Lost To You

~ Harry's POV ~

Me and the boys walked up the flights of stairs to get to her apartment. It was dark and cold tonight, not like Hawaii should be. No doubt fall was here and things would be different, and I would have to make my way back to England before Thanksgiving that was coming up in only a few weeks.

"Does she know we're here?" Niall asks as we invite ourselves into her apartment. I was instantly flooded by warmth, and the loud cries of Timothy coming from somewhere in the kitchen. We shuffled over and stood next to the closed door of the kitchen, listening in on her.

"But I won't hesitate no more no more, it can not wait, I'm yours." We heard Audrey sing Jason Mraz's song, I smiled, her voice was sweet, it rang through and sent a buzz of comfort to the pit of my stomach. "Open up your mind and see like me, open up your plans and damn your free, look into your and you'll find love love love love. Listen to the music in the moment people dance and sing, we're just one big family and it's our god forsaken right to be loved, loved, loved, loved." By now, Timmy has stopped crying and Audrey just kept humming the words to herself as things clattered around on the other side of the door.

I stepped in, her eyes not even looking over to me as we all entered the kitchen. "How long have you guys been listening in on me?" She asks, her eyes all alight with humor and happiness. Timmy is in his baby carrier on the counter as Audrey cooks something on the stove. She had on these little black leggings that showed every perfect curve of her body. Socks on, she stirred the pot of what I made out to be noodles and chicken.

Swallowing, she straightened, the pieces of hair that had left the up bun at the top of her head swishing around her face. "You have a lovely voice." She dropped her head, turning away from us as red crept up her neck.

"It seems to calm him down, at least. God, do you know how many hours of sleep I'm running on right now?" Her wide-collared gray shirt had slipped off the cap of her delicate shoulder, teasing me with the honey-kissed skin. Her movements were all innocent, and slow, and I had the sudden urge to wrap her in my arms. Claim her. Make her mine.

I shook my head and she removed the spoon from her pot and set it to the side. "You look real tired, Hun." Niall snickers and Audrey glares at him through her thick lashes.

"I got three hours of sleep last night. I mean, Timothy's my life but...he can't sleep through the night. I really should have gone to those classes. Anyway, how are you guys?" She attempts a sleepy smile, brushing the brown locks of hair out of her heart-shaped face. The curve of her lips turning up as she looks at us.

"We're fine, Audrey. We came to see if you needed any help around here." Louis says and Audrey switches the burner off on the stove.

"I'm just going to eat and then give Timmy a bath, then he'll go to sleep and I'll probably take a shower and go to bed also...does anyone want some of this? I can't eat all of this and I have no room in my fridge for anymore leftovers." Niall raises his hand and she smiles, apparently knowing he would eat anything she won't. He stands from his seat and walks over to her, looking over her shoulder and into the pot.

"What is it?" He asks, and she laughs.

"Well, it's chicken all cut up into pieces and put into pasta with butter and garlic." She explains and his eyes glimmer with excitement. He nods and she dishes the food on two plates. We all find seats around the table, me sitting next to Audrey and Audrey puts Timmy in his crib with a baby toy.

"Mmmm." Niall hums in satisfactory as he twirls more pasta on his fork and eats it.

"Is it good?" Zayn asks him and he nods his head rapidly. I look at Audrey and her eyes flutter away from my face as I catch her stare.

"You like to cook?" I ask and she shrugs her shoulders.

"I cooked for myself a lot when I was a kid. My mom couldn't cook for shit and my dad thought it was untraditional for a father to cook the meals. Even though it's not, he's just..." Zayn cuts her off.

"A total dick face?" Audrey nods, eyes trailing back to her plate where she had her untouched food.

"Why aren't you eating?" I ask and she bites her lip, thinking about her answer before she slouches.

"I'm not all that hungry. Does anyone want it?" He pushes it away from her and stands up. Her shirt falls just a little lower and little pink bows peek out the top of her shirt, I swallowed.

Fuck. This girl...

She excused herself, leaving and walking into the bedroom where she barely left the door just cracked open.

