Em got home not long after Harry had left and we had dinner together as we waited for some pictures of Aida and her boyfriend turn up on Twitter. And around half past eight they started to appear on everywhere on the internet.


“Man,” I gushed. “She looks pretty. Guess Harry picked the right clothes.”


Aida looked absolutely amazing as she stood there in front of a restaurant in her black tight top, high waisted denim jeans that were rolled up in the end, pointy red stilettos, a vintage black belt and her long black fluffy vintage coat with her hair slicked back and almost no makeup. But the best accessory of them all was the incredibly cute guy standing right next to her in his black skinny jeans, a white t-shirt, black coat and some brown leather boots holding her hand on every single picture that was taken of them.


“They’re like… trendsetters,” Em mumbled as I nodded agreeing.

“God, people are going to hate her so much,” I blurred out which made her look at me with a frightened face, so I instantly had to elaborate: “I mean, look how much they already hate me. And I don’t look like that.”

It took her a few seconds of thinking about what I said, before she leaned back saying: “You’re right.”



We spent the rest of the evening playing a bit of music and planning some rehearsals, since we had actually gotten a few other gigs during the next couple of weeks around at some different bars and stuff in London. We’d agreed to them all, since we needed to make ourselves a name if we wanted to have any chance living from this kind of work. But as we sat down looking at our schedules they were now heavily filled with endless rehearsing and different set lists, we would have to work really hard, especially when I also had the folk band besides the rest.

“But I guess that’s the way it is to be in this industry,” I said. “I’m actually looking forward!”

“Yeah me too! Just to really get going,” Em smiled.



Aida and Harry hadn’t gotten home when we went to bed around eleven o’clock, but I was woken up at some point during the night by a lot of noises happening in the next room. I didn’t have to think about it for too long to know what was going on.


Damn, that girl really needed to get a matrass that didn’t creak…

Wow. He could really go fast that Harry…

Thank God, they slowed down again…

Oh no. Aida please don’t… Gurl, I know it feels nice, but can you not… say his name…

Well it doesn’t help that you sit on top… Now he’s the one who can’t keep it down…



After twenty long minutes I turned on the lights and stood up from my bed to look around for some ear plugs. Cotton wasn’t enough to keep the noises out, I’d experienced. The only thing useful was a headset and a very loud version of some Raige Against The Machine.

Man, did they owe me for this…




I woke up feeling completely exhausted the next early morning and the fact that it was now still dark when I had to get up, didn’t make it the slightest bit easier for me. I couldn’t help but kick Aida’s door on the way past it and not even some strong morning coffee helped on my grumpiness.


The only thing I looked forward to that day was to see my Niall in the afternoon after work and that also made the day at Aunt Betty go by slower than ever, despite the huge amount of costumers and fans (and haters) coming and going the entire time.



“Hey love,” his voice said as he walked in to the shop around half past two. Behind him came Harry and Louis.

“Hi guys!” I exclaimed. “What are you all doing here?”

“Just checking if you’re doing your job properly,” Louis joked.

“Well there’s only one way to find out, isn’t there?” I asked playing along.

“Guess so. We want three bagels then,” he smiled.


A few minutes later I served them their lunch after having to spend all my leftover strength in my body to get through the mob of girls at their table. This was the first time I had the chance to give my boyfriend a quick peck on the lips before they all started eating.


“So great to see you,” he smiled up at me.

“Keep it down, you two lovebirds,” Harry teased us.

“Oh so we’re the ones who have to keep it down?” I asked him in objection.

“Wow, this is good,” Louis said with his mouth full obviously not noticing anything besides his food.

“It might have been even better, if I’d gotten any sleep last night…” I mumbled.

“What?” he asked me.

“Nothing,” I quickly said before finding my way out between the many people and back to the counter to clean up before I would get off. A few seconds later Harry stood up there as well, he scared the hell out of me just like yesterday, since I hadn’t heard him.


“I’m sorry about last night,” he quickly said quietly but smirking heavily at the same time.

“Yeah, you better be,” I smiled back at him not wanting him to think that I was mad about anything at all.

“I know,” he chuckled. “It was just…”

“Steamy as hell?” I teased him.

He nodded laughing shyly. “Steamy as hell.”

