Goodnight Moon.
Please Open Grace.
Ashlynn’s POV.
By the time I got to London it was 9:30AM and the most expensive cab ride I have ever been on. The first place I went to was Harry’s apartment to get my many things that I had accustomed over there. I payed the cab and he drove off and I walked up the steps and got the spare key under the mat. I took a huge breath in and unlocked the door. I didn’t know who or what I would find but I wore a light jacket to hide my bruises and avoid all questions. From anyone who would ask. Just act cool Ashlynn.I opened the door to see no other then my best friends, Jayci and Eleanor.
“What are you doing here?” Jayci asked me as she got up from the kitchen table.
“What happened to you? Why does it look like you’ve been crying for hours on end?” that’s cause I have been I mentally answered Eleanor’s question.
“I’m fine, just came to get some stuff. Where are the boys?” I asked hoping they weren’t here.
“In the game room…NIALL..LOUIS, Ashlynn’s here.” Shit, thanks for nothing Jayci.
“Hello there Princess!” Niall said to me as he swooped me up for a hug. I cringed but not enough for him to notice. “Where’s Harold?”
“Holmes Chapel, I needed to get back early and get some work done.” I lied to them all but Jayci knew something was up. “I’m going to be upstairs I need to get some things!” I told them as I walked away and up the stairs to hear Jayci directly behind me.
We entered Harry’s room and I was pacing like a maniac looking for all of my things.
“Ashlynn…what happened? Talk to me. “ I ignored her and kept pacing for my things. She grabbed my arm where the newly placed bruise was. I cringed and winced at the pain.
“Damnit, let go of me. That hurts.” I told her causing her face to grow in concern.
“Let me see.” She demanded of me.
“No.” I denied.
“LET ME SEE IT NOW ASHLYNN!” she was yelling at me causing a total scene that caused our other close friends to run up the stairs and check on.
“Everything alright in here loves?” Louis asked us.We both ignored him and Jayci and I never broke eye contact.
“Show me.” She demanded of me again only now we had an audience.
I took my arm out of the sleeve of my sweater and her mouth fell and everyone’s faces were just as confused and upset as I’d ever seen.
“Did Harry do that?” Niall asked me as he walked towards me as he noticed the tears forming in my eyes. I broke eye contact with him and nodded guiltily. “What the fuck happened Ash?!” He yelled now needing to know.
“He was drunk. That was it.” I told them. “It’s fine really. I just need to get my things and get home.” I told them as they all stood in the doorway.
I gathered my things and pushed past them more upset and embarrassed then I was before.
“Let me drive you home Ash” Louis stopped me and grabbed my suitcase from my hand.
“Thank you.” Was all I said.
We sat in his car silently and drove,I finally grabbed my phone out of my bag for the first time in 3 hours and had what felt like million of unanswered messages and missed calls.
Harry: God. I don’t even know what to say. I fucked up.
Harry: Ashlynn I am so sorry baby.
Harry: I lost total control and hate myself for it.
Harry: You didn’t have to give back your stuff.
Harry: I get it, you need your time. But I love you so much.
I sighed under my breath and rolled my eyes and threw my phone back into my purse, Louis looked over at me sensing my tension.
“Harry? He keep texting you?” Louis asked me. ‘
“Yeah, he won’t leave me alone. “ I told him upset and guilty that I left with out a word.
“I can’t believe he did that…you know he loves you.”
“Louis, I know he does…but what happened wasn’t okay. He cheated on me and told me he hooked up with some other girl cause she put out and I didn’t then he pushed me up against a wall.”
“I just want to kick his ass.” He said under his breath.
“No, that’s not going to help any of this. I didn’t want to tell any of you because I didn’t want this to ruin anything for anyone.” I told him and was being totally honest.
“Are you guys going to get back together?” he asked.
“ I don’t fucking know Louis. I don’t know anything right now. Back off with the questions please.” I asked of him.