"What was that?" Liam asks, eyebrows drawn together and worry lining his voice

"I-I don't know." I say and sigh, standing from my chair and following her. I let myself into her room where she stood, standing in front of her long mirror looking at herself in a form of disgust. I shut the door behind, a clicking sound pulling her eyes away from her reflection and to me.

"What are you thinking right now?" I ask her, she shook her head and turned away from the mirror, walking over to where I am.

"I need to lose this weight." I barely hear her say, and I shake my head no. How could this girl think she needs to lose any weight?

"No. Audrey what weight?" I ask her, my hands flying out in her direction.

"This weight. The baby weight that I gained while I was pregnant with Timothy! You can't tell? My hips are huge, and I have this ugly ass flab shit on my stomach." She pokes her stomach and I grab her wrists, forcing her to look at me. Uneasy, sad eyes meet mine and she lets out a breath.

"Audrey, listen to me alright?" She nods, eyes glossing over because she knew that what I was about to say was right. "You are beautiful, you were beautiful before the baby, you were beautiful while you were pregnant and you are still beautiful now, if not more so. You have grown so much over that last few months and I have never ever seen you so sure of yourself. Don't look in that mirror and tell me that you are anything but beautiful because that would be a lie." I descended on her before I could stop myself, my mouth gentle as I kissed her lips, my hands firm on her lips.

She tasted like heaven.

She always had. My entire body hardened as I pressed myself along the length of her. For a moment, Audrey melted, a supple yielding as her mouth worked on mine in a second's submission, before she froze and spun to untangle herself from my hold.

Lines forged a path of betrayal across her face, and tears gathered in her eyes. "What are you doing?" I stumbled back, my body still reeling from it's sudden mistake to kiss her. But all I could think was I wanted more. Our chests heaving, we just stared, lost in desire and indecision.

"Audrey," I breathed across the space. Her eyes flashed with the sound of her name. I couldn't stop this, whatever insanity she brought over me, I inched back toward her, raised my hand, and caressed my fingers down her cheek.

Her eyes fell closed and her lips parted. My hand slid around to palm her neck, while I wove the other arm around her waist. I tipped her head up at the same time as I pulled her flush against me. The fire I'd kept hidden licked at my insides, seeking a way out.

Audrey gasped and her eyes flew open. The green jade liquefied, her expression so soft and unsure. Shaky hands came up to rest on my chest. She wanted me just as much as I wanted her. I knew it, could feel it as a tremor rolled down her spine and spread out beneath my palms. I didn't know how to handle this, had no idea what I felt other than how fucking amazing she felt wrapped up in my arms.

I searched for hesitation, but all I found was her willing me to do it. To cross the line we'd put in place. I dipped down and pressed my mouth to hers. With just the slightest touch, desire rippled through me, spiked in a place I'd only ever felt with Audrey.

The hands on my chest fisted in my shirt and Audrey lifted up on her toes. My head spun past as I intensified the kiss. My mouth became desperate as I moved against the sweetness of her lips, coaxing, begging.

A tiny moan vibrated up her throat and Audrey surrendered. Her mouth opened, and out tongues met in an eruption of something that had been building up for so long. She thread her fingers through my hair to bring me closer. My fingers spread out, and I held her head in both my hands, her face lifted to me as our mouth stayed connected.

Nothing had ever felt like this, this need that coiled and pooled and piled. I needed her.

I pushed her up against her dresser, my body flat against her as I snaked my hand just under the hem of her shirt. My thumb teased across the bare flesh at her hip, testing how far she wanted this to go. Audrey only nipped at my lower lip and tugged it between her teeth.

"Oh shit, Audrey." Her bare skin scorched me as I glided my palm up her back. I was met with no barriers, her skin smooth as I explored the soft expanse of her back. I noticed her slight flinch at my exploration and furrowed my eyebrows at her action.

"Harry," she whispered, clutching me just as tightly as I cliched her, her fingers digging, her body imploring. "Harry, I need you." Oh my god. I knew I was a fool, so stupid to push her. I couldn't stand the thought of losing her, but I couldn't stand the thought of not having her, either.

