Lost To You

~ Audrey's POV ~

"What are you saying?" Deborah squeals, clapping her hands in excitement at my decision.

"I think I'm ready...I love him and he loves me." She crushed herself to me in a hug and I rolled my eyes at her over reaction.

"So, like, when?" She pulls away and looks over at Timmy in his crib.

"He's coming over in like, twenty minutes...he's bringing a movie I guess." I shrug and a smirk makes its way to her face.

"Yeah but you won't be watching it." A horrified shriek leaves me and I gape my mouth at her.

"Shut up!" I exclaim and she just snickers, finding her comment hilarious. "But, have you talked to Joseph?" My voice lowered, and she shook her head.

"Ever since he went back to California, I've just...I don't know. I can't trust him." She shrugs and I sigh sadly.

"I'm sorry, Chummy." She cracks a smile at my nickname for her and I copy her actions.

"It's okay, Sugar Butt." I laugh at her nick name for me and she picks Timmy up.

"So, I assume you want me to watch Timmy for you while you get it on with Harry tonight?" I bite lip and nod my head slowly. "Okay, come on, baby." She kisses the top of Timmy's head and gives me a small hug goodbye. I kiss Timmy's cheek and tickle his tummy, causing him to let out a cute little baby giggle.

Deborah leaves and I'm left to get dressed. I change my panties to some that match my pink lace bra and I slip on my black pajama shorts. I pull a red tank top over my bra and quickly brush through my wavy hair.

What if Harry isn't even attracted to me anymore? Maybe he doesn't even want to be with me sexually. I know he used to but he could feel totally different now. He tells me he loves me all the time, but he could just be saying that to make the aching of loneliness go away.

There's a knock at the door and I take my sweet time to walk from the bathroom and out of my room to open it. Harry smiles at me, a movie in his hand and a pack of gummy bears in the other. Grey sweatpants cover his legs and a white t-shirt hides away that glorious body of his. He looks me up and down, his eyes widening slightly.

"Hey." I breath and he blinks before looking to meet my eyes.

"Hey." He grins, stepping in to hug me. I breath him in, not trying to be creepy, and bury my face in his chest as he rests his chin on the top of my head.

"What movie did you bring?" I ask after pulling away from the hug. He follows me into the bedroom and I take the DVD from his hands, looking over the case. Oh my god.

"Rocky Horror." I smile widely, looking up to meet his knowing gaze. He sits on the bed as I slip in the movie and soon join him. I snuggle into him, his warmth spreading throughout my whole being and causing me to smile.

"I thought you might enjoy watching it again, plus we had so much fun the last time we did." He joked, remembering the day he found out I was pregnant.

"God, that seems like years ago." I sigh and press play to the movie.

"I know right."

The movie goes by fairly quick, the credits start to roll just as Harry and I finish the pack of gummy bears.

"That movie never ceases to creep me out." I untangle myself from Harry's hold and he pouts as I walk over and bend forward to turn the DVD player off. When I turn around Harry's literally just staring at my body. He blinks for the longest time before slowly meeting my gaze.

"Come here." He motioned to where he sat on the bed, his back pressed up against the headboard and his legs extended in front of him. I walked over and straddle his lap, Harry's arms wrapping around me and pulling me close.

"You have no idea what you do to me, Audrey." His words were whispered as his mouth pressed to mine. The burn of his touch sent me into a frenzy of different emotions.

God, he was everything to me.

Our tongues met and a moan vibrated up his throat once I began tugging at his curls, kissing him deeper. "Fuck." He breathed and pulled away. Both our chests heaved as Harry's breathed fanned my face.

"I need to ask you something, okay?" One of his hands ran through my hair as the other was placed on my lower back, keeping me close him. I nodded and waited for him to continue. "Have you ever...uhh-"
He struggled with the question, it clearly making him uncomfortable.

"Just say it, Harry." I urged and he scratched the back of his neck before sighing.

