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Listening to Niall

45- Without Ni

The drive back to the dorms was silent, only the radio playing in the background. Zayn was singing along to some of the songs softly while I just looked out the window watching as light seeped into the landscape as the sun came up. I felt empty. I have never said goodbye to Niall for more than a week. I was trying to remember how I filled up my time before I met him. What did I do? I used to hang out with El, Hilary and Max.
Gosh, how did time fly.. Just yesterday the four of us were driving back from that party…
"Drink some water love" Zayn handed over a bottle and some Kleenex. I didn't even realize the tears started up again.
"Thanks" I took both from him as he turned into campus.
It was 5 in the morning and everyone was still asleep.
"Thanks for driving them and letting me tag along" I glanced up at him when he stopped the car in front of my dorm room.
"Of course, go sleep Jay, later today come over and hang out with us ok?"
"Yeah, sure.. Thanks again"
"Come- give me a hug sweetie" I leaned in letting Zayn wrap me in his arms. I took a long and shaky breath.
I shift back and give Zayn a weak smile before getting out of the car. When I do I stay on the side walk watching as he drives off, as I used to do with Niall. When I no longer could see the car I turned and climbed the stairs to the flat. I unlock the door quietly and tip toe in so I don't wake Eleanor. I walk into our room taking of my flats as I did. I sit down on my bed, my gaze falls on my bed side. There is a framed photo of Niall and me. The photo is from last year, we were out at a club only the two of us without the whole clique doing shots. The club had a camera man going around taking photos, and he snapped one of us with shots in our hands. The photo got published a few days later, so Niall had it printed and framed for me.
Now looking at his wide smile and arm wrapped around my shoulders loosely I decide I'm not ready to sleep yet. I put on my trainers and hold my hair up in a bun. I am still in the red dress but I don't care. I walk out of the room quietly and out of the flat.
I started running the same trail I run every day and yet it seemed different to me today.
I know I am feeling sorry for myself and I should probably get over it. I promised myself to keep at it until after I sleep. Once I get up I have to face the fact that Niall is Russia and I need to get over it.
"Jamie" I was pulled back into reality as I hear someone calling my name. I turn to see Harry catching up to me.
"Oh, Hi Harry" I stop and wait for him to fall into step with me.
"Fancy seeing you up and early, and in the red dress- nice" He winked
"I haven't gotten to bed yet" I looked straight ahead as re ran.
"Goodbyes are hard"
"Well, it's not goodbye forever" I say nonchalant.
"Well no it's not, and still"
"Sorry, I'm feeling sorry for myself, I promised myself to stop when I get up from my sleep"
"You're allowed to feel sorry and sad Jamie"
"Yeah but I don't want to feel that way, I don't want to feel so empty, wondering how to fill up my day without Niall" I stopped in my place folding my arms across my chest.
It took Harry a second to notice I stopped. HE turned and walked back to me.
"What did you used to do before Niall?"
I watched his green eyes, he was fully awake at 5:30 in the morning waiting to hear my answer. It made me smile.
"What's funny?" He asked a half smile appears on his face making his right dimple show.
"I was thinking just that on the ride home, trying to remember"
"And did you?"
"Yes, I spent my time with Eleanor, Hilary and Max"
"Oh…" Harry blew out some air making the curls on his forehead blow to the side and away from his eyes, "Well you still have Eleanor, and you have Louis and Perrie and Zayn… And-"
"Perrie and Zayn are married so they don't always want to share time with us which is absolutely understandable.. And Louis and Eleanor just got engaged and I don't want them to feel they need to babysit me"
"Well you have me! I don't mind babysitting as long as you tip me well" He gave me a full hearted smile. My heart skipped a beat noticing that white gleam of a smile.
"I'm serious though, if you're feeling lonely give me a call"
"Thanks Harry, you're a good friend to have" I smile at him.
"Come on, I'll walk you back, you should get some sleep" He touched my shoulder slightly to get me starting back.
"Yeah, I should sleep I'm up for more than 24 hours" I sigh
"Promise me one thing" Harry glanced at me
"Ok, what?"
"That you'll take a shower before getting into bed"
"Eww Harry" I give him a shove giggling at his comment. He chuckled as he stumbled slightly from my push.
"you really think I would get into my bed after dancing around at a wedding and a run? If so you are absolutely mad" I laughed
"Just making sure" He shrugged
"Wait do I smell bad?" I sniff myself to make sure.
"YES! No I'm kidding, honestly though, I was sure that would be the first thing you would say"
"Oh well"
We walk the rest of the day back in silence. As the dorm buildings grow nearer I feel as the lack of sleep starts to take a toll on me.
"I think I'm ready to sleep now" I smiled up at Harry
"Good idea, maybe we all can meet up later?"
"Sure, Zayn said I should come over to them, but getting everyone together is great"
I thank Harry for walking with me and then head up to the flat. Eleanor was still sleeping.
I took a fast shower, getting into bed with wet hair.
I thought it would take me time to fall asleep since I'll be too busy thinking of Niall, but it came relatively fast, taking me under to the unconscious.





