You & I
Chapter 6
Sammy p.o.v
My heart ached at the sight of Harry. He was curled up in a ball, crying his eyes out. I couldn't help but feel bad for him. I mean, is not everyday you learn that your ex girlfriend got in an accident, lost your child, then got pregnant with one of your best friend baby. Then ran off in the middle of the night with him.
Not in the middle of the night literally, but you know what I mean.
"W-wh-y would s-he do t-hat?" Harry asked in between breaths & cries.
"I don't know Harry." I said to him honestly.
I sat next to him with the intention to give him a warm full hug, but not knowing how would react viewing our past 'interaction', I rubbed his shoulder instead. Hopefully giving him the reassurance or friend that he needs.
I tried to comfort him with kind words but, in a time like this, I'm not sure anything could make him feel better. I hesitantly started to get up, thinking maybe he might need his space, when he pulled me back down and gave me a hug.
"Please don't leave me." He said.
Although I knew he was talking about not leaving him right now, I couldn't help but feel guilty. Because I had left him. He came to me 8 months ago for help and I had left him. I shut him down and told him to leave. I pushed him away when I should have saved him.
And look what happened to him.
His become an alcoholic who sleeps with girls left and right. His lost A LOT of his money in gambling and even though his fans try to help and still continue to support him, his falling apart. I let my mind drift off to that moment 8 months ago.
*Flashback*
"Sammy please I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." He said desperately trying to get me to forgive me.
"Oh so now you're sorry. When your baby's dead & your precious girlfriend leaves you that's when you're sorry.?." I said pacing around the room, ready to hit anything that came in my way.
"Look Sky didn't leave me I left her." He said with a slight hint of anger.
"OH RIGHT. AND THAT'S SUPPOSE TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?" I said yelling at him.
"LOOK. I DIDN'T MEAN FOR ANY OF IT TO HAPPEN. IT JUST DID. " He yelled back at me.
I was shocked that he even had the guts to yell at me but he got my best friend pregnant. I'm sure his got the guts for anything.
"REALLY, HARRY? IT JUST HAPPENED? SO EVERY TIME YOU SLEPT WITH HER IT JUST MAGICALLY HAPPENED?" I yelled back getting closer to him.
"YES. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED." He yelled back in my face.
"You're a fucking piece of shit you know that. How could you sleep with her, she's my best friend for God's sake. AND YOU GOT HER PREGNANT.YOU were suppose to be MY BOYFRIEND, NOT HERE'S." I said my voice cracking a bit.
"And I'm sorry. I know what I did was wrong and I'm sorry okay I'm sorry. I can't tell you why I did it but I did and I'm sorry. I LOVE you babe. I'm not just saying this because Sky's not here. Even if she was, I'd still be here with you because I love you. I love you Sammy I've always have. I guess I was so happy to have a good shag, I lost sight of what's really important to me." Harry said getting closer to me, crying.
" And that's you Sammy." He said cupping my face with his hands. "You bring a better man out of me & I love you for that I don't know where I'd be without you. Sammy I love you. With all my heart . Please baby please give me another chance to prove to you that I can change. For you. Please Sam I love you."
My heart melted at his words but I couldn't forgive like that. I couldn't forgive him that easily after what he did to me. What he did to us. I looked into his eyes to see pretty tears stream down his face.
As much as I hate to see him like this, I had to stay strong. If I forgive him now, he might think it's okay and do it again. I love Harry with all my heart but he broke it. He slept with my best friend and she got pregnant. What if she hadn't lost the baby? I'm sure he'll still be with her.
My heart ached at the thought of him and Sky having a baby together.
As much as I love him, I can't stay with him.
"Harry. I love you & you know that. But I can't see you again. I love you so much but you hurt me really bad. And even if I forgive you, I won't be able to be with you. Every time I'll look at you, I won't be able not think of what could've been if you and Sky had that baby. I can't live like that Harry. I can't be someone who could've been a father to my best friend baby. I can't look at you without thinking that you would have been happier off without me. I might be able to forgive you but I would never forget."
I looked deep into eyes as I talked. I needed him to understand why. Why I can't be with him. You can't be happy with someone who could've had a bettr happiness if they hadn't lost the most precious thing life had to offer.
Harry stared at me wide eye at what I'd said. I expected him to leave but he kissed he instead. A long deep passionate kiss. I closed my eyes and let my emotions get the best of me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me.
He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me as if there was no tomorrow. As if there was just him and me.
But there was a tomorrow and he & I won't be together. He broke away from the kiss as reality started to sink back in.
"Tell me you didn't feel anything. Tell me you you felt nothing and I'll leave. But if you did feel something I'll stay and I'll never let you go. Never." He whispered to me, his arms still around my waist.
Truth was, I did feel something but I couldn't let him know. I love him but I just couldn't. I took a deep breath before saying the most painful words I'd ever had to say.
"I didn't feel anything." I said with all the confidence I could find looking straight at him.
"Sammy please I--"
"I think it's best that you leave." I said cutting him off, freeing myself from his touch.
"Fine." Were the last words he said before leaving me crying alone.
*End flashback*
I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and held him closer to me. Something i wish i did 8 months ago.
"I'm not leaving." I said kissing the top of his head for his face was buried in the crook of my neck.