"Have you ever been pleasured?" I furrowed my eyebrows at his question. No. To be honest I have never been to third base. Yeah, I've lost my virginity but I have never experienced an orgasm.

"N-no." I whispered, refusing to meet the eyes that are staring right at me. I felt my face go hot and there was no denying the red that was creeping onto my cheeks. He hooked his index finger under my chin and tilted my head up to connect our gazes.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about okay?" He kissed my nose, a small smile on his lips. "Actually, I was hoping that would be your answer." He mumbled and I furrowed my eyebrows at him.

"Why is that?" I whisper and he gives me a weak smile.

"Because I want that person to be me." I smile, my eyes locked with his.

"I want you to be that person, too." His lips are on mine immediately, a soft and sweet kiss quickly turning into a heated make out. His hands were everywhere, in my hair, on my hips, cupping my ass.

He nudged me off of him and rose up on his knees before laying me on my back. He dipped down and buried his face into neck, peppering little kisses along my jaw and down to my collarbone.

"Audrey, God. I want to...I want to so bad." His mouth was at my ear while he ground himself to me. Harry had grown hard and heavy between us, no doubt he really did want to. "But, you're not ready." He said and I let out a pained breath. What?

"What?" I whispered and he inched back a fraction to meet my gaze.

"You just had a baby, Audrey...and things are still stiff for us. We need to be totally and completely comfortable with it when we do, and I know if we have sex right now nothing will get better." I guess this made sense, all this timing is wrong.

"Isn't it painful?" I asked, out of breath and totally dazed.

"Don't worry about me." He shook his head and sat up, running a hand through his hair.

"But, you're all worked up...I'm sorry." I whispered and he smiled.

"Don't be sorry, babe." He kissed my forehead and I sighed in relief, though I was still worried about him. He was fucking straining, a prominent bulge making almost a tent for his sweats.

"Do you...want me to-uhh." I shook my head, scolding myself for being so fucking bold. I had not the slightest clue how to touch him and make him feel good.

"I'm not going to deny that offer because, let's face it, no guy will ever deny that. But, I want you to be comfortable." Well, I have two options here: let him suffer with a fucking rock for a dick until he can calm down, or pleasure him and deal with any embarrassment that will come with it.

"Okay. G-go stand against the wall." He widened his eyes, but did as I had said. Harry pressed his back against the wall and I stood from the bed, my breathing at an inhumanly rate.

My hands were shaking as I went to the elastic of his sweatpants. In one not-so-swift motion I pulled down his boxers and sweatpants. He sprang free. God damn he's big. Intimidating. So fucking intimidating.

He was red, straining, hard. Shit. How in hell do I put it in my mouth? "Uhh." I looked at Harry, he bit his lip.

"Take off your shirt." He said and I nodded, peeling the clothing from my upper body. He stared, mouth open slightly. Without another word I dropped to my knees, face level with his erection. Oh my god. I surrounded his tip with my lips, my tongue swirled.

"Oh my-fuck." Harry grunted, eyes pressing closed and head rolling back. I've read a few books where there was a graphic scene and the girl was giving her boyfriend a blow job. The girl always takes him in completely and uses her hand to work on the rest that she couldn't fit in her mouth.

Let's hope those books are accurate because those are my only source of knowledge at the moment.

Harry thread his hands in my hair as I took him deeper, whole, and I bobbed. I bobbed because what the hell was I supposed to do? I took one of my hands and pumped it around anything I couldn't take into mouth.

He rocked against my mouth, I swallowed around him. Harry cursed and panted above me, a complete mess. My cheeks hollowed out as I gradually bobbed faster. His hands tugged at my hair, a sign that he was at least feeling something out of this mess I'm making.

Everything coming out of his mouth was vulnerable and completely uncontrollable. It was exciting to see him so weak to my touch.

"Babe, I'm not gonna last much longer-" Before he even finished his sentence, he came. Salty, warm liquid poured out of him and I swallowed all of it, not exactly enjoying that part as much as other people seem to.

