It's been weeks since I last saw Harry, and days since Tommy has passed away. I've been miserable, crying myself to sleep every night. I'd wake up to nothing but a mess of dry tears all over my face. Then I'd proceed the day with no emotions whatsoever, not able to speak or even smile a real smile.

Poor Gail keeps asking if we can go see Tommy, which we'll be doing today. We're going to his funeral. Gail doesn't understand what's going on but my parents tell her that Tommy is now up in the clouds with the angels. Of course, being a kid, she wants to go up there too. Maybe in a few months she'll understand better.

Choosing my dress for the funeral was hard, I couldn't even look at dresses. Thank God my mom has good taste since I let her pick one out for me. The dress is obviously all black since it's for a funeral. It has sleeves that stop just before my elbow. The top of the dress, including my sleeves, tightly outline my body. The rest of the dress flows loosely down. I have a pair of see through, black, floral tights that I decided to wear with the dress, covered at the feet by my black heels. My mom curled my hair for me considering my silence wouldn't allow me to object. She pulled my bangs back and held them in place with a big black bow.

Now here I am, blankly looking at myself in the mirror. I really didn't want to go to the funeral. If I hear another person say, 'I'm sorry for your loss,' I just may explode.

As for Harry. I saw on the news that he and the band flew back to London five days after our fight. In a way, I regret yelling at him. But he did have bad timing with the donation. I needed him, and instead he was broadcasting himself doing something good. I'm glad he donated that money though, I don't want other families being put in the same position. Harry did a good thing, but I wish it was more about the kids than about him. More than anything, I need him here to hold me. But you screwed that one up Lexington, way to go. I'm surprised my dad hasn't said, 'I told you so' yet. But then again, that'd just be bad timing too.

Two arms wrapped around me, "Hey Babe." I glanced at Ryann in the mirror. I gave her a slight smile but quickly changed back to my neutral expression. "Carly and Graham are going to meet us there."

Oh did I mention Graham has talked to me now? He must feel really sorry for me since he met Thomas twice. He barely speaks to me, but I guess it's hard to speak to a voiceless person. He even apologized for avoiding and ignoring me, but he never explained why he did what he did. I honestly don't even care anymore, I'm just glad to have my friends there for me.

"It's time to go," my dad knocked on the door.

"Coming," Ryann told my dad. "Let's go Lexington." She held my hand in her's and guided me downstairs and to the car. I'm glad she's being so patient with me, especially since she's the least patient person in the world.

---

At the funeral, we were allowed to place things in Thomas's grave. My aunt put a picture of a mountain in his hands, her husband put in Tommy's favorite Hot Wheel car, and lastly, Thomas's sister gave him a flower. You're probably wondering, where were they when Tommy was sick? They came as soon as they found out Tommy was worse. Thomas's sister, Katelyn, had school so she and my uncle stayed home for that. My uncle also works with a moving company, so he had to work a lot.

My aunt had a beautiful speech about Thomas. He changed her life for the better. Her six year old boy had told her she needs to get a job or to get out of the house more. She told us about how he was sad to see her laying in his room all the time. He told her to take his hike for him, and that's what she plans to do. I just might take that climb with her.

---

After the funeral was the burial. This was the part I was dreading the most. The last thing I want to see is my cousin lowered into the ground. But here we are, surrounding his grave.

I'm guess when you bury someone, you have to grab a handful of dirt from the pile that they'll place over the grave, and sprinkle it over their grave. My aunt sobbed as she slowly dropped the dirt on Thomas's grave.

I felt a tear escape from my eyes. I haven't cried in front of anyone since he passed away. I was surprised by my own tear and quickly wiped it away.

"You okay?" Graham rubbed my arm. Please don't ask that, it's a stupid question. Of course I'm not okay, my cousin is being buried. I just nodded at him. I don't need him feeling sorry for me.

I observed as ten year old Katelyn placed dirt onto Tommy's grave. Next thing you know, she breaks down crying and grips my uncle tightly.

I can't do this anymore. I can't watch this. I can't be here.

I turned around to walk away but stopped dead in my tracks. I couldn't believe my eyes. In the distance stood a guy with an Afro. He wore a black blazer, black shirt, black dress pants, and black dress shoes. He stood in a familiar pose, holding his arms behind his back.

I started walking towards this man. Before I knew it, I found myself walking faster and faster. As I got closer and closer, he became more recognizable. It was Harry. As soon as I knew it was him for sure, my pace became a run.

He opened his arms, welcoming me into them, but I didn't even make it to him. I was a good two feet away from him before my emotions became too overwhelming for me to carry myself. Plus, running in heels, not exactly a great idea. I found myself on my knees, sobbing uncontrollably, and soon joined by a very concerned Harry.

