Lexington’s POV:

I woke up with a sharp pain in my neck. Great, I got a kink in my neck from my sleeping position. I found myself laying across Harry, head on the floor. How? I’m guessing it’s because Louis was now pressed against Harry with my feet hanging by his side. Well this is…I would say awkward but this is hilarious, despite my neck ache. I don’t understand how I appeared to be in this position when it’s still dark outside, meaning I’ve only been out for a couple of hours. Yeah, I waited until everyone was asleep so I could catch a break.

I sat up so my butt was now in between both the boys and I scanned the rest of them. All of them were sleeping like babies. I spotted the cutest, yet funniest thing: Niall snuggled into Ryann’s side with her arms wrapped around him. She’s definitely the male in their relationship, but it’s still adorable.

I carefully removed myself from the fort and snuck away to my bedroom. I removed my phone and headphones from my suitcase and locked myself into the bathroom. I just need to think. I plugged the earphones into my phone, placed the speakers in my ears, and shuffled the music, hoping a great thinking song would come on. With the luck I have, a depressing song about heartbreak came on. Even though my heart isn’t broken, this song still seemed to make me feel sad.

I started remembering my past relationships. There was Michael, who I dated for a good six months during freshman year. During the last week of our relationship, I noticed him drifting away. He stopped holding my hand, stopped sending me ‘goodnight’ messages, stopped coming over…yada yada yada. Come to find out, he cheated on me. Guess who with? None other than Holly Stephenson. Yes, this is why I despise her. I don’t understand why she’s always been out to get me, but it hurts me. She always finds ways to bring me down or ruin my day and it just sucks.

I guess it’s okay in the end that Michael slept with her. I’d rather not be with someone who doesn’t find me ‘interesting’ enough. He told me I was boring, now I have it stuck in my brain that boring is exactly what I am. Soon, boring is what I became. I’d always stay home watching Netflix, like I keep saying, and playing with my sister rather than going to a party or hanging out with friends. If anyone wanted to hang out with me, they’d have to come over to chill or drag me off the couch. I just wanted to stay in my little rock where I wouldn’t get hurt.

Towards the end of sophomore year, I gave it another try with a guy named Kyle. Kyle is a super attractive football player who I fell hard and quick for. I dove in so deep and so fast that I couldn’t even pull myself out. I don’t know what I even saw in him. We dated for a month. Not once did he hold my hand, wrap his arms around me, or call me beautiful. Our kisses were like stupid family pecks on the lips. I could see what he was doing, and I knew he didn’t feel the same, yet I denied it and lied to myself. ‘He’ll change’ was all I’d tell myself.

I gave him my virginity. I gave him everything. I gave him me and he ruined me. He told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship, which doesn’t make any sense since he asked me out. I found out from someone else that he never liked me in the first place, that he just felt sorry for me. That made sense and it shattered my heart to a million pieces. So my response was to hide back into my little hole in front of the tv.

So now there’s Harry. He treats me with more respect than I’ve ever been given from a guy. But so does Graham. Both of them are proof that there are decent guys out there. But then again, Graham dated a chick named Natalie. Natalie was probably the greatest girl he ever dated. She did everything he asked her to do and paid for anything he didn’t have money for. Sweetest girl ever. Then one day Graham decided he couldn’t deal with her ‘obsessiveness’ and dumped her over text. She wasn’t even obsessed with him, she just was a nice girl with feelings. Poor Natalie.

And Harry, he tore Taylor apart. He cheated on her with that bitch Kendall. How do I know he won’t just be another person to lift me up only to throw me into the ground? How do I know he’s good for me? I just can’t take another heartbreak. Love is my dream. I want to find love and have a family. Michael and Kyle spoiled that dream for me at the time. When I met Harry, I started digging myself out of that hole and decided to give it another shot. These risks scare me though. I just want to be whole. Let me be whole.

I felt a tear escape from one of my watery eyes. Soon, sobs escaped my lips. I buried my head into my knees and let myself freely cry. I’m so scared. I don’t want to be lonely.

Before I knew it, two hands held my head up. Harry. He removed my headphones from my ears and slid my phone away from us. Then, he joined me on the floor, wrapped his arms around me, and pulled me into his chest. He stayed silent and just let me cry.

Why am I letting the past bother me so much? Those boys are not Harry and I am not Taylor. This is a new relationship, a new story, and a new beginning. I should only focus on exploring this and seeing where it goes. Who knows? Maybe he’s exactly what I need.

Soon, my cries stopped but we continued sitting in silence. I had my back leaned onto his chest as I played with the fingers on one of his hands. His other arm stayed wrapped around me, holding me close enough that I rock with his chest.

“I met Kendall,” I stared blankly at our hands. I felt him tense up under me, but he remained quiet. “She’s kind of a bitch.”

“What happened?” he rested his chin on my head.

I intertwined our fingers and continued my stare at them, “She seems to think she stands a chance with you.”

“Did she…?”

