"One,two" I cut deeper and deeper. I shouldnt do this to myself.
'You deserve this' I kept hearing the same, mean voice in my head, bringing me down into the neverending spiral of sadness.

"Three,four" The mean words kept playing in my head.
SLUT!
UGLY!
WORTHLESS!
Why are they so mean? Im not worthless, Niall loves me, im not ugly, he says im beautiful, and im most defenetly not a slut.
'Dont lie to yourself' shutupshutupshutupshutupshutup!!!

Sitting on the cold bathroom floor, i hold the tissue up to my arm to stop the bleeding- knowing Niall will be home soon.
Trying to keep my sanity, i think of all the good things, before the hate, before i became nothing, before anyone knew about me and Niall.
My thoughts get disturbed when i hear the door slam.
"Honey im home" Shit Niall! He cant see me like this.

I look down onto my wrists, it finally stopped bleeding. I pulled my sleaves down, washed my face, put on my best fake smile, and went downstairs to greet my boyfriend.

As i walk into kitchen, i feel pair of strong wrapping themselfs around my waist. I breath in the husky smell which causes my heart to skip a beat.
"Hello princess" His rough voice, mixed with that adorable Irish accent is enough to set me over the edge. "Hi" I reply as i turned around meeting his warm blue eyes, giving him a sweet peck on the lips.
"You friendzoned me" He laughed while going after my lips.
"Well thats all youre getting" I stopped him and skipped to the dining room table getting lost in my thoughts.

What if he found out i self harm, would he leave me? Why is he with me, i mean he can get any girl in the world yet he wants to be with someone as ugly and worthless as me?
"What are you thinking about?" He wraps his arms around me protectivly once again.
"Im so lucky to have you" I turned up to see him tearing up.
He took my hand and looked deepinto my eyes, "no princess, im the lucky one. Without you, im nothing. Youre my everything" He took out a little blue box out of his pocket.
"Lilly, i promise you one day, i will call you Mrs.Horan, one day we will be waking op because our kids are running around the house making too much noise, we might be too young to marry right now, but, someday, i will call you mine, trully mine" Now i was tearing up.
"I dont know what to say. I love you so much, without you id be broken" He put the ring on my finger.
We locked out finger together and fell asleep on the sofa.

Notes

Lillys promise ring.

What did you think?
How should Niall find out that she self harms?