Today is January 6th and I'm currently on my way back to school. New Year's Eve actually turned out pretty fun, even after Harry and I's mirror experiment. We had gone back downstairs in time for the countdown, and we had even bumped into Audrey and Seth. The encounter wasn't as horrible as I imagined, it seems as if Harry is finally accepting Seth since he's no longer trying anything with me. I still find it a bit iffy that he had gone straight for my best friend after I reconnected with Harry, but I don't let myself over think it anymore. Going back to school means more lectures with Seth, which I don't mind, but I don't think Harry has thought that far ahead yet.

Four days ago Harry and I finally exchanged our Christmas gifts to each other. He had gotten me an assortment of scented candles, the novel Looking For Alaska, after hearing me complain about wanting to read it, and new records for my vinyl player. I was completely shocked and felt extremely bad after receiving all of this from him, but he had convinced me that he wanted to, after mumbling under his breath that he's new to the whole girlfriend thing. I had gotten Harry a new leather watch since the one he's been wearing has been hanging off a thread, and a brand new leather journal, similar to Gemma's. I was hesitant on giving him this because I wasn't sure how he would take it. I know he keeps Gemma's journal around, but I'm not sure if he keeps it to read it or if he writes in it himself, but either way he had given me a genuine smile, informing me that it was thoughtful and that he would use it.

Recently I've been feeling like Audrey and I have both been distancing ourselves from each other. It saddens me because we've been friends for years, and part of the reason we applied to the same school was to stay close to one another. It may be because of the two new men in our lives, but I'm hoping it's just a phase. She is still my roommate, and although I tend to spend the majority of my nights with Harry, and she seems to disappear herself, I'm going back to the dorms with a goal to become close again. I miss having a best girlfriend in my life, and I wouldn't want anybody else to take her place.

Saying goodbye to my mother earlier was tough, but knowing that in just three months I will be finishing off my first year of college is absolutely insane. The sun is finally setting as I'm sat in the passenger seat of Harry's car. He had put together a new mixtape CD after taking my phone and finding out some of my favourite music. The lyrics of Holocene by Bon Iver is currently filling the vehicle, and I find myself closing my eyes in contentment. Everything in my life is so perfect for once, the feeling of Harry's fingers intertwined in mine and his low voice humming along to the melody brings a smile onto my face. My new novel lays open in my lap as Harry insisted on me reading to him for the first half of the car ride.

"Are you hungry?" His voice breaks me from my thoughts, his eyes glancing over at me before concentrating back on the road.

"A bit." I answer honestly, feeling my stomach grumble once the thought of food comes to mind. I haven't eaten since this morning.

"A bit?" He teases, his hand tightening around mine. "Let's stop for some food."

I nod my head thankfully, not wanting to go back to school just yet. I know just a few days ago I was wishing that winter break was over and I was already at school, but now that it's actually over I want nothing more than to be back home. I'm not looking forward to the early mornings, late night studying, and the three hour lectures. The only thing that will help me get through this is having Harry there with me.

I sometimes find myself wondering what would happen if we ever broke up. Although we haven't been together for a very long time, I feel like we have a stronger relationship than what a couple of three years would have. What's going to happen once school finishes? I know we live in the same area, but what if one of us decides to travel this summer? What if he goes back to England? Or gets a job that keeps him busy every day.

"Em," My head snaps in his direction, my concerned thoughts slowly disappearing after hearing that same nickname that makes my heart flutter. "We're here baby, I mean if this is okay, I just pulled into the first thing I saw, we can always find somewhere els-"

The small giggle that left my lips was all it took for him to narrow his eyes at me, a small smile playing along his pink lips. Nervous Harry is one of my favourites, he's truthfully so nerdy and dorky that it's ridiculous. While walking on the streets he always gets stares for his model like features, but little do these strangers know that he's actually a 10 year old child.

"I'll take that as a yes so I'm going to get out of the car now." He smiles, his finger making quick contact with my cheek before he slides out of his car door. I watch his long strides cross around the front of the car, towards me.

