The Past

He just stared at me. His face hardened and his jaw tightened. He opened his mouth as if to talk but no words came out.

“That’s impossible.” He said, almost too quiet to hear. “We were always so careful.”

“Except for once” I said slowly. “Before we got back together...we had both been drinking, and we obviously forgot.”

“That was four months ago!” He said, his eyes were still hard.

I took off my jacket and lifted up my flowy shirt which I had purposely worn. The bump was revealed. I was showing, barely, but the bump was still visible. I was a lot smaller then what most people were at 4 months.

“How long have you known?” He said.

“About a month. That’s when I started to show. Like really pregnancy sort of show. Before then I thought I was just bloated all the time.”

The pregnancy was pretty easy to cover. Firstly, I barely saw anyone, and when I did have to leave the house, I wore lots of coats, and because it was the middle of winter no one suspected anything. Harry’s curls framed his face, and his green orbs were shining from the moonlight reflecting in through my windows. His navy sweater was cosy and it made him look vulnerable yet warm- the Harry I had fallen in love with. Not the Harry of his past. I edged myself closer to him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”His voice was still hard but hurt flowed through his tone by the end. He flinched at my touch.

“Why didn’t I tell you?! You’re kidding right? You cut every kind of contact with me! I had no way of reaching you. I saw you for the first time tonight! Don’t put this back on me.” I cried. “I thought I was going to have to raise this baby on my own. Nobody knows about this but you!” I broke down, yet again.

Harry lay down and motioned for me to join him. I leant my head on Harry’s chest. His breathing calmed me. His heart was quick but steady. With the rise and fall of his chest suddenly I felt safe. Eventually reality faded and once again I entered my dreams.
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“Push!” A doctor said as I winced at the pain. I held her arm, searching the room for Harry. Panic washed over me.

“Harry?” Panic washed over me, as the doctor pulled a screaming infant from my body. “HARRY!?” I screamed, fear setting in my voice.

I no longer felt the pain that moments ago had washed through my body. Instead I felt empty. Where was Harry? The doctors didn’t seem to notice my cries for him, instead they handed me a child, wrapped in cloth. I looked down at the baby. He was still, no breathing, and his lifeless face seemed to hold a strong resemblance to Harry. I looked up at the nurses in confusion. Why wasn’t my baby breathing? They were just smiling at me as though nothing was wrong and this should be the happiest moment of my life. Couldn’t they see the fear and confusion in my face?! Couldn't they see the dead baby in my arms? Ryan rounded the corner. He walked towards me with a smile on his face. I looked back in horror! The boy who had repeatedly abused and raped me! Why was he here?!

“How are you my beautiful?” He said to me. “How is our little baby boy doing?” He looked down at the dead infant in my arms. “Our son is so beautiful! He has your eyes!” He rubbed his fingers through my hair.

I started to hyperventilate. Where was Harry?! This was Harry’s child! I screamed.
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I woke up in a sweat, looking around me frantically. I searched the bed next to me for any signs of Harry. He was gone. I got up and searched around my room. My alarm clock signalled that it was 3am. Horror set in! This was no longer a dream, this was reality and I couldn’t find Harry anywhere.

“Harry?!” I said opening my bedroom door, screaming down the hallway.

I went downstairs to look in the kitchen. It was dark, no sign of life. I ran back up to my room to find my phone. Relief washed over me when I saw the bathroom light on under the crack of the door. I knocked on the door.

“Harry! You gave me a heart attack. Don’t do that to me again.” I laughed nervously. The bathroom was silent. No answer. “Harry?!” I questioned. Still no answer. “HARRY?!” I started banging frantically on the door. Still no answer. The door was locked.

Notes

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