"Jamie?" I wake up to a soft stroke of my arm.
"Mmm" I mumble and turn over.
"Jay, it's six you should get up" Eleanor sat herself down on my bed.
"I've slept for that long?" I turn to look at her.
"You sure did" She smiled.
That's when I remember. I shoot up from bed and reach for my phone. Shit.
I missed Niall, not once, not twice, but 5 times.
"NO no no!" I say opening the message I received from him.

From: Niall

Hi babe, you're probably sleeping, we got here all right, we're on our way to the school to get settled in. call me when you can.
Love you and miss you
Xxx

"Damn it" I put done the phone and rub my face.
"Go wash up and call him. I just finished talking to Perrie, Zayn talked to Liam"
I get up and walk over to the bathroom.
"So we were talking about going to Factory 54" Eleanor referred to the new club that just opened outside of campus.
I shrugged at that, the only think occupying my mind was getting to speak to Niall.
I dried my face and petted my mouth, hurrying back to my phone. Eleanor followed me back but kept quiet, knowing there is no point in trying to say anymore before I get hold of Niall.
"Hey babe" I hear his voice from the other side of the line.
"Hi" I watch as Eleanor walks out giving me some privacy.
"How was the flight?" My attention is turned back to him
"It was all right, I was thinking of you" I could hear the smile in his voice.
"I was thinking of you too"
"It broke my heart leaving you over there crying, if only I could have stayed until you calmed down"
"Don't worry, I did, I had no other choice" My heart ached just from remembering our goodbye.
"So, what are your plans for today?" I asked after a short silents
"We have an orientation in a few minutes and then I'll go to sleep, I'm quite tired.. What about you?"
"Well, El just woke me up, she said they want to go check out Factory 54- that new pub that opened right outside of campus? But I'm not sure I'm up to going.."
"Why not? Jay go! have fun. hang out with friends, keep your mind off the fact that I'm away"
"Oh Niall, nothing can keep my mind off you, it's always playing there in the back that you won't be out with us, and you won't be when I get back to the flat" I take a deep breath ordering myself not to cry.
"Baby, it's hard- I know. It's also hard for me, but we'll get through this! I love you"
"I love you too" I tear escapes my left eye and I wipe at it fast, angry with myself for not being strong enough.
"I need to go, I'll call you before I go to sleep ok love?"
"Yeah call me! Send Liam my love" I say
"I will- love you babe!"
"Love you too" I say and wait for him to hang up.
I sit on my bed staring up straight but not really seeing anything.
"Jay?" Eleanor peeks in "Jamie, sweetie" She comes over and offers me a hug "I know it's hard but please come out with us, you don't want to sit and wait for his calls, that's not healthy" She glances at me
"You're right, what shell I wear?" I get up making up my mind- I will be ok.
After picking out some black jeans and a sky blue over sized sweater, we were ready to go.
We walked over to Zayn and Perrie's flat, knowing Harry and Louis were already waiting for us there.
"Jay!" Perrie ran over to hug me when I walked through the door "How are you holding up?"
"She's doing fine, finally some peace and quiet from blondie" Louis joked getting a finger jab from Eleanor.
"I was just kidding Jay knows that- right love?" He said pulling me in for a hug.
"Yeah yeah" I smile
"I see the tears dried" Zayn winked whispering in my ear.
"So- are we going then?" Harry said trying to get us all up and moving.
"Yeah- let me just get my coat" Perrie ran to her room.
We make our way down the street to Factory 54. My friends have a full conversation going on but I don't take any part in it. I am busy thinking of Niall. I know it's stupid, and I should get over myself and the fact he left, he will be back in a few months so what is this moping around? I shake my head as if to get rid of this feeling, and catch Harry looking at me and smiling. "Yeah shake it out Jay" He chuckled
I return the smile and shrug. He comes and walks beside me but we keep quiet.
We reach the pub and Louis holds open the door for all of us to get in.
"Jamie, give me your coat, you should get used to the room temperature so when you go back out your coat will keep you warm"
I glance up at Harry grateful but stunned for saying that. He holds out his hand waiting for me to shrug the garment off.
"Harry!" We all turn to see who called out. Mike his roommate is sitting at a table with Rose. Eleanor and I exchange looks.
"Great" Louis mutters. Harry glances at me as he walks over to Mike and Rose.
"What up mate? Come join us" Mike smiles, oblivious to the fact that all our faces fell as we saw Rose sitting beside him.
"Ummm" Harry looked at us, not sure what to say.