"M'lady." He bows, his big hand resting on my lower back as I step out of the car.

I smile to myself, swinging my purse over my shoulder. "Dork."

"What's that?" He raises a brow, his tongue darting out of his mouth to wet his lips, grabbing my full attention.

His loud chuckle breaks me from my stare, a deep crimson spreading across my face as I lean my head against his shoulder. His arm reaches out ahead of me to open the door, his opposite hand on my lower back ushering me inside the warmth. We stand in the back for a couple of minutes while letting our eyes roam the menu board above the counter. Harry leans towards me and asks if I want to split a pizza, and what we don't eat we'll bring back to the dorms.

I nod my head as we make our way to the front of the store. A short young girl is standing behind the counter, a shy smile on her lips. "Hi there," Her eyes gaze to the body standing beside me. "What can I get for you guys?" She asks, her voice slightly shaking.

"A large pepperoni pizza please," Harry speaks, a faint pink spreading across her cheekbones as she quickly nods and escapes into the back room.

Whether it's his beauty or his deep accented voice, or both, I can't find the strength to be angry or jealous with her, as it seems almost every female and even some males are mesmerized by Harry's looks. His arm tightens around my waist, his lips pressing a quick kiss to my forehead. I smile at the small gesture as I look around, finding the store pretty empty aside from an elderly couple sat further towards the back. A small smile makes it's way to my lips as a familiar song starts to play from the speakers above us, a small gasp coming from beside me. I look over at Harry, to find his eyes shining with slight humour.

"You, my brown eyed girl," He smiles a devilish smile, his hand squeezing my side. "Do you remember when we used to sing," He pauses, before shouting out the lyrics. "Sha la la la la la la la la la la dee dah!"

My hand is quick to cover his mouth, the lyrics now coming out muffled, but I can feel his smile growing beneath my hand. I can't stop the laughter coming from my body as I quickly look around the small restaurant. The same elderly couple is now smiling at the two of us, which for some reason really warms my heart. Just as I smile back at them, I feel a slight pinch, causing me to yank my hand back to my side.

Realization hits me. "You just bit me!" I whisper yell, earning a dimpled smile from the green eyed boy.

He shrugs his shoulders, his arm snaking back around my waist as his other hand fishes out his wallet from his pocket. My smile quickly fades as I see what's in his hands, a long sigh leaving my lips. I absolutely hate how he pays for almost everything we do.

The young girl returns from the back with a large pizza box settled in both of her hands. "Thank you." I speak up, appreciative that she's not like most of the other girls who glare at me once they see that I'm the girl accompanying the curly headed boy. She gives me a shy smile before stuttering out the total.

I watch as Harry hands her a bill, telling her to keep the change which causes her face to turn a deep shade of red. She mutters a thank you and I smile to myself as we exit the store, Harry holding the large pizza box in just one of his hands.

"I think she's the tomato." I tease as I rest my chin on his shoulder, while looking up at him. A faint smirk makes it's way to his lips, his eyes connecting with mine briefly before settling on the car keys in his opposite hand.

Once the car is unlocked, I take the pizza box from Harry and slide into the passengers seat. He shoves the keys into the ignition and turns the heat on high, the faint music playing in the background. He reaches into the back seat and pulls out a bottled coke, placing it in the cup holder between us to share. He gives me a small smile before leaning over the console and opening the pizza box, the fresh aroma filling my nose.

---

We've been parked in the parking lot for about an hour now, eating and relaxing. We had boxed up the last few slices left and put it in the back seat to take back to the dorms. Harry is currently reclined in his seat, his hands clasped together in his lap, his lips slightly parted. I'm not exactly sure if he's asleep, but I find myself quite restless. I settle on the idea of reading a few more chapters of my novel before waking him. As I reach into our shared bag, I feel my brows furrow together in confusion as it seems to have disappeared. As I pull the bag onto my lap, my eyes land on a leather journal. The journal being quite familiar because it is the one that I had given to Harry for Christmas. I quickly glance over at the sleeping boy before carefully placing the book onto my lap, unravelling the long thick strap that's securing the book together. As I quietly flip to the first page, I'm surprised to be met with black ink, rather than a blank page like I had expected.