My heart ached at the sight of Harry. He was curled up in a ball, crying his eyes out. I couldn't help but feel bad for him. I mean, is not everyday you learn that your ex girlfriend got in an accident, lost your child, then got pregnant with one of your best friend baby. Then ran off in the middle of the night with him.
Not in the middle of the night literally, but you know what I mean.
"W-wh-y would s-he do t-hat?" Harry asked in between breaths & cries.
"I don't know Harry." I said to him honestly.
I sat next to him with the intention to give him a warm full hug, but not knowing how would react viewing our past 'interaction', I rubbed his shoulder instead. Hopefully giving him the reassurance or friend that he needs.
I tried to comfort him with kind words but, in a time like this, I'm not sure anything could make him feel better. I hesitantly started to get up, thinking maybe he might need his space, when he pulled me back down and gave me a hug.
"Please don't leave me." He said.
Although I knew he was talking about not leaving him right now, I couldn't help but feel guilty. Because I had left him. He came to me 8 months ago for help and I had left him. I shut him down and told him to leave. I pushed him away when I should have saved him.
And look what happened to him.
His become an alcoholic who sleeps with girls left and right. His lost A LOT of his money in gambling and even though his fans try to help and still continue to support him, his falling apart. I let my mind drift off to that moment 8 months ago.
*Flashback*
"Sammy please I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." He said desperately trying to get me to forgive me.
"Oh so now you're sorry. When your baby's dead & your precious girlfriend leaves you that's when you're sorry.?." I said pacing around the room, ready to hit anything that came in my way.
"Look Sky didn't leave me I left her." He said with a slight hint of anger.
"OH RIGHT. AND THAT'S SUPPOSE TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?" I said yelling at him.
"LOOK. I DIDN'T MEAN FOR ANY OF IT TO HAPPEN. IT JUST DID. " He yelled back at me.
I was shocked that he even had the guts to yell at me but he got my best friend pregnant. I'm sure his got the guts for anything.
"REALLY, HARRY? IT JUST HAPPENED? SO EVERY TIME YOU SLEPT WITH HER IT JUST MAGICALLY HAPPENED?" I yelled back getting closer to him.
"YES. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED." He yelled back in my face.
"You're a fucking piece of shit you know that. How could you sleep with her, she's my best friend for God's sake. AND YOU GOT HER PREGNANT.YOU were suppose to be MY BOYFRIEND, NOT HERE'S." I said my voice cracking a bit.
"And I'm sorry. I know what I did was wrong and I'm sorry okay I'm sorry. I can't tell you why I did it but I did and I'm sorry. I LOVE you babe. I'm not just saying this because Sky's not here. Even if she was, I'd still be here with you because I love you. I love you Sammy I've always have. I guess I was so happy to have a good shag, I lost sight of what's really important to me." Harry said getting closer to me, crying.
" And that's you Sammy." He said cupping my face with his hands. "You bring a better man out of me & I love you for that I don't know where I'd be without you. Sammy I love you. With all my heart . Please baby please give me another chance to prove to you that I can change. For you. Please Sam I love you."
My heart melted at his words but I couldn't forgive like that. I couldn't forgive him that easily after what he did to me. What he did to us. I looked into his eyes to see pretty tears stream down his face.
As much as I hate to see him like this, I had to stay strong. If I forgive him now, he might think it's okay and do it again. I love Harry with all my heart but he broke it. He slept with my best friend and she got pregnant. What if she hadn't lost the baby? I'm sure he'll still be with her.
My heart ached at the thought of him and Sky having a baby together.
As much as I love him, I can't stay with him.
"Harry. I love you & you know that. But I can't see you again. I love you so much but you hurt me really bad. And even if I forgive you, I won't be able to be with you. Every time I'll look at you, I won't be able not think of what could've been if you and Sky had that baby. I can't live like that Harry. I can't be someone who could've been a father to my best friend baby. I can't look at you without thinking that you would have been happier off without me. I might be able to forgive you but I would never forget."
I looked deep into eyes as I talked. I needed him to understand why. Why I can't be with him. You can't be happy with someone who could've had a bettr happiness if they hadn't lost the most precious thing life had to offer.
Harry stared at me wide eye at what I'd said. I expected him to leave but he kissed he instead. A long deep passionate kiss. I closed my eyes and let my emotions get the best of me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me.
He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me as if there was no tomorrow. As if there was just him and me.
But there was a tomorrow and he & I won't be together. He broke away from the kiss as reality started to sink back in.
"Tell me you didn't feel anything. Tell me you you felt nothing and I'll leave. But if you did feel something I'll stay and I'll never let you go. Never." He whispered to me, his arms still around my waist.
Truth was, I did feel something but I couldn't let him know. I love him but I just couldn't. I took a deep breath before saying the most painful words I'd ever had to say.
"I didn't feel anything." I said with all the confidence I could find looking straight at him.
"Sammy please I--"
"I think it's best that you leave." I said cutting him off, freeing myself from his touch.
"Fine." Were the last words he said before leaving me crying alone.
*End flashback*
I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and held him closer to me. Something i wish i did 8 months ago.
"I'm not leaving." I said kissing the top of his head for his face was buried in the crook of my neck.
Really enjoying reading this fanfic! Can't wait to read more! Hope all is well! ^-^ :) ♡♥
3/14/15