I sigh, “No, she’s not the reason I’m crying.” I kind of don’t want to even tell him the real reason, but I know that if I don’t talk about it, my walls will only begin to slowly build back up. “Harry, am I boring?” my voice cracked.

“Baby…” he paused and tilted my chin so I was looking into his eyes. “You are far from boring. I mean, we built a fort which might I remind you, was your idea.”

Tears fell from my eyes, soon brushed away by Harry’s thumb. “Would you ever cheat on me?”

He looked a little hurt by the question, but finally shook his head, “Of course not. Where’s all of this coming from?”

“I know you’ve done nothing,” a lump formed in my throat. “I’ve…” I felt him start rubbing circles on my thigh. “I’ve been so used. I just don’t want this to be another sob story for me to tell.”

He brushed loose hairs from my face, “What we have is real. Whatever those dicks did to you in the past, I’d never do to you. I like you a lot and I never have any intentions of breaking this off. You are beautiful, funny, charming, and so kind and at the moment, you’re all I see myself with. So don’t you dare feel insecure about us,” he smiled. “You and I are going to be just fine.”

“Thank you,” I nodded. Those words are what I needed to hear. Harry flashed me his dimples before licking the salty tears off my face. I giggled and playfully swatted his cheek. He couldn’t just kiss the tears away? He pulled me back into his chest and began rocking us back and forth, humming and leaving kisses on my head every now and then.

First of all, I never expected him to say such things. This is a side of Harry that only seems to come out when I’m sad. Like, I’ve noticed he only calls me ‘Baby’ when I’m upset. But for some strange reason, I’m okay with this side only appearing here and there. Sure I want affection, but I still want that goofy Harry that licks my face. That sounded strange, but it’s true. This is what I want, this right here.

---

Harry’s POV:

We spent the next hour sitting on the floor of the bathroom just talking about past relationships. She told me about her two exes and everything they did to her. All the things she said about herself make sense now. These boys tainted her mind into thinking she’s something she’s not, but she’s not the only one with horrible dating experiences.

I told Lex about my break ups. I’m not the heartbreaker everyone claims to think I am; half the time, I’m the one being crushed. I mentioned my first girlfriend and how I thought she was this incredible person. Out of nowhere, she blindsided me and told me I didn’t mean anything to her. To this day I don’t understand what happened. Maybe it was all fake and I was just arm candy. I also told Lex about this girl I used to follow around in grade seven at Toot Hill. Of course, being the dork Lex is, she thought the school name was hilarious.

I didn’t even mention Kendall to her; she’s not exactly a topic I’m fond of. Kendall is hot, I can’t deny that, but she’s fucking crazy. She’s desperate to be in a relationship and for some reason, I’m one of the few guys she feels like she needs to end up with. She’s everywhere too. She’s like a virus that won’t go away. Then, she spreads these rumors that we’re dating and posts pictures of when we first started hanging out.

Kendall didn’t used to be like this. She used to be shy, independent and super polite. We used to hang out all the time and she was pretty much my best bud. She was the one girl I could tell everything to or sleep with and nothing would be awkward afterwards. She was so…chill. I don’t know what made her change, but the transformation made her terrible. I can’t stand her anymore, and I don’t want to be around her. Yeah, I cheated on Taylor with her. I was scared and in an idiotic stage, and Kendall just so happened to be there. Boy did I regret what I did. Not only did I initiate Kendall’s feelings for me again, but I also crushed Taylor’s heart. I still hate myself for it. I shouldn’t have ever done such a stupid thing.

After a while, we got tired of stories and began thumb wars. “One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war,” Lex chanted as her thumb danced back and forth.

“I have a question,” I grunted as I tried to attack her thumb with my own.

She dodged the attack, “Shoot.”

“When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?”

She giggled, “Well certainly not ‘cheese’.”

My thumb just barely brushes her’s, “Never.”

“They probably would say, ‘Spoiled Milk!’”

I chuckled, “Clever. How about this one: Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?”

“Hm, that’s a toughie,” she placed her other hand on her chin. “I’d say yes but technically they’re still eating animals.”

“That’s what I’m saying!” I like that I could give her a ‘Would You Rather?’ question or just dumb questions like this, and she just simply answers it. Taylor would always be like, ‘Does it matter? I’d never do that.’ or ‘Harry, you’re stupid.' It’s nice being a kid with someone and sharing common interests.

“Gotcha!” Lexington pinned down my thumb while I was deep in my thoughts. Then she began dancing her arms around, “I’m the winner!”

I shook my head, “I totally let you win.”

She tapped her finger on my forehead, “Nah, you were just lost in there. Whatcha thinking about?”

“How lucky I am,” I slid her closer to me and a beautiful pearly white smile appeared on her face. I brushed my thumb against her lips, making her face change to concentration as she fixated her eyes onto mine. I leaned in and planted a wet kiss onto her perfect lips. This is a girl I never want to break, I won’t be just another guy in her past. She’s all mine.

Notes

So sorry this is short, I just wanted to post this to reveal why Lexington is so insecure about herself in relationships. I'm posting a better and longer chapter later today, I promise.

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