We pulled up to my apartment building and I got in the elevator and went to my floor. I unlocked the front door to see all my mail piled up on the floor from the mail slot. I had 2 checks and an extra check with a raise on it from having the magazine sell so many copies. A package slip was within the pile and it basically informed me to go pick it up at the front desk. I went downstairs to the front desk.
“Packages for Ashlynn Martinez please.” I told the clerk. He nodded his head and went back to the back to bring numerous packages. 2 small ones and 2 big ones. I took them upstairs to open them and the 2 big ones were heavy.
I opened the big ones first, the first package opened was a framed print of Eleanor’s magazine cover, and the second one was a framed print of Kendall’s cover. I loved these photos a lot, even the girls in them…Kendall and I started off on an incredibly rough patch but I think after she saw how serious Harry and I were and how serious I was about my work she respected me more. Not like it mattered now with how things were with Harry and I.
I opened the first small package and it was a DVD from my Dad’s address. I stared at it and decided not to watch it, I had already dealt with enough hurt for one day, I couldn’t do it again. The second package was a pair of keys and a note attached saying ‘I’m so proud of you baby and can’t wait to see how good you look driving this. Look out your window and hit the lock button.’ I got up to look at my window to see a red Jeep just almost like the one I had at home. Harry did it again, we weren’t even together and somehow he managed to still make my heart skip a beat. Worst part was that I couldn’t accept it.
It was 11AM and I needed sleep more than anything, but in order to sleep happily; I needed a shower. I pulled off my clothes and observed the girl who I was now. I was strong and scared. I was a girl who lost her Father a long time ago but had to say goodbye to him the other day. I was a girl who worked so hard to get out of an abusive relationship just to slip into another one. I was a girl who had saved herself for the right guy for it to only backfire in her face, I could never win. I was a girl who never needed a man, until now. He was all I needed. I got in the shower and cried my fears out, I cried all the hate in my body out; at least I tried to.It all came back to, why wasn’t I good enough for him? I don’t care how drunk he was , he still did what he did.
I washed the shampoo through my hair and turned the hot water on my bruises easing the pain a little bit. The infamous razor that had haunted me through so much , the one thing I promised Harry that I would never pick up after that one time I used it. Well people break promises, right? I’m just tired of being a fighter.
I took the razor and began cutting my wrist. I just wanted to feel something other than the fact that my boyfriend had lost it, I wanted to feel like for a second I had control over this situation I was putting myself in; because I had lost control of everything else.I winced in pain but the fact that it hurt more than the bruises Harry left me was a good thing. It made me forget about it all for a second, like it had never happened. Like for once the pain I was putting myself through was more significant then the pain he had caused me. I didn’t want to be mad at Harry, I wanted to be in his arms but at the same time I wanted to hit him in his nuts.
I got out of the shower after running the water over my wrist to somewhat clean the wound. I went to my first aid kit to get gauze and athletic wrap to hold it together. I knew what I did was stupid, and it wasn’t acceptable. I knew that it hurt the people around me and that killed me, but right now I just didn’t care.
I went to lie in my big warm bed and hid under the covers, my favorite hiding place. My phone had gone off numerous times from text messages and phone calls from my loved ones, but honestly I was in no place to talk. I just wanted to sleep and get away from everyone. I checked my phone one last time before plugging my phone up and going to sleep.
MISSED CALLS (6)
Harry
Jayci
Jacyi
Niall
Eleanor
Harry
Text Messages:
Jayci: If you need me, you know my number. I love you so much and don’t know what to say. We are going to get through this.
El:You know you’re my best friend. I’ll be by later to come check on you. –xoxo
Harry: I need to see you. I need to talk to you.
Harry: I’m leaving Holmes Chapel now, headed back to London. Please Ashlynn…I have to talk to you. I can’t take this.
Gemma: I’m sorry about my stupid brother ruining your weekend. We miss you here already! Let me know if you need anything! I’ll be in London soon and would love to catch up and get lunch!
