Lost To You

~ Harry's POV ~

Audrey kissed my cheek before dissapearing down the hall. I plopped on the couch with my back hitting the plush material as Niall and Louis looked at me with eyebrows raised.

"You're not going with her?" Louis teased, clearly referring to the intimacy we weren't sharing.

"She's changing...we aren't uhh...ya know." I rubbed my hands together as Liam entered the room.

"Well, duhh. She's pregnant for god sakes!" Liam interjected and I sighed.

"I know! It never even bugged me until today! The doctor told the two of us that it was okay for sex at this stage in her pregnancy and she looked almost guilty about it! Like she felt bad about us not being able to get to that stage yet." I explained to the three boys in my presence and Louis sighed.

"Did you say something to her?" Niall questioned and I nodded.

"Yes! I told her it didn't matter to me...and I told her that we will have sex only when she's ready." I assured and Liam scoffed.

"What did she say?" He pestered on

"That she loved me...and I told her I loved her back." I smiled lightly at those exchange of words in the check up room.

"Then what's the problem?" Louis asked me.

"She's a fucking goddess!" I exclaimed and they all chuckled.

"She is pretty hot." Niall muttered, and Louis' hand came up to smack the back of his head as an angry gesture. I ignored his unimportant comment and rubbed the palm of my hands over my face stressfully.

"She's so unbelievingly breathtaking....and she has no idea the effect she has on me when she does those little things. Those things I shouldn't be able to notice, but I do anyway." I said and Zayn joined our talk as he took a seat next to Louis on the couch across from me.

"Like what?" Liam asked, wanting me to explain further.

"The way she bites down on her bottom lip when she's nervous, or the pink blush that splashes her face when she's embarrassed or flattered, the way she giggles when I kiss her playfully, the way her nose crinkles up when she's disturbed or grossed out by something, the way she picks her nail polish when she's trying to hold back her annoyance, the way she draws patterns over her small baby bump when she's bored, the way her lips curve into a pout when she's sad, the way her eyes glisten when she speaks of her baby, they way she plays with the ends of her hair when she's nervous, the way she looks at me when I do something that sweeps her off her feet, the way she says 'I love you', the way she smiles when I say it back, the way her eyes smile when she laughs really hard at something, the way she holds my hand, the way her touch tingles my skin, the way her smile makes my heart skip a beat, the way she can make me feel better in a matter of two seconds, the way she makes my body weak with her lips, the wa-" Zayn cut me off.

"I have never seen someone so in love with another person, as much as you are with Audrey." He said, as the boys stared at me in shock.

"Dude....I think you just grew a vagina." Niall said, and I rolled my eyes.

"I have a serious soft spot when it comes to Audrey! I love her, okay?! Don't give me shit about it!" I defended, and Louis smiled.

"Yeah, Niall! Don't give him shit about it!" Liam yelled, and I sighed.

"Don't stress about it. When she's ready you'll be the first to know about it." Louis assured, and I sighed.

"She has nooooo idea how much she turns me on. That baby bump is incredibly sexy." I stated and Zayn chuckled.

"When girls are in a state of power, and womanhood they can be...very attractive." Liam said and we all nodded in agreement.

"What do you think it would be like?...Sleeping with her?" Niall asked and I shrugged.

"Zachary said she was a screamer." I remember his suggestive comment at the hotel.

"Holy shit. That's hot." Louis mumbled and I nodded.

"She would be a very loud one." Zayn snickered and I rolled my eyes.

"God, that would be amazing." I said.

"What the hell?!" Audrey snapped, having heard our conversation. I stayed silent while I mentally regretted all of the words the boys and I had just shared.

"How long were you standing there?" Liam asked, and she looked at him with hurt and fury evident in her expression.

"Long enough. Harry, you said it didn't matter to you! You said that I shouldn't stress out because you would wait until I was ready! How is this little conversation of yours supposed to ease the guilt, and worry I have been feeling?! Because believe me, I have been so caught up in what the doctor said because you deserve someone who can do the things that please you! I'm sorry being pregnant puts a whole different mood on how our relationship works, but you don't need to discuss my private things with your friends." Her chest heaved up and down from her yelling, and anger towards me.

"It'a not like that!" I attempted but she was quick to snap back.

"Then what is it like?! What were you all just discussing?" Hot tears spilled over her cheeks as we all sat frozen.

"Guy talk." Zayn said, and she rolled her eyes.

