I Understand. An AU/punk story.

"Lilian, just wait. Just explain what happened!" Harry cried, running after me. Sensing just how mad I was.

"I GO TO THE BATHROOM, SHE COMES IN AND JUMPS ME! WHO DO YOU THINK MY FACE LOOKS LIKE THIS!?" I scream in his face, I'm hot and upset. Lauren's fake act is slowly becoming weaker by the second. Harry's lips are a hard line as he turns back to his cousin.

"Is that true?" He hisses. She shakes her head. He looks at me, nothing but distress in his eyes.

"Are you fucking kidding me, look at me!" I snap at him.

"lauren, she does seem pretty banged up..." Liam ads quietly. Lauren shoots him a death glare.

"I don't think Lily would do that." Niall ads. I thank him with my eyes. Harry looks between us. Time for him to choose.

Me or her.

"Lily and Lauren... I... I just." He stumbles. "Lauren, would you honestly lie to me?" Harry asks her, hes getting mad now. She glares at me and doesn't answer. "Lauren!" Harry finally yells, she looks back to him. She shakes his head at her silence.

But before he can turn back to me, I'm already on my way out the door. Fuck this shit. He calls me but I ignore him.

I'm not mad, nor upset. Just frustrated.

"Lily, please!" Harry begs. I stop in my tracks and turn to him. "Just don't run off, just talk to me!" He begs.

"I'm really tired of just talking with you.... I'm really tired in general so I'm just gonna go home... I'll catch you later." I tell him, my voice failing.

"Hey, don't walk away mad. You'll just stay mad." (Random note, one of my x bf's used to say this all the time to me. It's like my relationship mato.)

"I'll talk to you later..." I mumble under my breath, already half way down the parking lot.

I walked my ass home that night.

-

I'm sprawled out on the couch watching a dance moms re run, feeling sorry for myself. Downing a whole bag of potato chips. Tonight sucked. It's only around six O clock, the suns barely setting. I'm sick of feeling sorry for myself I go to my room and change in to some running clothes. I'll just go for a jog and clear my head..

http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=107466458

Making sure I was stretched I went outside and started an easy jog down the sidewalk. It was a good time. I really did like running. I went for a while so I was working up a good sweat.

A few miles later I found myself on the rougher side of town, it was starting to get dark now so I would need to get heading back. Harry nor any of my friends would like me out this late by myself. I knew a short cut that would get me home quicker, it was through an alley. But it didn't worry me, considering straight across the alley was a house with kids in the front lawn and a grandma so at least there were people around.

I kept on jogging until I got towards the garbage cans. And damn did it smell! I gagged practically at the smell. Next thing I knew I was tripped and fell to my knees. Hard.

Cement burns chaffed up my shins and knees, as well as my palms where I tried to catch myself.

"Shit!" I cursed, I looked over my shoulder to see what I tripped on and what I saw nearly made me throw up.

A pale


Boot Covered




Leg.


I attempted to scream but nothing came out, I spraweled backwards on my ass, crab walking away from it, hugging my chest.

And then it hit me.

A picture of Rhonda flashed in my mind.....

Those boots.......

Oh no.


I scrambled to the leg and pulled, sure enough it was attached to someone.

I threw a few garbage bags to the side and rolled the girl over.





Jess.

"JESS!" I screamed, grabbing her shoulders but the minuted I touched her skin I knew.


She was dead......

I let out a terrified scream and fell back, staring at the corpse of one of my good friends laying in the trash.

-

It didn't take long for my screaming to attract attention.

The police were called.

Jess was taken away in a body bag.

I was brought down town after being inspected my a person in the ambulance. I was in shock.

I sat in the questioning room for a few hours and took a lie detector test but it was obvious I didn't kill her... she had been dead for at least two days there, just rotting in the trash....

I didn't cry though.

I was too scared.

"Who do you want us to call mam?" A kind faced officer asked me, handing me a water bottle. I had no idea....

"P -Perri E - Edwards." I stammered and gave them the number. he came back about ten minutes later.

"Shes on her way, you're free to go but don't leave town. I'm very sorry for your loss ma'm. I'll be sure to keep you posted." He said softly, escorting me to the main part of the police station.

I sat there numb and scared for I'm not sure how long. The next thing that happened, Perri and Harry were rushing through the doors. When they spotted me they ran over, helping me up, she wrapped me in a huge hug. I held on to her for dear life, thankful it wasn't Perri... It could have been.... It could have been any of my friends... It could have been me....

She wraps an arm around my waist and gives the keys to Harry who's at a loss for words.

Us girls huddle in the back seat, she gives me her sweater, trying to get me to stop shaking but I can't. When we pull up to my place, Harry opens the door for us. Perri keeps talking to me but it's like I can't hear what shes saying.... I can't see anything except Jessica's beautiful face all cut up and pale...... It could have been me.....

Harry swings me in to his arms like a baby but I don't hold his neck, I just lay there. All of our friends are waiting in the apartment. Some of them watch mystied eyed as Harry carries me to the bedroom, others say something but I can't hear. Harry places me on my bed and jogs back to the living room.

He shuts the bedroom door but I can still hear his voice telling them they should all go and that it would be a tough night. Marcel comes back in after Harry opens the door but Harry makes him leave.

Coming slowly to the bed he kneels in front of me.

"Lilian?'' He says softly, cupping my cheek. But I don't reply, I just look through him. His hands peel off my sneakers and socks. Followed by my work out shorts and sweater. He gets one of his shirts thats left here and hands it to me. I struggle with my sports bra with my trembling hands so he stands up, looks to the side, and peels it over my head, putting his shirt on me. Being careful not to look at my bare chest.

I can't stop shaking, I'm cold and scared. When I'm dressed Harry pulls my to the head of the bed, putting me on his lap, I lay my head on his shoulder. He rocks us side to side as I try to get her face from my mind.

"Lilian, you're scaring me. Please say something..." He whispers, kissing my head.

I pull back and look in to his eyes.

"it could of been me." I whisper really slowly. He furrows his brows. "It could have been me..." I say a little louder, eyes now finding their tear ducts.

"lily -"

"I partied everywhere she did! I was just as dumb! It could have been me, Harry! IT SHOULD OF FUCKING BEEN ME! WHY DID SHE HAVE TO DIE!? WHY DOES EVERYONE I LOVE FUCKING LEAVE ME!?" I scream hysterically in his face. He engulfs me in seconds as I break down.

Flipping me on my back and laying on my chest, he hugs me so tight. I'm afraid if he lets go my sobs and screams will literally crack my body in half and his muscles are just holding me together.

"How could someone do that to her!? She never hurt anyone! Why did I have to find her!? I don't understand!" I scream in to his neck. He smooths my hair and I feel him sniffle too, I know hes crying a little bit too.

I hiccup and convulse under him for hours.

I have never cried so much in my entire life.

"Tell me what I can do?" H begs over and over, I know I'm killing him but I can't bring myself to stop. It hurts to bad...

My dad, my mom, Louis, Jess.... Was Harry next? Perri? Niall? Liam?

I imagined Harry lifeless on the street, mouth slightly agape. It made me scream even harder.

I brought my shaking fists to my head and smashed my eyes, trying to get rid of all the nasty images.

I sobbed and sobbed.

"Harry I just want my dad!" I cried and cried and cried

Notes

WHO KILLED HER?