He held my head tightly to his chest. "I know Baby, I know. It's okay," he whispered. "It's okay Baby." This is what I needed, I needed his touch.

"Why do you have to wear that stupid wig?" I asked in between sobs. Wow, I actually spoke.

I heard him lightly chuckle, trying to be gentle with my feelings. "I don't need to be seen here. I don't need to be on the telly because I'm at a funeral. Lex..." He paused and lifted my head up. "I'm sorry I did that. You were right. I shouldn't have called them. I could've just handed them the check. But I wasn't doing it to look good. I-"

"Just shut up," I sighed. "Please just hold me. It's okay Harry. I just want you to hold me." I felt more sobs escape my lips as Harry pulled me back into his embrace. We sat there for a good few minutes.

No matter how much I'm dreading it, I still need to go back and face Tommy's grave. At least now I have Harry.

I wiped my face free of snot and tears before standing up, pulling Harry up with me. I intertwined my fingers with Harry's, and we made our way over to my family and friends. Everyone was waiting on me to sprinkle dirt onto the grave. I sighed before grabbing a handful of the dust and holding it over the grave. But instead of releasing the dirt, my hand froze in it's place. I don't want to do this. I don't want to say goodbye.

I suddenly felt a hand linger on my frozen arm. It made it's way to my hand and gently nudged at my fingers.

"It's okay," Harry whispered into my ear. My lip began quivering. "I'm right here, Baby."

I relaxed my fingers, allowing every grain of dirt fall to Tommy's grave. Almost immediately afterwards, I wrapped my arms around Harry and buried my head in his chest, shielding my tears from being seen. His hands gripped both the bottom of my head and my waist, holding me as tight as he could.

"Thank you," I cried into his chest. He didn't say a word, kissing me on top of my head instead.

I turned my head towards the grave just in time to see it being lowered into the ground. Goodbye Thomas. Rest in Paradise.

---

That night, Harry had to fly back to London. I guess he wasn't even supposed to leave in the first place. I'm glad he broke the rules and came anyways. Before he left, he handed me a paper with his phone number and Skype name. He said if I ever needed to talk to him, even if he was sleeping, he'd stop what he was doing and talk to me.

He was the only one I'd talk to for the next week. I think my parents could hear me talking to him late at night, because they seem happier when they see me. They used to have concern just plastered all over their faces, only making me sadder. And they'd ask me a whole bunch of questions to get me to speak. If I'd speak at all it would be a one word response. But now they beam when I walk into the room, not even asking me to speak. They must know, right?

When Gail tries to talk to me, my parents tell her not to bother me. I feel like an awful person for not communicating with her. But I'm sad, and I don't want her to see me cry anymore. If I cry in front of her, she'll only be more confused. She still doesn't understand why Tommy won't come back. My parents have tried explaining to her over and over again, but she just doesn't get it.

It's late at night and I have a Skype date with Harry in a few minutes. I grabbed a yogurt out of the refrigerator, a spoon out of the kitchen drawer, and then made my way upstairs. When I reached my room, I put my yogurt and spoon on my end table, next to my laptop. I removed my clothes, trading them for a plain white t-shirt and some pajama pants with orange leaves on them. Then, I grabbed my laptop and sat on my bed before it.

*Incoming call from Harry Styles*

Finally. I clicked the accept button and grabbed my yogurt and spoon off of the end table. His beautiful face appeared on the screen. His hair was gelled, and looked straight in the front, but you could still see curls.

"Hello Beautiful," his raspy voice welcomed me.

"Hey," I smiled before taking a bite of my yogurt.

"Activia? Do you have some digestive problems I should know about?" he raised his eyebrows.

I giggled, "No, I just like the taste of their yogurt."

"I see," he scratched the back of his head. "How was your day today?"

"It was alright. I had another boring day of school. Oh yeah Holly still calls me Hermit."

"Don't let her get to you. She's obnoxious, I'm sure no one likes her." Yeah, except Louis and my first period class. "You caught up on your homework?"

"For the most part," I stirred my yogurt.

"That's good. I really miss you Lex," he smiled. "Are you going to come down for Christmas?"

Oh yeah, I forgot all about that. He invited my family and I to go down there for Christmas. It's the middle of November and I haven't even thought of that lately. Oops. Do I want to go? Maybe it'll be good for my family and I, just to get away from everything.

"Lex?" I snapped out of my thoughts to see Harry frowning. "You don't have to, I understand."

"No no no, I want to, really," I gave him a real smile. "I was just thinking it'd be great to take a breather from this place."