"About sex with me?" Her voice cracked as hurt laced through her weak words.

"Audrey-" She cut me off.

"I wasn't screaming for what you all thifnk I was. It wasn't pleasurable, it wasn't special, it wasn't romantic at all. It was painful, and rough, and he didn't care about what I was feeling. Hell, he was drunk off his ass and didn't bother with a condom. He remembers me screaming his name in pleasure, while I was actually screaming at him to stop." Anger coursed through me as I clenched my fists.

"Audrey...what do you mean?" Liam whispered, and she looked to the ground.

"Now, you're the first to know. Not even Deborah and Jospeh know this. The worst part is...I didn't even get mad at him. He had me under this influence and I could never get mad at him...because in the end he would fix everything with a kiss on the cheek and him telling me how much he loved me." I squeezed my eyes shut and placed my head in my hands.

"He did that to you, and he's still breathing?!" I snapped, and she hardened her expression.

"Stay the fuck away from him! Got it?! I don't want any of you to mention this to him!" Her anger returned and I shook my head.

"No way! No way he gets to hurt you and get away with it!" She looked at me with this deathly glare.

"He already did! He doesn't matter to me anymore! I hate him, and there's nothing he can do to reverse that! I don't want any of you involved!" Angry tears slid down her cheeks.

"Audrey, calm down." Louis stood from his seat and she looked at him.

"Calm down? Oh, I'll calm down." She snapped at him before grabbing her jacket and leaving the condo with a big slam.

"Zachary's more of an asshole than I thought!" I exclaimed and tugged at my curls.

"Dude, she's pissed off." Zayn said, and I looked at him.

"No shit! We were talking about her in a sexual way! No girl ever wants to hear that! She's my fucking girlfriend and I just broke her heart!" Angry tears stung my eyes as I stood from my seat on the couch.

"Where is she going?" Liam asked and I slammed my hand down on the wall. Fuck.

~ Audrey's POV ~

I knocked on the hotel door, the one I was pushed out of by Zachary and Joseph. Deborah has been here taking care of him and I need to talk to her. The locks were set free as the door swung open.

"Audrey? What the fuck happened?" He asked, referring to my tear stained face.

"Where's Deborah?" I snapped, and he let me into the suite my "parents" paid for.

"Audrey?!" Deborah exclaimed while running up and capturing me in hug.

"What's wrong?!" She said, worry written all over her features.

"Can we talk in there?" I whispered and she tugged me along into the room where Joseph lay on the bed.

"Audrey! What's wrong?" He asked and I sat on the chair next to his bed while Deborah took up the space next to Joseph.

"The doctor said it's okay for me to have sex." I started and they both nodded. "Harry said it didn't matter to him, and that we will have sex when I'm ready...but I walked on on him and the guys talking about how I would be in bed." Deborah's mouth dropped open as Joseph tensed.

"What a prick!" Deborah snapped and I held my hand up for mer to stop so I could continue.

"I was already so guilty that I wasn't comfortable with it, and I thought he meant it when he would wait....I just don't want him discussing me in such a rude matter." I confessed and the couple stared at me in shock.

"What exactly did they say?" Jospeh asked through the clench of his teeth.

"That I was a screamer, because Zachary had mentioned it one time..." I closed my eyes as the memory of that night flooded my mind. Should I tell them? They deserve to know.

"Guys...I need to say something." I wiped my tears as they looked at me. "I lied to you about Zachary and I's first time." I let out a deep breath as the two stared at me in confusion.

"What?" Joseph questioned and I sighed.

"It wasn't romantic, or special....he was drunk and he had forced himself onto me." I whispered and Deborah stood from the bed, leaving the bedroom. I stayed silent as I heard yelling.

"Get the fuck out! Don't you ever come near us again!" Deborah yelled at him, and I heard a loud slam indicating someone had left.

"You stayed with him?" Joseph asked in a hushed tone, tyring to comprehend what I was telling him.

"Yeah..." I had no explanation for why I had stayed with him. He never deserved a second glance from me after what he did but I didn't care. I don't know why.

"I'm so sorry, Auds." Deborah said as she re-entered the room.

"I'm sorry too, for lying." I felt more tears sting my eyes but I kept them at bay.

"Don't be." Jospeh assured and I have them both small smiles.

"I think I'm going to stay here...is that okay?" I asked and they both happily nodded.

Notes

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