Well I liked your story. Your grammar is very poor but if you take your time and edit it, it would look nice.
I really like like the plot but I was confused about who's POV it was half of the time. It was sloppy but I could read it. It's very interesting. -M

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If this was a disappointment to read, please remember you asked ME to review your story. Don't bitch or anything like that because it's my opinion.