Anne: Just making sure you made it back darling! Please let me know you’re ok! –xox
The only person I had any intention of texting back was Anne, so I did!
Me: Made it home safe. All showered up. Nap time now! <3
Anne: Good, so glad you made it back. Fair warning, Harry is going to come see you. He’s so torn apart.
Voicemail (1)
Harry : “Hey…It’s me. I, uhm. I know I fucked up. But I need to see you and I need to make sure that you’re ok. I know you hate me, God I can’t even live with myself right now Ash. But I know it’s a long shot but I need you.You’re the one. I’m on my way back to London and I’ll be dropping by. Please please please answer the door… Alright, I love you so much. “
I plugged my phone up and put it away, I would deal with Harry when he got here. But now sleep is the most important thing to me. Shuteye was all I wanted.
Harry’s POV.
After my shower I got dressed and went downstairs to talk things out with my Mom, thankfully she knew better than anyone else. She forgave me, which surprised me, now I just needed to forgive myself. The only way I could do that was to win over Ashlynn’s forgiveness. I packed my things and got in my car and headed back to London. I had sent Ashlynn numerous text messages and no reply from any of them. I knew she was ignoring me but I just wanted to believe her phone had fallen in a puddle of water or something. Instead of texting her I faced my fear and called her only to get her voicemail.
“Hola friends, this is Ashlynn. Sorry I can’t take your call right now but leave your name and number and I will call you back! “ the voicemail instructed.
“Hey…It’s me. I, uhm. I know I fucked up. But I need to see you and I need to make sure that you’re ok. I know you hate me, God I can’t even live with myself right now Ash. But I know it’s a long shot but I need you.You’re the one. I’m on my way back to London and I’ll be dropping by. Please please please answer the door… Alright, I love you so much. “ I told the voicemail machine and hung up.
After about 2 hours into my drive I decided to call Niall, my best mate. He would know what to say.
“Hello?” he answered.
“Hey man.” I said as he answered.
“What do you want Harold?” he asked me.
“Whoa who pissed in your cheerios this morning?” I asked him after observing the fact that he was in a mood.
“You did bro. Ashlynn came over here. What the fuck was going through your mind? Harry?” he asked me.
What was going through my mind? NOTHING. I’m a fucking idiot who messed up the best thing that has ever happened to me.
“Dude I know, ok? Please just let’s not.” I begged him to drop it.
“No Harry, LETS. You’re an idiot. I don’t even know who you are anymore.” His words killed me. I hated knowing I hurt them all.
“I don’t know what got a hold of me man. I know I’m an idiot. Just please Niall. Help me get her back.” I begged of him.
“You don’t deserve to have her back!” He yelled at me.
“I know I don’t. But I need her in my life. She’s my moon.”I told him.
“Are you going to go over there and see her?” He asked me.
“Yeah, I’m about an hour out. “ I informed him.
“Well do that, then come home so I can punch you in the face you twat. “ Niall told me.
“Got it.” I said and with that he hung up the phone.
After the rest of the drive I finally got to her apartment and sat in my car for an hour before I finally decided to man up and face what I had done. I walked inside the apartment building and up the flights of stairs. I arrived at her door and stared at it for a good five minutes before making the decision to knock.
I knocked 3 times and prayed she would answer.
Please answer Grace.
Ashlynn’s POV.
I was awakened from a knocking noise at my front door. I looked to my clock and it said 5:27PM. I don’t know who was bothering me but they were going to pay. I got out of bed and made my way down the hall to the front door. A part of me hoped it was Harry and a part of me hoped it wasn’t. I had a sports bra on and Nike shorts. I honestly didn’t care if he saw the damage he left. I looked through the peephole and it was no other then Harry.
I put my hand on the doorknob and held it for a second before deciding to open it. I pulled it open to see a restless exhausted Harry. I pulled it open to see the man that had broke my heart just the morning before and he was crying. I didn’t know what to do.
All I could do was stare.