"Come on guys, you won't find another table, the pub's full" Mike told us.
I watch as Zayn shrugs leading Perrie over and pulling out a chair for her.
I find myself sitting in between Harry and El, mike sitting across from me.
"So Jamie I loved the photos" Mike smiled
"Photos?" I wasn't following what he was on about.
"Oh wedding photos- they are all over Facebook" El filled me in.
"Gosh really? I haven't seen any yet" my eyes grow wide with excitement
"How is that? You are all the time on Facebook" Rose spoke up.
"No I'm not" I frown at her. Not sure why she would say that.
"Sure you are, I keep seeing photos of you pop up" Rose pressed
"That doesn't mean she's on Facebook, that just means someone tagged her" Perrie said
"Yeah, Jamie isn't on as much after what we did last year" Louis smiled and bumped Zayn's fist.
"What have you done?" Mike asked
"We got into her Facebook, changing her status into 'in relationship' and wrote things, changed her profile photo to this photo with one of the boys from her class and asked him to play along and confirm the status change" Zayn laughed.
"You did not" Mike was amazed
"Gosh I had my whole family call me the next day, and I haven't even known they had done it" I shook my head laughing about it now.
"Your class mates thought you got engaged remember? Clapping when you walked into the class room" Eleanor giggled
"That's right! Niall was so pissed" Louis remembered
"Now I understand why" I smiled
"You two are still going strong hey? Saw the photo of both of you from the wedding"
"I want to see it" I banged my hands on the table "Good thing we came here or else I would have never known" I joked
"Don't you always sit at the JK club?" Rose spoke up again
"No- I've been there maybe once" I answered her
"NO- you're always there it's like your favorite place" She said not letting it go
"I was there once last year I think, so how would that be my favorite place?" I was starting to get annoyed with her.
"Come on, you love that place"
"Because she goes out with you all the time so you would know what is her favorite place" Eleanor spoke up.
"It is-" Rose started to answer
"Rose- just stop ok, let it go" I say. This night was heading down hill fast.
"So where is Niall anyway?" Mike asked
"Russia, with Liam" Louis told him
"Oh, sorry to hear that" Mike gave me a sympathetic smile
"Harry you must be happy, having Niall out of the picture"
"You know what Rose? I'm gonna go" I stand up deciding not to fight with her, it just wasn't worth it.
"Come on Jamie stay" Perrie called out to me as I put my coat back on.
"No I'm tired anyway, have fun" I wave and walk out.
I make way back to the dorm building, thinking of what Rose said.
That wasn't true! It can't be, Harry and I are just friends.
"Jamie"
I look back to see him hurrying up to me.
"What are you doing here?" I asked
"Niall would have never let you walk back alone" He smiled. That was true. A pang of emotion took over me, what a heart did this boy in front of me have.
"So you came to walk me?"
"I did" We started walking again, not speaking the sound of our paces echoing in our ears.
"Harry?" I started
"Hmm?"
"Nothing" I change my mind. It would be completely stupid to ask him straight out if Rose was right, not to mention ruin our friendship.
"Well, here you are, are you sure you'll be fine by yourself?" He asked looking up at the dark building.
"I'm sure, Niall needs to call anyway- thanks for walking me Harry" I kissed his cheek full of gratitude
"No problem, see you running tomorrow?"
"Yep, good night"
I walked up to the flat. Once in I got ready for bed, taking my phone all around making sure I won't miss Niall's call. I got into bed, the phone on ring, so even if I do fall asleep it would wake me.
I missed Niall, but I knew I had good friends with me who would make the time passing by easier.
With that thought I fell asleep still waiting for the call
The call, that never came.

Notes

Hi my loves!
Hope you like the update!!!
I started a new story with Niall and Harry staring it- Would you mind checking it out and letting me know what you think?? it would mean the WORLD!!!
It's called 'KEEPING HOPE"
if you do like it- be sure to rate, subscribe and leave a comment =)
and if already- did you all rate this story right here? If you didn't then please do! it does mean so much when you do!!
love you all
xxx

Comments

I LOVED THE ENDING.... but haz is still alone... oh well

CrazyM0F0 CrazyM0F0
4/13/14

Yassss they kissed! :) i cant stop smiling!

I an so happy

CrazyM0F0 CrazyM0F0
4/5/14

I think her and hazza should be together

CrazyM0F0 CrazyM0F0
3/24/14

They have to get back together :'(((

ClaireBearrr ClaireBearrr
3/18/14

I just got my friend hooked and so she can tell me :D
But they really have to stay together if they don't I will cry and never stop