Chapter 23:
(Harry's P.O.V.)



The droplets accumulating on the restaurant windows blurred my vision of the car. I know I wasn't suppose to be here, but she's fucking knocked out by that shit we gave her. Niall's stressing out over it, muttering something about how she's gonna murder him when you finds out. Pussy.

"You better leave Styles, Niall's flipping out over this and is about ready to wake her up." Liam took a seat in my booth, dragging his little girlfriend with him.

He makes me fucking sick sometimes. His 'precious' plastic girlfriend has him wrapped around her dainty little finger. Liam and I used to be close, but he's been a pussy and isn't reckless anymore, he's like a fucking parent or something. Grow some balls and do something, he's whipped.

"Fuck off, I'm staying." I didn't even bother to look at them. But the face I say from my perfersll vision from his doll was priceless.

"That's it!" Someone shouted from across the dinner. "Get the hell out of here Styles or I'm bringing her home!" Niall pounded his fists on my table and threatened me.

He doesn't intimidate me at all. I'm not leaving.

"Be my guest, take her away." I crossed my arms and slouched in the booth.

"I'm not kidding Harry." Niall clenched my shirt in his fists.

This set me off. Who is he to think he can tell me what to. And threaten me? Fuck no. I make the decisions around here, and if he doesn't cope with them, he's got another thing coming.

"Neither am I. Leave, get your asses out if here. We don't need you." The anger boiled deep within me.

"You've changed Harry. I've dealt with all of your shit before, but this is fucking ridiculous." Niall shoved me back into the booth.

I was just about ready to come back at him, before I noticed the figure standing behind him. Paris, in her drossy and wiry state after uncomfortably sleeping while on medication. I knew what that was like. Going at it all night, hanging at the bar, getting high, and not remembering it the next morning.

Paris's glassy eyes looked disappointed and unimpressed. I knew she was furious with me, and this was just upsetting her more. I know she has had a rough day and this wasn't helping her, everything is bound to get fucked up when I'm around.

"Niall, let's just go. He's a dick, don't let him get the satisfaction he wants." Paris shot me a look.
Wrong, very wrong. I don't want the satisfaction, I want this day to end. Nobody knows about the shit I had to do. Nobody knew about the phone call.

"No. You guys stay, I'm out of here. Your hotels will be ready at three thirty, be at the church by four thirty." I threw some cash down on the table and left.

Paris obviously needs something to eat, and I have regained enough of a heart to let her do so, without me. I slammed my car door behind me and slowly pulled out of the diner's lot. I had about a half an hour or so until I would reach Easton's home town. I knew this place by heart, after all the years, some things never change. With the constant moves and changes we are faced, it's odd to think of how much actually happened during those years.

The drumming of the rain which once was soothing, now annoyed me. To me it sounded like a clock,ticking down the time until yet another thing gets fucked up. Something always does, it's just a mater of time.

I decided to drive to one of the only places I could think in this suffocating town. It took six minutes before I pulled up to the familiar gates of the cemetery. The gravel crunching beneath the weight of my car. The rain pelting my skin as I walked off towards the field. After the incident I tried to run away, my mother never getting the proper service she deserved. Her body was burned and the ashes were never found. Even so, when I grew older, I chose this spot. Taking her second favorite bracelet, and a few other precious items, and I buried them. It was my own way of displaying my love.

I knelt down at the little patch of daisies now occupying the space above ground. Too many deaths. Too many people being taken too early. "It's not fair!" I clutched a handful of dirt and smeared the pedals on the flowers. I loose everyone, everyone who gets close of me leaves too early. Next thing you know I'll be back here, crying my eyes out for Niall. My only remaining 'brother'.

I recall reading a book in my adolescent years. It was about the labyrinth of suffering, and how everyone is trying to get out, and only some do. Meanwhile others are trapped in it, along with me. But l learned a little something about life that nevertheless came across. Life was for free but to live it, will cost your fucking life.

My phone rang and rang in my pocket. My subconscious mind draining it out. Whoever it was could wait. I was dealing with the only person I have ever loved it life. But the alerts grew more and more difficult to ignore until it was too much.

"What?" I snapped at the caller.

"The ceremony starts in fifteen minutes, hurry up." Was all the voice demanded.

"Shit." I ran back to my car, flooring the gas pedal.

Red lights flashed, car horns honked, but I wasn't slowing down. This was too important to miss. I was not letting Easton get buried without me there. And finally I reached the church, bells already ringing. I was still dressed in my muddy jeans and black t-shirt. Time was unforgiving and hadn't allowed me much time.
I swung the carved wooden doors open and hurried in. The Pastor almost done talking, guest already said good bye, now seating with tears. But I kept moving, straight down the isle to the urn and picture. For the first time ever, I nearly cried I front of a group. But I didn't. The water didn't flow but the feelings were mutual.

Nobody had it in them to stop me. I was knelt down, arms grasping onto the stand. I lost another one, another fucking one gone.

Nothing compares to loosing two. One is devastating, especially a family member, but two is unbearable. Your friend, your enemy, the one who knows you is gone. It's an indescribable feeling to have. You're dead, they sucked out your last breathe and left you here to suffocate.