By the time I got to London it was 9:30AM and the most expensive cab ride I have ever been on. The first place I went to was Harry’s apartment to get my many things that I had accustomed over there. I payed the cab and he drove off and I walked up the steps and got the spare key under the mat. I took a huge breath in and unlocked the door. I didn’t know who or what I would find but I wore a light jacket to hide my bruises and avoid all questions. From anyone who would ask. Just act cool Ashlynn.I opened the door to see no other then my best friends, Jayci and Eleanor.
“What are you doing here?” Jayci asked me as she got up from the kitchen table.
“What happened to you? Why does it look like you’ve been crying for hours on end?” that’s cause I have been I mentally answered Eleanor’s question.
“I’m fine, just came to get some stuff. Where are the boys?” I asked hoping they weren’t here.
“In the game room…NIALL..LOUIS, Ashlynn’s here.” Shit, thanks for nothing Jayci.
“Hello there Princess!” Niall said to me as he swooped me up for a hug. I cringed but not enough for him to notice. “Where’s Harold?”
“Holmes Chapel, I needed to get back early and get some work done.” I lied to them all but Jayci knew something was up. “I’m going to be upstairs I need to get some things!” I told them as I walked away and up the stairs to hear Jayci directly behind me.
We entered Harry’s room and I was pacing like a maniac looking for all of my things.
“Ashlynn…what happened? Talk to me. “ I ignored her and kept pacing for my things. She grabbed my arm where the newly placed bruise was. I cringed and winced at the pain.
“Damnit, let go of me. That hurts.” I told her causing her face to grow in concern.
“Let me see.” She demanded of me.
“No.” I denied.
“LET ME SEE IT NOW ASHLYNN!” she was yelling at me causing a total scene that caused our other close friends to run up the stairs and check on.
“Everything alright in here loves?” Louis asked us.We both ignored him and Jayci and I never broke eye contact.
“Show me.” She demanded of me again only now we had an audience.
I took my arm out of the sleeve of my sweater and her mouth fell and everyone’s faces were just as confused and upset as I’d ever seen.
“Did Harry do that?” Niall asked me as he walked towards me as he noticed the tears forming in my eyes. I broke eye contact with him and nodded guiltily. “What the fuck happened Ash?!” He yelled now needing to know.
“He was drunk. That was it.” I told them. “It’s fine really. I just need to get my things and get home.” I told them as they all stood in the doorway.
I gathered my things and pushed past them more upset and embarrassed then I was before.
“Let me drive you home Ash” Louis stopped me and grabbed my suitcase from my hand.
“Thank you.” Was all I said.
We sat in his car silently and drove,I finally grabbed my phone out of my bag for the first time in 3 hours and had what felt like million of unanswered messages and missed calls.
Harry: God. I don’t even know what to say. I fucked up.
Harry: Ashlynn I am so sorry baby.
Harry: I lost total control and hate myself for it.
Harry: You didn’t have to give back your stuff.
Harry: I get it, you need your time. But I love you so much.
I sighed under my breath and rolled my eyes and threw my phone back into my purse, Louis looked over at me sensing my tension.
“Harry? He keep texting you?” Louis asked me. ‘
“Yeah, he won’t leave me alone. “ I told him upset and guilty that I left with out a word.
“I can’t believe he did that…you know he loves you.”
“Louis, I know he does…but what happened wasn’t okay. He cheated on me and told me he hooked up with some other girl cause she put out and I didn’t then he pushed me up against a wall.”
“I just want to kick his ass.” He said under his breath.
“No, that’s not going to help any of this. I didn’t want to tell any of you because I didn’t want this to ruin anything for anyone.” I told him and was being totally honest.
“Are you guys going to get back together?” he asked.
“ I don’t fucking know Louis. I don’t know anything right now. Back off with the questions please.” I asked of him.