He pulled me off my knees, hugging me to him as tears slid down my cheeks. He kissed my head, pulling me close as I cried. I don't exactly know why I was crying but I couldn't stop the tears from streaming.

"Why are you sad?" He whispered and I shook my head, trying to pull away but he placed both of his hands on the back of my thighs, hoisting me up. I wrapped my legs around his bare middle as he laid me on the bed.

"What are you doing?" I asked and he walked back over, pulling his black boxers over his naked body and kneeling in front of the bed. He gripped my legs and pulled my crotch right in front of his face.

Holy shit.

"Harry, I-I don't-" he cut me off.

"Audrey. There is no way in hell I'm letting you walk away without me making you feel even half of what I just did." I furrowed my eyebrows. "Why are you crying?" He asked again and I sat up, resting my forehead on his.

"That was the most intimate moment I've ever shared with someone and I screwed it up." I mumbled and he stood up, a shocked expression on his face as he looked at me.

"Why the hell would you think that?" He was almost offended that I would say such a thing.

"Harry, I had no idea what I was doing! I totally fucked it up!" He shook his head, kneeling back down and looking up at me.

"Are you kidding? Love, nothing could compare to the way you just made me feel. It was fucking, ecstasy. Amazing. I'm surprised that you've had no practice." His words sent me forward, my lips connecting with his for the shortest moment.

"Can I repay you now?" He whispered against my mouth and I nodded my head.

He nudged his head back toward the bed and I flattened myself against the mattress. Harry pulls me to the edge of the bed once again and slipped off my sleep shorts.

He kept on my panties for the longest minute, just taking in every inch of my appearance as if it were his last chance.

"Ready?" He asked and I pressed my eyes closed, nodding.

Harry pressed one finger into me, the feeing wasn't like I thought it would be. Actually, it was just uncomfortable.

I crinkled my nose and Harry chuckled. "It's practically your first time, so just stay with me okay?" I nodded, biting down on my lip as he retracted and pushed inside of me again. I felt him do this for moments until he picked up speed. That's when I felt it. That pleasure that coiled, and pulsed, and throbbed as he pumped.

"Harry." It flitted from my mouth as a moan. He pulled out of me for the smallest second before sinking two fingers even deeper inside me. I gasped, my head rolling back as I searched for air.

I tugged at his curls, squeezed my thighs around his head as he rushed to fill me again and again his fingers curling inside me.

Harry's mouth met the sensitive spot where his fingers worked. Tongue swirling, flicking, fucking pushing me over the edge.

I lifted my head and peeked down at Harry who had his face buried between my legs, my fingers tightening in his curls.

He hummed.

He fucking sent vibrations coursing through me and a loud moan left my open mouth. Maybe it was too loud because I could almost feel Harry's smirk against me as his fingers worked, and tongue teased.

"H-Harry....shit." My mouth was dry and my head was dizzy as he worked. My legs started shaking, loud moans still leaving my sticky mouth as I panted.

"I'm-I'm." I didn't need to finish, he knew. I convulsed around him, felt my walls tightening as I yelled out his name and other profanities. Pure bliss slipped into my veins, coursed and pumped throughout my body as my very first orgasm peaked.

I searched for air, gasps and pants working themselves from my lungs as I expelled my high on Harry. He licked me clean and stood from his spot on the floor.

He laid down next to me as I kept my eyes on the ceiling. My breaths were still uneven and my legs finally stopped shaking. I turned to face him, a smile on his lips as I did.

"Oh. My. God." I breathed and Harry pulled me to him, my face nuzzled in his chest. "Was I as loud as I thought I was?" I mumbled and he chuckled.

"You were pretty loud...but that's not a bad thing." He assured and I laughed lightly into his chest. "Are you okay?" His voice bled soft, and I could hear the smile on his face as he spoke.