I slid my palm around her slim waist, a tiny shudder escaping her and she flexed her stomach as she sucked in a shocked breath. My hand jerked as I inched it up. The hand in her hair tightened as the force of my kiss bowed her back. Her weight rested on my forearm as I supported her head, my body nearly hovering over hers.

My hand skimmed over her plump, round breast, my thumb flicking across her nipple. Audrey whimpered and pushed herself further into my hand, emitted this sound that tickled my ears and spurred me forward. Ground myself to her, it evoked the most seductive sound to roll from her tongue.

I buried my face in her neck, kissed her down to her collar bone, then up to the hollow behind her ear. Her skin was so sweet and her pants were so thin, and I was consumed by this feeling, too much. A haze surrounded us, desire and lust. My mouth was at her ear as I bit at her skin, whispered, "Please, Audrey, let me take you out...we need to try and fix us."

I brought my face close to hers, my eyes searching hers for any hesitation or denial. She just smiled, and dropped her hands to entwine them with my own.

"I agree." Her phone buzzed and I reached over to grab it off the dresser for her, she took and and furrows her eyebrows at the caller before pressing it to her ear.

"Hello?" Her body stiffened, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip as she look at our hands connected on her lap.

"No. I thought I told you already. You need to stop calling me, Zachary I'm serious." I widened my eyes and she gripped her phone tighter as he responded to her. Lines of hurt and disgust twisted her face, silent tears streamed down her cheeks, and she blinked for the longest moment before stunned eyes turned up to stare at me.

"You aren't." She croaked, and slowly pulled the phone away from her ear, and set it down with shaky hands.

"What? What did he say?" She wriggled away from me and walked out of her bedroom, me following closely behind as she walked into the kitchen.

There he stood, arguing with Liam about something and Audrey put her hand over her mouth in shock at his unending presence in her life.

"Audrey, you need to listen to me." He said sharply and she shook her head.

"I don't want to hear what you have say!" She almost screamed at him, eyes flashing with anger and agony.

Timmy wailed, and Audrey let out a pained breath as she walked over to where he was in his crib. Zachary froze as Niall walked over and took Timmy out of his crib and into the other room, Zayn, Liam, and Louis following. I stayed, not wanted him to lay one nasty finger on her.

"You let them see my child, but I can't?! That's cold. Fucking cold!" He snapped at her. A wounded cry worked it's way from Audrey and she squeezed her eyes shut and turned her face down and to the side, hugging herself tighter.

"Harry, go to the other room. Please." She breathed, I stepped in front of her and brushed brown locks out of her face as she looked at me with pleading eyes.

"I don't trust him." I said and she nodded.

"Me neither, but I need to talk to him...that won't be happening of you're here." I hesitantly nodded and made my way to the family room where the boys sat with Timmy.

"We're lucky that he didn't show up while she was alone." Louis breathes and I nod as I take seat next to him.

~ Audrey's POV ~

I mashed my eyes closed, praying that he would just leave. I can't do this with him. Not again. It's been like this for weeks. That same routine over and over again like he had a choice in taking part in Timmy's life.

"Listen, bitch, I'm not afraid to take this to court." With one hand, I clutched my stomach that twisted in knots, the other pressed over my mouth the cover the cry rattling around in my throat.

"You wouldn't. You can't because you left us! You have zero right into his life!" I trembled with rage, my lip shaking just as bad as my knees.

"PI will get the rights to see him! I have been here every week begging you to let me see him, just see him and you refuse!" Now he was close to me, his hands forcefully grabbing my wrists and pinning me to the wall behind me. My back hit the wall with force and a loud thud sounded throughout the room. I whimpered as he let me go and took a step back.

"I hate you...God, I hate you. You ruined my life, Audrey. The only time I ever liked being with you was when I fucked you. But you weren't as close to as good as the other bitches I did behind your back." He seethed and I pressed my back deeper into the wall, wishing it would swallow me up.

"If you hate me then why are you here?" I whispered the words, not wanting to speak any louder.
"Because I want Timmy. You are a shit mother and he needs a man in his life. I'm the father." I pulled my sleeves over my hands and let out a trembling breath as I look back up at him.