As the ceremony came to a close, I was still there. This couldn't be happening, he's not gone, no! I'm not loosing another one! "No! He's not gone!" I shouted and swung my arm around, coming in contact with a vase of flowers.

It's funny how I actually believed for a time things would be okay. Like things like this weren't going to happen. And then reality slapped me pretty hard. How foolish of me to think I was able to live a fucking relatively normal life. Something is always going wrong with me. I'm a fuck up, and I know that, so really it's all my fucking fault for caring.

I gathered myself and fled. My head is already loud enough inside, I don't need more voices taring me apart. I do that enough to myself in the physical world. So I sat outside the building, my back pressed against the cold bricks. Rain barely able to call itself a drizzle.

Voices shouted at each other. The noise growing closer and closer to where I sat until it was visible. A man barking at Paris, Paris defenseless in words. I was frozen, stunned as everything swirled around me. They argued for some time before the man made a fatal gesture.

He slapped Paris across the face. Multiple times before she could react. And something inside of me snapped. Moments later I was on top of the man. Beating himself with my already scratched hands. He deserves every fucking thing I did to him. Never, ever, touch a lady.

"Touch her again and I'll kill you." I gritted through my clenched teeth.

Pulling back, I stood, not able to even look at Paris. I need fucking space from all of them just as they need it from me. But here the two of us stood. Unable to do anything. So I left. She makes me do crazy things, things I can't even bring myself into doing. She's no good to be around.

"Why?" Her voice stopped me.

"Why what?" My voice was raspy and stiff as I turned around to face her.

"They all know and see you as something I don't. Why?"

"Don't judge someone by their attitude, that changes depending in who you are."

"So why does it change for me?" Paris was starting to annoy me.

"Why are you asking so many questions?" My temper grew.

"Cause you constantly do this, and I don't know what to do about it."

"Do what, what do I constantly do to you that is so important to discuss right now?" I motioned to our current location, the side wall and garden of a church.

"You do something for me, and then you lash out and hurt me, and try to make up for it."

"I would never purposely try to hurt you."

"I know you guys set that night up. So you can stop acting." Paris pouted.

"They got me all worked up, I didn't mean any of that. You can't just fucking expect me to chase after you and explain everything."

"You can't take that back Harry." Paris reminded.

"I know more than anyone else that you can't take things back." I started to turn away.

"So where does this leave us?" Paris continued.

"You left, remember. I don't have a say, the choice is all yours." I left for good this time.

I was drained to a point of exhaustion. I don't get that much sleep as it is, much less with being here. There is only one shit hotel in this even shittier city and the gang would be staying there tonight. Looks like i'll be sleeping in my car, wouldn't be he first time I've done that here. Late night after parties, or getting smashed at the bar. Says a lot about the people here, one hotel within the small settlement yet there is room for a cemetery and funeral home.

"Harry? Is that you?" An old voice called after me as I nearly set one foot inside my car.

Don't do it.

I took a deep breathe and turned to face the caller. "Oh my, Harry. You've grown a lot since I've last seen you!" The woman looked me over, noticing my confusion. "It's Katie Morris, your old neighbor." The lady said as if she were a little unsure.

I remember her now. In the little time I spent here, she lived next door to me. At the time she was twenty or so and I remember even being as young as I was, I had a little crush on her. She had always taken care of me when I needed it. Looking at her now, she looks great. Katie must be in her mid thirties or early forty by now, and she doesn't look a day over twenty five.

"Hi, it's ah, been a long time." I shifted my wait uncomfortably.

"Well come here and give me a hug." Katie held her arms out. Her hugs always felt warm and cozy. I missed that. "So why are you here? Where are you staying?"

"Ah, I had a funeral to attend." Surely if I told her about Easton she would be devastated. But I'm just as surprised she didn't hear about it.

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that." She placed her hand around mine.

"Yeah, me too." I sighed.

"Well where are you staying tonight?" She is slowly getting on my nerves with the questioning.

"Ah, hotels all booked. So I'm uh, staying in my car." I shrugged.

"Oh, nonsense, you can stay at my house tonight. I'll make one of your favorite dinners and I still have your bedroom just how you left it." I had forgotten about how close we really were. She's like the next best thing to a family, other than with Easton or Niall.

"Ah, that sound okay." I tensed as she linked arms with me.

"Come on now." She tugged my arm.

"Um, I'll just take my own car, I remember the way." I started to slip from her grip.

I can't believe I agreed to doing that. As much as I enjoyed her company as a young child, now seemed like the wrong time. Memories already came flooding in, Easton and I, Easton and Niall, even Ed. A trip down my tragic memory lane did not sound good.

The drive was shitty, too many pot holes and slow ass drivers on the road. But it gave me time. Time to think of how to leave. I have enough manners to accept her gracious offer , but staying there all night seemed like hell. I needed an escape and the drive gave me the time to make one up.

"Brad, come on out here. Harry's here!" Katie cheered as I pulled into her driveway.

No.

"Oh, and bring Alex out too!" Katie was too excited for my arrival. And out came a large man and a little boy.