"I'm fantastic. Thank you...but I'm thirsty." Harry pouted as I unwrapped Harry's arms from around me and slipped on my panties that were stuffed under the bed then walked out of the room. I walked into the kitchen, grabbed a glass from the cabinet and filled it with water.

I felt Harry's bare chest press to my back and needy hands slid over my hips and onto my stomach, pushing me to him.

"Hi." He said and I smiled, taking another sip of water.

"Hi." I responded and turned around in his arms, chest to chest.

"I hate to say this...but I think I need to get back." I frowned, a small pout on my lips as I wrapped my arms around his waist to keep him here.

"No. Please stay?" He smiled and lifted me onto the counter, standing between my legs as be brushed the hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear.

"I promised the boys I would be home by ten tonight. It's ten thirty right now." He said and I huffed.

"Can I bribe you with kisses?" He paused, a grin taking up his face at my suggestion.

"You should try." I leaned up and placed an open mouth kiss to his smiley lips as he laughed. I pulled away and giggled before kissing him again.

"Did it work?" I asked and he bit his lip.

"Well, considering you are only in your underwear and bribing me with kisses just to get me to stay...yes. It worked." I smiled proudly and jumped down from the counter.

"Where's your phone?" I asked and he pointed toward the bedroom with a confused look on his face. I just walked into the bedroom and took his phone off the nightstand.

"What are you doing?" He chuckled and I unlocked his phone, already knowing the password, to call Louis.

"I'm letting the boys know that you're not coming home until tomorrow." I smile and quickly find Louis' contact. I press his phone to my ear has Harry just laughs at me.

"Harry?! Where are you?! You're late and I want my gummy bears back. I know you took them." I bit my lip to hold myself back from letting out a laugh.

"We already ate them, sorry. I didn't know they were yours." I shrug and he goes silent for a few moments.

"Audrey? Where's Harry?" He asks.

"He's right here, but I just wanted to let you know Harry's won't be home tonight." I inform and Louis laughs.

"Oh really? How'd you get him to stay?" He teases and I roll my eyes even though he can't see.

"I bribed him with kisses."

"Oh I see how it is, okay. Well, tell him I'll see him tomorrow." Louis sighs and I agree before hanging up.

"What did he say?" Harry takes his phone from me as I hand it to him and he sets it to the side.

"That he'll see you tomorrow." Harry lays on his back and I crawl over to lay on top of him, a cheeky smile spreads his face and I trace the one of the many tattoos he has scattered along his arms.

"You're so incredibly beautiful." Harry murmurs and I tilt my head up to meet his penetrating gaze.

"So are you, Mr. Styles." I respond and he licks his lips to reduce the chap of them.

"You need chap stick, silly." I say and reach over to my nightstand to grab my coconut lip balm from Alba.

"That's girly lip balm though." He huffs and I roll my eyes at him. I remove the cap and roll up more of the stick before smoothing it over his lips.

Once I'm done he smiles at me, eyes alight with humor and happiness. I pop the cap back on and toss it to the floor effortlessly. "Can I ask you something?" He dropped his voice low, seeming it was a serious topic

"That depends." I said and he lets out a breath.

"Can you describe how your relationship with Zachary worked?" I was silent for the longest moment because I had no idea how to respond.

Notes

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh SNAP CRACKLE POP ZACHARY SECRETS ABOUT TO GET SPILLED :0

i haven't been on 1D fan fic in like 16 years so...whoopsie daisies

THIS IS OFFICIALLY OFF HOLD AND IM SORRY I HAVENT BEEN UPDATING CHERRY GAME AHHHH ILL TRY TO UPDATE TODAY.

ahhhh I'm on my second cup of coffee today and IM BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS. WHOOO!!! anywho there's like only ....one, two, three, four, five...FIVE MORE. CHAPTERS LEFT IN THIS BOOK. hahahahahahahahahahaha then I'll post an epilogue and stuff but yeah.


anywhore....sorry again for not updating :,,,,,,,,,,,(

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