"Leave. I don't know how many times I'm going to tell you no. You can't see him, you're a dick and you need to leave." My tone was neutral and he stepped forward. Zachary reached up and took down the picture frame that held the image of me and Harry at that one taco place near their condo. He took out the picture and ripped it right in front of my face.

"Fucker!" I screamed and pushed his chest with both of my hands. The picture of me and Harry fell to the floor and he was quick to take the frame and strike me with it. Glass shattered, falling to the ground in pieces around me as I cried out in pain. My knees hit the ground and I held my head in my hands to stop the bleeding in my cheek and temple.

"Audrey!" Louis panicked and rushed to me, hugging me to him as the others yelled and cursed at Zachary to leave. The door slammed closed and I sucked in a sharp breath as my head began to pound.

"He will take it to court, Louis. He'll do it." I cried and he shook his head, hugging me even tighter.

"No he won't. You're okay, Audrey." He promises and I shake my head just as he did seconds ago.

"What did I do wrong? Why is he doing this?" I ask and he rubs soothing circles on my back to calm my stuttering pulse.

"Shhh...let's go clean you up." Louis says and I jerk away from him.

"Wait." I panicked and look at the picture that Zachary had ripped right in front of me. More tears streak my cheeks and I pick up the two pieces of paper. "No. No. No." I whisper, ignoring the glass digging into my hands and knees as I frantically pick up the frame.

"Audrey. Audrey, it's just a picture." Harry tries to convince but I just rapidly shake my head in denial.

"It's our first picture ever together and he ruined it..." A sob tears up my throat and I Harry helps me off the ground, one hand holding my waist and the other on my forearm as I stand to level my gaze with his.

"Come on, we're staying here tonight. Let's clean you up...because you have glass in your hair." He says and I smile briefly at his attempt to lighten the mood.

"Timmy needs to be put down. Let me do that first." I say and Niall shakes his head, hugging my child closer to him.

"No. I'll do it. You go take care of yourself because, Hun...you just got hit in the head with a picture frame." He says and gives me a sad smile. I nod and mutter my thanks before Harry takes me into the bathroom.
"Sit here." He directs and I let myself up on the counter of the bathroom. It's quiet besides that water running and my continuing cries as he wets a washcloth.

"Are you alright?" He whispers and I nod, closing my eyes and letting out a breath.

"He's around too much, Harry." I whimper and he drops the cloth into the sink, soon wrapping his arms around me.

"What do you mean?" I cuddle into him, my body shivering as he hugs me tighter to his chest.
"He stops by way too much and-and..." I fail with words, so I nudge away from him to lift up my shirt. I pressed my eyes closed as tears slipped down my cheeks.

"Two weeks ago...Zachary stopped by and he was-umm drunk. He demanded to see Timmy but I refused so he picked up...the metal flashlight that sits in the closet. God, I didn't know what to do. Harry, he beat me until I couldn't stand up. Once he left I-I blocked his number but he still found a way to contact me-" Harry wipes my tears and his eyes scan the black and blue marks that cover my skin, sucking in a sharp breath he slowly meets my gaze.

"Why didn't you tell us?" He asks and I drop my shirt, shaking my head in a form of wonder.

"How could I? Everything was so perfect for all of us...I didn't want to bring you guys into it. Just like tonight, that's why I made you leave the room." My voice cracks, more tears trailing down my clammy cheeks.

"You need to tell us these things...you were abused by this guy...more than once. You were hit by a man who was under the influence. We care about you and we are in this with you, because I love you...and the boys love you. But their love is like a brotherly love." He says and I let out the smallest laugh.

"I'm so lucky you guys were here." I mumble and he runs his finger over the cut on my cheek, wiping the tears and blood gathered there.

"Yeah, well I'm not leaving you alone here again." He warns and kissed my forehead.

"I'm a big girl, Harry." He rolls eyes and grabs the wash cloth once again to help clean me off.

Notes

This story is still mostly on hold, but I found time to update it...I may be doing the same to the others soon.

Well, ily.

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