We lay like that for a second.

Just laying there, his arms around and under me, gliding along my skin, his head laying gently on mine, his breath on my neck.

I can't help but feel my heart pang violently in my chest.

If only...

It could have been this perfect and still be this perfect if he hadn't fucked up.

I bite the inside of my cheek and scream bloody murder inside my head.

Of only...

"I miss you, you know." He whispers, pressing this awkward ex stuff even farther.

"I miss you too.." I whisper back.

He gets up for a second and for a moment I think it's to leave but he sits up, grabs the comforter and then before he lays down glances down at my back.

My shirt rode up in his movement, I lay my head on the side as watch him, study my bruised back. Before I can call him out at his gawking, his large, cool hand stats right at the beginning of my leggings and glides up my back softly. I shiver but don't stop him.

His eyes flicker to mine before turning his attention back to my skin. The bruises were getting better and were now a light greenish yellow as all bruises get before they heel.

His hand glides up and down my spine smoothly, I don't know what the fuck hes doing but i never want him to stop....

His other hand joins and they both knead gently from the waistband of my leggings up to my bra clasp. I stifle a moan and close my eyes. His hands are magic. It's decided.

His fingers stay gently on my bruises but still hard enough to get it to feel pleasurable as he massages my bare back. His fingers gently go under my bra strap and then ride all the way down the cure of my spine.

I moan and my face blushes bright red. Damn.

Harry stops his movements for a moment.

Then he straddles my waist from behind, his breath a little heave as he pulls my shirt up farther and works his hands in to my lower back right above my ass. His thumbs dig in to the bottom of my spine and then wouldn't you now it.... I fricken moan again.

I know he's smirking and my fucking eyes are closed.

I can feel his chest come in contact with my back as his lips press to my bare shoulders. Cue shiver.

He smiles on my skin and massages dangerously low on my back as his lips leave light yet lazy kisses on my spine. The tension in the air is thick as hell.

What the fuck am I doing?! I snap back in to reality.


He cheated. Yet here you are in his bed. He has his hold on you, that boy does.

My subconscious sneers at me and I suddenly feel sick to my stomach.

Enough. This can't happen. I promised him and myself we were done, and now what?! I am back in his bed....

I roll on to my back in between his legs, trying to stop this weirdly intimate moment.

He doesn't take it that way...

He dips down and nudes my head gently with my own as his lips meet my jaw bone. My breath hitches as his hands trail sneakily up my stomach, running his hand up and down my sides.

When his mouth meets my neck I suddenly feel like I'm frozen in place. He leaves open mouthed kisses on my throat, finding the sweet spot under my ear, he sucks on it gently, nipping lightly with his pearly teeth.

I whimper and he chuckles, blowing cool breath on the irritated patch of skin.

"Harry.." I breathe, a moan follows suite as his mouth trails kisses down my collar bone. Oh god...

"I missed this so much.." he moans on to my chest as he leaves light pecks.

Missed what? Sex? Kissing? Hickies? or me? I get a bad gut feeling. I don't know what I'm doing but I don't feel like I can ever move him.

His hips rick on mine and butterflies rack like iron sparrows. Holy shit...


The friction is perfect as it cascades up my back making my once again shiver.

Shit, shit, shit, think! What the fuck are you doing?!

I need to stop!!!

Then he releases his sexy groan and I moan in reply. That sound did things to me. Bad things...

His hips rock on mine again and I can feel him get hard again.

Before I can even open my mouth to tell him to go farther... I see a ghastly image of him and Carissa in my mind. I swallow and nearly choke on my spit.

His hands touching her like his on my body, his mouth leaving his mark.

Fuck, I can't. I can't stop seeing it.
"Harry." I whisper.

"Hmm?" He hums happily, attempting to leave a new hickie. I grab his shoulders and push him back.

He obeys but doesn't get off.

"Whats wrong, doll?" He coos, cupping my cheek.

"Don't call me that!" I snap. I suddenly feel like crying, screaming and punching a wall. Harry. And myself in the face.

I jsut promised myself no more , Harry and here we fucking are!!!!

"Woah, whats wrong?" His voice gaurded as he gets off of me.

"I can't. I'm sorry." I choke and get off of him, trying to get off the bed.

He doesn't reply for a milli second.

"Are you fucking with me? Is this some kind of game to you?" He spits and I whip around to find him angry.

"NO! I -"

"Last week you were sleeping in my bed and then left some bullshit note. You told me no more boys yet you're practically with Louis. And now we do that and you're running you?!" He yells, getting off the bed to tower over me.

"Harry -"


"Save it! I'm sick of your games with me!"

"My games?!" I yell back.

"YES!" He throws his hands in the air obnoxiously. "You just play with my emotions, Lilian. It's so unfair! Either fucking be with me or stop all of this back and forth shit because I. CAN'T. TAKE. IT. ANYMORE!" He screams.

oh...

"Harry, that's not what I mean to do.." I whisper, his eyes are wild and his hair is even crazy looking.

"Well you sucede! I love you. I fucking love you so bad it hurts me! And I feel like shit every time you run off to god knows who or where!" He continues to yell.

I shake my head and hold in the tears. Screwing my eyes shut, I take a deep breath and open my eyes back up. His face is sad and defeated.

"I want you. I swear to god I keep trying. But every time you touch me I see you and her. And it makes me sick. Harry, I literally feel ill because you were my everything and you dropped it at the first girl. So don't you dare get mad at me for playing 'unfair' games. Because you're the one who cheats when he plays." My voice is dripping with malace as his jaw drops. "I'm trying to get over what you did. Sorry for being a fucking human and having feelings!"

And with that I turn and leave.

Notes