We pulled up to my apartment building and I got in the elevator and went to my floor. I unlocked the front door to see all my mail piled up on the floor from the mail slot. I had 2 checks and an extra check with a raise on it from having the magazine sell so many copies. A package slip was within the pile and it basically informed me to go pick it up at the front desk. I went downstairs to the front desk.
“Packages for Ashlynn Martinez please.” I told the clerk. He nodded his head and went back to the back to bring numerous packages. 2 small ones and 2 big ones. I took them upstairs to open them and the 2 big ones were heavy.
I opened the big ones first, the first package opened was a framed print of Eleanor’s magazine cover, and the second one was a framed print of Kendall’s cover. I loved these photos a lot, even the girls in them…Kendall and I started off on an incredibly rough patch but I think after she saw how serious Harry and I were and how serious I was about my work she respected me more. Not like it mattered now with how things were with Harry and I.
I opened the first small package and it was a DVD from my Dad’s address. I stared at it and decided not to watch it, I had already dealt with enough hurt for one day, I couldn’t do it again. The second package was a pair of keys and a note attached saying ‘I’m so proud of you baby and can’t wait to see how good you look driving this. Look out your window and hit the lock button.’ I got up to look at my window to see a red Jeep just almost like the one I had at home. Harry did it again, we weren’t even together and somehow he managed to still make my heart skip a beat. Worst part was that I couldn’t accept it.
It was 11AM and I needed sleep more than anything, but in order to sleep happily; I needed a shower. I pulled off my clothes and observed the girl who I was now. I was strong and scared. I was a girl who lost her Father a long time ago but had to say goodbye to him the other day. I was a girl who worked so hard to get out of an abusive relationship just to slip into another one. I was a girl who had saved herself for the right guy for it to only backfire in her face, I could never win. I was a girl who never needed a man, until now. He was all I needed. I got in the shower and cried my fears out, I cried all the hate in my body out; at least I tried to.It all came back to, why wasn’t I good enough for him? I don’t care how drunk he was , he still did what he did.
I washed the shampoo through my hair and turned the hot water on my bruises easing the pain a little bit. The infamous razor that had haunted me through so much , the one thing I promised Harry that I would never pick up after that one time I used it. Well people break promises, right? I’m just tired of being a fighter.
I took the razor and began cutting my wrist. I just wanted to feel something other than the fact that my boyfriend had lost it, I wanted to feel like for a second I had control over this situation I was putting myself in; because I had lost control of everything else.I winced in pain but the fact that it hurt more than the bruises Harry left me was a good thing. It made me forget about it all for a second, like it had never happened. Like for once the pain I was putting myself through was more significant then the pain he had caused me. I didn’t want to be mad at Harry, I wanted to be in his arms but at the same time I wanted to hit him in his nuts.
I got out of the shower after running the water over my wrist to somewhat clean the wound. I went to my first aid kit to get gauze and athletic wrap to hold it together. I knew what I did was stupid, and it wasn’t acceptable. I knew that it hurt the people around me and that killed me, but right now I just didn’t care.
I went to lie in my big warm bed and hid under the covers, my favorite hiding place. My phone had gone off numerous times from text messages and phone calls from my loved ones, but honestly I was in no place to talk. I just wanted to sleep and get away from everyone. I checked my phone one last time before plugging my phone up and going to sleep.
MISSED CALLS (6)
Harry
Jayci
Jacyi
Niall
Eleanor
Harry
Text Messages:
Jayci: If you need me, you know my number. I love you so much and don’t know what to say. We are going to get through this.
El:You know you’re my best friend. I’ll be by later to come check on you. –xoxo
Harry: I need to see you. I need to talk to you.
Harry: I’m leaving Holmes Chapel now, headed back to London. Please Ashlynn…I have to talk to you. I can’t take this.
Gemma: I’m sorry about my stupid brother ruining your weekend. We miss you here already! Let me know if you need anything! I’ll be in London soon and would love to catch up and get lunch!
Anne: Just making sure you made it back darling! Please let me know you’re ok! –xox
The only person I had any intention of texting back was Anne, so I did!
