“No, no no” I shook my head, crying. “No Harry, I won’t let you.”

“You don’t have a choice anymore. I don’t have a choice!” He said rubbing his hand on my knee.

“Who’s to say that when you’re gone they aren’t going to come back and kill me? I will be vulnerable, I won’t have anyone protecting me”

He looked at me, his expression not giving anything away.

“I spoke to an old friend. I’ve got it sorted. They’ll protect you. They promised me.”

I desperately searched the corners of my mind for something to say... something that would change his mind. I knew from the way that he had said it that his mind was already made up but that wouldn’t stop me from trying.

“So what, you are going to take your life on the off chance that it will save me?” I asked desperately, tears streaming down my face.

“Of course.” He said, smiling through the tears that had formed in his eyes as though that was the obvious answer. I had never seen him cry before. “I would do anything to save you, my love.”

“That’s stupid Harry. I am better off, if you’re alive. They aren’t going to leave me alone just because you’re dead.”

“It’s worth a try.” His voice was so quiet as he tried to force a reassuring smile on his face. Even I didn’t buy it.

“Harry, if you die, I die. I can’t live without you, knowing that you killed yourself for me. I couldn’t live with myself. I swear to god Harry, if you take your life, I will be right behind you.”

He looked at me, hurt and confusion rushing over his features. “If I took my life, to save you, you would just go and kill yourself also? Why would you do that? I would take my life for you, all for you to just take your life in return?” He looked away in disgust. “What a waste...” he muttered under his breath.

“Then why do it, Harry? If you know that I am going to die anyway, why kill yourself?” I tried to reason.

I think I was starting to convince him because his barrier was breaking. He no longer looked strong, he looked vulnerable. He sniffled, took a deep breath before turning his head and connecting his green orbs with my blue ones. His face suddenly went serious as though something in his mind had clicked.

“I have to die. Tonight. And there is nothing you can say that will change my mind.” He stood. “I love you but I have no choice anymore.” He walked over towards the window and held onto the frame. He looked back at me. “I love you, but let’s not make this harder on both of us. I have to go.” He turned towards the frame. “Bye my love.”

No hug, no kiss. No proper goodbye?! A wave of nausea suddenly rushed over me and I felt my stomach churn. I ran to the bathroom, the sour taste rising up my throat. Harry rushed in after me and started to pat my back, holding my hair away from my face.

“I am sorry baby.” He ran his fingers through my hair. “None of this was ever meant to happen.” He almost said the last line as if he was talking to himself. He left the bathroom to get me a towel. I stood up and decided to use the one thing I still had that I had been keeping a secret from everyone. The one thing that may be able to save him, keep him alive, stop him from leaving through that window and never returning. I faced him as he turned around and walked back towards me, towel in hand. He paused as he saw me standing, my hands trembling by my side. Suddenly his facial features went cold as I looked straight at him. I suddenly felt strong. Stronger then I had felt in weeks.



“You can’t do this. You can’t kill youself... Harry...” I sighed “I’m pregnant...”

Notes

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