"There’s not much stigma anymore,
For this serious mental flaw.
But no one knows where it will strike,
It’s just the luck of the draw."

My brows furrow together in confusion as my eyes continue on to the next paragraph, the words messily handwritten.

"I try and try to ease the pain
A fallen effort with no gain,
Thoughts begin to eat away
Makes me want to end it today."

My heart increases in speed as I turn to the next page. My eyes roaming over the filled page, but the first two words specifically catch my attention.

"Emma Peterson," is printed at the top of the page, followed by longer sentences written messily beneath the text.

"I don't know why the fuck I'm writing in this like I'm some 19th century man writing with a quill. I'm writing with a pen, just so you know, not like anyone is actually going to read this."

I instantly feel guilty, knowing that I'm invading Harry's personal space, but I don't have the strength to stop myself from going on.

"Anyway, Emma got me this journal for Christmas, and as lame as it sounds, I love it. It may sound quite pathetic but I feel like this is a way I can finally talk to you Gem, a way we can connect. I still have your journal,but I still have difficulties opening it. I miss you, a lot. Life fucking sucks without you and I wish you were here to see how much things have changed. We don't live in the UK anymore, Mum made us leave a few years after you disappeared. I hated her for that and I still do. I know you'd be upset that Mum and I don't really have much of a relationship anymore, but I can't stand her Gem. I'm in college now, and I've met a girl. You'd like her, I know you would. You two would have gotten along great. I know the last time you saw me I was just a kid, but I turn 20 this year. Anyway, Emma, that's the girl, she's beautiful, Gem. I know you don't know this, but I've had my fair share of girls and I'm not exactly proud of that, but Emma, she's different. I know that sounds clique as fuck, but she really is. Little does she know, that she saved me. She doesn't know, and I guess you don't know either, about the things I went through after you went missing. She has no idea that-"

I quickly shut the journal, knowing that I shouldn't be reading what was about to be said. As much as my curiosity is killing me, I've gone too far and if Harry really wanted me to know about something, he would tell me. My heart is pacing at a ridiculous speed, my hands fumbling with the thick strap, before shoving the journal back into the bag. My fingers run through my newly cut hair as I glance at the sleeping boy, before pulling out my phone.

My mind is racing with a million thoughts. I don't know about what? I mentally curse at myself for invading Harry's privacy like that. The journal isn't even four days old so he must have just written this recently. I quickly shake my head as I scroll down my music page. I desperately need a distraction and as I pass by one specific song, I come up with an evil idea. A small smile tugs at the corners of my lips as I plug my phone into the long stereo cord. I pause the song and turn the volume notch on high before pressing play.

"Making love in the green grass behind the stadium," I shout along with the blaring music. I watch as Harry jolts awake in his seat, his eyes wide with panic. "With you, my green eyed boy," My singing turns into laughter as a long string of curse words leave his lips.

"Fucking hell, Emma," He groans, his hands fumbling with the notch, before turning it all the way down. "You scared the living shit out of me." He mumbles in annoyance, his hand making quick contact with his chest, making me feel slightly bad.

"You have living shit inside of you?" I tease, placing my hand onto his thigh, only for him to push it away.

A long sigh leaves his lips as he pulls the car out of park. I run my fingers through my slightly knotted hair and stare out the window. The drive is silent, making me feel uncomfortable. I reach into the bag only to remember that my novel wasn't in there. I lift my feet and find it laying on the floor, so I pick it up and place it in my lap. I start reading to myself from the page we had left off at. Just as I'm flipping into the next chapter, I feel a warm hand place down onto my knee.

"I'm sorry." He speaks, causing me to look up from the small text.