“It’s okay,” I said. “But only here in the beginning. Later I expect you two to stop doing those evil and nasty things to each other, it’s disgusting. Sinfully.”

He kept on laughing all the way back to his seat.


“Is he your boyfriend?” a little girl suddenly asked me. She must’ve been around six or seven years old and her cute face made my heart melt as she stood there holding her mother’s hand waiting for their lunch.

“Elin, ssh. You don’t just ask about that…” he mother started correcting her.

“No it’s okay Mrs. No, He’s just my friend,” I told her kindly as I squatted down in front of her.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” she then asked innocently.

“Yes I do. Can you see that guy over there?” I pointed at Niall at the table.

“Is that your boyfriend?”

“Yes it is.”

“You’re pretty,” she said and turned back towards me.

“Well thank you. So are you!” I said brushing her cheek. “Here are your bagels, enjoy. Have a nice day!”



“You seem all right with kids,” Nathalie said behind me. “Maybe it’s fine to leave my son with you.”

“Of course it is! I love children,” I said. “The hardest thing for you will probably be to enjoy your date and not thinking about your son the entire time.”

“Yeah, it definitely will,” she nodded.



At three o’clock I left the bagel shop with the boys, Louis and Harry were going home to their own place and Niall with me. The boys were finally having some time off after finishing recording and they were all enjoying it to the max.


On the way to their cars both paparazzi’s and girls were mobbing all of us, there were a lot more than I was used to, most of them asking rude questions about Niall, Harry and I. Apparently they all thought that I was the bitch that Sheila claimed and therefor also sleeping with Harry.

Sometimes I even had to compose myself to stop my mouth from smiling at their dumb and stupid minds, but I knew that that would only add fuel to the fire so I ended just biting my lower lip the entire time.


“Well, you handled that a bit better than last time,” Harry nodded approving at me when we’d reached their cars.

I laughed at what he said, since last time I’d been standing still in the middle of a trafficked road and gotten rolled over by a car and then having to stay in the hospital for more than ten days.

Thinking about those days suddenly made me squeal: “Oh my God!”

“What? What is it?” Niall asked me.

“Cara!” I shouted. “We need to visit her. I promised to visit her! Oh that poor girl, she’s all alone in there.” I almost felt like crying about my bad friend behavior, I must’ve really let her down.

“Well. We can go now?” Niall then suggested. Both Harry and Louis nodded agreeing. I thought about for a second and then nodded as well.

“Okay great!” I smiled.



Half an hour later we were walking down the very familiar halls in a huge building in the East End of London. We easily found our way to the one that I’d stayed in and the second we walked through the door I headed straight towards room number twenty six, which I remembered was the one Cara was staying in.

But when we got there we only found an elder man sleeping in her bed instead.


“What…” I mumbled and turned around to go out again. I quickly found a nurse to ask about where my little friend was hiding.

“Excuse me, can you tell me where Cara is?” I asked her.

“No, I’m sorry, I don’t know who that is, miss,” she answered me and went on past me down the hall.

The boys looked at me confused with what was going on and so I started looking around for a familiar face that might be able to help me.
After a few minutes I found a woman in one of the rooms who had meant a great deal to me during my stay here a few weeks ago and that was the nurse, called Lucy.

“Lucy!” I exclaimed happily.

“Maja!” she said hugging me. “Well, you look like you’ve healed nicely.”

“And only God knows where I would’ve been if it hadn’t been for your incredible caring service,” I smirked.

“What are you doing here?” she asked. “Do you have an appointment or something?”

“No, actually I’m here to visit someone with the lads. Do you remember them? Niall, Harry and Louis,” I said pointing at them behind me as they all came forward to shake her hand.

“Nice to see you again, Lucy,” they all said.

“Yes I remember them, you were the ones that sang and played the guitar all the time,” she smiled kindly at them. “So who are you visiting?”

“Uhm… Cara,” I said. “You know… the little girl with… with anorexia.”


Lucy’s suddenly turned paler and paler for each second that went by.

“Yeah… She was your friend, right?” she mumbled.

“Yes. And I promised to visit her. Do you know where she is? Cause I checked in her room and there was only this elder man sleeping in the bed…”

“Cara had to move to a different room.”

“Oh okay, can you tell me where to?”


