I Understand. An AU/punk story.

I sit on the warm sand for a long time. Just breathing and watching the golden sky and the white birds that flicker through my vision every so often.

I'm not going to lie.

I'm afraid.

But I also will not lie about the fact that I can't afford to be scared. I need to be brave and strong. For myself and my friends.

My phone buzzes, signaling another call. It feels like the millionth.

By now they know something is up. Perri and Rae would have wen't to the hospital and found that I was not there. They would have told Harry who would lose his shit.

I am he sent every gang member out looking out for me; his desperate act to keep my from Jake's claws. Little does he know they are already dug deep in to my skin.

I sigh a shaky breath and just flop on to my back.

I'm way off of the road and the actual beach. No one every comes this far down the coast, so I know I'll be alone. Which makes me glad because I just want to think..

The sand feels heavenly on my near bare shoulders, I close my eyes and fold my hands over my stomach.

My phone buzzes. Groaning I reach over and roll on my stomach, inspecting the texts and missed calls.

Twenty texts from Harry.

Seventeen from Louis.

A few from the girls, and Liam.

They probably think I have been kidnapped at this rate. I roll back on to my back and get in to a sitting position. Just a few more minutes under the hot sun won't hurt.

My thoughts and worries are interrupted when a tall figure sits next to me. I jump, and let out a little yelp. I whip my head and find Louis sitting next to me.

"H -how did you find me?" I gasp, clutching my racing heart. A very dull smile comes out of hiding.

"Just a hunch." He shrugs and turns his head to the water. "What are you doing here, everyone is freaking out." He chuckles. I can tell he is treading lightly. He doesn't know I know about Jake yet. My irritation grows like a hot fountain in my chest.

"Really? Why would that be?" I snap, crossing my arms over my chest like an irritable child.

"Because they care about you." He retorts, his brows knit together at my sudden anger.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me? I know all about Jake!" I yell at him. His jaw drops for a short moment. The ocean air blows his hair lightly.

"We agreed it would be best. For your own sake." He mumbles sadly, his eyes are devoted to my face as he gauges my reaction.

"What does that even mean?" I scoff.

"It means, you're a very impulsive girl." He laughs a small laugh and turns back to the water.

"It's not funny." I spit back. Glaring at the side of his perfect face.

"I know, I know... I'm sorry. I am. I should have said something... I just wasn't sure how you would handle it, with the breakup and everything." he reveals.

I just couldn't stay mad at him. ugh. Damn him. He frowns at me, his eyes full of things i don't understand and other things that I do.

"Can we just promise to be honest with each other?" I grumble. Glaring at my bare toes. He nods in the corner of my eyes, still looking down at me.

"What are you doing out here? Is something wrong?" His voice is as gentle as always and it soothes my high nerves.

Shit. I literally just promised him that we would be honest with each other.

"I wanted some space. This has been a very dramatic week." I lie coolly. He seems to buy it because he doesn't press for any more information.

"Well what do you want to do? Because you really should get out of the sun, your getting quite the tan." He smiles, his fingers brush over my nose, inspecting my hot skin that has been browning all morning under the UV rays. I smile, and playfully swat his arm away.

"Can you take me home? I'm really tired." I let out a big sigh and he nods. I haven' slept in far too long. My previous night was spent sobbing my eyes out like an idiot.

"Sure I can." He smiles and stands, offering a hand. I reach up and take it, letting him pull me to my feet. He picks up my sandals and carries them for me as we walk back to the regular part of the beach and then to his car.

He, of course, opens the door and lets me in first before jogging to his own side.

Once the car roars to life he turns the radio on, Passenger plays softly in the background.


"Have you thought about my... offer?" he swallows and a hug pit drops in my gut.

"Um, a little bit, yeah. I'm still thinking." I mumble sadly, looking out my window as we draw nearer to town. I hated this. This whole fucking situation and myself especially for letting my poor Lou get hurt because of it. Fuck this.

"Oh.." Is all we say and my chest burns. I bite the inside of my cheek. I want so bad to tell him everything. But I can't. I just can't.

I swallow as we pull up to my place.

"I'll call you later, OK?" I ask him, reaching over, I put my hand on his knee and he nods, looking at my hand but not at me. I bite my cheek harder. Fuck, this was hard.

"Yeah." he nods. I slowly crawl out of the car and wave him off. I hate myself. I really do.

I trudge my way up the stairs to my place. It's empty, a note on the counter from Rae, telling me to call if we come back and that they were worried. I glare at the paper before feeding the dogs and changing the water int heir bowls. They watch me happily, panting their faces off.

I make my way to the bathroom and find my skin has definitely suffered dome damage.

I'm quite tan but my cheeks has a tinge of red from sun burn as well as the tops of my shoulders. Great. Just what I fucking need.

After taking a cold shower, I put some sweats and a T shirt on and pad to the living room where I find my phone ringing. Again. Might as well....

"Hello?" I grouch, not bothering with caller I.D.

"Where the fuck are you?!" Harry bellows. I cringes from the sudden loudness over the speakers.

"I'm at home." I answer simply.

"Why didn't you answer anyone's calls?" He spits. Still obviously upset from my harsh rejection from just the other night.

"Left my phone at home." I lie with ease. I know if he was to see me he would call my bluff.

"If I or any of my friends call. You better answer." he threatens. I don't bother getting mad. I know it's just his insecurities talking.

"Whatever. When are you getting out?"

"A day or so." His voice still mad. I hear chatter int he background, I recognize our friends.

"OK, well I'll see you later.." I offer, wanting to distance myself from him. I needed to keep him safe.

"OK.." He mumbles, halfheartedly. We say our byes and then he hangs up.

Now I need to make sure to keep my distance from them.

Notes

filler. sorry. shittiest chapter thus far but I'm sick from my insomnia meds again... bllaaaahhhhhh. I'll update tons tomorrow and this weekend.

Shits about to go down.