Me: Made it home safe. All showered up. Nap time now! <3
Anne: Good, so glad you made it back. Fair warning, Harry is going to come see you. He’s so torn apart.
Voicemail (1)
Harry : “Hey…It’s me. I, uhm. I know I fucked up. But I need to see you and I need to make sure that you’re ok. I know you hate me, God I can’t even live with myself right now Ash. But I know it’s a long shot but I need you.You’re the one. I’m on my way back to London and I’ll be dropping by. Please please please answer the door… Alright, I love you so much. “
I plugged my phone up and put it away, I would deal with Harry when he got here. But now sleep is the most important thing to me. Shuteye was all I wanted.
Harry’s POV.
After my shower I got dressed and went downstairs to talk things out with my Mom, thankfully she knew better than anyone else. She forgave me, which surprised me, now I just needed to forgive myself. The only way I could do that was to win over Ashlynn’s forgiveness. I packed my things and got in my car and headed back to London. I had sent Ashlynn numerous text messages and no reply from any of them. I knew she was ignoring me but I just wanted to believe her phone had fallen in a puddle of water or something. Instead of texting her I faced my fear and called her only to get her voicemail.
“Hola friends, this is Ashlynn. Sorry I can’t take your call right now but leave your name and number and I will call you back! “ the voicemail instructed.
“Hey…It’s me. I, uhm. I know I fucked up. But I need to see you and I need to make sure that you’re ok. I know you hate me, God I can’t even live with myself right now Ash. But I know it’s a long shot but I need you.You’re the one. I’m on my way back to London and I’ll be dropping by. Please please please answer the door… Alright, I love you so much. “ I told the voicemail machine and hung up.
After about 2 hours into my drive I decided to call Niall, my best mate. He would know what to say.
“Hello?” he answered.
“Hey man.” I said as he answered.
“What do you want Harold?” he asked me.
“Whoa who pissed in your cheerios this morning?” I asked him after observing the fact that he was in a mood.
“You did bro. Ashlynn came over here. What the fuck was going through your mind? Harry?” he asked me.
What was going through my mind? NOTHING. I’m a fucking idiot who messed up the best thing that has ever happened to me.
“Dude I know, ok? Please just let’s not.” I begged him to drop it.
“No Harry, LETS. You’re an idiot. I don’t even know who you are anymore.” His words killed me. I hated knowing I hurt them all.
“I don’t know what got a hold of me man. I know I’m an idiot. Just please Niall. Help me get her back.” I begged of him.
“You don’t deserve to have her back!” He yelled at me.
“I know I don’t. But I need her in my life. She’s my moon.”I told him.
“Are you going to go over there and see her?” He asked me.
“Yeah, I’m about an hour out. “ I informed him.
“Well do that, then come home so I can punch you in the face you twat. “ Niall told me.
“Got it.” I said and with that he hung up the phone.
After the rest of the drive I finally got to her apartment and sat in my car for an hour before I finally decided to man up and face what I had done. I walked inside the apartment building and up the flights of stairs. I arrived at her door and stared at it for a good five minutes before making the decision to knock.
I knocked 3 times and prayed she would answer.
Please answer Grace.
Ashlynn’s POV.
I was awakened from a knocking noise at my front door. I looked to my clock and it said 5:27PM. I don’t know who was bothering me but they were going to pay. I got out of bed and made my way down the hall to the front door. A part of me hoped it was Harry and a part of me hoped it wasn’t. I had a sports bra on and Nike shorts. I honestly didn’t care if he saw the damage he left. I looked through the peephole and it was no other then Harry.
I put my hand on the doorknob and held it for a second before deciding to open it. I pulled it open to see a restless exhausted Harry. I pulled it open to see the man that had broke my heart just the morning before and he was crying. I didn’t know what to do.
All I could do was stare.
Notes
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Wow you are doing really good with the story! I love this story and hope you keep doing an awesome job of writing it!
6/3/14