Chapter 17:

Song for the chapter:
Heaven by Beyoncé


"No, no, no, no!" Niall pounded his fists into the back of my seat.

Harry was driving down the highway nearly 100 mph. With the slippery ground from the light drizzle accumulating, I was extremely worried. We don't need two crashes in one night. Although I normally would scold Harry and tell him to slow down, but he's was stressed enough.

He's rapidly muttering swear words and other slang terms I don't know. Lights from bypassing cars showcased the anger and nervousness in Harry's features. We were all pale in the face, unsure of what was headed our way. There were literally so many scenarios running through my mind, none of which ended in a pleasant way.

At last we rounded the corner and stopped at the horrifying site. Harry waited a few moments before exiting the car, hesitantly working his way over to the car.

A large semi truck parked alongside Easton's car, almost untouched. If you were to kneel down besides his car, look beyond the twisted scraps of metal, you could almost make out Easton's limp body. Tattered and blooded, compressed between the driver and passenger seat doors. Above his flattened torso, a piercing piece of glass and metal poked through his shoulder. His crunched bones blended in with the blood stained plastics and oil. Easton's face nearly visible with all the blood and grim from burned metal. His arms and legs not every recognizable without searcher hard. For they were twisted like pretzels and sticking out the the flattened window, glued to the ground. It's hard to tell what was glass or fragments of skin and bone. Each image permanently etched into our minds. Off in the distance the sounds of sirens blending in with the pitter patter of the rain.

"No, please no!" Harry's cries mixed with his constant pounding on what's left of Easton's car. Things were silent for a few minutes as we started to face the facts. "No, Goddamn it! This is not fucking happening!" Harry screamed and tore into the ashes.

Niall attempted to hold back Harry, but he was too strong or Niall. Harry pushed aside burned scraps, not even bothering to be careful. Blood smeared all over him, but nothing stopped him. His mind was set on something and nothing was getting in the way of that. Eventually Harry gave up, falling to his knees. Dangling from one hand was a long silver chain, and paper plane pendant. The one that used to hang from Easton's neck.

As the sirens grew closer and closer, the words and pictures flashed throb my mind. All those jokes, and compliments, forever gone. No more heartfelt journals, no more pointless dares. He's not here anymore.

And in those last moments of silence, I realized the comfort of the rain. No one in the world knew what was happening to the three people sitting in the side of the road. Their tears mixing with the rain, and silent sobs unheard of. The sound of their cracking hearts could easily be mistaken for thunder.

"Why?" Niall cringed and left for the car.

The sirens that so loudly repeated, stopped and everything seemed to freeze. The only sound was the rapid blood pumping through my veins. And over and over again I heard the same voice echoing in my mind. The voice that used to make me laugh and comfort me, now chilled the very marrow of my bones.

"I figured that if I'm in a car wreck and in a state where I could die, I should. Everything happens for a reason, so I don't see why people wear seat belts to try and cheat death. If I got in a serious crash, obviously something was meant to happen to me."

The water continued to pour, and the night grew darker and darker. Life will move on. Easton's may not, but mine will, and tragedies like this will happen. And you can't do anything about it, you can't stop the further and you can't rewind the past, all you have is now. And what you make of it, is up to you.

Harry was now standing, over looking the crash one last time, before branching out a hand to me. I graciously took it and used his blooded hand to help me up. We will get over this incident, but sometimes you just need a helping hand to guide you.

"Come on." Harry mumbled and escorted me back the car.

The drive was silent, each person fighting off the reality of it all. No police were coming, this was for us to know, and to cope with. After fifteen minutes of driving we pulled onto our road.

"Get out." Harry stammered.

Niall didn't think twice and slammed the door behind him, putting his arms up to help get more oxygen to his head. "Harry, you're coming too." I didn't move.

"Get the fuck out!" Harry commanded with even more force than before.

"No." I stood my ground.

Harry finally lifted his head up, looking past me towards our front door. "Please Paris." He pleaded.

I took a deep breathe. "Don't do anything stupid." I softened up at the look of his hallowed face.
Harry didn't say anything, just pleasantly nodded before relaxing back in his chair.

Although normally you should never let an angry person drive late at night, especially when it's raining out, he needed it. As a kid I used to love just driving around the city. Not knowing in particular where you were going, but just enjoying the sights. And with the tragedy still fresh in our minds, he needed something to get this all off his mind.

Watching his car pull away, the lights shimmering in the rain, I stood. The rain messaging away the pain. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's learning to dance in the rain. So that's what I did.

I sang and danced to the words I'm my head. Not caring what anyone thought of me. I let my mind roam free and be blank. Twirling myself around I must have looked like a fool, completely in the zone. Everything else was unimportant it seemed, like I was infinite. Unfortunately, I knew that was untrue, and quickly snapped back to reality after the blinding lights and close proximity of the car in front of me. Is todo frozen, waiting for the blow to hit. Shielding my eyes, I tried my best to unmask the driver. But with the combination of water and lights, I was blinded.

"Care to dance?" Harry had the thinnest of smirks as he stepped out of his protective car and into the wetness of rain.