"Well, let me know what your parents say and I'll book you guys a flight."

Great. This means I have to speak to them. Can I even do that? "Can you ask them?" I whined.

"It's easier if you do. Plus, I don't have their numbers."

"I could give them to you," I compromised.

He chuckled, "Lex, you can do it."

"What if I cry?"

His smile faded, "Have you not spoken to them at all?" I just looked down at my bed, avoiding eye contact. "Look at me."

I hesitated at first, but I did as I was told. "It's okay to cry, Baby. You don't have to be strong for anyone, including yourself. Crying will only help heal you."

"I guess you're right."

"You guess?" he fake gasped. "I'm always right."

"Whoa, okay, let's not kid yourself."

"I was dead serious."

"Yeah, that's the sad part," I smirked.

He shot me a stern look and waved his index finger at me, "You're so lucky I'm not there to tickle you right now."

"Yeah, lucky," I half smiled. I missed play fighting with him.

"Hey, we'll see each other before you know it. I promise." He blew a kiss at the screen. I mirrored his movements and smiled.

"Hold on," Harry turned his head away from the camera. He faced back towards the screen, "There's someone here who wants to talk to you."

Harry handed the laptop to someone else. It was Niall. He looked different.

My eyes widened at the sight of his hair, "Niall, I can't call you Duckie anymore. You're not blonde!"

"Nope, it's platinum now," he grinned.

"More like lilac," I giggled before taking a bite of my yogurt. I forgot I was even holding the snack still. Distraction problems.

"It is a purple looking color, isn't it?" Harry asked and ruffled Niall's hair. Harry had positioned himself so he was sitting next to Niall, in front of the screen.

"I now grant you your new nickname, Periwinkle," I bowed before taking another bite of yogurt. Harry began laughing uncontrollably at Niall's new name.

"I suddenly miss Duckie," Niall pouted.

"Shouldn't have died your hair," I sung, waving my spoon at him.

Niall sighed, "I miss you Lexiboo."

"I miss you too."

"She says she wants to come out for Christmas," Harry said to Niall. "We just need her parent's permission."

"I think they'll let her," Niall smiled at the screen.

I swallowed more yogurt and looked down at my bed, "Probably since all they've done is feel sorry for me."

"I'm so-" Niall was interrupted by Harry's elbow colliding into his ribs. Harry knew I didn't want to hear anymore apologies for my loss since I've told him it was driving me crazy. Harry shook his head at Niall, telling him to drop it. "So what do you want for Christmas?" Niall changed the subject.

"I don't know," I shrugged. "I haven't really thought about it." I haven't thought about a lot of things.

"Jewelry it is." Niall squeezed his eyes shut and gave me a silly smile. This kid.

"You guys don't have to get me a thing," I smiled.

Harry leaned closer to his laptop, taking up more than half of the screen. "Yeah, but we're going to get you something anyways."

"I'd get you guys something, but what do you get a famous person who has everything?" I laughed.

"You coming here will be gift enough," Niall smiled as Harry leaned back into his earlier position.

"It's true," Harry nodded and placed his arm on Niall's shoulders. "And we don't have everything, we're missing you."

"Aww," I cooed. "I wish I could hug you guys right now."

"Hug the computer," Niall suggested. I laughed and did what I was told, grunting as if I were hugging it tightly. I looked down at the screen to see them doing the same thing, except they were fighting over who gives laptop the bigger hug. I wanted to shut my computer and see if they noticed I was gone. I giggled at those thoughts, but they pulled away from their computer before I could close mine. Darn it.

"Hey we have to go," Niall pouted. "We have to go rehearse."

"I should probably get to bed anyways," I looked at my clock which said '3:00AM' in bold green lettering. "It's 3, here."

"Geez Lex," Harry laughed. "Get some sleep, Crazy."

"I'll try."

"Bye Lexiboo!" Niall waved.

"Bye!"

Harry took the computer and began carrying it to another room. "Bye Lex. Same time tomorrow?"

"Of course," I smiled before blowing him a kiss. "Bye Bitch."

"Sweet dreams Lex," he almost whispered. He made a kissy face before waving, and closing the computer. I sighed and closed my laptop. I placed my now empty yogurt container in the trash and put my laptop and spoon on my end table. Then, I climbed under the covers of my bed. This was going to be the first good night of sleep I've had in a long time. Harry's my medicine, always making me feel better.

Notes

And there you go, all is forgiven. Poor Lexington is going through a tough time, but Harry is getting her through it :D

And now Thanksgiving is coming up for her.

How will Thanksgiving be for her and her family?

What will be next for Harrington?