I shrug my shoulders and glance down at his hand before connecting my eyes with his. "No, I am, I shouldn't have done that."

"No, it was funny, I just," He sighs, his grip on my leg tightening as his thumb continuously strokes my knee. "I just had a bad dream, will you read to me?" He asks.

I nod my head, slightly annoyed because it's just now that he decides to finally speak. I flip back to the chapter where we had previously left off and begin reading out loud, my mind slightly distracted as all I can think about is this bad dream of his, and that damn journal.

"'Anyway,'" Alaska said to me. "'I thought the way he treated you was just awful. I wanted to cry. I just wanted to kiss you and make it better.'"

"'Shame you didn't,'" I deadpanned, and they laughed."

The way Harry listened to every word so intently brought a smile to my lips. He was so focused
on every word I spoke, although his eyes were trained on the road ahead. He would nod in understanding when something big happened, and he'd smile when something was amusing.

"'You're adorable," she said, and I felt the intensity of her eyes on me and looked away nervously. "'Too bad I love my boyfriend.'"I stared at the knotted roots of the trees on the creek bank, trying hard not to look like I'd just been called adorable."

My lips curve into a smile as I continue to read out loud, the text reminding me of a certain someone. A wide grin spreads across his face and I know that he's thinking the same thing. His smile quickly fades as we pull into the school parking lot. I groan out in both nerves and annoyance, folding the corner of the page before closing the book.

"I don't want to be back." I frown, reluctantly unfastening my seatbelt as we pull into a free parking space.

He chuckles quietly, reaching over and grabbing the pizza box from the back. "I second that."

I grab ahold of the bag from the floor and quickly shove my novel into it, before swinging it over my shoulder and stepping out of the car. Harry meets me at the front of the car a couple minutes later with both of our overnight bags we had brought home for over the break. The blinking of the lights informs us that the car is now locked as we make our way towards the buildings.

As we're waiting for the elevator, a tall blonde girl stands beside us, the chewing of her gum adding to my annoyance.

"Oh hey Harry," She smiles, her chest noticeably pushed out.

He sends her a nod as the elevator door opens, ushering me into the small space before standing beside me.

"How was your break?" She asks, her eyes raking over his body in a very obvious manner.

"Good." He replies cooly, his eyes focused on the silver doors in front of us.

The doors open on the third floor, the tall blonde glancing at me before exiting the small space. "See ya, Harry."

An unwanted feeling spreads through my body. Who was that? My mind begins to race with many different scenarios. No, I tell myself. Harry would never do that to me. He even said so himself, he knows how it feels to be betrayed since he has experienced it. I shake my head to get rid of my thoughts before looking up at the strangely quiet boy.

"Do you want to settle in and then come over and watch Netflix?" I ask, smiling at the idea. I'm not ready to go back to reality just yet, one more night of movies can't hurt.

He seems torn, his face holding an unreadable expression before looking down at me. "Er, I'll call you later? I have something I need to do."

An eery feeling washes over me as I slightly nod my head. A smile makes it's way to his lips before his lips are pressed against mine. "I'll call you later, alright baby?" He asks, his voice holding some concern as if he can read my thoughts.

I nod my head and watch him leave through the doors, making the dumb decision to follow him.

Notes

Hi guys! I'm sorry I haven't uploaded, I went to the Miley Cyrus concert which was quite... interesting. And I've been busy at work! I also work tonight & tomorrow. I apologize if this chapter isn't that great, I had it written last night and the website crashed on me and everything got deleted so I had to rewrite it and I didn't have as much effort as I did when I first wrote it.

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, let me know what you thought in the comments below. It was more of a filler but I tried to make it some-what exciting.

If you don't follow me on Instagram, I am extremely nervous because I am moving to London, England this upcoming September!! It's a huge deal for me because I live in Canada so this is a really big move. I leave in 157 days and I am currently going crazy.

Anyway, please please please rate & subscribe. It really means the world to me. Can we get to 50 votes?! Love you all.