Is it Fate?

Writing in my journal has been an escape from reality. My recent entry was this:

i feel weak. I can't do too much in a day and it kills me. I just want to love a normal life. One where nobody will judge you and be friends with you because of your sickness. I want someone to love me for me. The doctors told me that I will start losing my long blonde hair soon. I don't want that to happen. I haven't cut my hair in years because I've been working on growing it out. I love my hair. It's what makes me feel somewhat normal. It is the last thing that makes me feel at all attractive.. My skin is becoming more and more pale. I look sick and I feel it. I hate that I'm going through this. Why is this happening to me? Did god really think I need to go through all of this? It's just not fair..

broken down,
meg

i shut hit my journal and wiped away the tears that started falling. My phone started ringing and I saw that it was Alex so I figured I needed to answer.

"Hey meg! Come back to the apartment as soon as you can, dinner is almost ready and I made you a surprise!" She said.
"Okay I'll leave the hospital now." I said.

I grabbed my things and hurried out as fast as I could because I don't want people to see me.
I got home and walked in the kitchen to find Alex icing a red pop cake. That is my favorite and tonight will be my last time in a while that I will be able to eat junk food. I'm trying to eat healthy in order to make myself feel healthy. We will see how that goes.
"Yay you made it! Look I told you I had a surprise waiting for you!" She said extremely happily.
"Thanks Alex. I really appreciate it. I'm going to go put my stuff away then I will be right back." I said.
I walked to my room and slowly started to take my things out of my bag. I couldn't find my journal though. This isn't good. I have everything in there. Things I don't want people seeing..

Notes

It's going to get better I promise! Keep reading!