She told me to go up about another three floors and ask for Dr. Anderson. She didn’t say anything more, but the expression on her face told that it couldn’t be any particularly good.


“Do you think something has happened?” Louis asked concerned, when we stood in the elevator but all the only answer rest of us could give him was to shrug our shoulders.

I almost flew out of the elevator when the door finally opened after what seemed like eternity. This hall looked very different from the one downstairs; there weren’t any people besides doctors and nurses walking around on them and it was very quiet. Disturbing and deafening silence.

There was a counter right at the door and so I quickly asked the nurse behind it:

“Excuse me, can you tell me where I can find Dr. Anderson?”

“What is it about?” she asked not showing much emotion.

“We’re here to visit Cara. A 12 year old girl with… anorexia,” I informed her and it seemed like I always had trouble saying the illness of hers out loud which had started to annoy me quite a bit.

“Yes. He’s right down the hall at room number nine,” she said.

“All right, thank you so much,” I breathed heavily back at her.

“And uhm… would you guys mind give me your autographs? My daughter is a huge fan of yours,” she smiled towards the boys who couldn’t help but chuckle at the change of subject.

“Of course, Mrs.,” they all nodded politely and signed the piece of paper that the nurse had found. “Have a nice day,” they smiled at her as they followed me down the hall.

“Wow, you guys are so nice to your fans,” I gushed. “How do you do it?”

“Well first of all, none of them says anything of the nasty things they do to you girls, which makes it a bit easier to be nice to them as well,” Louis said. “And you just… kind of want to be nice to people that are nice to you, it’s quite simple actually.”

“Yeah. Makes sense,” I said as I kept looking around for room number nine.


I suddenly felt a hand in mine and I looked down to recognize Niall brushing it probably comfort me a bit.

“It’s fine. You’ll see,” he said quietly as he might have noticed the sweat in my palm.

I tried to nod but just ended up doing a vigorous movement with the ponytail that my hair was pulled back in that day.


“Dr. Anderson?” Harry asked once we’d gotten to room number nine that looked like an office and behind a desk a man in a white coat was sitting going through some papers.

“Yes?” he said looking up.

“Hi, we’re friends of Cara and we’re here to visit her. Can you tell us where she is?” Harry asked him.

“Yes. Her parents are visiting now, maybe they would like some privacy,” he said.

“Oh. That’s okay, we can wait,” I said. “What has happened with her?”

Dr. Anderson waited a few seconds before answering: “She had a stroke a few days ago and now she’s in coma. Her condition is still very critical.”


I didn’t say anything, not even a gasp came out of my mouth. I just simply stopped breathing. I felt Niall tugging on to my hand and leading me outside to sit and wait in the hall but it felt like I was unconscious.


“This is not your fault,” Harry said probably knowing what self-destructive thoughts that went through my mind that moment as we sat in silence. “She was very ill before as well.”

“I know but…” I almost whispered, but I couldn’t find a way to finish the sentence. And so I just sat still waiting. And thinking. And waiting some more.


At some point I saw a familiar looking woman coming out of a room very close to us.

“Mrs. Martin,” I instantly said and she turned around. “Hello. Do you remember me?” I stood up and walked towards the incredibly tired and sad looking woman.

“Yes,” she said. “Yeah, you were in the hospital a few weeks ago,” she said as I started to see the recognition sparkle in her eyes. “And you guys played music for her,” she added turning towards the boys, who had all stood up as well.

“So… We’re actually here to visit Cara. The doctor told us what had happened. I’m so sorry,” I said.

“Me too,” she said. “This way.”

It was easy to tell that she was only trying to be brave for us, but having your little child in coma and not know what is happening with her must be the toughest thing you could put a parent through. We all followed her inside the room she’d just come out of and in there her father was sitting at the bed looking just as tired and exhausted as Mrs. Martin.

We greeted him before taking a look at the tiny girl on the bed that was now wrapped up in wires and plastic tubes. I had to really restrain myself in order not to cry. None of us said anything, we just stood there listening to the slow sound of beeps coming from a respiratory standing next to the bed.



I don’t know for how long we actually stood there in silence. I just know that it wasn’t until those beeps suddenly started enhancing their speed rapidly in the matter of a few seconds that we all up at each other for the first time. All with the most frightened looks on our faces.

Notes

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