Kill me now.

"So what time is dinner, I have to meet with a few people from today's ceremony later tonight?" I played off part of my plan.

"Oh, um, right away. What time do you need to be going?"

Shit. "Uh, around eight thirty."

"Okay, well lucky for you I already started dinner, so please come in. This is my husband Brad, he can show you to your room." Katie motioned over to her husband.

He wasn't too bad for her by looks. He didn't look like scum or a violent man, which satisfied me. Katie deserves someone like him. "I think I can get to my room by myself." I excused myself from the awkward situation with Brad.

Just one dinner, get through one dinner without causing any problems.

My room scared me. Old pictures and drawings covered the walls. Toys still in their places. A thin layer of dust covering nearly every item.I ripped the pictures down, kicking around the toys and throwing them aside. The sound of broken toys being thrown at the walls echoed around the small space.

"Harry?" Katie's crept through my door. "Are you alright?"

"No, I'm not alright, I can't stay here. I'm sorry Katie, but I just can't do it." And stormed past her and towards the door.

"Wait, Harry. I know you've had a rough past—"

"No, I don't want to hear your pity on me. That's why I used to come here, you didn't acknowledged the things that we're going wrong. So don't you feel sorry for me, I don't want your pity!" I shouted at Katie.

"I know, I know. I just wanted to thank you, for coming back. I thought you were gone with Easton. But obviously if you are here in front of me, you are not too much of a fucker like you used to be when I watched you." Katie laughed, showing off her perfect smile on her beautiful face.

"I guess not." The corner of my mouth raised.

"Thanks for visiting, your welcome here whenever." Katie waved good bye. "Don't fuck shit up too much more!" She used to say that a lot when I was younger, but that was our little secret.

Driving in my car, I needed to calm down. Katie was able to do so for a short time, but my demons clawed at my insides. My mind started falling down the black sink hole.

The park.

The only place that didn't have a bad memory. I sat on the swings, rain coming down harder now than before. My mind blank for the first time in a while.

"This seat taken?" A sweet voice sat down besides me.

"Go for it." I didn't look at her too much longer. Floral rain boots, light, ripped, blue jeans, and a long black rain coat, about two sizes too big.

"So this is where you go when you're alone." The girl wasn't asking, she was telling.

"Do I know you?" I turned to her.

"You better." She shifted, revealing her face. Paris.

"Didn't see you there." I mumbled.

"Why are you out here?" I faced her. Wait I know that coat. "Is that my jacket?" I pointed to it.

"Think so, Niall must have grabbed it from my room, before I left, and packed it. " Paris was being so kind.

"Sorry." I muttered.

"What was that?" Paris pushed.

"I don't know why you are being so calm."

"You told me I had a choice, and I made it. Every one deserves a second chance, and Niall really couldn't deal with you alone." Paris's happiness was slowly draining.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, why do you ask?" She ignored it, putting on her best fake smile.

"Alright, cut the shit. Stop lying to me, you are acting all poised and kind when clearly you're not. " I spit out.

"I'm fine." Paris spoke.

"Whenever someone uses the words, 'I'm fine', they most never are." I took her hand and held it in mine.
Paris pulled away from me, leaving my hand in its place. But that little gesture sparked something within her. She ran around the children's park as if she were a damn kid. Sliding down the slide and falling off the slippery monkey bars. I don't think I've ever seen her so lively.

"Paris, c'mon, stop being so childish!" I called out with a smirk. Truly, no matter how goofy or silly she acted, Paris always has a way of making it sexy.

"Make me." Paris bit her damn lip, causing me to nearly loose it.

But I saw the opportunity so I took it. Chasing her around and playing hide-and-go-seek. Until finally I got her where I wanted her. "Gotcha." I smirked and spun around the cut out in the little wall, leaving me right I front of her.

Paris plopped herself down on the little ledge. "So this makes us friends?" She smiled.

"Paris, I think we both know we will never be able to be just friends." And she smirked, so I went for it.
I leaned in and kissed her rough. My hand firmly pressed against her back, deepening our kiss. Paris didn't even fight back, instantly returning my kiss. Our tongues chased each other around. "Harry." Paris moaned between breathes, as she ran her hand through my soaked hair. Wrapping her legs around my waist, I lifted her up. Pressing her back unto the playground wall, our kiss continued. I Took her wrists in my one hand, bringing them a over her head, pinning her to the wall. Pulling a piece of her wet hair behind her ear, I took notice of her beauty. Pulling my lip ring between my teeth, I smirked at her, unsure of what to say. "You know, I've never realized how beautiful your blue eyes are." Paris smirked before leaning forward to whisper something in my ear, or so I thought. She pulled me closer before returning her hands to their restraining position. Her lips crashing into mine, catching me off guard. I guess I wasn't the only one who wanted this.

Notes

Hello readers! I'm gonna keep this all pretty short and quick here. So I wish you all a Happy Easter! I hope the weather is nice for everyone seeing it snowed again here in Minnesota. Everyone is so done with it here, after all it's April.

Hope you liked it!
xoxo
-E