I took his hand, hesitantly. We've danced before in the rain, but that was for fun. This was to clear our minds. And each awkward misstep and fumbling with our hands, seemed more and more relaxing. For the first time in a while, I could breathe. It didn't matter if I fell on my face, or cried because of something small. It didn't matter what I was wearing or if I was tough enough. It didn't matter if I had enough make up on, or fit in. All that mattered was that there was a bond building. A strand of silk in a dress, a thread in a blanket, slowly increasing.

"What are you think about?" Harry whispered and spun me out.

"Nothing." I stopped and skipped onto the curb.

"I highly doubt that." Harry didn't have a smirk or a teasing smile, but a genuine look of concern.

"It's surprising to me, people die from drowning in water, and yet I suffocate in air, finally able to breathe in rain."

"So what you're telling me is that you're some sort of mermaid?" Harry cocked a little smile.

"Most defiantly!" I played along and splashed in the water.

We continued to laugh and play in the water for a good ten minutes before we stopped to catch our breathe. "You're a horrid dancer." Harry caught his breathe.

"And so are you." I had a slight smile.

"Take that back!" Harry splashed some cold water at me.

"Now why would I do that?" I smirked and ran towards the headlights on Harry's car.

It was like something out of a movie. I jumped up and slid onto the hood, managing to land comfortably with my back rested against his windshield. I adjusted the stray pieces of wet hair that were attached to my face and fixed my bunched up shirt. Maybe, not my best idea. Where as in a movie someone like Megan Fox would be looking all sexy up on the hood, I look like a wet golden retriever.

"Come on love, you don't want me getting up there, I'm sure of that." Harry smirked and bit his lip.

Without hesitation I jumped off his car. And it wasn't an ordinary jump, no, it was a Paris jump. Meaning, a slip and fall or jump with a terrible and embarrassing landing. Like where is the fun in a normal jump?

Taking soppy and sploshy steps inside turned out to be one of my worst ideas. Each step in my flooded shoes seemed to echo throughout the building. And then the reality of it all set in. We've all just lost a great friend.

Dragged my feet behind me, I set off for a long and sad elevator ride. Each floor I passed seemed to have some sort of memory with Easton. My mind played them like movies, mocking my sadness. And finally as I reached my floor, the memory of the first time he came here. And then again for the water park trip. I could vividly picture him leaning against my doorframe waiting for me to come out.

And I think the saddest thing of all is that I hardly knew him. Everyone else here has to live with a bigger burden and a bigger hole in their heart. And that's unimaginable to me, how after a few short days we had a connection, like we'd know each other for years.

After a long and torturous shower to cleanse me of my negative thoughts, I was nearly drained. Until I saw that larger than large ass wipe board resting in my bed. Easton's handwriting still scribbled over its sleek white back.

His journal.

I needed to find that journal, not for me, but for Harry and Niall. He said he used to write little stories of them all together and things he learned in life. I recall him once stating for a period of time he only wrote poems and quotes, all relating to something in Harry's and his own life. Each trouble was accounted for and each lesson learned was recorded.

So I set out. I don't care if I looked like a mad man or made as much noise as a construction site, I was on a mission. A mission to bring closure.

Racing down the stairs to Harry's room I passed the zombie looking Casper. Her head tucked into Zayn's shoulder as they both silently cried. I almost stopped to comfort them but decided against it.

Nearly sprinting the rest of the way, I ended up at Harry's door completely winded. "Harry?" I knocked.

Moments later the door opened up, revealing a dead looking Harry. Cheeks stained red, Harry all tattered, and cold looking features. He didn't say anything, just sniffled and stepped back, allowing me in.

"Harry, I need the key to Easton's room." My voice was sweet and soft.

"No!" He cried out a bloody holler.

"Please Harry, I have to find something." I begged.

"No. It's staying the way it is, locked up." Harry's voice was stiff with anger.

"I need something in there-" I started again.

"No." Harry shouted and clenched his fists.

"Harry, I need his journal. The one he used to write in with you as kids, the one he wrote in just a few days ago with me. You need his journal." I tried to convince him.

"I-I can't do that." Harry wiped a few tears from his eyes. "I've lost another one." Harry tucked his head in his hands, shielding away his pain.

And that broke me down. Easton's words in my head. "...he locked up his memories and is shielding out the pain and hard times."

Harry always is strong and dangerous, he has to be. But yet, I keep seeing him at his lowest point. Slowly, piece by piece, incident and incident he's breaking down. Reminds me a lot of myself.

So I dropped the argument and took him in an embrace. Squeezing his broken heart back together. Harry didn't retaliate, and I didn't expect him to. I didn't hug him for him to retaliate, I hugged him to make sure he knew I cared.

Everyone here seemed to have a shoulder to cry on, except Harry it seems. Everyone sees him as the big bad wolf who is too strong to need someone to lean on sometimes, but truth of it all. Sometimes the one you least expect to desire someone, needs it the most.

Notes

No explanation needed
on this one.

R.I.P. Easton.

xoxo
-E