then I would set up the pace while fingering you at the same time to make you completely soaking for me…”


Jeez, that boy was sexy.


“This way it only takes me a few minutes to make you cum…”

“I’m going to cum…” I vigorously interrupted him as the tensions were just about to explode inside of me.

“Me too,” he replied. “Shit…”


With one last moan escaping my lips I pushed both myself and him over the edge and the poking feeling became constant for a few seconds, before I was left alone in my room with nothing but a wet hand and a panting heartbeat.



“Man, I wish I didn’t have to work so much all week…” I heard Niall sigh from the other end a few minutes later, I could tell that his breathing was still fast.

“Yeah me too,” I said smiling at the thought of we’d just done. Phone sex.



Niall and I had had phone sex. And I’d loved it.


“I assume you found this hot?” he asked reading my thought.

“I did,” I admitted with the blood rushing towards my head.



“Maja, shut the fuck up!” I suddenly heard Aida shout from the other side of the thin wall between our rooms.

If I had been blushing before then that was nothing compared to what I was now. How embarrassing!
I now knew how she and Harry had felt when I’d walked in on them a while ago. But still I couldn’t help but cracking up at the thought of her rolling eyes and annoyed face expression.

“Sorry!” I shouted back her still laughing hard.


“What is it?” Niall asked, I could tell that he was smiling through the phone.

“I think Aida heard us. Or me, I should say,” I laughed shyly which he joined in on.

“Sorry. Guess I’m a bad influence then,” he said.

“The best bad influence I’ve ever known then,” I gushed back to him which made him continue his gorgeous chuckling.

“Well thank you. So, we should probably go to sleep. I’m sorry that we can’t see each other before Saturday.”

“It’s okay.” I tried to sound as convincing as possible, I honestly didn’t have a serious problem with his busy job other than that I was rather horny and missed him, but it was not something not worth waiting five days for. “Goodnight Niall.”

“Good night love. Have a good day tomorrow!”

“You too!”




It’s amazing how well you sleep right after an orgasm.

Notes